Movies are near, but love is far away.
1When I came back from the moon at the end of 980, Angel was obviously taller than me and didn't shave. He is wearing a Shanghai brand watch in his right hand and stepping on the shoelaces of the Warriors' football shoes. His knickerbockers are full of fairy tales, like when he was 5 years old, and he didn't like to talk.
"Angel, let's start again!" I said.
Actually, I didn't say that, because I didn't know who Li Yaohui was at that time. I haven't been to the moon either.
After coming out of the gate of * * high school, I met ANGEL. They walked side by side under the tree, crossed Dong Er Road, walked to Liqun Commodity Market, and then walked back, hardly talking. Then the angel said, "Let's go to the movies!" "
At that time, there was no McDonald's or Monte Carlo. Why someone eats raw beef in Friendship Hotel is one of many mysteries to me. We walked towards the Children's Palace with our schoolbags on our backs, fearing that baked sweet potatoes would grow peas. I said I would eat durian. In fact, we are not eating durian, but native pineapple.
Then at the gate of the children's palace open-air cinema, the angel bought two tickets, one in his mouth and one for me. When I ate pineapple, I bought a pack of "Sanjie Liu" cigarettes. We walked step by step on the feldspar bench. I asked him, how is your school? Not good, mix it up! Angel said.
The open-air cinema is exactly the same as when we were young, except that the weeds in the middle of the feldspar bench are a little higher, fireflies fly on the weeds, and the sunset dyes the screen golden. Angel suggested jumping from the bench in the top row to the bench in the bottom row, and then jumping back. We kept jumping until two white optical cables appeared in the air.
I remember that the film was called "Dr. Edward", and it was many years before I knew the name of Strange Kirk. I still remember all the movies that Angel and I watched together. Before 1990, we have seen Batman Zhang Ga, street angels, tunnel warfare, spring in a small town, flower girl, witness, floret, rain rain, anxious to return, falling sky, love in the sea, late rain, legend of Tianyunshan, second handshake, many things, camel Xiangzi, middle-aged people, Shaolin Temple, Shanghai/kloc. Sister, past events in the south of the city, cold nights, black cannon incident, ghosts in dark rooms, ships in the ocean, the legend of the new Shu Mountain swordsman, the secret order of the best partner, the closed hell and so on.
After 2000, ANGEL went to another place, far away. I wonder if there are fireflies. Sometimes,
When I sit on the bus, I will imagine two pictures. One is that Angel's forehead is broken, and the other is that Angel and his girlfriend are hugging where the bus passes, waiting for the heavy rain to stop. Everyone usually has two fates. I hope Angel is the latter, so I may see him at work.
Just like the years in the movie, the clip between me and the angel can really be edited in my memory, that is 1990.
That day, after watching Dr. Edward, we didn't want to leave. Angel looked at me with a nervous expression like a hero. His eyes are strange and terrible in the dark. I didn't want to say it at that time, so after so many years, I wrote it here. We decided to look at the world behind the screen. Angel walked in front, turned around for a while, asked me if I was afraid, and then handed me a cigarette. There is a thick iron gate in the screen building of the open-air cinema. ANGEL took a photo with a lighter for a long time, and then told me that it was locked in disappointment. But the angel said that one day he would discover the secret inside. Therefore, his ideal is to enter the film academy.
1992 I was admitted to the university, Angel was not admitted to the Film Academy, and he was not admitted to any university. He came to see me at my school and painted the sky on my canvas with paint. His sky is a series of crossed black lines. What is the sky like? I asked him. He said, "Do you know there is a kind of bird in this world? It has no feet, so it can't land. "
I said I don't know. What kind of bird is it? He smiled. He seldom laughed since he was a child, but he smiled inexplicably that day. Before I knew it, Angel kissed me. Half a minute later, Angel took out a Bai Wan and lit it: "From now on, you are my 1 minute girlfriend. It's no use if you don't promise, because 1 minute has passed. "
Everything has a moment of decision, and when I have made up my mind, the moment between Angel and me has actually passed. It's just that I don't know, I never knew, and this ignorance lasted for many, many years.
When I was in college 1 grade, like all my classmates, I was infatuated with heroic movies such as Huang Feihong, Huang Feihong II, Men Be Strong, the legendary swordsman and Heroes. Sometimes, between elders and children, there are Bai Lianhua and royalists. Huang Feihong, ghost foot chess, dragon dance, lion dance and centipede dance are one of the boys' recess activities. Girls will have a big fight because they like Anita Mui or Cherie Chung, and finally because Tony Leung Ka Fai and Chow Yun Fat hit it off. James J.S.Wong's Laughing at the Sea is a college song. There are also many students who daydream and travel in Vietnam in black trench coats like ponies. A boy who was a late bloomer fell in love with Brigitte Lin in the Beijing Opera Blues. Fortunately, he didn't see Dong Fangbubai at that time.
