Li Li, secretary-general of the Provincial Marriage and Family Research Association, said that the changes in people's views on marriage and love in recent years are mainly manifested in the following aspects: from a formal point of view, the privatization and autonomy of marriage and love have been greatly enhanced. Organizations and units gradually withdraw from many private life fields, including marriage and love. Marriage does not need to be approved by the organization, and divorce does not need the organization's responsibility. People choose the standards and requirements of marriage and love, and are more inclined to make their own decisions. First of all, it is reflected in the increasingly diversified ways of choosing a spouse. Since the reform and opening up, the single way of organization introduction and matchmaker matching has been changed, and many ways of choosing a spouse, such as matchmaking agencies, media blind date and group blind date, have appeared in society one after another, and group weddings have become all the rage. In recent years, young people have "cast a wide net and focused on training" through online channels, and there are not a few young people who have become attached to marriage through the Internet. Secondly, with the rapid development of social economy and the continuous improvement of people's living standards, the wedding form has also developed from simple and simple to lively, complicated and luxurious. From 1990, the first professional wedding company appeared in China. Up to now, professional wedding companies have been overwhelming, and wedding planning has also developed in a professional direction. Thirdly, it is the diversity and instability of marriage and love combinations, and the divorce rate is rising rapidly.
In terms of content, the change in the concept of marriage and love is first reflected in the fact that the criteria for choosing a spouse are more rational and realistic than before. Before the reform and opening-up, China society was largely dominated by political stratification. Therefore, young people pay great attention to each other's political conditions when choosing objects. In 1980s, the urgent demand for knowledge in the four modernizations made the society re-recognize the status of knowledge and intellectuals. When women choose a spouse, intellectuals are placed in a higher position, and cultural factors rise to the first place in the criteria for choosing a spouse. After the 1990s, the pragmatic tendency in women's concept of mate selection became more and more serious. While considering the emotional factors of both parties, the realistic factors such as the other party's economic income, material conditions, education level, professional reputation and appearance have become important reference conditions that cannot be avoided when choosing a spouse. Secondly, the concept of sex is greatly open. Sexual topics are no longer shameful, and sexual harmony has become an important indicator to measure the happiness of marriage and family. In order to pursue physical or psychological satisfaction, many people often say that "the red flag at home does not fall, and the colorful flags outside the home are fluttering." In addition to being a husband and wife in the family, they are also lovers, sexual partners of others, and even one person has multiple lovers. Thirdly, the consciousness of sacrifice, dedication, tolerance and accommodation between husband and wife is weakening. On the contrary, it emphasizes equality, mutual love, respect and independence between two family members.
He Wei, director of the Provincial Marriage and Family Research Association, believes that the changes in people's views on marriage and love are also reflected in their views on fertility and divorce. She said that the concept of fertility of husband and wife has now shown the characteristics of progress. "Filial piety has three sons, and no offspring is the biggest" has always been the traditional concept of fertility that dominates China society. It is believed that only boys can carry on the family line and raise children to prevent old age, so the consciousness of "son preference" is more serious. With modern women becoming more and more independent and self-reliant, people's concept of fertility is gradually improving. According to a survey conducted in six major cities in China, when asked whether they want boys or girls in the future, most young people's answers are the same. It can be seen that the traditional concepts of "carrying on the family line" and "preferring sons over daughters" are gradually fading away, and even some groups are more willing to be "dinks" because of work pressure and economic pressure. At the same time, young people's concept of divorce is also undergoing tremendous changes. Young couples generally expose the problem of fragile marriage, and the phenomenon of "flash away" is prominent. As for the attitude towards divorce, the concept of "together is together, but not together is separated" is gradually recognized by people. Faced with the choice of marriage, influenced by China's increasingly mature socialization, the world marriage trend and their own economic status, occupation and education level, they have higher requirements for self-development and enjoyment of life, so they pay more attention to the quality of marriage than the length of marriage.
To sum up, these changes are the lack of long-term stability of marriage and love, and marriage and family are no longer once and for all. In these changes, form and content are mutually causal, intertwined and inseparable.
In this climate, how to learn to maintain the harmony and stability of marriage and love is not only related to personal happiness index, but also affects the stability of social environment. Li Li believes that the responsibility of modern marriage and family is not enough to emphasize mutual loyalty, but should emphasize the responsibility of managing emotions. Many people's marriage and love relationships are not harmonious, mainly because they can't handle marriage and family relationships scientifically. Once cracks appear, their ability to save themselves and repair their marriage relationship is not enough. She warned those who have entered marriage that they should firmly grasp the following five principles when managing their marriage feelings: equality, understanding, communication, growth and morality. For young men and women who are in love, she advises them to stay in love for as long as possible and communicate with their hearts instead of their bodies. Sexual life should be experienced during marriage, otherwise, it will take a long time to have sexual relations, which will easily affect the correct understanding of each other. Entering marriage is very dangerous, and impulsiveness is bound to be punished.
He Yashu appealed that while the traditional concept of marriage and love is facing challenges and the new moral concept of marriage and love is still in the formation stage, we should seize the opportunity and take targeted measures to guide the younger generation to establish a correct concept of marriage and love. With the help of various media, we should widely spread noble spiritual concepts and moral norms, correctly guide the values of marriage and love, and create a good social public opinion environment for young people to fall in love freely and get married independently. In view of the phenomenon of biased sexual morality and chaotic views on marriage and love among Chinese teenagers in recent years, we should devote ourselves to the cultivation of such characters as "respect", "responsibility" and "moderation" in their views on marriage and love, so that they can correctly understand the social responsibility and social norms of marriage and love, guide teenagers to strengthen their inner self-moral cultivation, and make their views on marriage and love develop in the right direction.