Now there are more and more demands for bride price in Bashang. I heard that there are 50 thousand this year. In order to get married, it costs a lot, from meeting men and women, giving bride price, setting a wedding date to holding a wedding, every step costs thousands or even thousands of yuan, plus the cost of building a new house, at least 50,000 to 60,000 yuan, and more than 70,000 yuan. In some places, in order to marry a daughter-in-law, some young men began to go out to work and save money from their teens. In order to make more money, they often choose jobs with high labor intensity and have no time to learn any skills, which forms a vicious circle. The poorer they are, the less opportunities they have for development.
I wanted to earn some money to start my own business, but I had to pay a bride price of 10 thousand yuan. If we use this money to learn some skills, our future life will definitely be much happier than selling coolies, but backward thinking will make us more and more backward. From the time the matchmaker comes to the door, money is indispensable step by step! The increasingly heavy "bride price" has been overwhelming. Some work hard outside for a year, and the money they earn is not enough to send a bride price; This has seriously affected the improvement of cultural quality, and even many people hurt their feelings for the bride price. The excessive involvement of parents in marriage intensifies the contradictions after marriage, and it is not uncommon for people who don't go to their mother-in-law's house for several years after marriage.
I don't know whether I am a man or not, but judging from this matter, I hope that some women can speak here and talk about your feelings. Do you dare to tell colleagues that our hometown talks about the custom of marriage in big cities? One of my classmates once said, "If you find someone, don't find anyone on the dam. Not to mention the bride price, the thought has been seriously corrupted. " Maybe my classmate said something too much, but it makes sense when you think about it.
Alas! ! ! ! ! !
Author: 2 19.238.54. Reply to this speech.
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Reply: About the custom of asking for bride price on Bashang.
Nobody talks?
Author: 2 19.238.54. Reply to this speech.
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Reply: About the custom of asking for bride price on Bashang.
Let me say something. The bride price money on Bashang is really a vicious circle, which makes the hometown people poorer and poorer, mainly because of their backward thinking. The root cause is that they can't let go and don't go out.
I just want to talk about my situation and thoughts: in recent years, I have grown up and matured, and I have my own independent thoughts. I have many differences with my family. At first, I was in pain, but then I gradually figured it out. Parents have lived in that kind of ideological environment for most of their lives. It's hard for you to try to change their minds. If you don't do it, you will be labeled as righteous and unjust. (Although this is not the case) Sometimes they say what they think is right, which will make you cry and laugh, but it will also give you a feeling of helplessness, because no matter what they think or do, their starting point is not wrong, but out of love for their children. I believe this, and everyone will not refute me.
I once saw an article on the Internet, but I forgot where I saw it, which made me thoroughly understand that a knot buried in my heart for many years was opened. Grateful parents, although it is very inappropriate for them to ask for a lot of bride price, can their children object? Different people have different opinions. You are smart, don't go against your parents, let alone follow them, because they are already wrong.
Thoroughly communicate with parents to find out what concerns they have, and then try to dispel these concerns. In addition, there are other people's public opinions. Rural people say everything, saying that their girls have followed others for nothing, and so on. . . . . You can say anything. Speaking of which, some friends may talk about me. Of course we don't care, but as our parents, they care, care, care, because they will continue their lives in that land; This may happen to some families, and the bride price money is indispensable. At this time, should you do something, prove to them with facts, and prove that you are right, because you have not lived according to their requirements, and you have lived well, and others have nothing to say.
Author: Lei Feifei 2005-7- 19 08:57 Reply to this speech
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Reply: About the custom of asking for bride price on Bashang.
I have seen two wonderful ideas and I am deeply impressed. On the other side of the dam, including around the dam or other counties and cities, everyone has this saying. Many people who have never been out of the city are now comparing. You want 30 thousand, I want 50 thousand, you want 50 thousand, I want 80 thousand From the first three big pieces to the present, I want all kinds of unspeakable folding sets, and even made up a jingle. What gold is it? What's more, houses and mobile phones in the county are popular now. I think many of them can't use computers now, and maybe even high-tech things like computers and MP3 players will not be spared that day.
There is also a kind that has been left since ancient times. Now many young people have refused to obey their parents' arrangement in marriage. They chose free love, but at the critical moment, that is, the wedding ceremony, parents still want it. Of course, they want the right thing, and they also comfort themselves with reciprocity. Men are really hard to take out. Therefore, if the young man can find a southern girl outside, he may alleviate this at home.
Author: Kangbanol replied to this speech on July, 2005-19 at 09: 34.
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Reply: About the custom of asking for bride price on Bashang.
