1. I have three things to say to you, including the following sentence. Thank you. I have finished.

2. I miss you so much. When can I see you? Thinking about you makes me unable to sleep at night, tossing and turning, unable to fall asleep, and unable to sleep at night. Is it time to pay back the money you lent me?

3. You have a kind heart, and you will selflessly help everyone in need in this world. Everyone says that you are an angel from heaven who comes to earth to help others. Unfortunately, your face Landed first!

4. Do you think I can’t find you if you hide? It's useless. No matter where you are, you always have an aura about you that attracts others' attention. It's not like you don't know that if you don't take a shower for so long, the smell will be very strong!

5. You have always wanted to travel back in time and become an emperor in ancient times. Finally, an expert casts a spell to help you travel back in time. How happy are you? Take a look in the mirror. Oh my god, the expert’s magic is too good. It’s awesome, it’s back to the age of apes!

6. What happened? Dial your mobile phone, and the voice prompt says: You are calling a lazy pig from out of town. Please add the pigsty area code before the number you dial. I couldn’t believe it. I called again and the voice prompt said: The owner of the phone has been slaughtered.

7. The most romantic thing I can think of is to watch you slowly get fatter. Then I'll have pork to eat. Oh yeah!

8. I heard that eating garlic can prevent influenza A, and I think it makes sense. Think about it: if you eat garlic, others will think you smell bad and won’t be close to you, and the influenza A virus will also I can’t get close enough! Haha, don’t forget to hold two cloves of garlic before going out!

9. Meeting you is the beginning of my heartbeat, falling in love with you is my happy choice; pursuing you is my direction The starting point of happiness; having you is my most precious wealth; stepping onto the red carpet is my eternal motivation! Unfortunately, I sent it to the wrong person!

10. Don’t move! Watch quietly Look at this text message! Look at the top, look at the bottom, don’t forget the left and right! Have you finished reading? Delete it after reading it!

11. Ask yourself thousands of times, why do you always think about it recently? You, I miss you so much, the image in my dream is always you, and I send this message for you. I’m sorry to remind you, but I muster up the courage to ask you: When will you treat me to dinner?

12. The New Year is here, and I have four words to say to you. Although I am a little embarrassed, this is not the time to be shy. If I don’t say it, I will regret it, so I say it sincerely. You said, bring me the red envelope!

13. Don’t eat when you’re hungry! I did it; don’t sleep when you’re sleepy! I did it too; don’t put on clothes when it’s cold, I did it again. I'm such a strong person, but it's a pity that I didn't tell you when I missed you. I didn't do it.

14. I really wanted to go to the sea with you, but I never went; I really wanted to go hiking with you, but I didn’t go because I was confused; I really wanted to go wandering with you, but I met the police. Said: No dogs allowed when shopping!

15. I want to tell you something. You must not tell others. I heard that people in the city often beat dogs recently. I wonder if your master has beaten you recently? Old master misses you!

16. Attention, I give you the power-saving guide for air conditioners in summer. I have many years of experience and only friends tell you: the first step is to find the power supply of the air conditioner; the second step is to unplug the power supply; the third step is to find the power supply of the air conditioner. Step 1, check the effect, see, the meter is running slowly.

17. There is a kind of tacit understanding called tacit understanding, a kind of feeling called unspeakable, a kind of yearning called longing for eyes to see through, and a kind of idiot who will finish reading it last!

18. The flowers in spring are beautiful, that is your bright smile; the sun is hot in summer, that is your passion; the fruits in autumn are your harvest; the wind in winter is blowing , Little Qingwa, it’s time for you to hibernate!

19. Bathed in the breeze, you are chic and relaxed; bathed in the sunshine, you are like a tree facing the wind; you have a strong flavor, and chicken, duck, and fish all need your control. You are the hero in the kitchen! I can't live without you, Green Onion!

20. Learn Chinese just to send text messages; learn math just to count money; learn English just to look cool; learn physics just to make atomic bombs; learn art just to be able to draw without looking at the photos of my second senior brother. Gotta be like you!

21. Looking at your body getting thinner day by day, I feel so uncomfortable that I can’t eat or sleep. I beg you, don’t lose weight anymore. If you continue to lose weight like this, others will You thought I... I was feeding you clenbuterol!

