Had an affair, relatives and classmates called her Tian Tian, and friends on the Internet called her Ah Huan. I still remember the first day when I pulled her into the group of authors, she skipped and told everyone on the Internet: "I am a pseudo-cultural person, Ahua. Please call me jen. " She has always been such a person, open-minded and strong, with a little stubbornness and confusion.
Ah Huan debuted very early, and I met her very late. When The Legend of Immortality and Han Zigao were serialized, I was still a LOLI who didn't know what beauty was. In an instant, so many years have passed. Ah Huan doesn't even know it, but her two articles can.
It contains the history of beauty, and she doesn't know how many people really entered the beauty industry after reading her literary talent. How many years have passed, everything that is tottering has changed, but her childlike innocence has not changed.
20091October 22, 65438, A Huan poked me that I was going to write a new article again.
On February 14, A Huan left a message: If you want to write the follow-up story of "The Life of Immortality", you can send it at 100,000 yuan. Don't spend Valentine's Day alone.
On July 9, the last conversation on the Internet, she said that she was seriously ill in hospital and asked me to wait for her for two months. Her tone is still optimistic. However, this farewell has become a permanent strategy.
On September 8th, it was Ahuan's 29th birthday. She kept a candle for herself. In our hearts, she will live for a long time … but she will always be 28 years old.
In fact, what A Huan wrote is not abusive, but what he really abused is life ... He was born less than 100 years ago and always worried about his age.
The days are short and the nights are long. Why not travel by candlelight?
The only dream of floating life, wake up and steal. ...
Huan, bon voyage. ...
Reprinted dead leaves in June: in memory of Zhou Tiantian
On the evening of July/KOOC-0/7, 2009/KOOC-0/8: 45, I just returned to my dormitory after work and was about to surf the Internet. Suddenly I got a call from Wang Xiaoke. I thought it was about meeting, but I didn't want to hear the bad news-Zhou Meitian's classmate died of illness that day. This news is too sudden for me. I even suspect that this is a huge joke played by Xiaoke with his "premeditation" (he did play a similar premeditated scam joke with me 12 years ago), so I questioned it in a tough tone at first, but I immediately confirmed this fact from the tone and mood of being able to talk to him. I was shocked!
Compared with my shock, I know how much this incident has hit Xiaoke. I turned to comfort and guide Xiaoke and let him control his emotions. He obviously did a good job. After talking with Xiaoke, my mind was blank for a long time. I ate dinner, bathed and washed clothes almost mechanically, and then I couldn't sleep in bed for a long time until 4 am.
I was Zhou Yitian's classmate in junior high school for three years (1992- 1995), and I didn't have much contact. My first impression is a petite girl with a loud voice, deep myopia and pungent personality. What impressed me the most was that the teacher asked her to point out the location of Inner Mongolia on the map in the geography class of Grade One in senior high school. She took the pointer, looked up at the map for two seconds, and then pointed up hard. The pointer drew a circle with Ulaanbaatar as the center and said loudly, "This is Inner Mongolia!" " Then naturally the whole class burst into laughter, but she was not annoyed or embarrassed and laughed along. Only the teacher shook his head helplessly. At that time, she and I both participated in the pantomime "The Emperor's New Clothes". I play the emperor and she plays the liar. The difference is that I am the first game and she is the second game; I was appointed by the teacher, and she volunteered; I play passive, she plays active.
During junior high school, she repeatedly said on various occasions that her ideal is to be a lawyer and solve problems for people. At that time, I thought that with her eloquence, she was very suitable to be a lawyer. During her classmates, she sat at the same table with my two best friends, Lao Jiang and Xiao Ke. My deskmate with Lao Jiang was in the second grade of junior high school. At that time, she completely lost interest in math class. She copied her math homework from Lao Jiang every day. In exchange, she lent her family's novels (especially martial arts novels) to Lao Jiang. It was also in this way that I realized that she had a large collection of books and read more books than I did at that time. This lasted for a semester, as a result, her math scores plummeted, and Lao Jiang became famous for reading casual books in class, and her eyesight began to be nearsighted. Then sit at the same table with Xiaoke. Because Xiaoke is the youngest, there is no "male and female defense" for girls to associate with him. They all regard him as a little brother, but she seems to be different from other girls, and regards Xiaoke as a person of the same age. He often jokes about bullying, so that Xiao can be described as a "bitch", and he also integrates his image of "bitch" into the alliance literature with us. The biggest difference between Zhou Meitian and other girls is that she is sincere, unpretentious, does not hide her personal likes and dislikes, and does not go with the flow. Zhou Xiantian has a large collection of books and a large amount of reading. He is naturally fond of literature and writes well. Xia Fan often reads her and my compositions to the whole class as model essays. Of course, her composition is different from mine. She often writes some sad stories with broken families as the background. At that time, it seemed very melodramatic to me, but I secretly admire her other articles with historical backgrounds.
