A general discussion on women's sense of security and independence When a woman is stripped naked for the first time, she retreats one by one until she appears naked in front of you. Do you know how much courage she needs? This courage is not so much expectation as love, the love of water under the bridge! When she is completely exposed to you without any cover, instead of staring at herself, she wants you to hug her family. This is the instinctive reaction of a woman's innate sense of security: I would rather "enjoy" this warmth and tenderness together than "appreciate" her private parts from a distance with strange eyes. If you are tired and don't want to hug her and sleep with your back to her, a woman will sleep with her back to you, and she won't sleep well on a back that is not a "safe haven". Therefore, as long as you hold her to sleep in the future, she can sleep quietly all night. (1) In love life, women need a sense of security more, and almost all men with security are listed as the first choice. A sense of security is a psychological need to be respected, loved, pitied and valued, which can make her feel at ease at present. They like the truth and take pains to ask a man's heart many times. In question and answer, she can confirm her own safety factor for this man and be satisfied with a sense of security that can be repeatedly "confirmed" by asking questions. The gender characteristics of women themselves determine that women are always in a sense of insecurity. This gender characteristic stems from the concept of despising women in feudal traditional society for thousands of years, as well as the low status of women and the oppression of men for a long time. Men can't control their own destiny and need to rely on it. Therefore, making men feel safe is the primary condition for many women to find a partner, which follows the long-standing delicate and helpless personality characteristics of women. A few years ago, when the stock market was running to 4000 points, someone did a survey. When asked about vague information, such as many economists and stock critics think that the stock market will reach 6,000 points, 8,000 points or even 1000 points, whether it will enhance their investment confidence or enhance their risk awareness, 90% of women gave the former a negative answer, while only 58% of men gave the latter a positive answer. Obviously, women are more risk-averse, more cautious about uncertainty and more secure than men. Therefore, most female stock speculators often leave their bags for safety; Most men are indomitable and want to die quickly. Security is a psychological need, so it is more casual. Different people have different safety supports at different times and different occasions: for example, when walking, they like to pay attention to whether men hug themselves or hug themselves when it is cold; Did you protect her safely and block her when crossing the road? When chatting, do you listen with relish or are you still absent-minded When I sleep, I am very willing to sleep with a man, not because he knows her very well, or even if he will sleep alone. These are all things that women care about and care about. It's about safety. Therefore, women are gentle and coquetry in front of you or in their arms, mostly seeking a psychological sense of security. She needs a man's coaxing and love; Sometimes when a woman is in a bad mood, she wants you to give more compromises so that she can find a sense of security that is valued, forgiven and cared for. In fact, the sense of security of both sides lies in the degree of true love and trust and mutual understanding. Men should give women a sense of security and security; Women should also understand men's efforts and efforts, as long as he has this sincerity. If you care about the difference between thoughts, you may lose not only your sense of security, but also all of yourself. Sometimes, we tend to ignore the long-term and only consider the immediate interests. So, if you love your woman, please give her a hug, convey your sense of security to her with your sincere and powerful hug, and refuse indifference, turn around and ignore. Women are emotional animals, and women need men to convey a sense of security appropriately. Because once a woman really loves, once she feels that she has lost the person she loves, it means losing her sense of security and the whole world. (2) If a woman's sense of security is only expressed by being held to sleep, this sense of security seems somewhat abstract. To be clear, women are more dependent on emotions than men. Even after economic independence, they still want to rely on men emotionally, which seems to make them feel safe. But if you are not economically independent, your emotional dependence will be even greater. This involves the relationship between women's economic independence and security. As a woman, the man who gives you money may not love you, but the man who is reluctant to give you money certainly does not love you. To a great extent, money is the touchstone of love. Therefore, when women don't really get this reliable emotion, they will consciously or unconsciously (depending on their independence) use money to measure the existence of love. I'm sure you just used this way to test how much he loves you at first. But in the end, sometimes you will "play" too much, which is another matter. Let the bullet fly for a while. You always tell yourself this in your heart, which leads to the taste of love. A woman who is financially dependent may choose a rich man to marry, rather than a man who loves her ordinary situation. Regardless of whether this person has texture and potential, just like the black horse stock, a blue-chip stock in the stock market, the potential white horse stock is unreliable. No wonder this is her consideration of "safety", even if it is one-sided. Similarly, economically independent women are often reluctant to marry rich people and are willing to love an ordinary man with a sense of security. Even if the rich people now dote on her in every way, it is because she is worried that once she succeeds, she will be ignored and eventually dumped, and it is also because the rich people often have this fickle custom and capital. Women with different financial independence have different psychological requirements for security (some people who are too independent are not even used to being held to sleep), but their psychological and emotional needs are the same, such as warm physical contact, such as sweet talk and care, such as the thoughtfulness of spending money for her, which are all security exported from the perspective of men; There are also some feminine and changeable security seeking, which are often ignored or even misunderstood by men. For example, women like true feelings and need true feelings. If you play too deeply, it will make her feel helpless. In the past, women thought that men's coolness was beauty and security, and they pursued the cold and deep Japanese movie star Gao Cangjian. Later, I found that this kind of affection made me unacceptable; Later, women like men to be romantic and extravagant. They first pursue the love of Feng Zhi, Feng Mi and Korean style, then they pursue the love of big and small (big S Wang Xiaofei), even rich people like Xu Jinheng. But being too romantic and profligate can also make people feel dreamlike guilt and gradually lose their sense of security. It seems snobbish that modern women choose men because they have a house. In fact, this is exactly what women are worried about the fragility of marriage today. Today's times are sad and pathetic. Marriage is so fragile that everyone is as sensitive as an animal and automatically