I read an article on the Internet the other day. A 96-year-old girl just got married and filed for divorce from her husband.

The reason is that married life is full of fireworks, without the passion before marriage, she feels that it is not interesting at all, so she simply returns to being single.

At that time, I thought this 96-year-old girl was really headstrong and free and easy. If I were you, I don't think I would have the courage to divorce. Because from the beginning, I entered the marriage with the feeling of spending the rest of my life with someone. I'm really not the kind of person who can let go when he says let go.

Love is sublime to me. Marriage is sacred to me.

It's hard to imagine divorce without passion, so what is long-term companionship?

In order to find out the answer to this question, I specially invited some young single girls out for tea.

Beibei in 1995 told me that she actually didn't want to get married, but just wanted to fall in love.

"I always feel that no man will love me forever, and I always feel that marriage is unreliable. I'm afraid to pin my life on another person. Only work makes me feel safe. You can fall in love, but you can't get married. "

1993, An Ling agreed. She said that she once thought about not having children because she felt that she was still a child and could not bear the responsibility of raising children.

"Love is a matter of two people, and marriage is a matter of two families. Having a baby is a mess. I don't want to be out of shape and look fat, and I don't want to be trapped in the struggle between my mother-in-law and my daughter-in-law all day long, and I don't have my own life. "

"So, you think love is more meaningful than marriage?"

"yes."

"Is that why you don't want to get married?"

"yes."

02

I don't know how many girls, like Beibei and An Ling, long for a true relationship, but are afraid of marriage.

Whenever people around you ask, "Why aren't you married?" You just smiled awkwardly and walked away angrily.

Actually, what I think is-I want to get married, too, but can I be happy after marriage?

No one can give an answer to this question.

I have experienced love and being loved, betrayal, simplicity and innocence, but people will change.

Once your heart is given to the wrong person, you will start to worry that you will never meet anyone who can make you move again, that the step you take with courage will fall into the trap of the other person, and that even if you do get married in the end, there will be many bad things.

You were scared, really scared, so you built yourself a thick wall to protect yourself.

It is said that marriage is a woman's second reincarnation, so can't it be reborn? Can we not gamble for once? Maybe, if you don't gamble, you won't lose. You think so in your heart.

In love, no one is at ease. No one can clap his chest and say, I will always be with this person. Therefore, our hearts are full of doubts.

On the other hand, we look forward to it. Looking forward to having someone with us forever. No matter what happens, he won't leave or run away.

Such an expectant and timid mood always binds our hearts and makes us contradictory, tangled, confused and painful.

Because of this, there are more and more singles, more and more breakups and even more divorces.

In the final analysis, it is inner insecurity.

03

In the TV series "Beishangguang still believes in love", the wedding planning played by Zhu once said:

"Some people live in China, where the country is peaceful, the climate is pleasant and the specialties are rich, but they don't want to get married. Why are you? In my opinion, apart from physical reasons, there is only one word left: fear.

Afraid of unhappy marriage.

Afraid that marriage won't last.

Fear of the third party in marriage.

One of the fears I despise most is that people will know that I can't find a partner at all and pretend to be single there. "

Fear of marriage has really become a common problem of modern people.

I once chatted with an 89-year-old single girls. She has also worked as a self-media, but self-media is only her part-time job. She has a job in the system, which is relaxed and stable. She clocks in from nine to five every day, and spends her spare time reading, writing, painting and fitness. She lives a rich life.

When I asked her, "Why are you single? Don't want to get married? " , she said with a sigh:

"Su Yu, do you know how difficult it is to meet a serious marriage partner now? I have been on blind dates for more than 30 times, but I have never met the right person. You say, where is the right person? "

It turned out that she didn't want to get married, but she just didn't want to make do.

"If you ask me, if marriage is the life of two people under the same conditions, I would rather not get married. Why? Because I can live well alone.

The only reason I can get married is that I love that man. Because of love, I am willing to dedicate my life and marry him. Why else would I not want to get married? Is the mobile phone not fun or the wine is not good? "

Yes, the real meaning of marriage may not be as simple as carrying on the family line, but to find a spiritual partner, share joys and sorrows with him, advance hand in hand with the same goal, cultivate the crystallization of love together and pass on love together. This is the meaning of marriage.

04

The famous host Wang Han once said:

Now the average life span of marriage is 1 1 year, but 70% people still choose to get married. Fear of marriage is normal. After all, it's not the age when cars and horses are slow. But obviously, I trust my own judgment, and I believe that I can talk about a love that lasts forever.

I think most people, most of the time, still have yearning for marriage.

I will fantasize that when I was young, I was with someone because of my heart. When I am old, two people can still walk hand in hand in the street and regard each other as the only one in this life.

This feeling is sweet, happy and warm.

However, fantasy is fantasy after all. If you are afraid to try because of various fears, then time will take away all your expectations.

You may be peaceful in the future, but you will be full of regrets when you are old.

It's up to you to be brave once anyway.

I only hope that every affection and persistence will not be disappointed. Everyone who is kind in love can meet another person who is equally kind.

Because only in this way, in the face of marriage, can we let go of ourselves and stop being afraid.