What's more, houses and mobile phones in the county are popular now. What else is popular?
Author: Lei Feifei 2005-7- 19 09:52 reply to this speech.
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Reply: About the custom of asking for bride price on Bashang.
Thank you for your reply. When my sister got married, I did a bad job for my parents and finally asked for 1000, but it was the least in the village. I send this post in the hope that you can mobilize your relatives and get rid of this bad habit. To tell the truth, the man who wants the bride price is cold. Will he cherish your daughter? It was never pleasant at that time!
Author: 2 19.238.54. * July, 2005-1911.09 replied to this statement.
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Reply: About the custom of asking for bride price on Bashang.
I wish a lady could come up and say a few words. I wonder if I am biased from a man's point of view in this matter.
Author: 2 19.238.54. * July 2005-1911:10 reply to this statement.
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Reply: About the custom of asking for bride price on Bashang.
1000 yuan
I don't know what to say ~ ~ ~ ~
Author: Kangbanol 2005-7-1911:10 reply to this statement.
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Reply: About the custom of asking for bride price on Bashang.
How to say the landlord left his name ~ ~ ~
Author: kangbanol 2005-7-191:1reply to this statement.
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Reply 10: About the custom of asking for bride price on Bashang.
The road to revolution is long and full of difficulties.
Author: Lei Yu Feifei 2005-7-1911:18 reply to this statement.
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1 1 Reply: About the custom of asking for bride price on Bashang.
Hmm. How interesting
What kind of revolution is this?
Author: Kangbanol 2005-7-1911:22 reply to this speech.
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Reply 12: About the custom of asking for bride price on Bashang.
Revolution to overthrow the huge bride price
Author: Lei Feifei 2005-7-1911:32 reply to this speech.
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Reply 13: About the custom of asking for bride price on Bashang.
Revolution to overthrow the huge bride price
I don't even understand, really,
! ! ! !
Author: Lei Feifei 2005-7-1911:33 reply to this speech.
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Reply 14: About the custom of asking for bride price on Bashang.
West side. .
Author: Lei Feifei 2005-7-1911:33 reply to this speech.
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Reply 15: About the custom of asking for bride price on Bashang.
It's from me. I forgot to log in.
Author: Wang Wang rs 2005-7- 19 12:58 reply to this speech.
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Reply 16: About the custom of asking for bride price on Bashang.
It should be changed
Author: My heart has replied to this statement July 2005-19 13: 06.
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Reply 17: About the custom of asking for bride price on Bashang.
Welcome to Brother Jin. Thank you for coming.
Author: Lei Feifei 2005-7- 19 13:34 reply to this speech.
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Reply 18: About the custom of asking for bride price on Bashang.
As far as the four counties on Bashang are concerned, there is no such thing as hatred on Bashang.
Author: Wang Wang rs 2005-7- 19 13:40 reply to this speech.
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Reply 19: About the custom of asking for bride price on Bashang.
Marry a capable husband. Poverty can be changed. You need tens of millions of assets, but you can't spend them all.
Author: Wang Wang rs 2005-7- 19 13:47 reply to this speech.
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Reply: About the custom of asking for bride price on Bashang.
9494
Author: Lei Feifei 2005-7- 19 13:49 reply to this speech.
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2 1 reply 3: About the custom of asking for bride price on Bashang.
You can't live a rich life with as much bride price as you want. The key is whether you have the faith to live a good life. Instead of letting your future husband work hard at the construction site, it is better to ask for a bride price. Instead, let your husband's family spend money to shape your friends.
Author: Wang Wang RS 2005-7-1914: 01reply to this speech.
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Reply: About the custom of asking for bride price on Bashang.
9494
Author: Lei Feifei 2005-7- 19 14:06 Reply to this speech.
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Reply: About the custom of asking for bride price on Bashang.
Crazy top ~ ~ ~ ~
Author: Kangbanor replied to this statement in July 2005-19 15: 39.
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Reply: About the custom of asking for bride price on Bashang.
Boutique is the top ~ ~ ~
Author: Kangbanol July 22, 200510:10 Reply to this speech.
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Reply: About the custom of asking for bride price on Bashang.
The woman who left her hometown dared to tell people from other places about her marriage in her hometown, thinking that the story would be told.
Author: Wang Wang rs 2005-7-22 10:20 reply to this speech.
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Reply: About the custom of asking for bride price on Bashang.
I dare say,
As long as we can tell them stories in our office, every day at noon!
Author: Lei Feifei July 22, 200510: 57 Reply to this speech
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A peasant woman was crying about the bad habits in the countryside.
