What advice can you give to 20-year-olds?

No chicken soup. I personally think that for an ordinary person, at least for the vast majority of people, the golden accumulation period in life is only a few years, roughly around the age of 18 to 25. This is the transition period for a person from immaturity to relative maturity. Later, due to various trivial matters in life such as getting married and having children, the speed of growth and progress gradually slowed down. If we can grasp the accumulation period well, I believe there will be qualitative changes.

The following is my personal sentiment, which becomes more important as it goes forward. I am not training the richest man, so the whole article is simple and easy to understand. There are no empty words or theorems. If you are in this confused period, it is recommended that you take a few minutes to read this article and do not understand it out of context. I believe it will be helpful to you.

I hope more people will correct their direction and be kind to themselves.

1. Refuse to stay up late and maintain a reasonable schedule.

The reason why I put it at the first point is because this is a common problem for many people and it is difficult to restrain themselves. They will never put down their mobile phones until two or three in the morning, and they can’t get up the next morning. Day after day. One day.

Staying up late not only damages the skin, but also induces gastrointestinal diseases and increases the risk of cancer, which is no different from chronic suicide.

My mother often sends me articles on WeChat such as "The dangers of staying up late are shocking after reading them!" "Eating these ten foods can cause cancer." When people reach middle age, they realize that nothing is more important than their body.

If you go around the various departments of the hospital, you will find that those scenes in TV dramas of hugging one's head and crying, parting and death are really normal in hospitals.

Accept the concerns of your parents in advance and develop good work and rest habits. Don’t wait until you feel pain to learn to respect life.

2. If you don’t know what to do, just do some fitness first!

If you are still confused about the future and don’t know where to go. Then put down what you are doing, click on some exciting music, start exercising immediately, and let all your worries go away with sweat.

Because fitness is really the only thing in the world that is known to be the fairest thing in which you will get something if you pay. Since you can’t do anything well, why not experience the feeling of success in fitness first?

Don’t have time to run? Do you have time to jog for half an hour every morning? If you can do the first thing, you will have time.

Don’t have time to go to the gym? There are so many fitness apps on mobile phones, which one can’t be used? The cheap yoga mats on Taobao cost 20 yuan and dumbbells cost 60 yuan. The cost is less than 100 yuan, which is enough to make your muscles explode. A set of training lasts for half an hour. Don't masturbate while squatting on the toilet. Isn't the time gone?

Fitness changes not only a person’s body and appearance, but also shapes a person’s spirit. And a good mental outlook is precisely the first step to good interpersonal communication.

3. Cherish time and learn to manage time.

This is something that only people in their thirties can understand. The older I get, the more I feel that I don’t have enough time, and I wish I had more twenty-four hours a day.

How to make better use of time, in one sentence: focus on doing big things, spread out small things, and do trivial things in between.

Be clear-minded about what to do when and don’t put the cart before the horse.

In addition, things are divided into priorities. For details, please refer to the four quadrants of time management.

4. Properly handle interpersonal relationships

Anger is one of the few failures in this world. Everything is written on the face, but the face is not big enough. All the emotions that cannot be written down are hidden, only the smile is left.

Make more friends with useful people, repay those who treat you well, and don’t mess with those you hate. Be diplomatic and try not to offend anyone. You never know what role he (will) play in your life.

Examples of thirty years in Hedong and thirty years in Hexi can be found everywhere in life. ?Step back when encountering problems and use empathy and empathy to solve problems.

Note for people with a please-pleaser personality: Due to your own personality, you always live in the expectations of others, chasing others' recognition of you, constantly lowering your own bottom line, and meeting the reasonable or even unreasonable demands of others. But you didn't get the rewards you deserved. In this kind of unequal interpersonal communication, your efforts were taken for granted. Even a single rejection caused dissatisfaction from others, and many favors turned into resentments. So, before you learn to behave tactfully, please learn to say no politely, stick to the bottom line on issues of principle, and keep your dignity.

5. Never deceive yourself.

There is an interesting phenomenon around me. Excellent people have something to say, but those who are not doing well like to flaunt themselves.

Those with low work efficiency said they worked hard overtime, while those who were not serious about studying said they stayed up late to study.

