Jiang Xiaoyan: Why should I keep Fu Lei's ashes?
Yu Kaiwei's note: The strange girl in Jiangnan is still alive today. Both Fu Lei Biography and Fu Lei Biography Editor's Essay written by Mr. Jin Mei talked about a young strange girl who took great risks to collect Mr. Fu Lei's ashes, and at the same time stood up and wrote a book to rehabilitate her and even cause great disaster, expressing her heartfelt respect. But this strange woman has been indifferent to fame and fortune for decades, clear and white. I've been anonymous for a long time. Little is known about the details of her righteous act, and her real name has not been made public. It's really a pity. 1At the end of 997, Mr. Fu Min, the second son of Mr. Fu Lei, wrote to tell people that she went to Shanghai to look for this benefactor after meeting her brother Mr. Fu Cong, and this benefactor was Ms. Jiang Xiaoyan who worked in the Academy of Fine Arts of Shanghai University. The letter talked about his meeting with Jiang Xiaoyan and asked me to contact her. At the beginning of this year, Ms. Jiang wrote me a long letter, in which she described in detail her experience of collecting Mr. Fu Lei's ashes and asking for trouble with a calm and down-to-earth attitude, and corrected some misinformation, which made people excited and sighed. With Ms. Jiang's consent, this letter is published in the corner of the bookstore for readers, to show off and to enlighten future generations. Mr. Yu Kaiwei: Hello! Thank you for sending me the biography of Fu Lei. I'm sorry for your late reply! I'm retired, and I don't go to school much except for going to some extracurricular classes occasionally. The student has returned to China some time ago and has no classes recently. I went to the school doctor's office due to illness these days and learned that there was an email from the doorman. You flatter me in your article. When I did this, I didn't expect that history would develop to this day, and I dared to imagine that what I did could be praised by people. Because this matter has been reported many times, it is different in some aspects. I really want to tell you the truth, and I hope I can get your generous permission to reprint it. First, although I was 29 years old at that time, I was not a "miss". I was just an unemployed youth who graduated from high school, and I was still a student. This point is very important in the Fu Lei incident, and I will repeat it later. As for why 19 can't go to college and work after graduating from high school, see the final supplement. I was arrested after 1967, June 2 1 Sunday evening 10 (for me, the "trial" was a whole day the next day). When I arrived at my destination, a person in charge first set a tone for me: he saw that I was not eighteen or nineteen years old and said, "You have entered the society and can be responsible for all your actions." "But the man didn't expect me to answer like this:" I haven't stepped into the society, I haven't worked, and I have been at home since I graduated from high school ... so I am still a student. He didn't reply immediately, but I seem to realize from this question and answer that "not stepping into society" is a favorable premise for me. So I tried my best to set a tone for myself: I am a simple-minded, simple-minded girl who doesn't understand politics and loves art (I was born in an unknown painter's family, and I learned calligraphy and painting from my father and some pianos ...), almost like a bookworm. Not that I'm acting, pretending, not at all! I was in the same situation at that time. Of course, I didn't tell them that at the age of 19, I did something extremely unfavorable to me on the "Rightists" issue. They will think that I am ... here, I might as well give a small example in the "trial" to illustrate how I convinced them of the innocence of a 29-year-old man. They asked me, "Fu Lei is a current counter-revolutionary, do you know?" I said, "I don't think so, although I haven't seen Fu Lei. However, when I was a child, I always read books such as New Youth Daily. The counter-revolutionaries in the book all wore sunglasses and caps, poisoned well water and put explosives into big machines to do damage. So, did Fu Lei do such a thing? " They were speechless and couldn't answer anything. Looking back on it today, I feel very lucky because I met the master in the factory. I think it is difficult to find a real high school student among those who "interrogate" me. Many people seem to have never even attended junior high school. This is my intuition. So many questions are often asked and answered by them, but now they can't find anything deeper to refute me. I once asked them, "is it immoral to collect ashes and bury them?" "? " The reason why I highlight the word "wicked" is precisely because I know that workers in China have always had the virtues of loyalty and kindness. I try to impress their hearts from this aspect and try to stay away from "politics". I also mentioned that my father once bought five donated coffins among neighbors and arranged all the funerals for incompetent neighbors (with the help of the church, my father was a Christian). I told them these facts with my own eyes, which can only explain one thing: "I was born in such a family and was influenced by my family." Therefore, it is not surprising to collect ashes for others, not to mention for political purposes. I noticed that my remarks caused