? The urgent need in human nature is to be affirmed or praised, to boast and praise others. Everything has two sides. People sometimes need to praise, and sometimes they need others to praise. Praise is just like money and sex, because people have a sense of self-esteem and honor, and appropriate praise is needed.
? Praising others is a kind of beauty and goodness. Good things are beautiful, and good things are beautiful. In the eyes of our ancestors, beauty can be seen, praising people is the external embodiment of beauty, and the most direct feeling of ancestors to beauty is to praise others. It is a compliment to the girl in The Book of Songs, saying that she is a gentle and lovely lady and a gentleman.
Boasting is to seek spiritual comfort, or to show confidence, wisdom and realm. Boasting is also a way for ancient literati to get rid of their lack of talent and protect themselves. When their political ambitions are not put into practice, they can express their political ambitions or talents through poetry and boasting.
Praise people first need kindness, and beautiful things are beautiful. A compliment is like a beam of sunshine, which makes people feel warm. Praise is like spring breeze, and no amount of resentment and dark clouds will dissipate in the spring breeze of praise. Praise should be artistic, happy and deserved.
? Praising others is a virtue, an understanding, a discovery and an affirmation of others. Everyone likes to listen to others' praise for themselves, rather than listening to others expose their shortcomings. The "ceremony" in Confucius' "six arts" is a kind of beauty; The Book of Songs is a kind of aesthetics, which has a lot of praise for people.
Praise is an art. Praise from feelings is telling the truth, and there is nothing to be ashamed of. You think others have something to praise. If you want to praise someone deliberately, you can compare his situation that day with that before. In any case, he should be better than before, which is commendable. Praise others is to make them happy. In interpersonal communication, make others happy, and others will make you happy, so that communication will be more harmonious.
Praise is a science. Learning to praise others in diplomacy will make you get more praise. Praise can make interpersonal relations and international relations more harmonious, which is conducive to promoting friendly international exchanges and cooperation. In history, many people changed their fate by praising others.
Why villains always get the appreciation of the emperor is praise. Of course, we don't advocate this kind of praise or flattery, but if it is acceptable to both sides, not used by villains, or both sides are happy, we can still praise people appropriately.
One day, Ji Xiaolan accompanied Emperor Qianlong to visit the Big Buddha Temple. The monarch and ministers saw a big-bellied Maitreya Buddha in the center of the hall, looking at them with a simple smile. Qianlong asked, "Why does this Buddha smile at me?"
Ji Xiaolan replied: "This Put Lolerk smiled at the Buddha." Gan Long asked, "How do you say this?" Ji Xiaolan said: "The Holy One is the reincarnation of Manjusri Bodhisattva. Today's living Buddha, Maitreya Buddha is also a Buddha, so I said that it is a Buddha who laughs when he sees Buddha. " Lao Ji praised others for their first-class level!
? Ganlong asked Ji Xiaolan again, "Ji, Maitreya also smiled at you. What Buddha reincarnated you? " Ji Xiaolan said, "Your Majesty, if the Buddha smiles at the minister, he cannot become a Buddha by laughing at the minister." Ganlong was flattered by this. Ji Xiaolan seldom praises others. This guy is a little crazy. He was the first gifted scholar in the Qing Dynasty. Ji Xiaolan praised Gan Long and people's superb level through praise and counter-praise. Praise is also divided into occasions. If Xiao Shenyang is present or there are other people present, Ji Xiaolan's character will not praise others, because it will be used by villains.
? Praising the leaders of subordinates can meet their spiritual needs, stimulate their potential talents and arouse their enthusiasm. Employees who praise their superiors and colleagues will have a vivid job, improve work efficiency and have more promotion opportunities.
? Xie Lingyun, a famous poet and writer in the Southern and Northern Dynasties, is a very boastful person. On one occasion, Xie Lingyun boasted while drinking: "Since the Wei and Jin Dynasties, there have been literary talents and stones in the world (a unit of capacity, one stone equals ten buckets), among which Cao's value has eight buckets, and I have one bucket. Since ancient times, others have shared a bucket. " Xie Lingyun's confidence in learning is boastful, which is the origin of the idiom "gifted scholar and beautiful woman".