22. Bro, I went to a performance yesterday and found an actor who looked exactly like you. I asked the staff: Who is the actor who looks like my buddy? The staff said: That is...an orangutan bought from Africa.

23. You are like so many fishes in my mind.

You know, I like a lot of fish the most. Not only does it taste good, but it’s also because of you——it’s so redundant! Ha, just kidding, I miss you, call me back!

24. Are your ears itchy? That means I'm thinking of you. Are your eyes itchy? That means I want to see you. Are your mouth itchy? That means I want to kiss you. Is your body itchy? That means... don't You are thinking nonsense, you are almost getting lice, go take a shower!

25. Male: Can I kiss you? Female: No. Male: What did I just say? , Female: Can I kiss you? Male: Yes.

26. I miss those days very much. You walked coquettishly in front of me on the country road with your head lowered. When the villagers saw you, we all praised you: Hey, you are beautiful and clean! Praise me too. : What a good boy, he comes out to herd pigs at such a young age!

27. There are three main purposes for sending messages this time: first, to connect with each other; second, to pass the time; third, I am very responsible Let me tell you: when the weather gets cold, remember not to wear crotchless pants anymore.

28. It’s late at night, walking alone in the alley, and suddenly I feel so alone, so lonely, and so scared. I am eagerly thinking of you, thinking about you, and looking forward to you. If only you were here with me How nice it would be to have you around, I really need you - a flashlight!

29. I remember that time I was really cruel and turned around to leave. Your helpless cries and heart-rending shouts came from behind me. Suddenly I felt how bad I was. The earth needs you. I turned around and hugged you tightly: I really don’t want to sell this pig anymore!

30. The night is very beautiful tonight. I want to share it with you and enjoy it with you... However, I am afraid that others will look at us strangely. After all, it is wrong to take a stupid pig out at night. It’s hard not to attract the attention of others!

31. The sun is shining brightly, the breeze is blowing gently, the willows are swaying their branches passionately, the peach blossoms are exhaling their charming fragrance, and the creek is singing cheerful songs. It is such a picture of spring, I think It means...work hard, the boss is coming!

32. Do you really want to know what I like about you? But I really didn't dare to say it, but I had to say it. I just like you to stay away from me.

33. I really hope to be by your side. Did you sleep well? Are you full? Will it be cold at night? I know you never take care of yourself. Every time I walk away, you jump out of the pig pen!

34. The day before yesterday, I took you home and walked to a luxurious building. You looked at me affectionately and said, you go back. I looked at your back for a long time and saw four words written on it: mental hospital.

35. I just heard that you were abducted and it really scared me. Although you have been dementia since childhood, you are harmless to society. Who is so bold and dares to sell you? I really feel sorry for him Worry, it would be strange if it was sold.

36. I really miss you. I really want to meet you and look at you like this, but I really don’t want to... I feel so confused----every time I see you Both your and my hearts are pounding. The results of the mental hospital examination have come out. You are really mentally retarded!

37. I know you like me, but I really don’t like you. Although you already have my flesh and blood in your belly, please stop harassing me, otherwise I will treat you badly. You're welcome, you damn mosquito!

38. I can’t forget the feeling of holding you in my hands, the slightest flutter of my heart when I kissed you, and your unique taste. Let me suck you hard again - cigarette .

39. Bajie Huazhai has never returned. On this day, a person who looked exactly like Bajie came from a distance. Wukong said he might be a goblin. Tang Monk said: Try sending a text message. If you reply, it will be Bajie. If you don't reply, it will be a goblin!

40. On the summer weekend, the heat is scorching and the sun is blazing. I miss you very much. When I think about you, I feel hot all over my body. When I feel hot, I really want to meet you. As soon as I meet you, I can’t wait to throw myself into your arms...my dear swimming pool!

41. Please touch your red and tender face first, and then touch your belly! good! This concludes this pig raising knowledge lecture, see you tomorrow!

42. I heard that that day you were wearing a torn sack and walking with strange steps; you were caught as a thief and you were given a dog tag?

43. I have always wanted to say three words to you, but you know its weight. I am afraid that once I say it, we will not even be friends. But I couldn't control my emotions and mustered up the courage to say to you: You are a pig.

