Pairing: It is a way for Miao young men and women to fall in love and talk about marriage. Every year from the first day to the fifth day, Miao people celebrate Huashan Festival. Young Miao men and women sing and dance with each other, and those who find the object are called "pairs". On the last day of Huashan Festival, the strung-up "pairing" decided privately for life and went home to tell their parents.
Proposal: After the young man told his parents about the object he had found, the man asked the matchmaker to propose to the woman's house after 37 days.
Engagement: The matchmaker takes the corresponding items to the woman's house as a meeting gift, and after reaching an agreement with the woman's parents on the marriage, the wedding date is determined, which generally does not exceed half a year.
Marriage: After the wedding date is determined, the woman prepares her own dowry and waits for marriage.
Second, about "getting married".
"Getting married" is also called "grabbing marriage", "dragging sisters" and "grabbing sisters". This forced and importunate marriage custom has not adapted to modern civilized society and has been gradually eliminated.
Miao boys meet Miao girls on the road. If the girl is attracted, whether the girl likes it or not, the young man can take the girl back to his home, propose to the matchmaker within three to seven days, and hold a wedding reception on the wedding day. The girls have been the young man's wives since the day they were robbed.
Third, about "recognizing marriage".
In Miao village, the whole village knows which family has children. The father or mother who gave birth to a son ran to the door of another house when giving birth to a child in a neighbor's house. If the neighbor's house is a "girl", he will say loudly, "My son admits it!" "From then on, two children is equivalent to admit the engagement. When the little girl was three years old, she was raised by the man and grew up with the boy. Until she was eighteen years old, the two sides got married, held a wedding banquet, and gave her a "meeting gift" to recognize her friends.
Fourth, about "marriage".
The marriage customs of Miao people in Nayong county are more common and more complicated than their marriage, including four processes: marriage proposal, engagement, engagement and marriage.
Marriage proposal: Miao youth get to know each other through social activities such as "Flower Mountain", "Rushing to the Street", meeting, going up and down the mountain, and then fall in love. Once love is mature, it will naturally attract parents, and the man's family will ask the matchmaker to accompany the young man's uncle to bring wine to the woman's house to propose marriage. If the woman is interested, she will immediately drink and say "yes" and invite the matchmaker to discuss the gift money, wedding date, dowry and so on. Gift money includes valuable silver, milk money, excrement cloth, wine, meat and so on.
Appointment: If the woman's family is willing to marry the man, according to the date agreed at the time of marriage, the man's family will send the pig to the woman's family, and the woman's family will invite her to dinner to complete the "appointment", that is, engagement.
Wedding: If the man wants to invite his wife, the matchmaker must go to the woman's house two months in advance to discuss the reservation, and the woman's house will hold a banquet to decide the wedding date.
Wedding ceremony: the man's family chooses an auspicious day, and the matchmaker informs the woman's family to prepare for a new life two days ago. On the wedding day, the young man's uncle picked two chickens in a birdcage, brought gifts of silver, led the groom, accompanied Lang and a happy couple, picked two young men at noon, and accompanied by a matchmaker, went to the woman's house to get married. After staying at the bride's house for one night, the groom's uncle gave the gift money to the bride's uncle and his parents. The next day, my uncle sent a chicken to the woman's house and brought it back, thinking that the bride had a soul, and took the bride to the man's house from generation to generation. At this time, nine people from the woman's family and relatives were sent to the man's house and left after noon. Arrived at the door of the man's house, stopped the door and set three seats, one for pig liver, one for pig, one for tofu and one for cigarette. In the farewell room, the couple is on the left and the matchmaker is on the right. After dinner, they enter the room, sit in the main hall and entertain guests with tea. After visiting the church, all the people and a couple will be greeted and a grand handover ceremony will be held. The handover ceremony will be sung by the "elders" of both sides in the form of duets to express their wishes. After singing, the bride was officially handed over to the man's house. In the evening, a bonfire is lit indoors, and friends and people who greet relatives sit around the bonfire, talking about the usual duets or solos and having fun. Only those who see the bride and groom off are not allowed to leave without permission. We must stay with them until dawn and send them away after breakfast.
Huimen: Miao nationality; There is no limit to the date of return visit, and it should be carried out before delivery. On this day, the man's parents or brother and sister-in-law handle brown sugar. A liter of fried noodles and two pounds of white wine led the couple to the woman's house. Stay with the girl for a few days. The woman's house is carrying her daughter's waist, and the son-in-law's shoes and hats go to the man's house to recognize the door. After being entertained by the man's family, they have been coming and going since then.
The Miao people's worship ceremony is presided over by the groom and the accompanying Lang, and the bride does not attend. The rule is that elders sit in the middle and peers sit around. The groom and the accompanying lang bowed and toasted in turn according to their age, and sat down for dinner after the ceremony.
Miao widows can remarry, but if the married children want to change their father's surname, they must get the permission of their ex-husband and give a chicken as a ceremony to change their surname.