When I proposed to marry my husband, many people, including my parents, strongly opposed it. Because my husband's family is in a remote rural area at the junction of Liaoning and Mongolia, he is not only poor, but also has many relatives at home. I am an only child in a big city, and my work and family conditions are good. But I still insist on marrying him because he is an excellent man and sincere to me. I think since I love him, I can't escape the problem. When I encounter difficulties, I will face them together and tide over the difficulties together.
On the wedding day, I had a friction with him. Because my home is far from theirs, I will do it once at my mother's house and once at my husband's house. When we got married at our parents' house, we went to church. The wedding was quite solemn, and friends and relatives gave us sincere wishes with generous gifts. When I went to their home for the wedding, I was an eye-opener: they set 20 tables of banquets, all for relatives. There are also many relatives in their family, with a gift of 50 yuan, and all five people in the family come to dinner. Moreover, men fight for wine while eating, and when they get drunk, they go crazy at the wedding banquet. I just stood there. How can it be like a wedding? This is a farce!
My husband has many brothers and sisters, but he didn't come to our wedding because of busy farming. I can't be kind to them inside. Especially the elder sister-in-law, some of her practices are really embarrassing. My husband is a lawyer and works as a legal adviser in a company. Sister-in-law not only has to tell her husband everything herself, but also publicly said in the village that my brother is an able person, and he can play a bad lawsuit, and he will win if something happens. As a result, the villagers struggled for inheritance and refused to return the bride price, which was found by their husbands. The relatives of the seven aunts and eight aunts also came to make trouble, and the hotline at home continued all day. During the Chinese New Year, I accompanied my husband back to my hometown. We are usually very busy at work, so we don't go shopping, and we are going to give our children some lucky money directly. As a result, after we gave the lucky money, the elder sister actually smiled with her three-year-old niece and said, "What good things did your uncle bring you back in Beijing?" Give it once more. Do you worship? "The little niece bit her nails and cried crisply," Goodbye! "My husband and I were embarrassed and went out after a few words. We searched all over the village, but we didn't find a shop, only two canteens. I can't help it. I took a two-hour bus ride with my husband to a nearby city, and then bought a bunch of gifts, which made my bones fall apart.
My husband's second brother doesn't have that much to do. He only asked us one thing: to borrow money. Buying fertilizer, building a house, paying for children's schooling ... are all from my husband, and I will live for at least half a month as soon as I come. Borrowing money is forbearing, but it's really hard to put such a big man in our small house of 50 square meters, not to mention that we just got married and have to live alone!
This situation only lasted for a year, and I decisively stopped it. My dissatisfaction is accumulating, and if I can't find a solution, it will definitely affect our relationship. So, I found my husband and discussed the solution with him. Although my husband is a responsible man, he is not the kind of ignorant and conservative man, which is also an important reason why I dare to marry him. In fact, he has long been disgusted with the demands of his family, but he just can't pull his face down and say it.
I sincerely said to my husband, "We must support your parents, which is an obligation as a child. I have absolutely no opinion on this and will fully support it. " But your brother and sister are different. They are adults and have their own families. We can't pass on all their life pressures to us. Let's carry them. I think two principles should be determined: one is to help the poor; The second is to do what you can, you can't lend all your money to your relatives, and you won't have money to raise children in the future. "
My husband thought for a moment and nodded, but he said awkwardly, "Hey, I know they went too far, but I'm really embarrassed to say." When I saw him waver, I immediately said, "This is easy to handle. You be a good person and I'll be a bad wife. You can put the blame on me. " My husband listened with a grain of salt, so we agreed that in half a year's time, if I could get rid of the troubles of my relatives in the countryside and not fall out with them, then I would be fully responsible for handling "diplomatic" matters; Otherwise, I must fully cooperate with my husband's relief cause, so I can't make a revolution with him. We signed an agreement to give 10,000 yuan to help our relatives within six months, and we won't borrow anything beyond this amount.
