China has attached great importance to marriage since ancient times. If a family member wants to get married, the whole family will go out and set up a "Marriage Preparatory Committee" six months or more in advance to prepare for the recruitment of three media, wedding banquets and other matters.
Because everyone attaches great importance to marriage, many families and individuals regard marriage as an opportunity to show off. It seems that whoever has a bigger and more spectacular wedding will have a happier life.
Is that really the case? The two weddings I witnessed with my own eyes can probably explain some problems.
The first wedding came from my cousin.
My cousin was poor in the village at that time, but my cousin was handsome and hardworking, and his neighbors were famous, so when he reached marriageable age, the matchmaker came to introduce him to the girls in the neighboring village.
I have a marriage partner, but getting married is a hurdle for my cousin's family. Although the woman is very satisfied with her cousin, everything can't be little or simple, otherwise it will become a laughing stock. In the feudal countryside, the poorer people are, the more proud they are, and the uneducated rabble will be excited to give their spitballs.
Cousin has no father, only a weak old lady, so under the crowdfunding of seven aunts and eight aunts, she finally prepared the bride price according to the woman's request, but something went wrong on the wedding day.
I don't know who gave the bride the idea to give her an extra 200 yuan to get off the sedan chair, or she wouldn't come down. This is to test whether her husband's family attaches importance to her, and also to give her mother-in-law a fright and avoid being bullied in the future.
200 yuan was astronomical for my cousin's family at that time, and relatives and friends could borrow it. Seeing that the scheduled meeting time is coming soon, a group of people who eat melons are already waiting for this bright-eyed joke. As a last resort, my cousin borrowed a loan shark temporarily and borrowed 200 yuan for one month, with interest of 100 yuan.
The wedding was finally completed, and the rest of my life was on my own. So my cousin and my wife spent nearly ten years selling coolies to pay off debts. At home, they often quarrel for three days and five days, and the topic is only one, money.
The second wedding came from my classmate.
The classmate's family is also rural, and the boyfriend he is looking for is nice, but his family is poor. To what extent? I heard that he went out for dinner with his parents when he was a child. Begging is a distant topic for people of our age.
Fortunately, my classmates' families are very reasonable. As long as students can marry a good man and live in peace, they can ignore everything, including the gossip outside.
When the students got married, everything was simple, and there was no banquet to support the scene, but the two did not leave any foreign debts, but moved from one dormitory to another.
After marriage, life is simple but happy. They have business and quantity together, work together and accumulate wealth bit by bit. Now my classmate's husband is the vice president of a company. He has a house and a car at home and is happy and harmonious. Those relatives and friends who laughed at their classmates' parents in those days all shut up.
Although marriage is a big event, it is a personal matter after all. Life is for yourself, not for others. Marriage needs two people to run it. Don't be selfish enough to drink nectar alone. Without food and water, no one can stand a long journey. The proportion and mentality between gains and losses are only clear to you. The best marriage is naturally full of face, but if there can only be one, I think lining is more important.