Some people make up their minds and start a library, learn piano, practice calligraphy, write programs... they are busy from morning to night, but what is the reality? Most of my time is spent scrolling through Weibo and Zhihu, and I go to the toilet to blow off water. Less than 20% of the time I actually work hard

Within a few days, I happily posted on my friends circle saying how hard I worked. He turned around and treated himself to a big meal and took a short vacation, but in the end all his efforts were in vain.

All things are born in the vast sea, and you and I are all mayflies. Recognize your own level. It is understandable to pretend to be cool in front of others, but if you exaggerate, you must realize it. Don't repeat it over and over again, and finally deceive yourself.

A message: People are inevitably born with self-pity. Only by staying awake at all times can we see clearly where the real value lies.

6. Improve work standards

Students may have less exposure to the word standard. What are standards?

There is an old story that everyone must have heard. Two young people, A and B, entered a company at the same time. Both of them worked diligently and efficiently. But two years later, A was promoted step by step, but B was still where he was. The boss asked B to go to the market twice. B once reported the potato price, and the second time reported the bulk purchase price. The boss asked A to go there again in front of B. A not only understood the price of potatoes, but also collected all the prices of cabbage, cucumbers, sweet potatoes, etc. He also learned that the price of tomatoes will increase slightly in the near future. If the boss needs to make a big increase, To purchase goods in batches, people have already been invited to the door of the company.

The above story is not necessarily true and may be exaggerated. Let me tell you another little story. My eldest cousin used to be the city secretary-general. When I was a kid, senior leaders came to the city. When he needed to be personally involved, I saw him correcting typos and punctuation marks over and over in documents. The phone numbers jotted down on a piece of paper must be neatly cut with a guillotine machine before being handed over to the leader.

Now let me tell you, what is a standard?

The standard is to be reliable in doing things. The leader will tell you something, and the specific implementation is decided by the individual. After the task is completed and the leader is satisfied, even if the work standards are met, it would be better if there are surprises beyond the leader's psychological threshold.

The vast majority of people are B in the story. They don’t know how to adapt, or are afraid of taking on more work. If you get a salary of 3,000 yuan to do a job of 3,000 yuan, then you will be the standard of 3,000 yuan for the rest of your life. How will your boss evaluate you? There are only four words that can stand up to the sky: be down-to-earth and work hard; but if you are a person who gets a salary of 3,000 to do a job of 10,000 yuan, and the position of 10,000 yuan is vacant and needs talents to fill it, who will be replaced if you are not allowed? Let that B?

7. Have the confidence to kill all the flowers after they bloom

This suggestion may be controversial, so read it based on your personal circumstances.

After I bloom, a hundred flowers will kill me. This poem has always been one of my life's slogans.

Seeing this, I tell you that I used to be a shy and unsociable person. Do you believe it? When I gave a speech for the first time, I was blushing and stammering. I read the manuscript mechanically. After I got off the stage, I was so confused that I had no idea what I said. Later, yes, my eldest cousin was on camera again. When he learned about this, he pulled me and said: My child, feel free to express what you want to say in the future, but just remember, no one in this world can control you. How about it!

Live a low-key life and do things in a high-profile manner. Even if you start your performance, you must experience setbacks and embarrassments in the process. Don't care about other people's opinions. No one in this world will do anything to you.

8. Expand your thinking, take a long-term view, and view everything dialectically

I say handle interpersonal relationships tactfully, but some people say that work will inevitably offend others.

I say be a low-key person and do things in a high-key manner. No one in this world will do anything to you. Some people say that it is not good to be too arrogant.

I say be wary of fragmented reading. Some people say that fragmented reading can also acquire knowledge.

Most young people face the same problem. They are brainwashed by the guidance of online public opinion media. They lack mature and independent views and their understanding of things is not comprehensive enough. All black and white are in my eyes, but there are more grays in my eyes.

Everything must be divided into right and wrong, especially in life, when you are criticized and think that others are deliberately targeting you.

The world is not binary, nor is it black and white. The cause of an event is caused by many factors and needs to be viewed dialectically.

9. Master a skill and learn to manage money.

These two points are written together.

First of all, people need to have a skill as a foundation. So to what extent does this skill need to be developed?

The benefits generated can meet the needs of life.

For example, in computers, it is a pity to throw away the Level 4 certificate if it is tasteless. For those who work in the computer industry, a Level 4 certificate is completely insufficient. If you want to make money with this, it will be a big mistake.