After graduating from junior high school, I occasionally learned about her recent situation in correspondence with Xiaoke, and there was no other contact. 1999, she and Xiaoke were in Chengdu, and they often got together and their friendship deepened. At that time, Xiaoke and I chatted at my house all night, and Xiaoke talked about more and more communication with him. At that time, I secretly recalled their communication in junior high school, and felt that they had similar interests and complementary personalities (she could limit some aspects of Xiaoke), and they were a good couple. Later, I often secretly blessed them, but I was helpless and they couldn't walk. I feel deeply sorry and have a great resistance to Xiaoke's later girlfriend. Xiaoke even tried to "fix me up" with her in the past two years, but I always thought they were the most suitable.
After the Millennium, because of business, I had a short party with Tian and got to know her better. I deepened my initial impression that she is a rare idealist in the real society. She sticks to her ideals and herself and refuses to compromise, although she will pay a great price. Although it is extreme in some aspects (such as deliberately flaunting bad taste), she has been working hard and struggling. I agree with the idealist in my heart. I insist on myself and refuse to compromise with the secular easily, but I am more "cautious and independent". Compared with her, I struggle less. Her ideal is a lawyer, and she keeps learning for it; I am engaged in technical work and despise "notebook computers". Lawyers deal with secular "laws", and technology must of course follow the "laws" of mathematics, both of which are called "laws" in English. The former is often destroyed, but the latter is beyond human power. Therefore, I admire her persistence and her efforts!
Last summer, after Xiaoke and I dreamed that we would be "successful" in the future, "Scholar King", "Lawyer Week", "President Jiang Da" and "Engineer Xie Da" got together in a beautiful place. Zhou replied that "it is still possible", and the words are still in my ears. I don't want to dream. Alas!
Take this article to pay tribute to my classmate Zhou Shengtian.
Reprinted crazy on time: the last party
Yesterday at 3: 47 pm, I received a phone call from my mobile phone every day. At first it sounded like her voice: "Brother Xiaoke? I am my sister every day. " I was translating a paper at that time, but I didn't hear the word "de" clearly in my mind. I thought I was crazy every day, so I suddenly called my brother, and I replied, "Is your skull burned?" My cousin said it once every day, and I realized it. She told me, "I leave every day." My heart suddenly stopped beating. I subconsciously asked where I went every day, and when I got the answer, I asked her to repeat it. She listened to my long silence and comforted me on the other end of the phone. After hanging up the phone, I began to gasp for breath, about half an hour, or maybe only a few minutes. There is only the last sentence left in the paper at hand. I want to finish the work first, but after trying for a while, I find that I can't understand the meaning.
Before going to the funeral home, I judged my mental state and felt that I had it under control, so as not to make her parents more sad because of my excessive gaffes. Sunny summer in Chongqing. Blue sky and white clouds, clear sky and green hills. I once talked about Pan Yue's Song of Eternal Sorrow in an introduction to literature class: "Looking at the mountains, looking at the water, sweating." It turns out that the difference between imagination and feeling is so great. At that time, I didn't really understand this mentality.
What to write next? There's a lot to express. When I really need to write something, my mind is blank, including when I wanted to write elegiac couplets for every day yesterday, I couldn't say anything or write anything. I sat in this noisy internet cafe and wrote something about her. Anyway, I need to write it down.
Get a marriage certificate on June 25, and send a text message every day. I didn't receive her reply until the 28th, telling me that she was very ill and her platelets kept decreasing. She was once given a critical notice, and she just got better. According to Li Weiwei's memory, every day, he just came back from death, looking smug. After that, I texted her regularly, and she kept telling me the new review data. Sometimes it gets better, sometimes it is repeated, but the specific symptoms have not been diagnosed. I know that she was taken care of by her parents when she returned to Wansheng's home. She scolded her for not paying attention to her health and joked that if you don't pay attention to your health, you may be put in a box next time.
Fortunately, I finally saw her figure before she was put in the box. Many eyes. I went to the crystal coffin again and again, but only once did I fail to control my emotions and burst into tears.
I watched the funeral home staff make up for her. She lay there motionless, at the mercy of others I want to be strong all my life, and I am determined to control my own destiny. If she is conscious, she must hate this situation. For a moment, I even thought she was moving herself, as if to open her eyes.
