It is the basic form of human existence that men and women combine to form families to reproduce. She nationality in Zhejiang, especially the marriage of Jingning, Yunhe and She nationality, has its own unique style.

1, "two-headed family". When a man and a woman get married, they are all their own homes, walking back and forth, * * * managing the family affairs of the two families, and * * * supporting their parents and elders.

Regarding the historical reasons for the formation of the "two masters", there is a legend among the people: in the early years, there was a pair of young men and women named Lan and Ming Lei in Lingzhi Mountain, Zhangzhou, Fujian Province. They really loved each other, because they were both only children, the woman could not get married and the man could not be redundant, so their marriage wish could not be realized for a long time. One day, he (she) cut firewood with her on the hillside and saw a pair of swallows chirping and playing on the branches, which was both happy and intimate. The man couldn't help sighing: "Swallow, Swallow, we are not as good as you. You can combine freely. We really love each other, but we can't get married because of family drag! " The woman watched the swallows spread their wings and fly, and suddenly smiled and said to the man, "Swallows in pairs, autumn goes and spring comes, and the north and the south are home. Why don't we learn from swallows and have a home at both ends! " A word makes two people smile. In this way, young men and women became husband and wife in the form of two families. After marriage, they got married and lived a good life. Since then, the "two-headed family" has spread among the She people.

For a long time, she nationality men and women have been living in the same place, and not only are they only children, but many children are intermarried, especially in mountainous areas. From the legend, we can see that it is a primitive marriage custom except for women marrying, which is inspired by the nature of "the swallow has a home in the north and south" and takes into account the economic life of two families. Nowadays, in many only-child marriages in society, there are also * * * who manage two family affairs and * * * who support two parents. It can be seen that the "two masters" of the She nationality is an excellent marriage custom with originality and transcendence.

2. marry a man. Marrying a man means that a man marries a woman. Commonly known as "danger" or "longevity". "A Brief History of She Nationality" records: "I like to recruit a son-in-law, but I can be a son-in-law". The woman wants to give the man some bride price and financial gifts. After the man married the woman, he changed his surname to the woman's. Family members are not called "son-in-law", but called parents, brothers and sisters of the bride, as close as flesh and blood. Family status and property inheritance are equally enjoyed without any discrimination. It is completely different from the "adoption" that the local Han people can bring back with gifts at a certain time. 1998 In the spring, we investigated 54 She couples in Pingyanggang Village, Wuxi She Township, Yunhe County. Among them, 22 couples are married (looking for wives), accounting for 40.7% of the total logarithm, 25 couples are married (marrying men), accounting for 46.3%, and 7 couples are married outside. It accounts for 13%, indicating that the phenomenon of she people marrying men accounts for a considerable proportion.

Marrying a man is not only a family with only one daughter, but also a family with many children. It breaks through the old idea that one's son carries on the family line, marries one's son, leaves his daughter at home, and then marries another man to come back as a son. It not only reflects the empathy of the She people, but also reflects the characteristics of social life and marriage customs of the She people, so it is passed down from generation to generation as a national spiritual wealth. Since liberation, some Han men have married into the She nationality, and the custom of marrying men has evolved from early intra-ethnic marriage to ethnic equality, unity and upward vitality.

Second, pleasant manners.

Nowadays, the wedding etiquette popular in She nationality township is colorful, vivid and interesting, and it is a treasure of She nationality's traditional culture. State something today.

1, Zhichilang.

On the day before the wedding, the man was composed of plenipotentiaries, mainly one person opposite to the singer "Chi Lang" (called "Feng Ke" in Chinese), several people opposite to the singer "Chi Lang" (called "Xing Lang" in Chinese) and matchmakers. (The total number should be even) Form a wedding team and bring gifts to welcome the wedding. When I walked to the bride's door, I was stopped by a group of women sitting on a bench with cedar thorns. The matchmaker should set off firecrackers and give red envelopes. Chilang carefully picked the thorns away, and the woman took the gift so that she could step into the threshold. Commonly known as "Zhihonglang". If there is a roadblock, signal that you want to sing this song at night.