When learning a skill, it should take at least five years to start. Don’t think that you can learn something in a short time, and don’t do several things at the same time, biting off more than you can chew. I support the development of multiple skills, but please also remember that if a person can do one thing well for a lifetime, he will be great.

There is nothing to say about financial management, just four words: increase revenue and reduce expenditure.

Your skills haven’t been honed yet, so what are you going to do with open source? Pinpoint the needs of certain people, which may be daily needs or needs arising from special holidays. I won’t go into details about this part. There are many articles on Zhihu sharing entrepreneurial experiences.

As for saving money, it all depends on personal will. There are so many accounting software on mobile phones. Next, look at how much you earn in a month and how much you spend.

Off topic: Don’t borrow big money! Don’t borrow big money! Don’t borrow big money! Don't ask me why (angry face)

10. Be sincere and grateful

Many people may not pay attention to this, but it is what I want to say most.

Even if I use my sincerity to risk my life for you at any time, be kind to everyone around you, those who love you, those you love, and your parents.

Times have changed, and the previous generation has gradually been unable to keep up with today’s pace of life and way of thinking. The only thing they want is for their children to have a smooth life. We should try our best to take a step back from the contradictions caused by our way of thinking.

The older you get, the more you miss the time when you lived under the wings of your parents. Treat them well. Don't let the next late night be used to repent for your disobedience to your parents.

Don’t rush away when you see this, take the spoon (no, I’m not making chicken soup (?ˇ_ˇ?:)).

Problems faced and solutions

Go to bed at a regular time, turn off your phone and put it out of reach before going to bed, and set an alarm clock for getting up.

Friends with strong self-control can make good use of mobile phone memos, scheduling apps or carry a small notepad with them to develop the habit of taking notes. If you have poor self-control, it is recommended to buy a handbook, record the next day's plans in detail the night before, and check the implementation the next night (please remember not to browse the handbook, otherwise you will accidentally fall into the handbook trap, you can record it in ten minutes) The content will probably take you an hour to draw).

Well, seeing this, many people are facing some problems. (1) What should I do if I am hot for three minutes? (2) What should I do if the environment limits me? (3) Why work hard?

(1) First of all, think clearly, the moment you decide to work hard, it means that you have to give up your current comfort and leisure, give up lol, dota, ow, wow... There is no point in giving up. Flirting and chatting, as well as carnival nightlife. As mentioned above, you buy books, handbooks, and dumbbells, learn musical instruments, learn art, learn photography, learn pattern making, and take the postgraduate entrance examination and IELTS. The roommates' jaws dropped in shock. Damn it, bro, why did you suddenly become a good person? Where was the brother on the top bunk bed who was the king of sex together?

Are you miserable? miserable!

Having sacrificed so much, you have to let others know that you are working hard!

Then you will definitely show the determination of a strong man to cut off his wrist, and the courage to be a millionaire. You were making a big show of your performance, like a Taoist priest who was shouting to change your destiny and survive the catastrophe. Everyone was looking at you and wanted to start your performance, but at this time you couldn't hold it in and said you wanted to give up halfway. One breath of life, are you sorry? Is it acceptable in terms of face?

You are a man, grit your teeth and hold on for me.

(2) Whether it is a dormitory, a shared apartment, or an office. If you are surrounded by people who stay up late surfing the Internet, blowjob and masturbate, fight landlords at work, and don’t wear socks until they shine, they don’t wash them.

Then let me tell you, brother, I understand your difficulties, and I came here the same way. There's no fucking way to learn in a place where laziness is the root of this. I thought you were pretending when I was reading, I thought you were noisy when practicing piano, and I kept you up all night when the exam was about to begin. As time goes on, I will gradually become slacker.

Human beings are creatures that easily drift with the crowd. Moreover, when you have just started working hard and have not yet firmed up your beliefs, you are more likely to be shaken. If you can't change the environment, change yourself. Find a quiet place and practice alone. One day you will come back with a certificate, or you can play the skylark on the violin smoothly at a gala. Only then will they be surprised that you are already so powerful.