Angel took me to see another movie. Now, this movie has been engraved on a tablet computer. But at that time, I didn't know who Wong Kar-wai was, just as I couldn't figure out the connection between Butterfly Dream and Doctor Edward. The name of that movie has never been forgotten. It's called The True Story of Teddy Boy.
That year, I didn't love this movie as much as Angel, because I was afraid that Angel would think I was Su Like Li Zhen. In the small projection room behind the college, I peeked at him, and his face turned blue.
In the days after The True Story of Teddy Boy, some things have changed beyond recognition. Of course, a movie can't change an era. It should be at the time of an era change that this film is in labor.
When I was a sophomore, Angel opened a record store. I went to see him when I came home during the summer vacation. His business is very good, and he becomes very talkative. He talked a lot with many guests, mostly female high school students after school. I don't remember what I said. It was strange that there was "whether" on the tape recorder at that time. I don't remember any versions of Zhang Aijia, Pan Yueyun, Emil Wakin Chau and Du Lisha, only Julie, because the last movie Angel and I watched on holiday was "Taking the Wrong Bus".
Julie was not famous then. He said I looked like her when I didn't talk.
"Isn't it, this time, I really will leave you ..."
Now, there are people singing this song at the top of their lungs in K Hall.
I know everyone is a little messy, but I don't know where it is. Angel suggested going to see "Wild Lily also has Spring". After reading it, it's very late. We have nowhere to go. I don't want to go home. Angel is homeless. So I suggest watching another movie. As a result, Huang Qiusheng's third-rate movie Wife Abuse was released at midnight, and I watched it all. Angel hugged me on the shoulder. I confidently asked Angel if you had a girlfriend. He said, no, I don't need it either.
When he said this, I forgot what he looked like when he was a child. He was wearing narrow jeans and his hair hung over his shoulders. He doesn't like to look at my face when he talks, and occasionally he holds my shoulder. After the release of Wife Abuse, it finally ended, and Angel walked me home. The sky turned white. Angel bought me my favorite Lunjiao cake in the street and said to my aunt who sold breakfast, "That's very kind of you."
I wrote a letter to Angel, put it in my pocket and went to his record store. I saw him dancing cha-cha, blowing kisses, smiling, spinning and dazzling with a girl, which made me almost unable to open my eyes. I turned around and went home. The next morning, I got up early and decided to cut my double eyelids. I regretted this decision all my life, but I went anyway. The doctor sewed 2 1 needle on my eyelid with fishthread. After anesthesia, I began to have severe pain. When I came home, I cried as I walked. I know that tears may make them inflamed, but I can't help it.
Angel called me in the middle of the night and said that there was a movie I must like. I said I didn't feel well. Have you had your period? Angel asked with concern. I said, you are crazy. What does my menstruation have to do with you? Angel said unjustly, wasn't I by your side when you first came? So remember this time!
There is a line in the piano teacher. The female teacher said to the students, "You are not Schubert. He is ugly. With your appearance, you can't understand his mood at all. " Nine years ago, my mood was like that, and no one could understand it. A week later, Angel and I went to see the movie he said. Actually, Angel has seen it once. Maybe he just needs a bosom friend.
That movie is bride with white hair. When Brigitte Lin turned around, she was already white-haired. She only said to Leslie Cheung, "Why did you lie to me? ! "
Why did you cut your eyelids? Angel asked in surprise, "not good-looking. I like you the way you are. " I like it. It's none of your business. I said. The angel said, but I don't like it.
After watching the movie, Angel and I ran to our primary school. Angel flipped back and forth on the parallel bars. "Do you think this can light a cigarette?" He leaned his head on the ground and said, hey, hey, you can light it! Then he began to sing Leslie Cheung's song: "Before and after, I had it overnight. Isn't that old love? "
We watched a lot of movies that summer vacation, because Angel had to take the Film Academy exam. Everyone will go through this stage. When they see a mountain, they want to know what is behind it. I want to tell him that maybe when you cross the back hill, you will find nothing special. In retrospect, you will find it better here. But he won't believe it. With his character, he won't be willing to try. We watched Dong Fangbubai, A-Lang's Story, Hero Trio, If there is love in heaven ... He especially likes Wong Kar-wai and Du Qifeng.
After school started, I tried to forget the angel, and I wouldn't let myself go to the classroom or go back to the dormitory alone. Is it possible to try to forget someone? The answer won't be known for many years. Angel wrote to me as always. Now it seems that those letters are similar to BBS.