The bride price is killing me! (from the heart)
I am a 26-year-old peasant woman living in a remote mountainous area. I don't want to tell my real name and address, but I really want to use a corner of your newspaper to tell a story about my married life. Because of the prevailing atmosphere of comparing and asking for bride price in rural areas and my parents' greed for too much bride price, my married life is difficult and in trouble. I hope more parents can understand the difficulties of their daughters after marriage, and never ask for eye-catching bride price through comparison again.
My parents and I got engaged five years ago. After my engagement, my parents regarded me as a "cash cow". They always let me ask the man for this and that, ranging from one hundred to four hundred yuan each time. Three years later, I asked the man for more than 8 thousand yuan. When preparing to get married, parents, like many married women, ask the man for various bride price of 20 thousand to 30 thousand yuan. On the wedding day, others were charged more than 2000 yuan for "mom's money", "clothes money", "unlocking money", "getting on the horse" and "crossing the river and crossing the bridge". In addition, the man spent more than 50 thousand yuan on the wedding, including the cost of buying furniture, electrical appliances, motorcycles and arranging the wedding. Only after marriage did I know that the man owed me more than 30 thousand foreign debts!
This foreign debt weighs heavily on both of us. Although my husband has been trying to earn money all these years, I have been farming pigs and raising chickens at home, and I have been frugal and careful, but there is always a big hole and a small patch. Up to now, I still have foreign debts of 6.5438+0.5 million yuan. To tell the truth, after three years of marriage, we didn't wear a decent dress, and we didn't dare to spend a penny that shouldn't have been spent, but the creditors forced us to come to the door and we made money. When sowing in spring, there are people rushing to buy fertilizer, plastic film, seeds and so on. And we are in a hurry to have no money. On weekdays, other people's homes run around doing business and opening stores to earn money, but we have no capital and can only suffer! I remember once, after we were angry about money, I ran back to my mother's house in a rage and wanted to complain, but my parents didn't understand. What else did I say? In today's society, when a daughter gets married, there is less bride price, and people are still laughing! What are you afraid of at a young age? Helpless, I had to run home full of grievances. Alas! Think about it, too. I'm not the only one who is in debt after marriage now. But who knows that the harmful bride price is really unbearable! When can I live a happy life without debt? !
Li XX, a young woman from Huguan County, Shanxi Province, dictated.
Qin's Arrangement of Zituanshan Literature Society in Huguan County
People's Daily (065438+2003123 October, edition 14)
Author: Wang Wang rs 2005-7-22 1 1:02 reply to this speech.
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Reply: About the custom of asking for bride price on Bashang.
Min Ziping and Lin Anli, Rights Department of Hubei Women's Federation:
It is suggested to add the relevant provisions of rural bride price in Article 17. The custom of betrothed couples giving bride price is still common in rural areas. The Marriage Law does not clearly stipulate whether the bride price is a gift from the man to the woman or the property shared by both men and women before marriage.
It's time to use legal constraints.
Author: Wang Wang rs 2005-7-22 1 1:06 reply to this speech.
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Reply: About the custom of asking for bride price on Bashang.
Sun Wei Cai Li robbed a taxi.
Sun, a 22-year-old male from Longshan Village, Longyang Town, Tengzhou, did not enter the bridal chamber. Two years ago, I was introduced to establish a love relationship with Li in Kanzhuang Village, Zoucheng City. Their marriage has never been successful because Sun couldn't pay a bride price of 8,000 yuan. On May 2 1 2004, Sun and Li Er came up with the idea of robbing a taxi in order to quickly prepare the bride price and achieve the purpose of marriage. After the two conspired, they rented an Alto car in Tengzhou in the name of visiting relatives in Zoucheng that night. When the car drove to a remote road in the north of Zaocun village in Houzhen, Sun took out a dagger prepared in advance from him, stabbed the driver Zhao's neck and fingers by intimidation and coercion, and snatched the car. Later, Sun was not familiar with the car, so he abandoned the car in a hurry and fled at night.
Sun, who didn't grab the "bride price", was unhappy, but within a few days, it was reported that his girlfriend Li was going to marry someone else. Drinking and drinking, he came up with a "good" way to get back at Li, so he picked up the phone and dialed the number of Longyang police station: Did you find the robbed taxi? I know who robbed it ... he thought that after Li was confessed, she would definitely "go in", so that she could not marry herself, or anyone else, let alone go to the prison with herself. The police of Longyang police station used caller ID to quickly rush to his home to arrest him on the spot, and rushed to Zoucheng overnight to arrest Li in one fell swoop.