? During the Western Jin Dynasty, Long Hao was not reused and returned to his hometown to live in seclusion. On July 7 every year, when someone is drying clothes, he unbuttons his shirt and exposes his chest to the sun. The villagers were surprised and asked him why he was lying on the ground without drying his clothes. Long Hao said, "I am printing books", which is the origin of the idiom "Know everything". Long Hao is boasting that he is knowledgeable and talented.
? Su Dongpo, a great writer, was demoted three times and praised three times. Every time he writes a poem or an article, he will be demoted once when he is seen by the ministers of the DPRK, because his articles and poems are so good that the ministers are jealous. After being demoted to Hainan Island for the last time, he began to write poems again. After writing the poem, he said to his friends, "You should hide it well, or I will be demoted again if the minister of the DPRK sees it." Su Gong wanted to protect himself by boasting.
Whether praising people or praising people, ancient people are all high-level and artistic.
Zhang Yi said to the king of Chu, "Soft hands, firm skin, collar like salamander, teeth like rhinoceros, and a cicada's head like a moth eyebrow, but you smile skillfully and look forward to it." Master ao ao, my eyes are eager for autumn water and my fingers are peeling onions. I bow my head and go to the dark corner, refusing to make a long-awaited call to you. The eyebrows are far away, the green temples are thick with spring smoke, and the flowers are more than thirteen, and the cardamom is in early February. Adding one point is too long, subtracting one point is too short, the powder is too white, and the vermilion is too red. "This boast is immortal! The king of Chu was insatiable, and his thin waist thought probably originated from Zhang Yi, and it was all Zhang Yi's fault. If modern people praise: "you are beautiful, you are beautiful, you are really sexy, what are you?" ",will be very boring, stay away.
? Zhang Yi went to Chu for money, but the king of Chu didn't value him. He was down and out in Chu. Zhang Yi was about to leave Chu State. Before leaving, she said, "If I come back, what do you need to bring from the State of Jin? For example, the local products there! " The king of Chu directly refused to say, "There are many gold and silver jewelry and ivory rhinoceros horns in China, but there is nothing rare in the State of Jin."
? "The king doesn't like the beauty over there? That's great! How beautiful! Which woman in the state of Jin is not like a fairy? Pink face, snow-white skin, black shiny hair, walking like the wind blowing willows, charming and delicate speech, it is crisp than a bell, as the saying goes, flowers fade, the moon is dim, the cloud is pressing Heng Yue, nepotism is Xiangjiang River ... "Zhang Yi, a woman who praises the state of Jin, is simply a fairy. The king of Chu couldn't even close his mouth and said, "Then stay." . By praising the beauty of the State of Jin, Zhang Yi dug up the first bucket of gold in her life here and began to have the capital to stir up the Warring States.
Yi cheung also deliberately spread the news to the ears of Chu Wang, Nan Hou and Zheng Xiu. Hearing this, the two men were very scared, and quickly sent someone to dredge Zhang Yi, saying, "We heard that Mr. Zhang was ordered by the King of Chu to buy local products in the State of Jin and sent them specially! But don't buy beautiful women back. " Zhang yi made another profit. It's like the judge ate both the plaintiff and the defendant.
? Finally, Zhang Yi said to the king of Chu, I'm leaving. You have to send someone you can trust to see me off. The King of Chu liked the beauties of the State of Jin very much, so he invited his favorite Nanhou and Zheng Xiu to see Zhang Yi off. Zhang Yi immediately said to the king of Chu, "I have never met a more beautiful woman than the two queens of the king of Chu. In the past, I told the king about the beautiful women in the state of Jin, because I had never seen two queens. Now I see them, and they are still beautiful. "
? Hearing this, the king of Chu said, "I know there is no one like my queen in the world, is there?" Then you can stay in Chu. " Zhang Yi soon courted the two queens, and after the South and Zheng Xiu achieved their goals, they were both happy!