44. The five internal organs belong to the five elements, the liver belongs to wood, the heart belongs to fire, the lungs belong to metal, the kidneys belong to water, and the spleen belongs to earth. I did the math for you. It turns out that your five elements lack fire and metal. No wonder you didn’t invite me to dinner for so long. It turns out you are heartless!

45. Ever since I first saw you, I have been deeply attracted to you. Your behavior made me want to look at you more. Now I I really can’t hold it in any longer and want to tell you: You are just like a puppy that can walk on two legs.

46. After giving the toilet a good wipe, the toilet thanked me and asked me if I had any wishes that it could help me realize. I said: I hope you can help me take care of the pig who is reading the text message! I hope he feels happy every time he poops!

47. You are the eighth weirdo in the south of the Yangtze River. If you don’t go home, you are always out. If you don’t drink, you will always eat vegetables. If you don’t fall in love, you will always have sex. He was so lazy that he was often kicked by others.

48. What a strange thing? I just dialed your cell phone, and the prompt tone replied: The other party is running naked. Afraid of hearing wrong! I dialed again, and the prompt tone replied: Sorry, the user you dialed has left the earth.

49. For you, I made a lot of preparations. I made a special trip to the supermarket and bought a lot of things you need. Now I’m ready. Everything is ready. You, the duck, can finally cook. .

50. The boar was immediately killed and begged its owner: It doesn’t matter if you kill me, I just ask you not to let my wife see it, don’t make her sad, don’t disturb her, just let it be there. Let's play with her phone there.

51. You have performed well and made great contributions, and the organization has decided to reward you. You were sitting at the table with a medal around your neck, and you were unmoved by the sumptuous banquet. When I was confused, I saw you flying up and throwing yourself at something, and took a closer look: a bone.

52. I have always wanted to see you, but I was too busy to do so. Today I finally have time. So I came to the kennel specially to see you.

53. Did you know that today the toad confessed his love to the swan, and the swan said: Whoever looks like you would be better off dead! The toad was not convinced: The pig head next door is still alive and well! Zhutou said depressedly: I was just reading text messages, why did I get shot again?

54. Those raised at home are domestic pigs, and those born in the mountains are called wild boars. Those who read this message are stupid pigs. If the one who is laughing is a stupid pig, and the one who is angry is a fat pig, ignore me. They are dead pigs, and those who don’t reply are worse than pigs.

55. The recent trend that mice love rice reminds me of you. Your soft, boneless skin and your frail little body really make me worried and fearful: Damn rice bugs! Don't come and harm my rice!

56. The moonlight tonight is really beautiful. I really want to walk on the street with you. I really like the feeling of walking side by side with you... But, I am afraid that others will use He looked at me strangely. After all, if you lead a pig on the street at night, you will easily get noticed!

57. It has been popular recently that mice love rice, which reminds me of you involuntarily. Your soft, boneless skin and your frail little body really make me fearful: Damn bugs! Don't harm my family's rice again!

58. Pigs are transformed from pigs, and cows are transformed from cows. What did you become? People change. No, you were born to your mother.

59. In my eyes, you have always been carefree, your meals are so fragrant and sweet, and you are so comfortable when you sleep. Sometimes I feel: I’m so envious of a puppy life like yours!

60. You are very creative. Living is your courage. Being ugly is not your original intention. It is God who lost his temper. If you continue to live, without you, who will bring out the beauty of the world!

61. You and I walked quietly on the small road in my hometown, and you bowed your head shyly and said nothing. When the villagers saw me, they all said: What a good boy, well groomed and beautiful. It’s a pity that he comes out to herd pigs at such a young age!

62. If you feel good about yourself, go down, if you feel humorous, go down, if you feel charming, go down, if you feel smart, go down, well, it is quite shameless.

63. Attention everyone, it’s an intelligence competition: the players are the elephant, the pig and you. The results of the competition have come out: first, the elephant is stronger than the pig, and you are stronger than the elephant. The final ranking is: You look like a pig. Okay, some applause!

64. After having you, I believe in the arrangement of fate; after having you, I believe in the destiny of fate; maybe all of this is pulling you and me in the dark. I really want to say angrily: How much I owed you in my previous life!

