Pre-marital examination found that her boyfriend had AIDS. Do you want to be with him?

My boyfriend always knew, and I didn't know until I got married. Now both parents don't know, and they have been urging marriage. He hoped to get a proof from me that the doctor said it would not affect daily life.

Good for me, good for my daughter, so I am very entangled.

The highly praised respondent said, "I think you are a little silly. Your boyfriend deliberately concealed his medical history. You're not sure if you're infected. First, emphasize that people are good to you. Of course it's good for you. If you are not good, you will run early! "

The following is also to persuade her to wake up early.

We don't know what she chose in the end, but those girls who just want love will have a good life in the end. From the following example, we can guess one or two.

There is a saying on the Internet that people like:

Some women are really nice. She has no requirements for men, but a sincere heart, but often this kind of woman gets nothing. Those women who are looking for a house and money have a good life, but you are looking for feelings. In the end, you have nothing and you are black and blue.

In the comment area, there is a uniform: "I said I/fought for my children/my tears have dried up."

After combing a lot of emotional events, I found a rule that there are many women who only have love in their eyes, which can be roughly divided into two categories: the little princess and Cinderella.

①? The little princess is a girl with a good family, smooth sailing and growing up under the care of her relatives.

There is nothing wrong with love, but extreme care may lead to two consequences: people are too kind to know the sinister world and will not protect themselves; Become too obedient, eager to rebel, and want to find yourself.

Just like "the murder of a female teacher in Cixi" and "the case of hiding his wife in a Shanghai freezer", the two victims were a dance teacher with a good family and excellent progress, a good girl with a stable job and a quiet and obedient voice, while her boyfriend's perpetrator was an amorous prodigal son with extreme personality, no stable job and rebellious personality.

When Yang, the victim of the "Shanghai freezer wife case", took her boyfriend to see her parents for the first time, her grandmother said that her boyfriend was "oily and powdery" and her parents didn't like her, but she couldn't resist her daughter's repeated insistence.

Why do good girls fall in love with bad boys?

In addition to the advantages of appearance, the unrestrained prodigal temperament of bad boys will also make obedient girls shine. It turns out that life can still be like this!

"Low academic qualifications, frequent job hopping, and wages are generally not important. Anyway, I have what he doesn't. "

When a bad boy vows to turn over a new leaf and be a good person, a good girl will feel that she is the last harbor of the other party.

The little princess's love rule is: save and pay.

She didn't know that the bad boy prepared the same lines for every girl:

"My cheerful appearance is an illusion, but my heart is scarred. I had an unfortunate childhood, growing up in loneliness and having a miserable fate. I am moving forward in pain, and only when I meet true love can I be saved. Only you know this secret, because you are the only true love in my life. "

This trick of mind control is really slow and steady, ruthless, so that good girls have no power to fight back. She was so kind that she was surrounded by love since she was a child. How can she watch the people around her suffer?

She believes unconditionally, sympathizes unreservedly, tries her best, and asks for nothing in return. Only when the other party is satisfied can she be satisfied.

②? Cinderella

"Happy people use their childhood to cure their whole lives, while unfortunate people use their whole lives to cure their childhood."

-Austrian psychiatrist Adler

The little princess never lacks love. On the contrary, Cinderella was neglected by her parents since childhood, and she was lonely and helpless. She doesn't know what love is, and she is eager to be cared for. She has been looking for love all her life.

She needs the affirmation of others to be sure that she is loved and safe.

She is always worried about being abandoned and rejected, and she is in fear for a long time. Because intimacy is so important to her, her life often revolves around love.

Just like Zhou Xuan, the "golden voice" of the Republic of China, Shanghai contemporary female stars can't compare with her in terms of tragic life experiences.

She was trafficked when she was very young and changed hands like a commodity.

The bitter life experience made her sensitive and dependent, and she always wanted to find the feeling of being hurt and loved. Look at her several relationships, all of which are without careful consideration.

Why does Cinderella fall in love with bad boys?

Because her life is too bitter, even if it is a sugar-coated cannonball, even if it is for a shiny and attractive sugar coating, she will not hesitate.

Cinderella's love rule is: please and rely on.

As long as you don't leave me, I will do whatever you say.

Next, let's talk about bad boys.

They are all good at camouflage, but they all have three characteristics in essence: flower, weakness and fierceness.

①? Flower: philanderer.

Bad boy's flowers are his nature, so on the one hand, it can stimulate people's desire to conquer, on the other hand, it makes people unwilling.

In the book Influence, Theodini wrote: "The fear of losing something seems to stimulate people's actions more than the desire to get the same thing."

British writer G.K. chesterton put it more directly: "Whatever it is, as long as you know you will lose it, you will naturally fall in love with it." .

Being a bad boy's girlfriend always has a sense of crisis.

At the same time, a new emotion quietly breeds, that is: beating other opponents and making others envy themselves.

This is not love, but a desire to conquer.

Many times, we don't understand why those scarred girls don't break up.

Because she didn't want to.