grows a protective shell. If a woman doesn't let go of a man's blood, ensure her necessary living standard and social status, tie up a man's heart with material conditions such as a house, and take it as a common view against the outside world, I'm afraid her sense of security will be completely a mirage. Therefore, the more you appreciate the heartfelt smiles of two people who really love each other in classical dramas, the more you will find that the expressions at the wedding banquet are somewhat false and stiff. So why can't modern women maintain their spiritual independence with material security? (3) Perhaps the era of chasing Gao Cangjian and Xu Jinheng has passed, and the promulgation of the new marriage law has also changed the concept of chasing the rich second generation. Now more women like mature and steady men, which is also a sign of women's maturity and the pursuit of spiritual independence. A mature man has a personality, which, like a woman's elegant temperament, can bring enough attraction to the opposite sex. As long as he is mature enough, he will have enough sense of responsibility. If a man has a sense of responsibility, he will not change his mind easily, can tolerate you and give you a sense of security, then a woman will gain considerable psychological independence. With the deepening of social impetuousness, such men seem to be less and less; And this kind of maturity, generosity and spiritual independence is also pursued by more and more women. Now there are so many women in developed countries who dare to live together with men for a long time without registration. The number should be not small (at least I know two pairs). Rather, they are more willing to believe in love or be more confident. Actually, this is the spiritual independence of modern women. And women in China generally dare not. In fact, if a woman really gets a paper marriage from a man, can she feel safe? This is really beyond the comprehension of many women. If a woman wants to live a happy life, she can't be based on a man, otherwise there will be no love if she finds a bachelor. Without women's spiritual independence, it should be very difficult to blindly attach to men's economic status and have a depressed mood. You see on TV that many parents are against their children's other half being "poor" and hitting Yuanyang; But can you really have love with rich people? The sense of security that a man gives you does not come from his profligacy. If he is unstable, no matter how much money he has, he will change and become nothing. A divorce case was tried the day before yesterday. Before the divorce, the man transferred all his property, the house was changed to his brother's name, and the deposit was also transferred to his family account. The woman even lost her hard-earned money to support her family, which is almost equivalent to sleeping on the street. Therefore, a woman's sense of security is really not a man's status and money, but his mature and steady quality, which makes you feel very practical when lying in his arms and makes you feel that you really have an independent personality in spirit, that is, real spiritual independence. Of course, he will also have many shortcomings, but it seems that all the shortcomings will be diluted because of his maturity and stability. If rich men are petty, they like to confront women in everything. When a woman meets such a man, it is like falling into an ice cave. What diamond ring, house, car, and money may be buried with marriage? In your spiritual world, where can you get independence and security? Of course, it is another matter to know a rich man with quality, affection and talent. At least he must have considerable capital himself. This capital does not refer to economic independence, but to his spiritual independence, the so-called "door to door". Generally speaking, this "right match" depends on whether you have the right mentality on the one hand, and whether the rich people have the quality that matches you on the other hand (in fact, your mentality also determines your quality, and almost all of them are "right match"). This kind of matching is very important, not the face of money, but the relative independence of spirit. A woman's own thoughts are immature, just a woman who likes to listen to good words, and naturally she is easy to be used by some men. Relative independence means that at least mentally, two people can be basically equal. You are pure and beautiful, pursuing spiritual independence, and I believe that the man you are looking for will not have no taste; Only in this case, even if we can't go on together, I believe that a man with taste will not treat you badly. So many times, most of us can't beat ourselves, escape from this "fit for each other" and blindly deviate from the pursuit of security. What women are most afraid of is not loving the wrong person, but not being able to walk out of the wrong place and correctly understand the meaning of spiritual independence; If you are the one, if this "sincerity" is directed at the word "money", it will probably not have a good result! (4) Isn't there a saying that eating someone's mouth is soft and taking someone soft? Even between boyfriend and girlfriend, between husband and wife. Palm up, take other people's money must be three points shorter. If you want to be equal, it is definitely rare, except that two people have true love, and it is a special case. Therefore, women must spend their own money; If you are happy, you can also spend money on men, which is not only a sense of security, but also an independent sense of accomplishment. Therefore, from a woman's point of view, a woman's best state is that she can support herself completely, without relying on men to spend money or even support herself. Even without him, she will live well. But I hope a man can still pay voluntarily, not because he wants to support her, but because he cares about her and loves her, and he is willing to pay. -This is the worst situation for women! In this sense, economic independence is the foundation and indispensable material pillar of spiritual independence; On the other hand, spiritual independence is an advanced stage of economic independence, and spiritual independence is more important than economic independence! With spiritual independence, you will soon find the "sense of security" you want to see. Hard work and diligence, mutual trust and respect, self-discipline, self-esteem and self-kindness will become the safe landscape of life and love, and economic independence will be guaranteed. On the whole, everything is a cloud. As a man, nothing is as real and important as giving each other a sense of security. Don't give your woman a sense of security, even if you have a thousand words, even punctuation will be wrong. As a woman, it is best to be an independent person first, and then a happy and sweet woman! In other words, women spend their own money and feel that they are better; It feels better to spend a man's money and be a little woman; Not only spend your own money, but also men voluntarily spend money for you, which is the feeling of a petty bourgeoisie woman with independent personality; When two people spend their own money, they can voluntarily and appropriately spend money for each other. This feeling is not entirely a question of economic independence. In addition to a feeling of pure beauty, it can also interpret the supreme state of "love is supreme" that doesn't care about everything. A woman should be a tree, growing in the sun, broadening her horizons, nourishing the rain and dew, and always maintaining poetry. So, who else will make you feel insecure? The gentleness of Chyi Chin outside.