The first time I really left home, I went to Nanjing to study. At that time, I heard the whistle of Yucheng and watched the train slowly pull into the station. I didn't have any hesitation at all. Only the sea and the sky, the excitement of birds flying. I want to leave Gaotang, which is one step closer to my dream of seeing the sea. Farmers who live in Gaotang and the sun will definitely not have the concept of the ocean. Life is like a ladder, they climb it step by step. After I arrived in Nanjing, I fell in love with the aristocratic temperament of this metropolis, and its majestic proximity to mountains and rivers also made me linger. My only regret is that there is no sea near Nanjing. Although I have traveled the Yangtze River at night and experienced a stormy gesture, I still yearn for the ocean I have had since I was a child. In fact, it is not the height I must reach, but I want to have it, just like life has never been short. One summer night during the summer vacation, I went to pukou railway station in Jiangbei to take a train. When I was on the ferry, there was a sudden storm, and even the crew on board turned pale with fear. My girlfriend and I both closed our eyes when we saw this. I am very calm. I want to read so many books, and I am always pretentious. I wouldn't be so sad. I casually quoted a poem by Han Yu: I am careful with my mouth. Strange to say, the ferry soon leveled off. When I got off the boat, my girlfriend told me that you could recite the mantra. I said I haven't seen the sea yet. How could I drown in the river? She said, look at the sea and I will accompany you.
But in the end, I didn't have a chance to see the sea until I graduated from college, until Lao Yan flew together, and until I went from the Yangtze River to the Yellow River. At that time, the living expenses of twenty or thirty yuan a month and the food stamps of twenty-nine pounds and a half were almost all of my life. I once had a stage without ideals, dreams and even memories. Can you describe it as a walking corpse? The sea is far away, and my livelihood becomes a problem. I feel as if I have entered a dead end, a fork in my life, staying in Nanjing, going back to Gaotang or going to Jinan. Finally, I decided the next step by rolling the dice. Maybe many of our life trajectories are random.
After working, I went to Shanghai for a business trip and really saw the sea. I am alone on the Bund. In the cool moonlight, the sea water is like ink, and the sea breeze smells like a tidal wave on my face. Neons are flashing behind me, and the bustling Shanghai seems like a lifetime ago. I don't have the excitement I imagined, but I have a faint curiosity. The sea I saw was different from the sea I dreamed of. Stars lack the depth I want to see, especially celibacy. Sitting on a stool in a daze for a whole hour, thinking about the past, the scenery I have seen, and the people who have accompanied me countless times. Some people have accompanied me for a long time, and some people just glanced at it, but I will cherish all the people who have crossed paths in my life.
Many years later, I lived in a seaside villa in Rizhao for about a month, which really satisfied my wish. Walking barefoot on the beach in the morning, I picked up some ordinary shells that surprised me, and then made people string them into wind chimes. The sound of waves lapping on the coast in the night wind gives me a sense of stillness in life. At this time, I sit on the uninhabited coast, guarding my happiness, and sometimes I can.
A person looks at the sea just as a person looks at his own ideal. It's good to have you, but even a person should leave a smile for the sea.