some repercussions in the hearts of these workers. This can be felt in their faces and eyes. Because of my series of answers, and I haven't worked or stepped into the society, they gave me a "fixed nature" and played a great role. Second, I'm not in jail. Later, I learned that although I was "interrogated" by workers and militia. First of all, the garrison headquarters is close behind. It is said that this matter was originally handled as a major case. So the first level "interrogation" is very important. Whether I am "imprisoned" depends entirely on my conclusion after the first level of "interrogation". From the above, their impression of me determines that I will not be taken to a more "advanced" place. At that time, I was held in the militia barracks of Zheng Tai Rubber Factory. Around the male militia dormitory, there is only a small empty room, which is specially used for those who are arrested, such as capitalist roaders, four types of elements and so on. I am in this small room. Under the historical reality at that time, all the larger units had such "private prisons", so from a certain perspective, I finally "entered a prison". In addition, from the essence of the matter, it can be considered that they have been detained and "questioned". The reason why I put forward this second point is to distinguish it from the prison in the present sense. If it was not the workers who arrested me at that time, but the teachers and students of the Conservatory of Music, I would be locked in a room of the Conservatory of Music for "interrogation"; Or other cultural units will arrest me, then, Mr. Yu, it is very likely that this person may not exist today. Because people in this unit will strip my roots layer by layer from the exhaustion of thought and consciousness. No matter how I show my simplicity, I am a young bookworm or something, and I can't escape their sharp political attacks. When I open my mouth, I can't compete with the mouths of a group of educated and ignorant people. Today, I want to say something from my own experience: the working class is really pure and kind. Third, in Fu Lei's case, I will be oppressed psychologically and spiritually in the future, not under specific circumstances. My predicament is caused by the fact that I am nineteen years old (see below). Don't think it will always be so windy and rainy, no! The real "interrogation" scene, which makes me feel humiliated, is not without it. How can you say that you were a "prisoner"? And it is a "prisoner" of major cases! It's just that with the passage of time and the progress of the question and answer, the tone gradually becomes anodyne. Of course, there is no need to repeat the whole process of the trial at that time today. In short, due to my own efforts, my gentle attitude and gentle whisper (this is my true colors, not affectation), at the end of the whole day's trial, I finally gradually saw their more relaxed faces and peaceful tone. But just when I thought it was relaxing, the hosts' faces suddenly became extremely fierce, and their eyes showed an extremely cold and sharp expression, looking straight at me without saying a word! I was stunned by this sudden change and worried that the situation might not be alleviated. Of course, my brain has been thinking. Why? It suddenly occurred to me that Soviet anti-director dzerzhinsky often said to prisoners when interrogating them: "Look at me! Look into my eyes! " If he really does something that is sorry for the country and the nation, if he is really guilty, it is often unbearable for his sharp eyes. At that time, the working class controlled everything and often tried all kinds of people: the capitalist roaders ... so they could not be unaware of Jergens's psychological method of bullying others. As soon as I think about this, I think that if my analysis is correct, then this is the last "dish" for them to deal with me. I must do the same: look him in the eye with my eyes, and I must not repent in my heart: "Do you think I look like a criminal?" Just looking at each other. At that time, I really felt that time had solidified and I didn't go. Why is it so long? Teacher Yu, my analysis is not bad at all. They did use Jeter's method. Just when he suddenly dressed up as an evil face, he suddenly put away this fierce look and returned to the eyes of his originally harmless workmates. Moreover, I actually saw a sentence in the eyes of the main interrogator: "This young girl is really honest and kind to people, but her mind is a little simple and she can get to the bottom of it ... There is no political background to instruct her what to do ..." The main interrogator later said to me: "You are such a person! It's really simple and complicated. You are very loyal ... more polite than us. " At this point, I know that the trial is coming to an end, and I may go home. Although I asked them, don't tell me about it in my alley and the police station (in this way, I'm finished); But when I get home, as soon as I hear the horn of the car (there is a big alley that can accommodate all kinds of cars under the window of my building), my heart will jump wildly, because when I was arrested, I left home by car. Or, if the household registration police look at me, I will stay up all night, fearing that my case will be known by the police station. After so many years, the psychological pressure is too great, and it suddenly accelerates from