(3) I have no reason to work hard. I like to live an ordinary life. This is probably the lie I hear the most. Stop paralyzing yourself with ordinary life. What is ordinary life? Only when you reach the level of moderate prosperity can you call ordinary life, and moderate prosperity means middle class. Look at what you look like now. Can you buy a house or a car, marry a wife and have children, take care of your parents, and still be able to afford serious illness without relying on your parents?

If you don’t work hard for your parents, can you work hard for your children? Nowadays, the class is gradually solidifying. Because of its own lack of strength, it cannot provide a better educational environment for future generations. Are you willing for them to be confined to the working class for the rest of their lives? If you don't care about these, at least work hard for your future.

Not willing? So do you like to show off? If you like it, just work hard, otherwise there's no point in showing off.

Go now!

Also, a paragraph for singles:

What should I do if I still don’t have a girlfriend? Stop looking for me, brother! Look at those male idols with good family backgrounds, good studies, and beautiful girlfriends. Hey, I’m so angry.

Falling in love takes up more time than you expected. If you have no relationship experience, you will only be extremely busy. Spending parents' hard-earned money, the person who should break up will still be the scorer in graduation season. Investment and income are not proportional at all. If you have already lost a lot, don't think about falling in love, otherwise the gap will only get wider and wider.

Throw away your unrealistic fantasies, delete hookup apps as soon as possible, give yourself time to grow, and become a hero before she gets married. It’s still unclear who will win by then.

If you do not consider realistic factors, you must force yourself to have a girlfriend.

Finally.

The above suggestions are just suggestions, and how to carry out them depends entirely on your personal decision.

Humans are not machines, and they cannot keep spinning. Just relax yourself a little, work very hard and use 60 to 70%, and see results in continuous progress, which is not bad. If you take 60% and then cut off 20% to 30% of your efforts, it will really become laziness, neglecting time, and even letting yourself down.

Before you make an effort, you feel scared and wavering in your heart. You encourage yourself that a person who knows why he lives can endure any kind of life. Until you manage your life carefully and look at yourself full of energy every day, you will know that a relaxed and moderate life after reasonable planning is truly addictive.

Finally, I will share with you a method of reading books. If you are interested, you can take a look.

This is a senior’s point of view. I have always adhered to it in reading books in the past few years and found it very useful. Share it with everyone here.

Reading is like eating, which is divided into three categories. Meals, fruits (desserts), snacks.

1). Main meals

A person’s main daily energy intake comes from three meals a day, which is a rigid demand. What can help with study and work is dinner. For example, preparing for language proficiency exams, taking the CCIE exam, taking the first-level construction exam... then related books are what is needed right now. It must occupy your entire study time and all other reading plans must make way for it, otherwise it will be a waste of time.

How to eat dinner? Chew slowly and digest thoroughly.

2). Fruits (desserts)

The definition of this type of book is very broad, but it is also easy to understand. Everything is used to supplement one's own level, including cultivating one's literary and artistic flair, supplementing knowledge, and laying the foundation for future planning. All are listed here.

Recommendation: If you want to cultivate a poetic and literary temperament, you must keep reading literature, history and other books throughout.

There are professional categories, which lay the foundation for future development or books with strong knowledge, which can be read intensively in leisure time.

Browse only the best books on biography, life, philosophy and life. It is not advisable to read too many books.

How to eat fruit? Pay attention to eating small amounts and frequent meals, but do not eat more than a regular meal, let alone chew repeatedly.

3). Snacks and late night snacks.

Pulp novels, gossip news, comics, magazines.

Just like spicy strips and instant noodles cannot be eaten as food, these kinds of books can be read while squatting in the toilet, but reading too much is useless.

Why are you asking me how to eat snacks? How else do you want to eat? If you can't help it, don't eat it. If you eat too much, you'll have to wait until you go to the hospital!

Special note:

Be wary of fragmented reading! Beware of fragmented reading! Beware of fragmented reading!

The only use of fragmented reading is that when a few people are chatting, you can boast a lot of awesome things that others have never heard of, but other than that, you gain little!

Don’t learn some psychology today, but look at economics tomorrow. Think back to the knowledge you have browsed online. How much can you remember? Of the articles you saved in your favorites, which you said you would read when you have time, how many of them have you read? Are some of them now even unable to open the links?

Having said so much, some people may want to ask, how many percent have you actually achieved: if everything is fully implemented, it’s about 80%.

We can walk slowly, but we will never retreat.

Be impatient while you are young.