According to Jingning She people, blocking the road with thorns means that the woman's folk songs are as sharp as thorns. If there are no folk songs, you can't enter the house. If you have prepared folk songs, please pay a red envelope before entering the house and pick your own thorns. Yunhe She people said: She people hold gifts as sticks, which is a mockery of the woman's excessive gift giving, so we should stop the red tide and see if there is any "ridicule" on the stick. If there is, we will be fined "wine for sticks". Legend has it that there was a young Chilang who, when he was a beginner, knew that the other party had violated the bar customs, but he was afraid of being punished for being drunk. However, it takes more than 20 miles to walk to the bride's house with a gift pole, so you don't have to touch the stick for fear of falling. He thought about it, removed the bamboo joints with small bamboo, and left a bite of bamboo on it to stick. When I arrived at the bride's house, I was really punished for the bar. His left hand pressed the stick to hold the gift giver, and his right hand took the wine poured by the girls and drank a bowl. Afraid of getting drunk again, he poured the later wine into the mouth of the bamboo stick and said to himself, "stick, stick, this stick should be yours to drink." Drink, drink! " While muttering to himself, he poured wine into the bamboo stick, which caused everyone to laugh. This matter has been passed down as a much-told story.

2. nave, another name for "Snail Picking".

When Chilang enters the bride's house, he should stand respectfully at the small head (right) of the room and the hostess at the big head (left). Then the host and Chilang across the hall walked to the front at the same time, bowed to heaven and earth side by side, turned inward to salute Xiang, and then they bowed face to face. No matter to the sky, the incense or the face-to-face, the master always stands at the big head, and Chilang stands at the small head. The two of them climb each other's shoulders and dance like courtesy. Then all the people who greeted the wedding, as well as those who greeted the host, turned to salute. After the ceremony, the matchmaker asked the host to stand on the top, and checked the gifts such as "a mouse and a tail" and "uncle's shoes" on the table and submitted them to the host. Commonly known as "picking up snails".

She people are used to using argot, which outsiders don't understand. The phrase "a mouse with a tail" refers to two things. "A mouse" refers to a piece of cloth, and "a tail" refers to a piece of gauze, which is a gift given by a son-in-law to his mother-in-law.

3. borrow a pot.

Red waves bring wine to the bride's house, and the woman will eat the wedding banquet sent by the man that night. Chilang's cooking, cooking stoves and tableware have to be borrowed from the woman, which is called "borrowing pots".

After lunch, Chilang stood respectfully in front of the stove, lighting two candles, a bag of noodles, a preserved chicken and a knife of pork, with a pair of leggings wrapped around his feet. A group of women stood behind the stove, and the kitchen was crowded with people.

Noodles packed in barrels and pots indicate deep affection and friendship between generations of marriage, commonly known as "long noodles, long relatives." The chicken is clean, but there are three chicken feathers on its wings and tail, which means "preserved chicken" and is a first-class famous dish dedicated to "uncle banquet" The cloth wrapped around the feet is a gift for the woman standing behind the stove to get a bucket and basin.

Red waves raised their buckets to salute and began to sing "Borrow cymbals". The crowd of onlookers deliberately pushed around, and the pool waves were flushed, and the lyrics were always confusing. If there are mistakes and omissions, then recite them from the beginning and recite them four or five times. Although some Chilang are familiar with it, they are not familiar with the ceremony because of their marriage, so they must act according to the custom. Until the woman standing behind the stove answered "reciprocity" and reached for the bucket. Then red waves brush the pot. After cleaning, he put a knife of pork in the bucket into the pot and covered it as soon as possible. It means borrowing a pot. Many women around the kitchen often sprinkle scraps of paper or chaff into the pot when washing it. No matter how many times, the red waves should be washed, so as to play the red waves. In addition, Chilang made a fire in front of the stove. The girls had soaked the firewood, and the fire made them cry, so they had to burn it. More interestingly, Chilang killed the chicken (the chicken was chosen by the man to "please the ancestors", that is, the woman's ancestors told them before they died that the bride had settled in the man and asked them to bless them for life. ), a group of women surrounded him, pushing, bumping, dragging and pulling. If chicken blood falls to the ground, a drop of blood will be punished with a bowl of wine. Borrowing wok is unique, full of joy and unique interest.

It is also the oral literature of the She nationality to weave all the cooking utensils into the wok through the whole process. Focusing on the specific wedding environment, with exaggerated and romantic methods, the image of extremely ordinary cookers is vividly displayed, with profound meaning and touching contrast. It is a literary reflection of people's wisdom and life characteristics, and also a treasure in the literature treasure house of She nationality.