If this happens, my first reaction must be to rush up and hug her and then give her a good scolding.
I am an only child every day. I have met her mother, but this is the first time my father has met her. Her father is a middle school Chinese teacher, strong and stubborn, and talented. He resembles Lu Xun in appearance, personality and even a single name. I know that every day is deeply influenced by her father, no matter how the world looks, it is good or bad. The old man is very strong and doesn't want to disturb others. With swollen eyes, he pretended to be relaxed and open to receive guests and arrange various matters. His daily personality is exactly the same as his.
The situation at night is much better than I expected. Many relatives are helping, and I am sure of the sincere sadness. There are not many classmates and friends who arrive one after another, but they are the only ones who care most about every day. She doesn't like excitement, and she usually appears passive and withdrawn, but once she recognizes a person, she is wholeheartedly. I think she will enjoy this last meeting. We sat around talking about the past, and Li Weiwei and other girls tried their best to make fun of it to make the atmosphere relaxed and happy. In the middle, because you, Yu Ting and others didn't have time to eat, and didn't want to bother your parents every day (although they were very thoughtful in preparing meals), we even drove to Wansheng's famous aunt to eat pot-stewed vegetables and drink beer. This is really like a party. Interestingly and absurdly, the six of us are not familiar with each other. Some of us have never met each other, but we talk about each other every day and know each other's situation and even private affairs like the back of our hands. In a sense, we are like friends who have known each other for many years. This situation is because every day is not lively, and several core friends take odd one-way contact. We have been friends for a long time, and we thought that the first meeting in reality was at the wedding every day.
I am in poor health every day, and I have had some minor blood problems since I was a child. Since the beginning of this year, she has had obvious symptoms, but she has been carrying it hard until June, when she fell ill alone in the rented room. She has many relatives in Chongqing. They have a good relationship, but she is a lonely guy who just doesn't want to disturb others and insists on living alone outside. After four days of illness, she couldn't help it, so she contacted her relatives and began to check for medical treatment. Everyone advised her to stay in Chongqing for hospitalization, but she insisted on going back to Wansheng's home to be taken care of by her parents. When I returned to Wansheng on July 15, I sent her a message saying that I wanted to see her. She replied that she would be busy reexamining in the hospital and wait for a few days. I'll call Ai Qing again when I have time. Thank you for understanding. This is her last news.
Every day, I am a doctor, and I attach great importance to the health of all my relatives and friends. Once someone has mild symptoms, I insist on going to the hospital for examination and treatment, and repeatedly warn everyone about the importance of health. My father has some cerebrovascular problems. She called to urge me to take my father to the hospital. Never delay. Only to herself. So ... A few days ago, she finally began to wake up and told us that she would learn from Tai Ji Chuan and exercise when she was ready. however ...
I stood beside her and watched her for a long time before her body was sent to the cremator. Many broken fragments are flying in the brain like tiny ice chips, and it hurts faintly.
1992 when we first met, we were often bullied by her, pricked with compasses, pricked with nails and scratched with nails. I was very angry and gave her the title of "bitch", but soon I fell in love with each other because of my similar literary interests.
What impressed me most in the junior high school guest book was her ideal: to be a lawyer and speak for all the people in the world who can't speak.
1998 At noon on July 5th, two days before the college entrance examination, I reviewed at school. She and Xia Ran and I stayed in an empty classroom and talked about my outlook on life and ideals. Her distinctive personality and potential confusion are vivid in my mind. Yes, I didn't pay attention to the latter at that time, but I will remember it clearly after many years.
On my 18 birthday, she gave me a vase (although it was inferior), which contained many hand-folded paper cranes and lucky stars, and attached a poem praised by my father many times. This vase is on my desk now. After decades, no matter where my desk is, it will still be on my desk.
At 0 o'clock on June 65438+10/October 65438+0 o'clock in 2000, she and I spent thousands of years in Chengdu. We walked from Jiuyanqiao to Tianfu Square, and both of us were in a hurry. When the Millennium bell rang, we were looking for toilets all over the world. Almost equally intoxicated with the pleasure of deconstruction, and then whenever we talk about it, we all laugh.
At the beginning of this century, when she was in college, she wrote many novels, mainly published under the banyan tree. The theme of the plot is similar, that is, through the emotional entanglement between men and women and the disillusionment of love, it reveals the unreliability of love and the operation of life. I kept all her works that I have seen (and every letter she wrote to me). According to Li Weiwei, her first novel in junior high school expressed a similar idea.