? Zhang Yi praised the beauty of the State of Jin and complied with the lust psychology of the King of Chu, which can be seen from his love for Nan Hou and Zheng Xiu. Second, it conforms to the vanity psychology of the king of Chu. Men always hope that the woman they have is the most beautiful in the world. King Chu thinks Nanhou and Zheng Xiu are the most beautiful in the world. The third is to comply with the natural jealousy of the two queens. First satisfy the lust of the king of Chu, then satisfy the vanity of the king of Chu, then satisfy the jealousy of the two queens, praise the beauty of the state of Jin, and gain both fame and fortune.
Su Qin praised others for their high level. When Su Qin first arrived in Chu, he also wanted to stay in Chu, but the king of Chu had no Qin. Su Qin kept chatting with the king of Chu. Every time when it comes to the point, Su Qin plays hard to get, deliberately prevarication in the past, let the king of Chu very worried. After repeated several times, Su Qin saw the fire coming and began to praise the king of Chu: "The grain in Chu is more expensive than jade, and the salary is more expensive than Guangxi. It's rare for a flatterer to go to hell, and the king sees the emperor. " In other words, food in Chu is more precious than pearls and precious jade, and dry wood is more precious than precious firewood. The attendants in charge of receiving me are like ghosts and gods. It is more difficult to see you than to see the Jade Emperor. Comparing the King of Chu to the Emperor of Heaven, the King of Chu suddenly left Su Qin. Su Qin is bragging (satirizing others). Sometimes bragging is more effective than bragging. Anti-boasting, saying this means that, telling the truth, anti-boasting and anti-boasting are the essence of Guiguzi's courtship theory. Su Qin and Zhang Yi are two proud students of Guiguzi, who, with their golden tongue, pandered to all sides: praise, anti-praise, irony, alliance and Lian Heng, which turned the Warring States upside down.
? During the Three Kingdoms period, Kong went to Qishan, hoping to find a coach. Zhang Bao, the son of Zhang Fei, and Guan Xing, the son of Guan Gong, competed for the handsome position. Kong Ming can't make up his mind, so let them both praise his father's contribution. Zhang Bao said: "My father drank a lot of Han Po and was able to repel Cao Cao's soldiers. It was more like taking something out of his bag to release Yan Yan from a million-strong army." Because of stuttering, Guan Xing always wanted to tell the story of his father Guan Gong, but he couldn't tell it. He just stammered, "My father has a long beard. "At this moment, Guan Yu appeared in the clouds and cursed angrily:" Boy, your father broke through five customs, beheaded six generals, fined Wen Chou and beheaded Yan Liang. You don't know how to praise him, but said he had a beard. "
Chairman Mao's art of boasting is superb. "The sky is falling, and my eldest son Luo is standing beside me, so I am very relieved." This is a compliment to Luo Ruiqing. "Five hundred years ago, General Xu Da made the Western Expedition on the second day of his junior year, and won the title of Zhongzhou bravely"; Five hundred years later, the general Xu Guangda made way several times and became famous all over the world. "This is a compliment to General Xu Guangda.
A glib tongue is better than a million teachers. Praise is the best virtue. One thing you can talk about is that you can praise. Praise properly, it is the truth, grasp the temperature; Inappropriate praise, or excessive praise, is nonsense, stealing the world and deceiving the name, which inevitably makes people feel flattering and even makes people laugh their heads off, which is not beautiful!
? Maitreya and Sakyamuni practiced at the same time. Sakyamuni became a Buddha 30 years earlier than Maitreya because he practiced more eulogies. The Confucian doctrine of the mean is mostly praise. In Taoism, praising people is also a philosophy that conforms to natural beauty.
The weakness of human nature-like to be praised, praise brings people closer. Before building a "heart bridge", people need to build a "compliment bridge" and communicate more with compliments. Bring our warm and beautiful language to each other, and the indifference will disappear, and the other party may become our friends. Using the skill of praise can effectively close the psychological distance with others in the process of interpersonal communication, thus quickly generating the desire to communicate with each other, making more and more friends and widening the road.
Desire to be appreciated is the most basic human nature. We should master this wisdom in our daily life and study, which is of great benefit to our development and our chances of success will be more and more. Praise others a lot, which is not harmful but also beneficial to others. It's a good thing. Good things need to be learned and done. Praising people is an art as well as a knowledge.