The coming May is a romantic season and a golden season for marriage. If your wife or he falls behind in the process of marriage, it is not his/her intention to run away. Don't doubt that there is something wrong with your love Maybe he/she has been "infected" with marital phobia and needs your care at this moment. According to Zhao Yan, the chief physician of the psychology department of Tongren Hospital, the symptoms of premarital discomfort first appeared in the stage of talking about marriage, mainly because of doubts and fears about the durability of marriage. First of all, this fear comes from the negative "propaganda" of public opinion on marriage life. The analysis of various marriage problems by some media exposes the dark side of marriage too much, which makes people who have "intention to get married" feel an invisible pressure, resulting in excessive anxiety about the "direction" of marriage life and fear of marriage failure. Another reason is that one party is not very satisfied with some aspects of the other party, or doubts whether some shortcomings of the other party can be changed after marriage and whether they can adapt themselves. The second stage is the "symptoms" such as fear, tension and anxiety that appear one month or one week before marriage. Different from the first stage, the reason of "fear of marriage" at this time is the "expansion" of the difficulty of married life. According to Zhao Yan, the proportion of men and women who are afraid of marriage is roughly the same, but the content of fear is different. Men are more afraid than women. Generally speaking, women are worried about the short-term and current family life after marriage, including the handling and coordination with family members such as father-in-law, mother-in-law and sister-in-law; Because I can't do housework, I'm worried that others will find fault with me. Ms. Jia, who has "fled" many times, is a typical example. The reason why she "fled" was that she felt that she could not bear the life after marriage. At home, she is a nurse, while the father of another family is often ill, and her future mother-in-law is not very good at cooking. She is worried that she will have to learn a lot and take care of others when she arrives at her new "home", thinking that she may not be able to do it, for fear that others will find fault with her. With the help of a psychologist, she had a frank communication with her lover, who promised to help her adapt slowly and build up confidence. After getting married, she found that marriage was not what she thought, and many things naturally adapted. Zhao Yan said that before she got used to marriage, that kind of tension and fear was inevitable, and it was a bad state of mind. Sometimes, the one who wants to get married suddenly hears that the wedding is going to be cancelled, and suddenly he doesn't get married when he wants to get married three or four days later. He will wonder if the other party doesn't love me at all and now he regrets it. When you are confused, you often can't communicate anymore. At this time, they need psychological doctors to give them some help, help them relax and find an occasion to fully communicate with each other. In most cases, doctors don't need too much intervention, because there is nothing wrong with their own feelings, and they may just have insufficient communication. Men's anxiety about marriage in fear of marriage is that they are skeptical about their ability to bear the burden of the family, mainly considering their responsibilities in the family. A few days before marriage, I feel that I have to "carry" so many things after marriage and I will "stand tall". Suddenly, they felt unable to hide it. The subjective conclusion is that the whole burden falls on their shoulders and cannot be borne. Some men will also consider the relationship with the woman's parents and the problems after the birth of their children in the future. Some people see that colleagues have children soon after marriage, and the couple can't afford diapers and milk powder, so they will think, what should I do if I have children after marriage? In addition, you can't always take care of your family, but you should honor your parents. You used to invite them to dinner and go out to play. Now, are you going to invite them or not? It is unfilial not to invite them. Will they be financially unaffordable? Therefore, the "source" of fear of marriage is mainly to "amplify" the pressure of life. Symptoms and solutions of fear of marriage: fear of marriage will have an impact on life and work. The usual "symptoms" are irritability, bad temper and irritability. Some people will be silent and unwilling to talk more, which will affect their work and life. If you are worried that you are not suitable for your future life, before you talk about marriage, you should often go to the other person's home to get to know about his or her family, or talk more about his or her family to directly or indirectly understand the living habits of future family members. This process is also a process of psychological adaptation. When you have doubts and fears about the durability of marriage, you should keep an open mind and be able to communicate with each other in order to dispel this doubt. No matter what happens, like his sudden unwillingness to get married, you may feel uncomfortable, but don't rush to deny the feelings of both sides or ask him or her more. Maybe he (she) has reasons for his (her) concern, and his (her) concern is not necessarily unnecessary, and sometimes it may be practical. If coordinated, it is also very beneficial to married life.