I'm not the only one who feels this difference. Shenyang people around me went to Anshan to attend the wedding and encountered similar embarrassment. Many people come back to vomit, and Anshan people are too simple and rude to adapt to the ceremony. In fact, it is not the patent of Anshan people to write accounts with courtesy. I understand that other cities in Liaoning also have such customs, but I don't know where they are. (Welcome other netizens to add)
There are often complicated reasons behind the emergence of a social custom. Once established rules are formed, it often takes a long time to change. It's hard to say who is good or bad, who is advanced or who is backward. After all, the wedding is a happy event, and money expresses the blessings of relatives and friends. However, there is an interesting question. After Anshan people finished their accounts and watched the wedding celebration, many people left because of something, so when the bride and groom came out to propose a toast, they found that many tables were empty, which was quite embarrassing. But on the other hand, it is estimated that many Shenyang people sitting on the wine table will also say to themselves, "When will you come and propose a toast?"
In fact, I care more about how much is appropriate than how to follow the crowd. After all, the salary is so bad, and I have attended several weddings, so I can only swear to be a vegetarian all October.
One place, one custom, ten winds and nine differences.
Take Longnan, Gansu as an example. It is popular to write an account:
First, inherit the tradition. Anyone attending the wedding, regardless of family distance, must be accompanied by members (gifts) to attend the ceremony. In the past, this was divided into two types: one was "Congratulations". In the early days, the wine cannons were complete, but later they only focused on wine cannons and money. In the case of relatives and friends at the bottom, the courtesy is heavier; The other is the "market". Ordinary people generally only spend money, no alcohol cannons and so on. Congratulations is very different from the market, but one thing is the same: to "make a decent face" and grow up.
The second is to facilitate "reciprocity." Every wedding venue has a special "ceremony room", which contains materials, money and bookkeeping. They supervise each other and have a clear division of labor. Welcome visitors at any time, remember all the money and things in the gift book clearly, and even ignore the firecrackers. As the saying goes, "one is human feelings, and the other is debt." When it comes to human feelings, it sells pots. " Why is this? Give back "love" to others later.
Red envelopes have only become popular in recent years, only in some wedding places, which can be said to be a new trend of the times.
The benefits of red envelopes with red envelopes:
First, it is simple and easy. Put the money in the red envelope, and tourists will have less trouble waiting for the ceremony.
Second, avoid embarrassment. More money and less money, tourists don't know each other, and the scene is beautiful.
Isn't it a bit of a mountain out of a molehill to link this matter with culture?
If it must be linked to culture, it can be said that from a long time ago to now, China has the tradition of "following the crowd" when going to other people's homes for weddings and other banquets.
It's just that there were more attachments in the past. Now, with the development of society, people's money is no longer so tight, and they don't know how to live (people don't lack anything), so they gradually evolved into direct spending. China culture is a little ashamed to give money, so it has a name "Sui Fenzi".
When I was young, in the 1980s, I went to eat with a few catties of wheat on my back.
As mentioned in the question, "followers" have different forms.
What looks better, of course, is the red envelope. In China culture, red has been a symbol of happiness since ancient times. Prosperity, red ... these words will make people feel happy when they come out.
Red envelopes are no exception.
It is a happy event for relatives and friends to get married. Being invited is a kindness. After exchanging greetings, everyone is naturally happy with a red envelope.
Simple and direct, just a little money. Although it is rare, there are still some: it is superfluous to pay some money directly today, and it is convenient to put a credit card machine on the spot!
Guess one day you will see such news: a big QR code is posted at the wedding scene, and the code is scanned for payment.
Some money has a slight deficiency: all the money goes into one account. So, who ordered how much? Who ordered more and who ordered less? It's hard to distinguish
If there is a problem, there is a solution: bookkeeping.
In fact, red envelopes are also occupied. Although the amount will not be written on the surface of the red envelope, the person who gives the red envelope will not even omit his name, or go home and wait for his ears to get hot.
The host will draw a circle behind you and curse you.
Since there must be a name on the red envelope, and the red envelope is sealed, the bride and groom will definitely open the red envelope for bookkeeping at some point in the Spring Festival Evening.
Although it is different from on-site bookkeeping, it is essential to keep an account behind it.
The reason is simple-there is an enduring custom in China culture about interpersonal communication: don't be rude when you come. I got married today and received a red envelope from someone else. I will definitely give it back to others if there is a happy event at home tomorrow.
It is human nature to give and take.
Don't think that sometimes the person who gives money doesn't intend to return, and the person who receives money doesn't intend to return, but the person who gives money just stares at the bigger return.
What did you say?/Sorry?
In Shenbei New District, they are also wedding personnel, some are red envelopes, and some are registered accounts. This is because the intention of red envelopes and writing accounts is different, not the same thing. This is what I learned recently:
Usually writing a gift account is a voucher to record the attached documents. Gift account is the foundation, the basis for some owners to post, and the reference for gifts and money of both parties.
And the privacy of red envelopes, some can avoid the embarrassment of relatives and friends comparing. In addition, there are extra backups on the basis of writing a gift account to show the progressive relationship, mostly for the love of immediate family members and girlfriends, and the second time to show special care. In other words, give Dong Jia two money, one for public account and the other for private red envelope.
Some also have one-time gifts to save trouble and facilitate communication with the host. (the general public and ordinary people keep accounts, and give red envelopes in some special circumstances. )
The custom of following the ceremony varies from place to place. I am now in Shenbei New District, and the custom of following the ceremony in Puhe Village is like this.
