I dressed up to attend the wedding of Zhang Ruixiang and Miss Chen. Zhang Ruixiang was wearing a royal blue suit, and the bride was wearing a white wedding dress with a large skirt. The two of them stood at the door with smiles on their faces, greeting people who came and went to congratulate them. Chen Xiaoxi has a kind face, I think she will make him happy. I walked up to the bride, hugged her hard, and whispered in her ear, you must be happy, girl. She hugged me back politely and said to me, Xingxing, thank you for your blessing, Ruixiang and I will be happy. Zhang Ruixiang stood there blankly, watching the two women we were not familiar with warmly hugging each other, and then came over and hugged me. Then he said coquettishly, "Hey, Xingxing, I've been waiting for you!" I thought you fucking forgot about me! I pushed him away with a "disgusted" look on my face, turned around and said to Ms. Chen next to me, please take good care of your pet dog and don't let him bite anyone at will. Then they strode into the palace of their happiness.
Zhang Ruixiang and I are childhood sweethearts. We grew up naked together. His mother is a frequent visitor to our house. My mother is a shopping friend. If it weren’t for today’s modern society, we would definitely have gotten married. Baby kiss. In kindergarten, the two of us were the top bullies in the class, below the teacher and above the class. At that time, he always held my hand and told others everywhere that her name is Zhao Xingxing, she is my own little Xingxing, and no one of you is allowed to bully her. At that time, adults would always tease him and say, Ruixiang, would it be good to marry Little Xingxing in the future? Thinking about it later, that was the only time when Zhang Ruixiang loved me more than I loved him. In junior high school and primary school, we were the only boys and girls sitting at the same table in the class, because the teacher completely regarded us as brothers and sisters, and he was too naughty, no one dared to sit at the same table with him. I remember when school first started, he smeared the stool of his first deskmate besides me with correction fluid. As a result, that boy’s buttocks were covered with white liquid. Although the teacher tried every means to persuade him and Zhang Ruixiang apologized, the boy refused to sit with him. From then on, no one wanted to sit at the same table with him. I became his longest roommate in history. In high school, although we were still in the same school, we were no longer in the same class. I was in the liberal arts class on the fifth floor, and he was in the science class on the first floor. What hasn't changed is that he still waits for me to come home from school every day. No matter what questions I have, he will be there for me immediately.
One night, we were walking as usual, and I was chattering about various things that happened during the day. He suddenly interrupted me and said, Xingxing, I can’t walk with you in the future. . Because I fell in love with Yang Yaxin from our class, and she agreed to date me, so I had to send her home every day. I was startled for a moment, and immediately patted his shoulder boldly, pretending to be surprised and said, I'll go, Zhang Ruixiang, you can find a fucking girlfriend. You must go home today to burn incense and pay homage to your ancestors. Thank them for their apparitions. He scolded me and said, "Fuck you sister, you think everyone is like you, you are so blind." There are many girls like me who admire me. But seriously, can you do it yourself? I laughed, I could finally be clean, and I no longer had to worry about not having enough roasted sweet potatoes. Hahaha, it’s wonderful to think about it. From that day on, we really never went home together again. What he didn't know was that I cried for a long time when I went home that day. Because in my heart, I always thought that we would go on like this, and I have always been his little star. We fell in love in college, got married after graduation, bought a big house in the city I like, and had a baby. Children, we go to get off work and cook together every day. However, life is often beyond our control, nor does it run according to our wishes. Faced with life, we have too much powerlessness.
In my senior year of high school, I lived on campus and he broke up, but we could never walk that night together again. Because of my busy schedule, I didn’t see each other very often. But once he left me a message and said, I am going to a city with a sea. And you? I deleted and shortened my reply to him, and finally only replied four words, letting things take their own course. On the day when the college entrance examination ended, the two of us sat on the curb, drinking beer while listening to him scold how perverted this year’s exam questions were. I originally had a lot to say to him that day, but when I saw him, I didn’t know what to say. Just give him a pat on the back at the end and be nice, no matter what. On the day after he finished filling in his application, he sent me his application. They are all about the South, and there is a sentence attached at the end, he said, she likes the South. I no longer know who the woman he mentioned is. Just thinking about it, it should be very important to him. Otherwise, why would he go to the south, which he has hated the most since childhood? You know, he has never been able to eat spicy food, and he will have eczema in summer. I crumpled the filled-in volunteers into paper balls, and my mother said, didn’t I say I like cities with seas? Why did you change your choice again? I smiled. As for studying the Fa, Beijing, Shanghai and Guangzhou will be more developed. So, I went to Beijing. And Zhang Ruixiang went to Hunan.
