Don’t speak out if you are stupid. If others misunderstand, let them misunderstand. Be yourself. There are some things that must be done against one's own character and one's own wishes, but the gains outweigh the losses and things are counterproductive. According to your description, you care too much about everything. If you care too much, you will lose it. Make yourself confident and be yourself. After all, there will be people who appreciate you. If you lose yourself, you will lose everything.

Even if it is your boyfriend, you should not accommodate him. Your accommodation does not mean that you can control him!