Honey, what's your present there? If there is any difference, please leave a message in the comments section.
This has happened to me. Sometimes I go to the cashier directly with the gift money, and some give out red envelopes. I need to write my own name and number. The host family directly receives red envelopes and then goes home to open an account.
What I have experienced is that ordinary people's homes are full of accounts, weddings and funerals, accounts, receipts and things. After checking the accounts and receipts, give them to the owner.
Where's the red envelope? At first, banquets were restricted by giving red envelopes and accepting gifts. For example, officials, those who are not allowed to hold banquets in a big way according to national policies, are supervised by the Commission for Discipline Inspection, and the accounts are audited or the gifts are confiscated at any time.
Many years ago, I first saw a banquet without a cashier. It was a school banquet hosted by the son of a public official. He gave a red envelope, wrote down his name and the amount of the gift, and gave it to the person designated to receive the red envelope. He can avoid inspection at any time, he won't worry, and he won't confiscate gifts.
The banquet was entrusted to others that day, and the host of the party was not present. Everyone who attended the meeting was tacitly aware.
Later, the situation of sending red envelopes and receiving gifts increased. I can't see the account table at the scene, so I may not violate the rules and can't catch the present.
These are the products of policies and countermeasures. Where I am, people hold banquets, and there are no red envelopes to write gifts. Poor people don't receive many gifts, and they don't have the strength to exceed the limit. They are not afraid to check.
Later, a powerful banquet was distributed, and today it is a classmate, 10 table; Three days later, relatives and friends, 20 tables; Five days later, my colleague, 15 table.
Even if there are 100 desks, the office cannot do without one. No accounting statements, no mass entertainment, no red envelopes. This is a common phenomenon. Take into account national laws without losing personal interests. The wisdom of China people has always been watertight.
Maybe big cities are pursuing fashion and playing elegance now? Red envelopes are very common.
This is just a habit. With the progress of the times, people basically like to wrap red envelopes. However, in many places, people still pay for a letter. After all, Qian Shengqian is a process of mutual exchange. All I know is that there are as many gifts as yours, and my family will return them in the future. If your family is rich, you will add a little gift. Therefore, it is more intuitive to pay and write accounts, and the host family has to open accounts at night.
Let me answer this question!
Whether you write an account or send a red envelope, the host family will eventually write an account.
In fact, most places have written accounts, but some places or people still use red envelopes.
Why use a red envelope? One: it saves the time of hanging gifts, and guests can sit down quickly without waiting; Two: the red envelope can't see much money, leave a face for the guests and don't compare; Third, some public officials take red envelopes privately; Fourth, save the cost of writing gifts, and you won't be wrong.
Red envelopes are so convenient, so why do you insist on writing accounts?
One: seemingly formal, there has been a tradition of writing gifts since ancient times. In ancient times, it was generally seen on the spot;
Two: write the time of the ceremony, so that the host family can know who will come and who will not, and it is also convenient for them to say hello to relatives and friends.
Three: writing gifts can effectively prevent the loss of gifts (of course, it is no problem for bosom friends to receive red envelopes)
Different ways, the same blessing, we don't care.
Regional culture is different.
This has been the case in Shenyang in recent years. Will prepare some gift accounts and red envelopes. When toasting, you will write your name on the red envelope, otherwise it will be in vain. There is also the custom of writing gift accounts in rural areas. Watching TV dramas, such as doing things in the Republic of China, people will shout out when giving money to things. So-and-so is also a contest of financial resources. Anyway, in the end, who uses how much money to make a statistic. Another reason is that in the past, marriages were arranged by parents, and gifts were also given to parents. But now there are more classmates and colleagues, and many of them are directly married. If you still write the gift account, your classmates and colleagues don't know who to give it to, but it's easy to give the red envelope directly to the bride and groom or to your parents.
This problem is sometimes due to different regional customs, and sometimes for personal convenience.
Most traditional weddings write gift accounts, but in recent years, there are also many red envelopes. Because giving red envelopes is relatively private, there are many similar relationships between relatives and friends attending the wedding. In order to avoid the embarrassment of the bright side, red envelopes are sometimes used instead. Big red envelopes are afraid of others' embarrassment, while small red envelopes are worried about themselves.
Until the banquet is over, the host will not read the gift account and the red envelope. Individuals who wrap red envelopes will write their own names on the red envelopes, which will not affect the owner's record of the amount in the ledger.
For example, if you owe your host a favor, you want to pay it back by giving gifts, visiting relatives and friends, and wrapping a red envelope is more appropriate: respect others. Don't be abrupt.
Between brothers and sisters, but also between relatives and friends, in the case of disagreement, there are more cases of wrapping red envelopes. The situation of wrapping red envelopes is quite popular in Shenyang, China, and is regarded as a fashion trend. In fact, I prefer to give members red envelopes, and I don't influence anyone at will. Write your name in a red envelope and give it to the owner at any time. You don't have to go to the person who keeps the gift account, count the money in public, and then report the amount of your name. Sometimes you have to ask in detail how to write your name. Because there are many people at the wedding, some people have similar names, and the people who remember the gift account are all people trusted by the host, and they are also afraid of making mistakes.
I am more optimistic about giving out red envelopes, which is convenient and saves trouble, benefiting others and benefiting themselves.