65. You say you are a phoenix, and I say you are a crow; you say you are a rose, and I say you are? ] Toad; you say you are a lively deer, I say you are a naughty pig!

66. A kind of like plus a kind of obsession, combined into my passionate love for you; I will rely on you tightly in every trivial matter of life; no matter the wind, rain or ups and downs, life has you and me. Just have nothing to fear. Really need you, money!

67. What can I say about you? You are indeed different! Give me some sunshine, and you will be brilliant; give me some happiness, and you will be romantic; give me some praise, and you will be pissed off; give me some praise, and you will be stinky; give me some praise, and you will be crazy.

68.Did you know? We met a long time ago. You followed me closely, pressed your face against mine, sniffed me with your nose, and bit me gently with your mouth... At that time, my name was Lu Dongbin.

69. You have high blood pressure and high blood lipids, and your position is not high.

He doesn't speak in general meetings, he doesn't speak in small meetings, and his prostate is inflamed. The political achievements are not outstanding, the performance is not outstanding, and the lumbar disc is prominent.

70. Only after reading the story of the Cowherd and the Weaver Girl did I know what love is; only after reading the story of the three sworn brothers in Taoyuan did I know what brotherhood is; after seeing the photo of you and the orangutan Only then did I know what it meant - a perfect match!

71. Seeing that so many people like you, I secretly encourage myself to try to pursue you. The moment I approach you, smelling the breath on your body, I finally couldn't help but vomit... stinky tofu!

72. If time could stand still, I hope to stay at your happiest moment. If I could go back in time, I would like to go back to the time when you and I were children, live a worry-free life, and see your face full of snot every day!

73. I really don’t understand why you always try to stand in a place with light every night. Later, after someone reminded me, I realized that you want to be a night pig!

74. You pull, you pull. Most of all, you will pretend that others don’t exist and just show off all day long. You are not afraid of scaring others. Don’t think that you are handsome. In fact, you It’s just Marshal Tianpeng!

75. On that summer afternoon, I took you into the green gauze tent. The sun was shining high, and the breeze lifted my clothes. We spent a wonderful afternoon together: you lowered your head and ate grass, and I read the little book!

76. It is said that if a man and a woman look at each other for less than a second, they have no favorable impression; if they look at each other for a second, they have a good impression; if they look at each other for a second, they will have secret feelings; if they look at each other for a second, it means they have deep feelings; and I, Just looking at you for a second, I...I want to vomit!

77. You are so cute - pitiful that no one loves you; you are really good looking - it is really not your fault that you look like this; you are a genius - a born idiot; you are very temperamental - - Stingy and neurotic.

78. In the early morning, you gently approached my bed and kissed my face affectionately. Your deep eyes were always looking at me, and I really couldn’t refuse you - Good Dog , take you for a walk.

79. Warm reminder: The weather is changeable, so dress carefully! The light rain means that I miss you, the shower means that my heart will not waver, the wind means that I send my heart to you, the cloudy day means that I am thinking about you, the sunny day means that we are not separated, and the cloudy day means that there are surprises! If it snows, you didn’t wake up!

80. Since the day I lost contact with you, I have been thinking about you every day and looking for you everywhere. Maybe you don’t know how anxious I am, but I still won’t give up because—— The price of pork has increased, and your value has increased!

81. After some searching in scriptures, interviews with Chinese and foreign psychologists, naturalists, physicists, etc., combined with my experiments, I finally found a way to escape the heat. That is: stay where it’s cool!

82. Someone said to me, you can’t do anything but eat. I beat him up severely for slandering you like this. I don’t know about others, but I don’t know about you. ? In addition to eating, you can at least sleep, run and grind!

83. You are stern, but you love to show off; although you are not sweet-tongued, you are lovable; you love to be attentive, but you have no evil intentions; you are born with the ability to watch the door, and I stare at you. With your eyes rounded, this bone is given to you as a reward.

84. The night was very late, I woke up from my dream, on the grass in the suburbs, when you slowly approached me, my heart beat wildly, it all happened so suddenly, it made me sad I yelled in disbelief...rat!

85. Is your Mandarin standard? Please recite with me: Ten thousand hope, hope ten thousand, ten thousand forget, ten thousand ten thousand. Okay, dog, stop barking and eat bones?!