At present, both Sun and Li have been under criminal detention.
Author: Wang Wang rs 2005-7-22 1 1:07 reply to this speech.
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Reply: About the custom of asking for bride price on Bashang.
It suddenly occurred to me that if the government can organize such a brochure, all these master cases on the Internet will be edited and distributed to every family.
Author: Lei Feifei July 22, 200511:46 reply to this speech.
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3 1 Breaking off an engagement requires a bride price.
There has been a custom in our country since ancient times. When a man and a woman are engaged, the man should give the bride price and betrothal gift to the woman to show sincerity and commitment. This kind of bride price and betrothal gift is commonly known as "bride price". Although the "bride price" is a symbol of good luck, it sometimes becomes a stumbling block to marriage. China's current law respects the freedom of marriage and does not recognize the legal effect of the engagement, so when one party asks for the dissolution of the engagement, there will often be bride price disputes.
Matchmaker matchmaking
For Chang, who lives in Luzhuang Town, gongyi city, her greatest wish is to arrange a marriage for her 23-year-old son. According to the local rural customs, the son is not young, so it's time to get married and have children.
Therefore, relatives and friends are often asked to help her son pay attention to the right candidate. Chang's sister often pays special attention to this matter naturally. I often talked about this in a chat with my neighbor Jing Haitang. Jing Haitang recommended a girl named Liu Hongdan to her. After explaining the conditions of men and women in detail, Chang and Jing Haitang both thought they were suitable, so they built a bridge between them and let Liu Hongdan know each other soon.
be engaged
Through a period of understanding, Liu Jia is very satisfied. He has a Zhengzhou hukou and his family is well-off. Xi Ji Tao is also aware of this woman's situation. Later, according to local customs, Liu Hongdan and his mother, accompanied by two references, went to Xi Ji Tao's home to see the house and held an engagement ceremony. It was agreed that the wedding would be held at the end of 2003.
After the engagement, Xi's family began to make nervous preparations for the upcoming wedding, and Xi Ji Tao was also happily waiting for the wedding. However, things did not develop as expected by the Xi family. Two young people who thought they would get married went to court.
come to a deadlock
Xi Ji Tao said that seeing the wedding day approaching, he found Liu Hongdan and asked to go through the marriage registration formalities together. But at this time, the Liu family began to shirk for various reasons, saying that time was tight and it was not easy to prepare, and asked to postpone the wedding. Who knows that this delay is more than a year.
At the end of 2004, when her family once again urged her to hold the wedding as soon as possible, the Liu family suggested that her family give her another 654.38 million yuan. For this request, the Xi family made it clear that it was unacceptable. On the one hand, Liu Jiajian refused to give 1 10,000 yuan to talk about marriage; On the other hand, the Xi family has repeatedly said that it is impossible to come up with the money. Things suddenly came to a deadlock.
Why did the Liu family insist on such a request for this marriage? We found the answer from Liu Hongdan's mother. Liu Hongdan's mother said that the reason for their request was simple, that is, they wanted to cancel their marriage with the Xi family. Because Liu Hongdan and Xi Ji Tao got along for a period of time, she and her family felt that although Xi Ji Tao had good conditions and a city hukou, he didn't have any great skills, and there would definitely be no great development in the future.
For this reason of the Liu family, Xi Ji Tao thought that the real reason why the Liu family destroyed their marriage was not his incompetence, but that his family was not as rich as the Liu family imagined, so Liu Jiacai wanted to break off the marriage relationship.
Ask for a bride price
Anyway, at this point, both families know that this marriage can only be abandoned. At this point, the family asked the Liu family to return the bride price and items paid to the Liu family before and after the engagement, and completely ended the matter. According to Xi's family, according to the local rural customs, if both men and women agree to continue their relationship after meeting, a very important process is to change handkerchiefs, that is, wrap them with bride price money and formally engage the woman. So when his family and the Liu family got engaged, they wrapped 4 thousand yuan in a handkerchief and gave it to each other. In addition to the bride price, they also bought jewelry and clothes for Liu Hongdan, which should also be returned.
The Liu family flatly refused to return the bride price. They said they never received these things. How can they return them?
In the end, the two sides failed to reach an agreement on the return of the bride price after many consultations. The Xi family said that for this marriage, they spent more than two years back and forth, and finally they couldn't get back the money they invested. This result is unacceptable to them in any case. Therefore, the Xi family decided to solve this matter through legal channels.
mediation in court
On March 28th, 2005, Xi Jitao filed a complaint against Liu Hongdan, demanding that he return the bride price of 5,600 yuan. After Xi Ji Tao sued, Liu Hongdan thought that Xi Ji Tao's prosecution had damaged his reputation, and filed a counterclaim against Xi Ji Tao, demanding that the other party stop the infringement, apologize and compensate 30,000 yuan for mental damages.