I don't want to be robbed of my boyfriend, I don't want to pay so much but get nothing, I don't want to give up like this.

The worse a man is, the more he has to pay, and the more reluctant he is to leave. But want to pay double the price, compromise again and again, and finally no way back.

This is not love, it is unwilling.

②? Weak: dress up as a pig and eat a tiger.

There are two "weaknesses" of bad boys. One is camouflage, which aims to win your sympathy and get the "unconditional love" that parents treat their children.

Bao Li, a girl from Peking University, and Mou Mou, her boyfriend, have always called each other "Mom/Baby".

Before she died, she said in the last WeChat to her boyfriend: "Mom apologized to you today."

There is also a kind of bad boy, the five elements lack calcium, which is really weak.

This kind of man can't bear the responsibility. He usually talks sweet words, but once he is in trouble, he starts to run first, leaving you standing in the same place and cleaning up the mess.

Hu Lancheng is such a person.

Shortly after the divorce, he and Zhang Ailing had a private life.

But it wasn't long before he changed his nature and began to show mercy everywhere, living with Fan Xiumei, the concubine of his friend's dead father. After the other party was pregnant, he didn't want this child, so he wrote a note to let his niece take Fan Xiumei to Shanghai to ask Zhang Ailing for money.

This intimate relationship lacks independence, equality, respect and understanding, only a "child" who is willing to act and a "mother" who is tolerant and doting.

③? Ruthless: a heartless heartbreaker.

As the saying goes, an open flame is easier to hide than an open flame, but it is difficult to prevent it. Abandoning his wife and children is not the most terrible thing.

The most terrible thing is that people who hide needles in cotton wool will hold on to your mistakes, overturn all your previous efforts, and control you by causing guilt and self-blame.

Until, you give up resistance, surrender, kneel on your knees without dignity, have empty eyes and no thoughts, and be at his mercy like a marionette.

After her death, her mother learned from their chat messages that Mou had never liked it because she gave it to someone else for the first time, but she didn't want to break up because it had been torturing her.

British psychologist batson put forward the concept of double bondage.

Simply put, it's wrong to do this and it's wrong to do that.

For example, Mou will mention the first thing every once in a while. Bao Li initially retorted that "my best thing is my future", and Mou retorted that "you don't care about that thing?"

Want to break up, I don't agree. It also controls all aspects of her life and gives her a spiritual blow day after day.

Double bondage, like a black hole, makes people feel uncomfortable, unclear and inseparable until they blend in.

Seeing this, you may want to ask, how can we choose the right person?

Let's take a look at the trilogy of love and marriage:

①? Attract each other.

The two sides were attracted by the external image, personality traits, ability and talent, and met and fell in love.

②? Mutual recognition.

Two people have the same values and communication is barrier-free.

③? Cooperate with each other.

In marriage, the two sides play different roles, work together, become bigger and stronger, and create greater glories.

After the trilogy of love and marriage, let's look at the three criteria of marriage:

①? Brilliant.

Talent can be divided into superficial talent and practical talent.

Many bad boys are good at bragging and self-packaging, but they just won't land.

They look brilliant, and it seems that they can become the next wealth rookie with one chance. But in fact, they have achieved nothing, not even a job.

The real talent is not just talking, but landing, or trying to turn your ideas into reality step by step.

To put it more bluntly, many men who want to solve the problem of marriage and love spend their meager income on ineffective training, and attract the opposite sex by creating personal designs (such as showing luxury cars in Friends) and self-packaging.

The feelings obtained in this way are dangerous and serious, and will also lead to their own depression.

②? Have sincerity.

There are two standards of sincerity: consistent words and deeds and long-term goals.

A good man will pick you up from work on time, rain or shine, pay attention to your body and mood, be careless, and help you quietly cover the slipping quilt. When you are awakened by a dream, he will hold you in his arms and comfort you gently for the first time.

Because he wants to spend his life with you, not for a while.

③? Feel safe.

There are also two standards: consistency of three views and continuous efforts.

It is very important that two people are happy and agree with each other.

Whether it is loyalty or dance academy, the closer two people understand love, the more stable their feelings will be.

What is a sense of security?

Does the money count? Does tall and mighty count? Does male chauvinism count?

What if the rich can't give you anything but money?

What should the person with strong appearance do if his heart is fragile?

What if male chauvinism only crosses the nest?

The real sense of security is that men keep paying and sheltering you from the wind and rain with practical actions.

In a relationship, if you pay more and get less, then he doesn't love you so much.

If you pay less and get more, please cherish this person.

Love is when two hearts are close together.

When women are tired, they are eager to have a solid shoulder to lean on, and they all want a pair of warm big hands to hold their cold little hands in their palms and pass on their love from one heart to another.

Love doesn't like glitz and noise, and often comes in obscurity.

Love is the comfort in trouble, and it is the eyes of mutual sympathy in trouble.

Therefore, feelings that can stand the test of time are true love.

Postscript: Welcome to pay attention to like and forward the message. Your support is my greatest motivation. Taste life with psychology. I'm @ jingjing jingjing.