I think Milan is older than all of them, but when they are together, they don't clearly define this identity, and this is not their character, so Milan unconsciously put themselves on an equal footing with them, so they unconsciously call themselves uncle horse.
She must have her own things to do. If she had been at home often, the story wouldn't have developed like that. This is what Wang Shuo wanted to design the story like this. Moreover, this movie is told in a tone of Ma Xiaojun's recollection, so the story can't be seamless, and it has been said many times in the movie, and the hero can't remember that memory clearly. In fact, this is Wang Shuo's style of writing. I will understand it after reading his play "It's a heartbeat".
I think the role of Milan is mainly because Milan is the protagonist's first love, so I will give the protagonist a chance to emphasize this role. At that time, Ma Xiaojun was in adolescence and curious about love and sex, so the appearance of Milan was important and unforgettable for Ma Xiaojun at that time.
The above is just my personal opinion. If you want to have a deeper understanding of this film, you might as well take a look at Wang Shuo's original book "Fierce Animals".