In the fifty-ninth episode, Baoyu said: "When a girl is unmarried, she is a priceless pearl; After marriage, many bad habits don't know how to change. Although it is a bead, it has no luster. This is a dead bead. As I grow older, I am less and less a bead, but actually a fisheye. "

He divided a woman's life into three stages: before she got married, she got married and got old. Metaphor is also divided into three stages, namely sphere, dead bead and fisheye. Let's call Baoyu's idea "the theory of three changes of women" for the time being. The problem is that women have changed three times in their lives, but they are getting worse. What is this?

Baoyu has his own views on this. He thinks that the reason why girls are more and more unbearable is that they are contaminated with the smell of men.

The seventy-seventh time, Zhou Rui's family and others left the Grand View Garden with Siqi. Zhou Rui's family was furious and said to Siqi, "You are not the deputy lady now. If you don't obey, I will hit you. Don't think that the protection of girls in the past made you consumed. The more you talk, the harder it is to walk. Now I am catering to this little man. What a scandal! " Daughters-in-law threw themselves at each other and went out with Siqi.

Baoyu hated these women, pointing to his hatred, and said, "Strange, strange, when these people marry men, they smell like men. How can they kill more than men?"

He attributed the abomination of these women to the smell of men. The idea first came from his empirical observation. The girls in the Grand View Garden, whether they are masters or maids, are basically pure, kind and beautiful, but these old women are hateful. They are mercenary, they are good at calculating, they are greedy for profits, she has no sympathy, and they only bully the weak.

Baoyu's idea that women's abomination is attributed to men's smell is also in line with his previous theory that "women are pure and men are turbid"

When Baoyu was seven or eight years old, he said, "Daughters are made of water and men are made of mud. When I saw my daughter, I felt refreshed. When I see a man, I feel dirty and smelly. "

Daughter here refers to unmarried girls, not all women.

Where did Baoyu's idea come from? Or from his intuition, from his observation of women around him. He grew up among a group of sisters, including Yuan Chun and Tan Chun, uncles Yingchun and Xichun, and relatives such as Shi Xiangyun, Lin Daiyu and Xue Baochai. These are excellent girls.

And the men around him, but few such excellent people, and his peers Jia Zhen, Jia Lian and so on. They are all unbearable lechers. Uncle Jia She is very old, and the official is not good, so he left a little wife in his room. But his father was too strict with him and pursued the policy of "beating", which led Baoyu to see his father as a mouse sees a cat.

He lacks a positive man role model around him. And people like Jia Yucun, whom his father let him contact, are good at gaining, following the trend and bullying uncle Lu, which makes Baoyu extremely disgusted. Therefore, he expected, "originally, man was born as the spirit of all things, and all the beautiful scenery of mountains, rivers, the sun and the moon was only for his daughter, and the man with a beard was just scum."

02

The daughter is not influenced by the secular world and keeps her purity. Most of the girls in the Grand View Garden are smart, beautiful, naive and kind. Unlike in the secular world, Baoyu cherishes these beautiful qualities of unmarried girls so much that unmarried daughters are priceless pearls.

However, there are exceptions. Baochai has always insisted on persuading Baoyu with career economy, asking him to study current affairs articles, "attach importance to Confucius and Mencius and devote himself to economic methods", "work hard on major foreign affairs" and "focus on serious books" in order to win a good future of fame and fortune.

Baoyu felt uncomfortable at once. He is impolite. No matter how hard Baochai hangs her face, she lifts her feet and leaves.

Once he said angrily, "A clean and white daughter has learned to seek fame and gain and joined the ranks of thieves and ghosts ..."

Baoyu was deviant and unwilling to enter the dirty officialdom and take the road of imperial examination, so he thought Baochai's persuasion was also against her daughter's pure and white nature.

To say who is most in line with "the daughter is flesh and blood made of water" and who is the most priceless jewel, it should be Daiyu. Xiangyun once advised Baoyu, and Baoyu said rudely, "Miss, please sit in another sister's room. I have carefully polluted your economic knowledge here. "

But Xiangyun Baochai didn't persuade him, but he was still very happy and liked them very much. Baoyu works with them in the poetry club and appreciates their talents very much.

Baoyu is like a child who doesn't want to grow up. He doesn't want to go out of the Grand View Garden, and he doesn't want the girls inside to go out of the Grand View Garden. He really wants to keep the innocence and beauty of these girls forever.

Therefore, this book is not only a hymn, but also an elegy of youth.

Those girls still have to get married and leave one by one, and the Grand View Garden will eventually break up.

Unmarried women, they live in a relatively simple self-world and enjoy themselves in a relatively free space. There is no family trivia, no relationship between husband and wife, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and no dispute over the property status of wives and concubines. Some of their characteristics are hidden, only showing the beauty of girls.

