In love, I once loved someone to the lowest point and almost lost myself. In order to cater to his eyes, I try to be what he likes.
With him, I try to be a quiet girl, because my ex-boyfriend likes well-behaved girls and doesn't eat even if he is hungry at night, for fear that he will dislike him if he is out of shape.
Listen to him, I prefer girls who can do housework. Originally, I used video to learn to cook without getting wet in spring. Once I was burned by lampblack, I asked him for comfort, but I was all thumbs.
At that time, I was very tired and stupid. I always thought that I had not changed to the height he liked, but I refused to admit that the other person just didn't like me.
Until I went out shopping with him once and met a slim girl. He taught me how to learn from others' weak willows and elegant steps. At that moment, I suddenly realized that he never cared about my feelings, nor did he consider the harm that his careless words brought me.
I still remember wearing inappropriate high heels that day, and my heels were blistered. I tried to keep up with him.
Never thought, but his eyes stayed on the scenery elsewhere.
Standing in the street, I let go and still accused me of all kinds of mistakes. At that moment, I suddenly realized that he didn't love me. It turns out that this love is just your own wishful thinking, directing and acting.
It took me a long time to get out after I broke up with him. After a long time, friends around me said, "That's just like you, careless and in line with your personality."
And I don't have to whisper anymore, and I don't have to be afraid in front of another person. I can finally be myself and get another love without disguise.
02
A person really likes you and doesn't care about his habits, looks and figure at all, because people who love you will naturally love you.
I once watched an emotional program in Tu Lei, where a girl proposed to a boy she had liked for two months and said a lot of things that she was willing to change for him. As long as she makes the other person happy, the girl is willing to accompany him to do what he wants to do, be his little assistant, help him carry his suitcase and change himself for him, but even so, the boy did not promise to get along with her and turned away.
At this time, a person who has secretly loved her for five years appeared and said this to her who failed in confession: "You like playing games, keeping fit, singing and reading. I can tolerate all your preferences because I know you. You don't have to hide it from me, because I like you. "
Such warm heart and sincere confession finally touched the girl and decided to take the first step of love with him.
It turns out that in front of people who really like you, you don't need any disguise. Don't pretend to be sensible, and don't pretend to be strong. He cherishes and loves all of you. The person who really loves you will accept you for who you really are, and he likes every aspect of you.
In front of people who don't like you, all your efforts to please you are redundant in front of people who don't love you.
03
There is nothing wrong with loving someone, but it is wrong to give up your world for love.
In real life, we can often see many people lose themselves in love in order to cater to each other. When they fall in love with someone, they will willingly devote all their time and experience to please others, even at the expense of gambling everything for each other.
There are many girls who love to use their brains and often wronged themselves and helped others. Boyfriend didn't like being ugly, so he went to face-lift and cut his face. Face-lifting is still abandoned after failure: the object casually says "too fat" and then blindly loses weight, resulting in physical damage;
In feelings, you are distressed by the humble appearance of love, but you can't touch someone who doesn't care about you. If he really loves you, he won't let you make fun of your health.
If you don't even love yourself, you will fall into self-doubt, deny your own value and fall into a situation of self-pity. In love, you will become more humble, and the other person will often be more handy when he hurts you again and again.
So you stumbled in your feelings, experienced the pain of being abandoned, and felt the despair of being rejected by your loved ones. Only then did I understand the biggest truth in feelings, that is, it is more important to love yourself, and never love others.
As Mo Luoa once said, "People like a woman not because of what she says, but because they love her."
Be yourself, don't change yourself easily to please someone. For a person who doesn't like you, your change is meaningless to him. Sacrificing for him is just the beginning of abandoning you.
People who really love you will never belittle you, let alone abandon you, but make you feel that you are very good and worthy of being loved.
Just be yourself, and people who love you will naturally love you!
Rouran
Born in Chinese Department, she is an emotional columnist. I would like to be a woman with a fragrant soul and be your safe haven. I look forward to being with you.