Beans:
Have you seen Chan Sarah's The Red Dust? I like Maggie Cheung and Brigitte Lin, but the photos are too literary and not strong enough. The acting skills in Qin and Han dynasties were very poor.
Beans: Dreamcatcher is good. Go find it. Recently, there are many westerns, and E.T. aliens have a large lineup. The song "Bright Days" is very beautiful. This is sung by Tayu Lo. You must like it. It is said that this sentence was adapted from a poem by Christina Rossetti?, an English poetess in the 9th century. I'll sing it for you when you come back.
Beans: The Man in the Cage and Under the Lion Mountain are really good movies. Hong Kong people are not as snobbish and caring as pig's head cakes. This word is sour! Hehe, it is said that you have to write a lot of such words to enter the film academy. By the way, I forgot to tell you that the pig's head cake gave birth to a little pig head, but he was not at home. He went back to Hong Kong to see his first wife.
Dou: Did you watch Farewell My Concubine? Chen Kaige is much better than Zhang Yimou. However, the best part of this film is Leslie Cheung. He is really unique. He walked through two gender spaces without obstacles.
……
I'm not in the angel's letter, only in the movie. However, every Monday, I never stop, and I never reply.
One afternoon, I went out to buy snacks at the school gate and suddenly saw ANGEL standing across the street smiling at me. Like last time, his eyes were blurred, like a weightless shadow. He said he would go to Beijing, and I don't know how long he would go. It was not until he was admitted that the store was given to someone. To whom? I asked, and I saw the girl who danced cha-cha with him. You don't know, she and her husband are separated, because her husband often beats her, and she lives alone without money. What does this have to do with you? I love her. Angel said quietly, "But she doesn't love me. She loves no one. Sorry, I didn't tell you this, because she is older than me 10 years old, and I am afraid that you will call me a pervert. "
Angel and I broke up for two years. I went to another city after graduation. At that time, Hong Kong films such as Flower and Moon Festival and butterfly lovers were popular, and there were countless Hollywood blockbusters. Nicky Wu, Yang Caini, Steven Allan Spielberg, sam neill, Tom Hanks and Malan Brando are everywhere ... I go to the screening hall near the Academy of Fine Arts every week to watch small movies and eat jiaozi in the middle of the night to kill time. Days when there is no news of angels have become a habit after a long time.
It is another autumn. There are no yellow leaves on the ground in the southern cities, but there is a chilly autumn wind passing by. Mom called to tell me that your primary school classmates are looking for you all over the world. Really? Of course I know this classmate, angel, not only in primary schools, but also in kindergartens and middle schools, and almost all in high schools or universities. Angel called me, her voice didn't change, and she didn't talk much. She was quiet and introverted again in kindergarten. Of course, I was not admitted. As for where I went, what I did and who I was with in these three long years, it's a long story. I want to see myself.
Here comes the angel. When we are together, we are still alone. Perhaps living in this world, always alone, is a normal state, so there is nothing strange. Of course, married people with children seldom get together. Angel lives in the house I rented. He didn't have any luggage, but he took some books published by China Film Publishing House and put them under my bed. That year, neither of us had a job. I make a living by writing, and he helps me with the housework. At first, I saw him drying my washed bra on the balcony, and my face turned red and my heart beat. After a few days, I got used to it. We don't have any big expenses, and the rest of the money is used to go to the small screening hall near the Academy of Fine Arts to watch movies. Angels' tastes are much more critical than before, and slowly, I am also critical. The girl who sells tickets in the screening hall is very bowlegged, speaks simply, has no boyfriend and seems to have no relatives. Like us, she lives alone in this city and takes a bath in the toilet in the corner of the projection hall. Angel likes her very much and often makes excuses to chat with her. She reacted coldly and once said loudly, "Your girlfriend is watching you!" Angel turned around and smiled at me. "Say, she doesn't mind!" " "
Sometimes when I watch movies with Angel, I fall asleep. I fell asleep on Ge Daer's shoulder while watching the movie "Exhausted". When I woke up, the angel was still watching me. I said you can't get enough of this kind of film in Beijing. He said with a sigh that he didn't understand it at that time. I've almost squeezed in with Angel since he came. What Andalusian dog, Ivan Reddy, Rashomon, Chaos, Wild Strawberry, Last year in Mariabad, Eight and a Half, The Last Temptation of Christ, Seven Deaths, Red, White and Blue, Ten Commandments, Red Desert, clockwork orange? I have watched 1 and 2 times the film appreciation class in the Academy of Fine Arts, but we still sat with the freshmen and sophomores and watched it quietly behind the dark head. For Angel, it may be a bad habit caused by loss. For me, it's just to accompany him who is lost.