After accepting the case, the gongyi city People's Court held a public hearing. After listening to the statements of both parties, the presiding judge announced that the defendant Liu Hongdan failed to pay the litigation fees within the time limit specified by the court and refused to hear his counterclaim according to law.
Author: Wang Wang rs 2005-7-22 12:06 reply to this speech.
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32 Divorce the engagement requires a bride price.
In the court investigation stage, the plaintiff Xi Ji Tao presented the witness testimony to the court. Witnesses Chang and Jing Haitang testified in court, proving that the plaintiff gave the defendant Liu Hongdan a platinum necklace with a bride price of 4,000 yuan and a value of 1000 yuan, and clothes with a value of 200 yuan. The defendants' representatives all objected to this. They believe that the witness is often the immediate family of the plaintiff, so his testimony has no legal effect. For the witness Jing Haitang to testify in court, the defendant's agent suggested that his testimony was not credible because Jing Haitang had a dispute with the defendant before.
In this regard, the plaintiff's agent pointed out that the plaintiff is often not a direct relative in the legal sense, and the law does not stipulate that people with relatives cannot testify in court. Moreover, Jing Haitang is a simple rural woman, and her testimony has not been processed or modified, so the court should accept it.
After the court debate, the collegial panel announced an adjournment. After mediation in court, the original and the defendant reached a mediation agreement voluntarily: the defendant Liu Hongdan paid the plaintiff Xi Ji Tao 1000 yuan before June 6, 2005, and the plaintiff Xi Ji Tao voluntarily gave up other claims; The case acceptance fee is 234 yuan, which shall be borne by both the original and the defendant.
Expert review
The law does not support bride price.
Zhang Bin (host of "Walking into the Court"): Bride price is a very old folk custom in China. Then, how should we treat the bride price from the legal point of view?
Liu (Director of Henan Law Firm):
As a folk custom, the bride price has lasted for thousands of years in China, which has a long history. Ancient marriage depended on parents' orders, matchmakers' words, and bride price implied auspiciousness and had propaganda effect.
The current marriage system takes registration as a necessary condition, so the bride price naturally loses its original meaning and becomes a stereotype. Article 3 of China's Marriage Law clearly stipulates: "It is forbidden to arrange, buy or sell marriages and other acts that interfere with the freedom of marriage, and it is forbidden to use marriage to obtain property." Obviously, the law has a negative evaluation of the bride price.
Although the bride price is sometimes given to others "voluntarily" by one party, it does not mean a gift in contract law. Gift in contract law is a completely voluntary act, which only involves simple property relations. Even a conditional gift can't change this feature. In the bride price relationship, one party pays the other a certain amount of bride price or betrothal money, although it is also voluntary on the surface, but the purpose of this payment is very clear, that is, to conclude a marriage relationship and establish a specific identity relationship as the premise.
Witnesses in bride price disputes are very important.
Zhang Bin: After seeing the trial of this case, I have been thinking that both sides are often verbal, and there is no written material. When giving, it is impossible for both parties to record what I gave you today and how much I spent. However, if there is a dispute over the bride price in the future, the two sides will go to court. How can the court determine the facts at that time?
Liu: In the litigation cases caused by bride price, witness testimony is the main form of evidence.
Due to the traditional concept, it is impossible for the party receiving the bride price to issue a written certificate such as a receipt to the party sending the bride price, but there is usually a matchmaker or other witness present when sending the bride price. Therefore, in the case of asking for the return of bride price, witness testimony is the main evidence form in the whole evidence composition. Witness testimony is also a legal form of evidence stipulated by law. (Han Rucui, Jing Ke, Wen Shoushi, Song Zengfeng-Editor: You Li)
Author: Wang Wang rs 2005-7-22 12:06 reply to this speech.
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Reply: About the custom of asking for bride price on Bashang.
Nowadays, property justice is implemented in urban marriage, and the divorce rate in rural areas is getting higher and higher. Disputes over property issues will gradually increase.
Author: Wang Wang rs 2005-7-22 14: 17 reply to this speech.
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Reply: About the custom of asking for bride price on Bashang.
I feel that no matter how much I tell the old people about the harm of bride price, their deep-rooted ideas are hard to change at once.
Author: Jue Liu Zi replied to this speech on July 22, 200514: 25.