Especially when people are old, if they are unfortunately single, they should learn to be independent and self-reliant, and don't rely on their children all their lives, because the greater the hope, the deeper the disappointment, and they still have to learn to live alone.
In the past, our traditional way of providing for the aged was: raising children to prevent old age. But in today's society, raising children to prevent old age is an expensive luxury in the hearts of the elderly. In life, there are very few old people who can really enjoy raising children to prevent old age.
As parents of the only child, they should plan their future pension in advance, and never rely on their children to provide for the elderly. It's not that we don't want to, but that the reality is really not allowed and unreliable.
After the 58-year-old aunt Qin's wife left the hospital, she went down to her daughter's house to help with the children. She feels that she is such a daughter, and her future pension must follow her daughter. But five years later, Aunt Qin changed her mind.
After staying at her daughter's house for five years, Aunt Qin said with emotion: If you are alone, don't go to your child's house. This is a thankless choice. Spending your pension and raising your baby will eventually be rejected. It is better to learn to be independent as soon as possible.
I am 58 years old. My only daughter has a family in the south and a lovely grandson. I came back from my daughter's house last year, initially because my wife died suddenly. My daughter-in-law is distressed that I can't live alone at home, so she takes me to live together and take care of each other.
I lived in my daughter's house for five years and took my grandson to kindergarten. But I found that my son-in-law was getting lukewarm to me, which made me feel bad.
Especially on weekends, I always kindly ask my son-in-law what he wants to eat. Son-in-law always answers casually.
Sometimes after dinner, I want to ask about my son-in-law's work. He will pretend not to hear me and go back to his room, which makes me feel embarrassed in their small family.
When I was chatting with my good sisters in my hometown last year, I told her my thoughts. This good sister told me, think about it, you are young and your children are old. Do you just want to live a small life of your own? It is always inconvenient to have an old man at home. Be careful when you want to indulge occasionally, let alone your mother-in-law.
I thought about it carefully, and I was right. I have been with my daughter for so many years. When my daughter and son-in-law really needed my help, my wife just left and they were very kind to me.
Now that so many years have passed, my daughter and son-in-law have a relatively stable job and the children have gone to kindergarten. It's time to quit the life of young people, so as to get along better.
I figured it out. I booked a high-speed rail ticket online and simply packed my things. I also told my daughter-in-law about this in advance. I said I missed my sisters in my hometown and wanted to go back and learn boxing from them.
My daughter naturally doesn't want to let me go, and my son-in-law's expression is very relaxed. She said, ok, shall we book tickets for you? I told them that I had made a reservation.
I transferred 10 thousand yuan to my daughter and son-in-law on WeChat with my mobile phone. Then tell them, thank you, when I was most sad, you took me to live with your mother and gave us so much affection and warmth. This is my little gift.
Suddenly my daughter couldn't help crying with me and said that she didn't want me to go back. She also tilted her head and glared at her son-in-law. The son-in-law was also very moved and said, Mom, we don't want you to leave. Please stay a little longer.
I know my son-in-law said that because of her daughter's eyes. Because once I mopped the floor in the living room and the two of them were arguing in the room, I heard my son-in-law say, when will your mother go back to her hometown? I feel more and more uncomfortable in my own home, and I dare not lie on the sofa and watch TV dramas at will. My daughter whispered, my mother is alone. How can I have the heart to let her go home alone?
In fact, daughters and sons-in-law are generally good. Although I have helped to take care of the baby, cook and clean up the housework, and pay them to buy this and that, my daughter and son-in-law still give me some pocket money every month.
But these, I will send them in the form of red envelopes during the Chinese New Year. During my five years in my daughter's home, I spent more than 4,000 yuan on my monthly pension, with little left. Most of my savings come from my financial management.
I always feel that I am such a daughter, and how much money I earn in the future is hers. My goal is mine and my daughter's, and my daughter's will never be mine.
Ever since I heard my daughter quarreling with her son-in-law, I have been thinking about going back to my home to live alone. Young people have a young life, so I, an old lady, will mind my own business.
Sometimes, young people need an independent space, a free world for two people. It's inconvenient for me to be here. I made up my mind, too. I'll go back and have a look. I really miss my children. You can sell the house in your hometown and buy a small house near your daughter. The distance between a bowl of soup is still very good. I am independent and take care of each other.
I've been back for almost a year now, and too many things have happened this year. First of all, when the epidemic broke out, I couldn't go out. I was at home alone, but fortunately I had the internet. I could learn a lot online and chat with my sister network.
The work of the daughter and son-in-law was also affected at the beginning. I was afraid that their lives were tight, so I took the initiative to transfer some money to them, hoping to help them for a while.
The older you get, the more you want to be close to your children and the more you want to accompany them. Why do you say that when you are old, there is only one person left, so don't live with your children? Nothing more than these reasons:
First of all, the pace of life is too fast now, and there is still a gap between our generation and young people, and many concepts are different. Try not to live together, out of sight, out of mind. Especially when I see young people shopping online and buying a bunch of useful and useless things, it is inevitable that they will nag a few words and conflicts will inevitably arise.
Secondly, if young people get into the habit of gnawing at the elderly, or think that the elderly should give them money, with these ideas, even if the elderly squeeze themselves dry, their children will not say that the elderly are good. When the old people reach old age, they are still excluded, and even end up in a bleak evening. Isn't it a waste of hard work? It is better to live alone and save some money for the elderly. If not, don't disturb the children and go to a nursing home for the elderly.
Finally, the elderly should learn to keep learning new knowledge and keep pace with the times, which will not only make them grow old slowly, but also make their old life wonderful. Look at the elderly who are self-media after retirement in the network. Some people pick up their mobile phones to shoot videos, and some old people do all kinds of manual work and cook. Other old people write their own stories online. No matter what you do, it is a very good thing to have your own hobbies and interests when you are old. While actively exercising, I also enriched my spiritual world. This way, you won't feel all kinds of unhappiness between yourself and your children.
When people are old, there is only one person left. We should live a good life and make ourselves a team. Getting old is also a kind of enjoyment, and it is also a positive and optimistic attitude towards life after they get old.
Don't tie the old-age care with the children, which is not good for anyone and will make you feel wronged when you are old.
end
Thank you for reading and wish you peace and success!
About the author: A retired woman who is luxurious and Zen, loves life, practices Tai Chi with her left hand and writes with her right hand, and enjoys the rest of her life happily!