Shortly after signing the agreement, my second brother came to see you again. As soon as they met, he said, "Your sister-in-law said that raising cows is especially profitable now. Can you lend us 8 thousand yuan to turn around? " This time, my husband said nothing. He turned to me and said, "I don't care about this." She is in charge of money in our family. " I smiled and said to my second brother, "second brother, raising cattle is a good thing." However, I want to ask, have you found a place to raise cattle? Do you know how to mix feed? What is the level of veterinarians in the village ... "After this pile of words, my second brother was shocked. It took me a long time to say, "I haven't had time to think about this ..." I said quietly, "I have to think about it. Besides, how many cows are kept in the village? Are you ahead or behind? How many customers can you tap? How is the operation of the nearby dairy factory? Do you like their milk? Then you collect all the information and tell me, and I'll write you a plan. If it suits you and your sister-in-law, I'll give you 4000 yuan, not to lend it to you, but to become a shareholder. We raise cattle together, and the money we get is divided equally, and the money we lose is divided equally. what do you think? "The second brother didn't live in my house this time, so he hurried back the next day. A week later, my second brother and second sister-in-law promised to cooperate with me. Because of this cow, my brother and sister-in-law are busy day and night and have no time to come to my house. And I just use Beijing's rich information resources to give them some technical support when necessary. I have studied marketing for four years, and I always remember this sentence: "Give people a fish and a meal; Teach people to fish and benefit for life. "
After solving the problem of my second brother, I began to transform the structure of the room. The original two bedrooms were changed into a bedroom and a living room. The original bed in the living room was demolished and replaced with an old sofa found in a second-hand market. People will creak when they sit on it. I also set a long coffee table in front of the sofa. After everything was ready, I warmly invited my mother-in-law to live at home in Beijing. My husband and I let my mother-in-law live in our only bedroom as soon as she arrived. My mother-in-law looked left and right, and then asked doubtfully, "There is only one bed in your house. I sleep in the bed. Where do you sleep? " I quickly said, "Mom, don't worry, we can make the floor in the living room and the sofa can sleep alone!" " "My mother-in-law can only reluctantly agree.
In fact, the long coffee table occupies almost all the space on the ground. Husband can only curl up on the ground to sleep, and when he turns around, he will bump into the foot of the coffee table and make a "bang" muffled sound; I was in close contact with the sofa all night, and when I hugged and rolled, I made intermittent "creaking" and "creaking" sounds. The next day, the depressed mother-in-law yawned, fondled her husband's forehead affectionately and sighed: "Hey, why is the house in Beijing so small?" Even worse than the bungalow I live in? "I took the opportunity to complain in front of my mother-in-law:" Mom, you don't know! People think it's beautiful that we live in Beijing, but in fact, life is quite tight. On the surface, the two of us earn thousands of dollars a month, but we have to pay back 2500 yuan of mortgage every month. The price in Beijing is so expensive that the food in the supermarket is simply outrageous. Unlike our hometown, we grow our own vegetables, which are nutritious and cost nothing! We also want a big house, but where can we afford it? "Hearing this, the mother-in-law shook her husband's hand and said regretfully," Oh, I didn't expect you to be so sad! In the future, I will tell people in my hometown not to come to stay with you, but to stay in a hotel! Look at your swollen head, really! "While my mother-in-law didn't pay attention, my husband pointed at the bag on his head and stared at me. I pretended not to see it.
Apart from the troubles of relatives in rural areas, my husband and I have different living environments and different consumption concepts since childhood. What impressed me the most was that I spent more than 400 yuan on a pure cotton skirt of ESPRI. My husband heard my proposal and opened his mouth wide enough to put an ostrich egg in it! Seeing his appearance, I was shocked and wondered what had happened to me. Although he is not used to me buying brands, fortunately, he did not stop me rudely, but patiently communicated with me. In the middle of the night, he hugged me and talked. When I learned that every spring, pigs haven't come down after eating vegetables, and they can only eat salted eggs three times a day for two months in a row, my nose is sore. I really feel sorry for him, and even think it is a sin to live such a luxurious life before! He is only three years older than me, but he has suffered so much! I can understand his feelings. After such a hard life, I naturally feel reluctant to spend money. So I also began to restrain myself, no longer focused on the brand, and every dress was controlled within 200 yuan. Under my influence, my husband gradually became generous and cheerful. On Valentine's Day, he also spent 168 to buy me a necklace with a stone record, which made me happy for a long time.
We now set aside 10,000 yuan for my husband's relatives every year, including 3,000 yuan for my mother-in-law's pension, 2,000 yuan for my second brother to raise cattle, and the remaining 5,000 yuan for my relatives' children to go to school. My husband and I have reached an understanding that we don't have to help others, but our children must help them when they go to school, because only knowledge can change their destiny. We even want to set up a scholarship in our hometown to help our children make progress when they have money in the future. Now, in addition to giving lucky money to my mother-in-law, I no longer prepare red envelopes, but bring back a bunch of small gifts to my children every time. Even if my sister says "once, once", I'm not afraid. I have prepared enough gifts for every child to worship me six or seven times!
Not only did I save money, but I was not scolded by my relatives for being stingy behind my back. Husband laughs so hard that he can't even see his eyes. He obediently gave me "diplomatic power" with his love.
Many people choose the right person, but if they just fall in love with someone with a rural background, can they only give up helplessly? I think it's better to be mentally prepared first, then win the support of my husband and mother-in-law to meet the challenge and try to break them one by one. As long as you are witty and brave, then happiness is in your own hands.