Only intimacy, no passion and commitment, such as friendship. Obviously, friendship is not love, and liking is not equal to love. But it is still possible for friendship to develop into love, although some people lose friendship because of the failure of love.
The second is infatuated love:
Only passion, no intimacy and commitment, such as first love. First love is always full of passion, but it lacks maturity and stability. It is a kind of youth activity guided by instinct. We all have this experience: our hearts are pounding and our hands are shaking. This may be because of fear, anxiety or joy. Physically, they are all similar emotional experiences. When we are in a pleasant environment, we take this "physiological activation" experience as joy; And when we are in a dangerous and hostile environment, we will experience this victory as fear or anger; When we are in a romantic situation, then we call this experience "passionate love".
The third is empty love.
Only commitment, lack of intimacy and passion, such as love purely for marriage. This kind of "love" looks full, but it lacks the necessary content, happy ever after.
The fourth is romantic love.
Only passion and intimacy, no commitment. This kind of "love" advocates the process and doesn't care about the result.
The fifth is the love of partners.
Only intimacy and commitment, no passion. Just like empty love, can love without passion be called love? This refers to a stable marriage with only rights and obligations and no feelings. Companion's love is different from the enthusiasm of passionate love, it is deeper and more peaceful, and it is an emotional attachment like real life. The initial flame of love will slowly cool down and remain in that state-warm and interdependent.
The sixth is stupid love.
Only passion and commitment, no intimacy. Passion without intimacy is a physical impulse at best, and commitment without intimacy is just a blank check.
The seventh kind is complete American love.
It contains passion, commitment and intimacy. Only in this type can we see the true face of love.
The first element: intimacy.
Intimacy is an experience in which two people feel close and warm. Simply put, it can bring people a warm feeling experience. Intimacy includes 10 basic elements:
1, eager to promote the happiness of the person you love. The lover takes care of the lover actively and promotes his/her happiness together. On the one hand, you may promote each other's happiness at the expense of your own happiness-but you also expect them to do the same when necessary.
I feel happy when I am with the person I love. Lovers like to be with lovers.
When they do things together, they all feel very happy and leave good memories. In difficult times, memories of these good times can be comfort and strength. And the good times shared by * * * will flow into the mutual love relationship and make it better.
4. Respect each other. Couples must value and respect each other very much. Although lovers may be aware of each other's weaknesses, they cannot reduce their respect for each other as a whole. Be able to rely on each other in times of difficulty. In times of difficulty, the lover still feels that the other person is standing with himself. In times of crisis, a lover can call each other and expect them to help him in the same boat.
5. Understand each other with the people you love. Couples should understand each other. They know their own advantages and disadvantages, understand each other's feelings and emotions, and know how to respond to each other in a corresponding way.
6. Share yourself and your property with the people you love. A lover should be willing to give himself, his time and his things to his lover. Although not everything is * * * property, both parties should share their own finances when necessary, and the most important thing is to share themselves.
7. Accept your lover's emotional support. Love can get encouragement and support from the loved one and feel refreshed, especially in adversity. When you feel as if everything is against you, you realize that there is only one thing that can't go wrong-your spouse will always stand with you. Then you will know that your relationship has this factor.
8. Give your lover emotional support. In adversity, the loving party should be closely connected with the loved one in spirit and give emotional support.
9. Communicate sincerely with your lover. A lover can communicate deeply and frankly with his lover and share his affection. When you are embarrassed by what you have done, you can still have a heart-to-heart conversation with the person you love. This is the kind of communication you have experienced.
10, cherish the person you love. Love should fully feel the importance of each other in life. When you realize that your spouse is more important than all your material wealth, you know that you cherish and cherish the people you love.
The second element: passion.
Passion is a "state of intense desire to combine with each other". Generally speaking, there will be a feeling of heartache when we meet, and an exciting experience when we get along. Sexual need is the dominant form of arousing passion, and other self-esteem, care, belonging, domination and obedience are also the sources of arousing passion experience.
The third element: commitment.
Commitment includes two aspects: short-term and long-term
1, the short-term aspect is to make a decision whether to love someone or not.
2, the long-term aspect is to make a commitment to maintain this love relationship, including loyalty and responsibility for love. That is, "I do!" in the wedding vows. , is a kind of adversity and * * *, till death do us part.
Both are not necessarily available at the same time. For example, if you decide to love someone, you are not necessarily willing to take responsibility or make a promise; Or you may decide to love him/her for life, but you may not say it.
"Intimacy can be considered as most of the emotional input from the relationship, but not all; Passion can be thought of as motivated participation mainly from relationships, but not entirely. Commitment can be regarded as a kind of decision and loyalty, which mostly comes from cognition in the relationship "(Sternberg).
Intimacy is warm, passion is warm, and commitment is calm.
According to this theory, love can be divided into eight types:
No love: none of the three factors are available. Many arranged marriages fall into this category.
Like: only intimacy. I feel comfortable together, but I feel lack of passion and don't necessarily want to be together for life.
Infatuated love: only passionate experience. I think the other side is very attractive. Besides, I don't know much about each other and I haven't thought about the future.
Empty love: only promise.
Romantic love: intimate relationship and passionate experience, no commitment.
Intimacy and commitment, lack of passion.
Stupid love: passion and commitment, but no intimacy.
Perfect love: it has three elements at the same time.