However, we often see that some women's families use bride price to "blackmail" each other and subsidize their own families; Some male families use dowry to measure the attitude of female families. Both of these practices deviate from the original direction of dowry and bride price, and also violate the original good wishes of this custom. Dowry and bride price are actually a way for elders to help the next generation. Then dealing with dowry and bride price naturally requires mutual consent.
First, love is voluntary.
Just like love, love is voluntary and has no regrets. There are many contradictions and disputes between bride price and dowry, because many times it is not voluntary. "If you don't give such colorful gifts, don't get married." "If you don't give such colorful gifts, you will be shameless." This is not voluntary. Such a marriage full of contradictions and quarrels can hardly guarantee a happy life after marriage. And this psychological inequality before marriage will naturally be brought to the later marriage life.
Second, do your best.
The conditions of the two companies are different, and it is unrealistic to be completely equal. Some families have good conditions and can pay more for their children. Poor families should pay more for their children in action if they pay less for their children materially. For example, take care of children when they are born, and take care of them when they are young. Can make up for the lack of material contribution to children.
Third, it's all for the good of this family.
Married is a family, and no matter how many quarrels, it will be borne by this family in the end. Family and talent are everything, so everything starts with family. On the issue of bride price and dowry, both families only strive for the interests of their children, but when they get married, they are both children of the other side. There is no need to argue with yourself until you finally find out that you are arguing with yourself.
Finally, whether it is a dowry or a bride price, it is actually for the future of the two newcomers and for the good of the two newcomers. You can't just think about who takes advantage of who before you get married. Marriage is a joint effort of two families and a happy event of the whole extended family. For family members, only when they suffer losses can they enjoy happiness.