Why bid farewell to 20 17? Because 20 17 is a year that I have been looking forward to for many years, a year that I have high hopes for, a year that many suspense are waiting to be verified and revealed, a year that I graduated from graduate school and went to work, and a year that I thought that my dream could finally be realized after ten years of study.

? A year flies by, just because the days are so beautiful. ?

In fact, Ding You didn't give me too many surprises, but there was a big surprise. The accidental fracture of the left hand was quite serious. It cost a lot of money and left an ugly scar on the arm. If it weren't for my son who had a caesarean section before, I would definitely be depressed and feel very sorry. How can I tolerate that my skin and body are no longer perfect, but my hand is not disabled, just a few falls and injuries?

? Jian Zheng once said: "If a person must taste bitter liquid and refine verve on the road to perfection, but also get hurt, then let me accept the sword and shadow calmly, I don't want to keep humiliating cleaning. I would like to be a scarred person and die in my love for the world. A pool of blood, I sincerely admire the world. " This comforted my soul that was strangled many times in the pursuit of perfectionism.

Because of the age limit for entering Beijing, I am already angry at the idea of leaving Beijing and determined to go to Jiangnan city for development. Maybe God couldn't bear to let me go after all, and my job left me in Beijing. I am grateful to this place where I will stay for five years. After all, I realized my wish to have a Beijing hukou. Examining civil servants is the only way out for the over-age graduates of Beipiao, and I seized it.

However, it never occurred to me that this system has been despised and punished by journalists. My ideal has always been to be an uncrowned king. Oh, how can I seriously bow and scrape to those high officials who will never be shown an honest face?

So, can you be a public servant instead of an uncrowned king? All good things have the same ending. As long as the institutional environment gives me confidence, then public servants are my real value pursuit. I still remember that when I wrote a self-evaluation for my social practice in 2008, my childish remarks were teased by my classmates. I wrote, "I want to realize my public welfare value in society. If you give me a stage, I will fly to you. "

I stepped into the system with trepidation, often having nightmares, afraid of meeting what others say is right and wrong, and intrigue. But when I really walked in, I found that there were too many prejudices and misunderstandings in the past, and the system was not as complicated and dark as I thought, because all the people who could be absorbed into the system were people with positive energy and reliable rules, because party member always gave priority to those with advanced ideas and abilities. The negative news we see can be called news, because it is an unconventional case, but it always makes people feel that the world is as black as a crow.

At least the people around me make me very moved and warm. People told me that it must be because of fate that I crossed such a long distance and came here strangely. Then I must have formed a good relationship in my last life. Otherwise, why are all the people around me so familiar and kind, and they are all very kind to me? I want to repay my kindness, I want to be grateful, and I feel guilty about it, but sometimes I want to repay my kindness but I can't send it out.

I have been avoiding birth, ignorance, meanness, violence and ignorance. From the age of three, I knew that it was not the environment I wanted, and I looked on coldly at everything I didn't agree with. I have been looking for a group of people with similar minds and thoughts, looking for their own paradise and waiting for their golden age. I believe and firmly believe that such a moment will come in the future. I've been wondering why I never want to stay where I am, change my environment and serve my hometown. It's not that I am weak, but that I don't have much love for my hometown, because I have never felt love except my mother, and my bones are full of cold hatred.

I told others that I came here to learn to be a man. The higher a person's heart is, the higher it is. God just put you at the bottom to polish your pride. I must have many shortcomings, especially my ability. Otherwise, why do some people pursue their dreams smoothly, while I encounter so many obstacles? There must be a lot of things I haven't understood, seen or done. Without far-sighted parents' guidance, I am half-hearted on my way to school. Everything depends on my own understanding after entering the society. I have taken many detours, suffered losses and been valued. Naturally, it takes longer than the average person to make progress.

Heaven and earth are cruel to everything, and I know that the law of the world and heaven are contradictory. I think success should be smooth sailing and dark. If I become the kind of person I used to hate, I will be like a duck to water. But later I learned that there are thousands of ways in the world, but there is always one way that suits you. As long as you strengthen your heart, your heart will tell you the way to rise that suits you. I am always optimistic and lucky. Why can't I be the one who can succeed by sticking to idealism? And I just need to be my ideal self, constantly reflect on my shortcomings and deficiencies, polish myself and improve myself, and I will surely usher in my own golden age.

02

? My heart has been tense for years. I have been worried about the future, survival and career for many years. I know that the new Long March will start new anxiety, but at the moment of graduation, I told myself to relieve myself and give myself a half-year relaxation period. I went to a paradise, my brain got a full rest, a little relaxed, a little slack and a little confused. ? 20 17 the healthy and lovely growth of my son makes me feel very comfortable and relaxed. All my spare time is spent on losing weight and loving beauty, that is, worrying about the future, the five-year seal period. Where will I be in five years?

The scenery in Xanadu is beautiful, and people in Taoyuan are also very loving. Love leveled the cliff and bred the forest.

The complicated life, because coming here, makes people become a layer of transparency.

Although beauty and comfort make people want to stay, enjoyment should be controlled. Just like I know it is happy to be with my son all the time, but I can't indulge this enjoyment in order to give him greater love.

So, I told myself to keep going and not stop here.

Over the years, I have been holding my breath in my heart, depressed, sad, angry, and brave after knowing shame. Perhaps, as people say, living is to fight for breath. My thirst for knowledge has become very strong. I want to know everything and know why. I want to know the rules of the operation of the universe, I want to know the secrets of human wealth, I want to know why some people can add icing on the cake, I want to know why the frost has no roots, I want to get rid of the shackles of the five elements and get a glimpse of the way to get what I want, I want to know whether there is heaven and hell, whether there are six wheels and three generations of causality, whether there are parallel spaces and wormholes in this world, and whether I can see my mother who died in a hurry. I want to know if everything has ifs, and if there is any way to stop and change the outcome of things.

I have been suppressed by fate for a long time, and my ambition has become bigger. I want to stand on the highest mountain, sail in the bluest sea, gain the power of life and death, and have an open-minded heart to laugh and forget the enemy. I'm not even afraid of death. I'm afraid of doing nothing and having no way out and hope.

In 20 18, I set myself the theme of being brave and pioneering. We should work hard and explore bravely. Determination determines confidence. Lack of self-confidence has nothing to do with physical weakness, but only with how eager you are to accomplish something. The biggest failure of my 28-year-old life today is that I am too lazy. Only at the critical moment, I lean against the door to find loopholes, and at other times I am lazy. Life is a life of finding loopholes. Some people can read 1000 classics in four years. Why not? Some people watch 200 movies a month. Why not? Someone can take IELTS 8.0 for two months. Why not? Isn't it that you haven't been forced to a certain extent, and you don't have enough ambition and determination?

It is too late. There is still a lot to say about the battle in the new year. Write it in a few days.

Updating ... ...

Day 85 of 365 Extreme Challenge Camp without Ring