On August 25th, 2005, my birthday, when she was depressed because she was betrayed by a caring friend, she called me. According to her, she heard my cell phone connected at that time, and then prompted me to hang up the phone, and then turned it off after calling again. She was very sad and angry, and secretly decided to wait until her birthday on September 8 to forgive me for calling to apologize. However, I only sent a short message wishing her a happy birthday. When she saw it, she deleted it and decided to remove me from her heart. By the end of that year, I gradually realized her indifference during the call, and I didn't know the reason until I repeatedly asked. As a matter of fact, I was in the South China Sea on my birthday, so my mobile phone can't have a signal. I could only communicate with the outside world through the satellite phone on board, and the next day I returned to land by helicopter. I explained to her that she didn't want to believe it, saying that she would rather believe the tip of the mobile phone: "People can lie, but machines can't." I was so anxious that I cried on the phone (humiliating my mother again) that I almost rushed back to CNOOC to open a unit certificate. She said that although she still didn't believe me, she didn't care anymore. Fortunately, our friendship has become stronger since then. You son of a bitch, do you believe me now?
After graduating from medical school, she denounced the darkness of the hospital, insisted on finding her own ideal, and changed her major to take a postgraduate examination in law. Due to poor economic conditions, she gave up the opportunity to go to the hospital, took part in the postgraduate entrance examination while working in Pizza Hut, and finally failed because of her poor English. I called her childish many times before and after this incident, but in the end I couldn't change her mind, just like anything else. Later, she was forced to become a doctor in the hospital. This is the poorest "white wolf" I have ever seen in my life, and it's even stupider than Big Wolf. A guy who insists on refusing all gray income and often meets poorer patients and helps people buy lunch boxes, if he is also rich, it is unreasonable.
On July 15, the day I came back, she got up and went out to buy red envelopes for wedding gifts, and prepared to give them to me when she was ready. She has been avoiding secular etiquette, so she asked Sanbo to find a place to sell red envelopes. This is the last thing I know she did when she was awake. It was very hot that night, and her air conditioner just broke down, so she turned on the electric fan all night and began to have a headache and vomit. The next morning, she began to struggle painfully, accidentally fell out of bed and fell into a deep coma (there should be no pain, that's good). I was taken to the hospital and found intracranial cerebellar hemorrhage. Because of the platelet problem, the blood that was transfused immediately flowed out. By the afternoon of June 5438+07 1 40, the pupil had spread, and under the persuasion of the doctor, the family finally accepted this fact. Her cousin Wu Qi said that her eyes were always open and could not be closed. Wu Qi told her that relatives would take care of her parents and gradually close their eyes every day, and tears slowly flowed out. I have a short message from her in July 10 on my mobile phone: "I have always been very open-minded about life and death, but I am worried about my parents' feelings, and I am always afraid that the exam results will disappoint them. Just like today, when they saw the platelet rise from 2 to 24, they couldn't believe it at all and always wondered if there was a mistake. I am very sad and distressed. Really, I want to cry now. "In retrospect, I have never seen her cry since I met her. I had hoped to see this strong guy cry, and then proudly laughed at her: You are today, too. However, I also missed this last chance.
I don't think I can write anymore.
Yes, every day, you fucking rest in peace. Of course, I welcome you to harass me once in a while. I swear before your spirit that I will take you as a warning, be a hypocritical villain and fight the damn world to the end.
Ps:
I have been a classmate and my best friend since I was a child. I hope I can do something for her after this misfortune. A friend happened to be in a publishing house, and we discussed publishing her posthumous works with booksellers in Hong Kong and Taiwan, and all the proceeds went to her parents. She is an only child, and her parents are in a poor financial situation, so it may be a problem to support the elderly. If the expectation of commercial publication is not very good, I also hope that I can help her publish non-commercial commemorative anthology at my own expense.
Looking down all the way, I saw that she gave up publishing because she refused to change the article. I also saw that when she was in hospital, her blood transfusion was delayed all day because she was short of 5000 yuan at home. I also saw her cousin say that she refused to close her eyes after she died. She closed her eyes when all her relatives said that she would take care of her parents.
My strength is weak, but it is also a kind of strength. You can't stop doing it just because you are weak. I hope all the friends who read this blog post, if you are looking at beautiful women, one day you will see the book "Stealing Love in a Floating Life" published, please buy a copy, remember, buy a genuine one! Although her parents are poor, they never accept donations. )
Conclusion:
Floating life, I don't want the sharpness of your sober Minhui, I just want your stupid and ignorant happiness.
Sometimes I think it's good for her to be like this. Seeing her in the world of mortals and insisting on living in her own way all her life, I feel that it is she who is really happy, but unfortunately, it is us.