At the college entrance banquet, I toasted from table to table, said thank you, listened to everyone’s blessings, and finally drank it down. Aunt Zhang asked Ruixiang to help me to the guest room. I clung to Ruixiang like a koala and kept telling him, Zhang Ruixiang, you must be happy. Then I fell asleep in a daze, and after that, I didn’t know what happened. I just heard from my mother that I cried for a long time that day. They thought it was because I needed to relieve the pressure after the college entrance examination, so they didn't pay much attention to it.
After sobering up, I logged into Zhang Ruixiang’s account and posted the first and last blog post.
Goodbye, my former favorite.
I once read a story. The first sentence of the story said that after falling in love and being heartbroken, you should wake up. This is for those who have loved and cannot wake up.
Once upon a time, there was a scholar who made an appointment with his fiancée to get married on a certain day of a certain month and year. On that day, the fiancée married someone else. The scholar was deeply affected by this and became ill. The family tried all kinds of methods but were unable to do anything, and they were dying.
At this time, a traveling monk passed by, learned about the situation, and decided to enlighten her. The monk came to his bed, took out a mirror from his arms and asked the scholar to look at it.
The scholar saw the vast sea and a murdered woman lying naked on the beach.
A person passed by, took a look, shook his head, and left...
Another person passed by, took off his clothes, covered the female body, and left...
Another person passed by, went over, dug a hole, and carefully buried the body...
In doubt, the screen switched. The scholar saw his fiancée. There were flowers and candles in the wedding room, and the moment her husband lifted her hijab.
The scholar doesn’t know why.
The monk explained: The female corpse on the beach is your fiancée’s previous life. You were the second person who passed by and gave her a piece of clothing. She falls in love with you in this life just to repay your love. But the person she ultimately wants to repay all her life is the person who helped her to be buried, and that person is her current husband.
……
Too many things in life are destined. Facing the arrangement of fate, I think I am too small and too weak. I can't let time stop at that time when it was just the two of us, and I can't let someone who doesn't love you fall in love with me. There are too many things that I can't do, and there are very few things that I can do well. Now it is destined that you and I will be separated from each other. No matter how we have nothing to do with each other, I can only follow the direction of time and keep moving forward. The fate between us is so shallow that it is not even the fate between the two of us, because we have never really loved each other. I think you will never meet someone who loves you as much as I do. Maybe she will love you more than I do, or maybe she will not love you as much as I do, but you will never meet someone like me again, someone who loves you so deeply. I love you to the core but am ready to leave at any time, but when fate is here, how can I force you. I know that you who make me look forward to tomorrow will never appear in my tomorrow again. I wish you happiness. My dear Mr. Zhang
Since then, I have never logged into this QQ. Maybe I don't dare, maybe I can't bear it. We are two very similar people, we are confident to the point of being arrogant, and we never speak properly when we have something to say, so we are destined to miss each other. I put away all my willful sadness, packed my bags, and rushed to a distant place alone. He was wandering in his south, and I was living a lonely and peaceful life in the north. I don't think I will ever love someone as much as I love him. I like temples, and the three wishes I make every time I go to the temple remain the same. One is that I wish my family to be safe and happy. Secondly, I wish Zhang Ruixiang to be safe and happy. Three wishes, nothing to miss in life.
I would occasionally hear news about him in the alumni group, and I would also chat online regularly, but the conversations were all about insignificant topics, such as which classmate got married to which classmate, and which classmate had a baby. A child. Finally one day, he asked me, are you still single? I said, yes, what about you? Are you okay? He said, I am getting married. I sent a smiling emoticon wishing you happiness. Can I go to your wedding? He said, of course, how about you be the bridesmaid. I just declined.
The wedding march sounded, and I watched them slowly coming hand in hand, and my vision still couldn’t help but become blurred. Although many years have passed and we are no longer young, I think I still feel this way. The relationship I have not yet started is still lingering in my heart. After all, she has been my fantasy marriage partner since I was a child. The bride and groom exchanged vow rings and expressed their feelings. Xiaoxi said, I want to thank myself for my bravery, and also thank him for accompanying me for many years. I will take good care of Ruixiang and his family until they grow old. After finishing speaking, I burst into tears. Ruixiang said, I want to thank Xiaoxi for forgiving me, loving me and accompanying me. I want to say to her, I love you and I will protect you forever. I will love her and be loyal to her all my life. It turns out that the most common oath in the world sounds so beautiful coming from his mouth.
When I got home, I logged into my QQ account, which I hadn’t logged in for a long time, and left a message for myself.
It turns out that he read the diary carefully.
He also commented, What a coincidence, my surname is also Zhang. Although I don’t know which lucky boy you like so much, I hope you can be happy.
……
There are too many unpredictable and irreversible things in life, so don’t give up when we can confess, so don’t wait until later when we can fall in love. Living is something that requires courage. So we might as well have more courage, confess our love to the person we want to be with, and be with the person we want to be happy with. Goodbye, Ruixiang. Goodbye, my youth.