4. Toast with songs, commonly known as "frogs".

At nave's dinner party, the first table is the woman's next of kin, and the first table is the one on the left side of the screen, asking her uncle to sit down. The chief next of kin asked Chihiro to invite him, which was called "theme". Chilang called his closest relatives to the table, then held a glass in his hand, put a pair of chopsticks on the glass, bowed to his relatives one by one, and placed them in the designated seats where their relatives sat. If the woman has more uncles, uncles, etc. The director often sets a table for two. Ordinary guests can sit at will.

After three rounds of drinking, I began to "pry the frog". The matchmaker (the female singer representing the bride, if the bride is a singer, she can also toast herself, without asking the matchmaker) brought a box, in which a pair of red candles were lit and two wine glasses were placed, accompanied by an aunt carrying a hip flask. Aunt first introduced the bride's address to the distinguished guests, and the matchmaker bowed to the guests, and then sang a song "A pair of wine lamps are red, red, end to end" by toast song. Sister-in-law fills the glass in the jar with wine, and matchmaker holds the glass in both hands. The guest took it and gulped it down, then put a small red envelope in the bathtub. Matchmaker cheers for the second time. Start with the chief, and then respect every table.

When toasting, guests have to take out small red envelopes, so they are called "prying frogs". These red envelopes are distributed to the red mother as a reward, and also to the aunt as "sister money", which is mainly taken by the bride to her husband's house as a silver medal when she makes hats for her children in the future.

Sister-in-law and Qi Niang toast mainly in Jingning, and brides in other counties also toast with Qi Niang. In Suichang, Chilang made a toast, which was called "Flowers after Chilang".

5. Get married at night.

In the song "When childhood is over, the bride wears more clothes ...", the bride begins to dress and change. It is said that at dawn, there are few pedestrians on the road, which is refreshing and auspicious. This is the golden moment of marriage, so the bride gets dressed before dawn. In the past, from the day when she women became brides, they combed their hair into spiral or cylindrical sideburns and put them on their heads, wearing crowns and lace clothes. Now the bride's hairstyle and dress are not much different from those of the local Han nationality. However, I still follow the practice of dressing in the middle of the night and leave my mother's house early for good luck. According to the regulations, Shi Mao should enter her husband's house.

Accompanied by two accompanying aunts, the bride went to the hall to say goodbye to her parents. Each of her brothers and sisters ate a mouthful of sugar rice, which indicated that life would be as sweet as sugar in the future, called "sister rice". Three mouthfuls of sugar rice were wrapped in a towel and brought to her husband's family in her arms, called "a catty of rice". Some people even hold ceremonies to keep chopsticks, which means that the bride will go to someone else's house and her parents will give it to her brother for support. The way is: the bride stands on a small stool in the middle of the nave, facing outward, and her brother or younger brother stands behind her, holding a pair of chopsticks from the armpit to the bride, and the bride takes it and returns it from her shoulder. Repeat three times. Then the aunt helped the bride under the eaves, opened the "walking umbrella" and gave the bride a half-way walk. According to legend, the ancestor Yincui gorge married with an "imperial umbrella", so the world followed the bride to hold an umbrella. "A Brief History of She Nationality" said: "The bride left the house, covered her head with an umbrella, and walked to the dry room." Now, some brides still carry "walking umbrellas" when they travel by car.

A group of girls (including women) reluctantly raised their dowry and sent it to the gate. Some went to the east with dowry, others went to the west, falling apart, leaving Chilang at a loss. He followed closely and asked for forgiveness. After some frolicking, Chilang took out a red envelope and handed it to the girl, thanking her for seeing her off. The girl returned a red envelope, wishing you a safe journey. Giving each other red envelopes in this way is called "cow ghost versus cow mother". It's funny that naughty girls hold "Cow Ghost" but don't exchange with "Cow Niang". They may take the "snack cake" on the back of the dowry (cookies that Chilang used as snacks on the road) or smear Chilang's face. Red waves are hard to receive the dowry, and the red Songyang lamp leads the way, as fast as flying. "Thank you for the wine, thank you for the tea, thank you for the six relatives and hosts, thank you for seeing me off, and the relatives in Jin Lang turned around and went home ..." The cheerful songs echoed in the mountains, and the bride had gone a long way. Playing with red waves often sows the seeds of remarriage in the village. A village where no one plays with red waves will be called incompetent. In some villages in Jingning, after eating "wine", Hanglang went back with a dowry in the afternoon.