The happiest day was watching Stephen Chow with ANGEL. Stephen Chow made us almost forget all the reasons to laugh when we saw Xu Guanwen, Huang Baiming and Zhang Jianting. This gangster who started as a slave in Heroes on Earth has become the object that Angel and I try our best to imitate in our daily life.
We are getting poorer and poorer, which is a problem. At that time, VCD players and computers were sold on the street. The angel promised to buy me one for my birthday, but he stayed at home every day, staring blankly in bed, without any income, and the time was up 1997. I got a job, working in a magazine, and the economy has improved. Angel still hasn't found any job. I know it's really hard to find food after graduating from high school in this city. I finally said, angel, there is a boy chasing me. Really? Do you like him? Not bad! I think he's fine.
That day, we watched Ghost Story again and walked from the street to the rental house. I asked the most difficult question between two people, and I said, the consequences are not difficult to imagine. Angel moved out, saying that he moved out, not exactly. He doesn't have any luggage. His clothes are mine. He took a few pieces, put them in a plastic bag and left.
I cried for a long time. Actually, I don't have a boyfriend at all I want Angel to stay, but I can't find a reason. We have lived together for almost 1 year, without even holding hands. Why should I keep him? This is common sense.
"I stayed in Taipei for one night before returning to Hong Kong. I went to Liaoning Street. The night market is very lively. I didn't see Xiao Zhang, only his family. I finally understand why he can walk around happily. He knew he had a place to go back. I don't know what it will be like to see my father again. We'll talk about it then. I took a picture of him when I left. I don't know when I can see Xiao Zhang again, but I'm sure I know where to find him if I want to. "
I remember this line, but this is a movie, not life. I also have a picture of an angel, but I don't know where I can find him if I want to see him.
1998, I have a boyfriend. I watched Sweet Honey with him. When I saw Teresa Teng singing in the street at dawn, my face was wet with tears, and my boyfriend hugged me tightly. The more so, the more sad I am.
Before we got married, I called my mother back to her hometown and asked if there was any news from Angel. My mother said, I don't know. She asked me your phone number long ago. What's wrong with this child?
I have been reluctant to write some movies, such as Endless Love and Newbridge Lovers. Nobody knows why. 1 year later, divorced. Some people worry that I am lonely. Introduce me to a new person. I have also been to relatives' homes, such as a man who works in a bank. We went to eat western food, and he suggested AA system. I think there is nothing wrong with it. Later, when he paid the bill, he gave 35 yuan less. I was a little surprised, but I didn't say anything. To reassure me, he told me that he paid for the condom last time. "Oh, then ... that's it!" I picked up my backpack and strode out of the western restaurant. He called to apologize and said that his mother was a thrifty person. After my father died, my mother became more frugal. His monthly salary is kept by his mother ... "Do you know? My mother is lonely and I don't want to hurt her. " I can't live with such people.
So, when Angel saw me again, I was still alone. We laughed, drank, told jokes in movies and talked about boring trifles like many years ago. As for the gap in the middle, everyone seems to deliberately avoid it and never mention it. All I know is that ANGEL worked in an advertising company after she left, and she had three or five girlfriends from time to time. He said he was a sexual partner. Angel only knows that I have been married, divorced and touched everything before and after. The bar where we met unexpectedly is called "Blues in the Night Wind * * * and."
Angel walked me to the crossroads. He said, "I'm not going in."
I said, it doesn't matter. Good friends have plenty of time.
The angel said, do you really treat me as a good friend? I said, yes, many, many years of good friends. Angel smiled faintly. I suddenly found that he looked old. Maybe me too. I wonder if he has noticed. "Well, I'm leaving." Angel left, and I remembered that I didn't ask him for his phone number! I wonder if we all thought each other was stuck in kindergarten? The reasons for it were not known
Angel and I have no relatives in this city. I used to think that we could be closer than our relatives, which may be an illusion. I went home for the Spring Festival. Many years ago, I changed from a record store to a gift shop. I got the landlord's phone number and found the woman Angel loves. She is 40 years old. It's terrible. She seems to have forgotten Angel.
I can't find any news about Angel. He has only one grandmother, and since her death, he has no home.
When I came back after the New Year, I expected to see him again in the "melancholy in the night wind", but the bar closed in the spring. In 2002, God introduced me to a friend who really knew Angel. He told me that your friend had a car accident 1 years ago, and his forehead was broken ... I don't want to hear about the rupture of other parts.
There is a cliche, which is actually very simple:
"Angel, give me a hug."
When I miss you/I fly to your side/over the mountain/to your side/when I am lonely/I travel alone/alone. ...