The key to the problem of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law lies in their different modes of thinking and life. If you can't put yourself in each other's shoes and understand each other as much as possible, then the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is bound to become very tense.
Xiao Chun never thought that one day, her beloved things would be so "spoiled" by her mother-in-law.
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Xiao Chun is the only child in the family, and her parents always spoil her. Xiao Chun likes shopping very much because he earns money by himself.
My parents tried to persuade me, but later gave up. I think I'll buy it. My daughter's happiness is the most important. Making more money is a big deal.
Xiao Chun hasn't changed this "bad habit" since she got married.
Husband also knows that Xiaochun has a shopping desire, which is nothing more than buying some cosmetics, beautiful clothes and fashionable bags. A wife with a monthly salary of 1000 will spend all her money. Her husband was worried that Xiao Chunhua didn't have enough money and wanted to give her some money as pocket money, but Xiao Chun refused.
Xiao Chun said, "Honey, my own salary is enough. You don't have to give me money. "
The husband wants to persuade his wife to buy less things every month. Later, he found that his wife's shopping was no longer limited to his own belongings, but he was still a little happy and wanted her to spend it.
The husband pursues a "truth": a woman's wardrobe is always missing a dress. The same is true for other items.
Women seem to have a natural desire to shop. If not, it is probably because of poverty. So many beautiful things in the world are tailored for women's psychology. You can spend more money, but don't waste it. If you don't have money, you can save some to pave the way for a better life in the future.
02
My mother-in-law who is far away from home came to live at home for a month, and when she saw her daughter-in-law's lifestyle, she couldn't understand it at all.
In her mother-in-law's eyes, Xiao Chun just doesn't keep house and wastes.
Xiao Chun comes home from work every day, and almost always comes in with a courier. During the break, I will go shopping with my friends and come back with big bags.
Xiao Chun happily shared her spring clothes with her mother-in-law. After the mother-in-law saw the tag, an ordinary floral dress actually cost 1000 yuan, and her mother-in-law was instantly angry.
Mother-in-law said, "Is this how my son lost all his money to you?"
Xiao Chun said, "I spent my own money. I can afford it myself. "
My mother-in-law went to the master bedroom and looked at the clothes and trousers that Xiao Chun had bought before. When the price was similar, she became angry.
A week later, Xiao Chun came back with a courier. After unpacking, a "sweeping robot" cleans the house, and then another package is a dress.
As a mother-in-law, I have experienced ups and downs in my life, and I can't help reminding my son and daughter-in-law of their "wasteful" behavior. Reminder and accusation are two completely different concepts. Mother-in-law should know that the premise of reminding is not interference, but that the accusation is from the heart and from the bones that she has done something wrong and needs to be changed! Almost everyone doesn't like to hear "blame"
03
When she learned that this dress was 860 yuan, her mother-in-law couldn't bear it. She picked up the scissors on the table, went to her daughter-in-law's wardrobe, and cut several holes in the last floral dress of 1000 yuan.
Xiao Chun didn't stop her. She just doesn't understand why her mother-in-law is so angry and disrespectful. Xiao Chun, who had never been so wronged, suddenly shed tears. Her face was distressed by the skirt, and she felt wronged for herself.
Mother-in-law said, "It's good to have enough clothes. Buying so many messy things is a waste of money. " . What I did today is to make you remember. "
Xiao Chun didn't respond, didn't eat dinner, took his torn skirt and waited for her husband to come back.
As soon as her husband entered the door, her mother said in front of Xiao Chun that it was not economical for her daughter-in-law to lose her family. Xiao Chun threw her torn clothes to her husband and looked at her tearfully. When her husband looked at the clothes, he immediately understood what had happened. He wants to do something.
He only said one word to his mother: Mom, this is my home with Xiao Chun. It's not your turn to tell me what to do. If you don't want to stay at my house, I'll send you away! We will pay the pension monthly! You say yours, we say ours! Eliminate the river!
Mother immediately sat on the ground: You are an unfilial son, and you married your daughter-in-law and forgot your mother. ...
It is almost impossible for a mother-in-law to interfere in her son's marriage life without making conflicts. Every couple has their own way of life. Maybe you don't like it, maybe you think it's wrong, but you have to let the couple solve it themselves. If you put a knife in the middle, it will not only destroy the relationship between husband and wife, but also deepen the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
The author's words:
Many mothers-in-law will worry about their daughter-in-law's behavior, and many daughters-in-law will be upset about their mother-in-law's behavior. In fact, both of them are well-intentioned, but two different ideas and lifestyles collide.
Different thoughts, different thinking problems, different life and different ways to deal with problems. Between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, hold hands and don't interfere with each other too much, so many problems can be avoided.
You can say something you don't like, but you can't do it. The extreme practice of cutting clothes with scissors like Xiao Chun's mother-in-law will make men stand in the middle in a dilemma.
But men should also understand that when there is a problem in the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, if they stand by and watch, it will accelerate the contradiction. No matter how difficult the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, as a man, you can't think about escaping.
This story also tells us:
1, children and grandchildren have their own children and grandchildren, and elders should not interfere in the lives of younger generations.
It is normal that two generations have different consumption views. If the elders don't like the consumption view of the younger generation, they can stop at once, and there is no need to kill them all. After all, even if you talk too much and even force them to divorce, their consumption view is still the same. The concept of consumption is rooted in living habits, and it cannot be cut off with a few scissors.
2. Women don't need to embarrass women, and mother-in-law doesn't need to embarrass daughter-in-law.
You know, when a mother-in-law embarrasses her daughter-in-law, it is equivalent to embarrassing her son and embarrassing herself. Finally, if a son protects his wife, you will feel that his son has married his wife and forgotten his mother. In the end, your mother-in-law may be the saddest.