Once you get married, you have to face the trivial life of daily necessities, have children, face the chicken feathers of life, and face the complicated situation of the three-tier in-laws in the feudal family, handle the relationship between husband and wife, and calculate each other between wives and concubines. After girlhood, life in the real world is like this.

The life in Grand View Garden is so poetic, isn't it because most of them are unmarried girls?

Jia Mu is a formidable woman, but she groped her way out step by step. No wonder she said Baochai would not be bound by Baoqin. It is not easy for women to get married, or unmarried girls are more free and happy. You shouldn't be so stiff when you should enjoy the freedom before marriage.

Wang Xifeng is family. Is it decent enough? But doesn't she want Zhou Xuan to be in this big family? She must wait on her grandmother for dinner. Every big event, she has to be busy before and after, and she has to serve grandma and Mrs. Wang. In the face of a playboy husband, she has to fight three transgressions and four times.

What is more tragic is that ancient women could not be independent, totally depended on men, and had to have a source of livelihood to survive. Where is the source of life? Ancient women could not go out to work, and it was inevitable to calculate each other.

An important feature of those hateful women that Baoyu hates is mercenary. For example, Chun Yan's menstruation and mother, the older they get, the more they take money seriously. They are not tired. They severely withhold the monthly money of the house manager and others, but they can't control it, but they are frustrated and unsympathetic.

See in the eye is a bit petty, because Ingra wicker, she scolded Chun Yan, and ran after it. What a hateful bitch!

However, when Pinger said that she would drive her out, she complained, "I am a widow and there is no one at home. I just don't have the heart to wait on the girls inside, and I have saved some trouble at home. " "If I go, I have to make a living by myself, and I will inevitably lose my life in the future."

On the one hand, the author wrote about their hatred of fame, on the other hand, he also revealed the reasons why they also look at petty profits.

It seems that it is not easy for a noble or civilian woman to look good all her life.

03

Can a woman have fisheye when she is old? There are exceptions. Granny Liu's family is also poor, and there are times when she can't open the pot. She once endured humiliation and asked the Jia family for relief. But granny Liu is not so hateful.

Therefore, in the final analysis, it is still human nature. Granny Liu is grateful, hardworking, simple, kind and open-minded, and she has honed her tenacious vitality in her bitter life. In the long years, I have accumulated wisdom in dealing with the world and people. So she won the respect of everyone. Baoyu always hates old women, but he respects and sympathizes with Granny Liu.

Granny Liu is old, but she has no fish eyes.

Is a married woman necessarily a dead pearl? There are exceptions. Xiangling and Pinger are both married concubines. But they are still naive, kind and beautiful, so when Pinger was beaten by Wang Xifeng and hid in the Grand View Garden, Baoyu was overjoyed and cut Pinger's makeup once.

Baoyu often regrets that Pinger is Jia Lian's aunt. She doesn't accompany her at ordinary times and can't concentrate on her. Now that he has the opportunity, he wholeheartedly reinvents Pinger. She also sprayed wine on her clothes, ironed them, folded them, washed and hung up her handkerchief.

I thought Pinger had no parents or brothers, and was alone, providing for Jia Lian and his wife. Jia Lian's vulgarity and Xifeng's power, she was considerate and decent, and she was poisoned today. I think this kind of life is thin, even worse than that in Dai Yu. Thought of here, Baoyu shed tears of sympathy.

Xiangling studied poetry, and Baoyu was amazed. Xiangling's pomegranate skirt is dirty. Baoyu was afraid of aunt Xue's scolding, so he asked Aaron to bring a new skirt and put it on Xiangling.

Beautiful women like Xiangling and Pinger are also cherished by Baoyu. They should also belong to the orb, not the dead one.

Some people say that Baoyu worships girls, but in essence he advocates girls' innocence, kindness and beauty, and stays away from mercenary, calculating and dirty.

Bing Xin said that if there were no women in the world, the world would lose at least five tenths of truth, six tenths of goodness and seven tenths of beauty.

Baoyu's worship of girls is essentially a worship of truth, goodness and beauty.

Even in modern society, it is not easy for a woman to stay beautiful all her life. The most important thing is to cultivate your mind and not lose the truth, goodness and beauty.

Middle-aged women have to face the pressure of life, the pressure of work and the triviality of life. If you can still have a good temperament, you can be good to your child and good to your husband. With a stable source of income, there is no need to be greedy and calculating. It has its own charm, so you don't have to fight against Rainbow Xifeng. It's wonderful that middle-aged women can live like this. If it goes on like this, it will either become a dead bead or a fisheye.

If you continue to study and study while cultivating your mind, keep pace with the times and cultivate yourself with art, you can live gracefully.

If you can become more and more wise with the years' experience, it will be an invaluable pearl forever. The charm of mature women and the wisdom of wise old people are even more priceless than young girls.