time to time. Finally, I had to go to that factory again, find the person who was mainly interrogating me at that time and tell him that I was in a hurry all day. At this rate, I'm afraid my spirit will collapse. Seeing my fear, the man said, "I promised you that I wouldn't go to the police station in your alley to reflect it ..." He once again showed the true face of the working class, and his eyes no longer had the look of dzerzhinsky ... But with the change of history at that time, the workers' propaganda team came to power again, and groups of people came to power, and the contents of political movements were different again and again. I'm afraid that the person in charge of this matter will step down. Will there be earth-shaking changes in that factory, which will indirectly affect my future destiny ... In short, I rehabilitated Fu Lei in the annual report from1June 22, 967 to 1982, and I spent 14 or 15 years in an extremely nervous state of mind. This is the impact of the Fu Lei incident on me. One thing I don't understand is that ashes were the second thing I did at that time. My initial motivation was to write a letter to Zhou Enlai, the State Council, reflecting the experience of the following people, because at that time, several people I contacted all embarked on the road of suicide, and Fu Lei was one of them. In order to write this letter, I learned in the process of understanding the situation that Fu Lei's ashes were not collected, so I had an idea: if no one collected them, I would accept them for their relatives under an alias and give them to their relatives for safekeeping. So, the person who handled this matter immediately wrote this letter from the king, hoping that the Prime Minister would take charge of this situation (I am naive, right! ), who knows, it is this appeal that leads to such a big case. Otherwise, no one will know who I am just by secretly collecting other people's ashes. But now people are talking about "collecting ashes" instead of my appeal letter for others, which seems to me to be putting the cart before the horse. Here I want to mention to you that although I made every effort to avoid further harm, it was Jesus Christ, the God I trusted since I was a child, who really helped me out of this disaster. On the night of my arrest, of course I realized that this was my do or die. I stayed up all night, kneeling on the ground and calling for God. Pray that God can secretly control my trial tomorrow and keep it away from political purposes. I just want to be a young bookworm, an art lover and a simple-minded person ... and pray that God will give me wisdom so that every word I answer can prove me. Even in prayer, one scene after another appears in my mind, and the dialogue over and over again is like rehearsing tomorrow's trial step by step according to the script. Of course, this is all based on my personal design and my own wishes. Thank God, tomorrow, the main aspects of the trial will be exactly as I imagined at night! ! ! And my inner peace and calm, soft appearance, but also the strength given by God is supporting me! I even prayed to God that it would be better not to detain me for more than a whole day (24 hours), because a long time would arouse the suspicion of my neighbors. Once things fell into the hands of Ryan's cadres ... Sure enough, I was escorted home by them in about 24 hours, and I promised not to report to my alley police station. God listened to all my entreaties. Only God can see into a person's heart. God knows that everything I do is not a crime or a bad thing. There is a saying in our Bible: "... God calls us to do all kinds of good deeds." Today, since there is such an opportunity to communicate with you in language, I sincerely hope that you will also trust this real, living and unique creator of the universe. You might as well study the Bible carefully. Now there are many facts and many reports to prove that what is recorded in the Bible is true! If you really seek this God, it is not easy to believe that he is the savior of your personal soul, and you will certainly find him, because the Bible says, "... whoever seeks will be found by him; Whoever knocks at the door will open it for him. "A few years ago, Mr. Ye Yonglie came to see me and talked with him orally about the disposal process of the ashes, but the letter was far from detailed, and I didn't use words to talk about it. It's the first time to say so much to a friend I've never met. You see, the three points I listed have made some corrections to your article. Do you mind? The responsibility is not on you, because some content is not obtained from me after all. I have only one thought: let everything remain the same. So, I wrote so much. I remember, and I didn't write anything to the Fu family. It's unnecessary. Since I can complain about their bad luck, of course, I can turn a blind eye to their growing family voices today, which are often two sides of the same story. Look at this ever-changing world If we can't solve the problem of the ownership of the soul, then no matter how high the name is, no matter how big the money is, it will be empty! Ok, now let me retell my story when I was nineteen, because it is related to the third point mentioned above. 1958 I got a job in July. I am nineteen years old and will graduate from Shanghai No.1 Middle School. But on Friday, an important event happened that affected my life. (