86. The monotonous and busy life day after day sometimes makes people forget their own existence. At this time, you only need to take a hammer and lightly hit it on your thumb. Find yourself again.

87. I really like your big ears, broad face, thick lips and dark eyes. Your singing voice is amazing, and the lyrics always have the same tune - hum hum hum hum hum. You are my pet piggy!

88. You were born with a whirlpool on your head, a black face with no visible fingers, and you hide your face with two vegetable leaves. He considers himself the boss of a beggar gang and is actually admitted to a mental hospital.

89. One day a mantis showed off to an ant and said: Look how handsome I am with two knives. The ant was about to speak when a chicken came over and ate the mantis in one bite. When the ant saw it, he shook his head and said, "Don't you know we are cracking down hard now?" How dare you run around on the street with a knife.

90. If yearning is a wisp of smoke, let the strong wind blow to your side to let you know how much I miss you; if care is a drop of rain, let heavy rain fall on your head to let you know I miss you so much; do you have a cold?

91. The latest fitness method: stand on one leg, tilt your head to the side, bend the standing leg, and then quickly straighten it to lift the body off the ground and do a free fall.

At the same time, hit the head with one hand, and the water in the brain will flow out from the ear hole. Try it!

92. If the master has a cold, just recite the sutra; if the senior brother has a cold, just do some somersaults; if I have a cold, just dance back and shovel; if you have a cold, just don't go out. Second Senior Brother, when you catch a cold, the whole world becomes worried, you are really awesome.

93. Yesterday, I saw on the Internet that the model of mobile phone you were using radiated extremely high radiation. I was shocked. Just as I was about to inform you, I saw that it was not effective for people with lower IQs. Don't worry, don't worry, just keep using it.

94. Let’s reminisce about our childhood together today. Let’s play throwing handkerchiefs and throwing sandbags together. I don’t believe it. I can’t turn your head into a yurt with all my strength.

95. I’m really sorry for bothering you so late. I just want to ask: Have you slept?

96. I didn’t bring any paper with me when I went to the toilet. I was about to call someone to deliver it. I took out my mobile phone and saw that there was no signal. Who built the toilet! Accepted.

97. Do you want to stand out? Do you want to get rich? Do you want to honor your ancestors? Do you want to be rich and wealthy? Do you want to get promoted and make a fortune? Stop thinking so much, go to bed, you have to go to work tomorrow!

98. I heard that you have changed recently, quit smoking, drinking, gambling, sex, greed, worry, work, and love, so people call you Bajie.

99. Looking at the cloudless sky, listening to the rushing sound of the stream, and the grass around you swaying gently in the wind, how beautiful nature is, but it is a pity that the air has been destroyed by you. The fart I just let out is contaminated!

100. Remember that night, you dreamed that you had a pair of wings that you dreamed of flying, so I flapped my wings gently and then gently came to you----and then kicked You kicked and said: Stop dreaming, idiot!

101. Thank you for accompanying me to see flowers in spring, sunset with me in summer, fallen leaves in autumn, and snow scenes in winter. Without you, no matter how beautiful the scenery is, it will be blurry. Thank you very much...glasses!

102. The reason why I often delete Moments and Weibo is: because I am arrogant and indifferent at this moment, and I hate the ignorant and pretentious myself at the last moment.

103. It takes thousands of years to change from a monkey to a human, but it only takes a bottle of wine to change from a human to a monkey.

104. You can’t afford a good-looking skin, you can’t afford an interesting soul, you can’t ignore an interesting soul, the exquisite skin is all the same, but you can only pick a matching soul.

105. Freud can no longer analyze you and can only use one of the most famous words in China to describe you: cheap.

106. When I see your face, I feel that your parents were not serious when making you.

107. Failure is not terrible, the terrible thing is that you still believe this sentence.

108. If it doesn’t work, break it up, buy it if you like it, try it again, it’s none of your business, it’s none of my business. Use this simple and crude rule regularly and you will solve life's troubles.

109. Life rounds us in order to make us roll further.

110. Adult life is not easy except gaining weight and losing hair.

111. You have countless spare tires and constant feelings, not because you are charming, but because you are cheap and versatile!

112. Don’t believe in something, because you can’t bear it when it betrays you.

113. Some people say that you should not complain often, because life is just like drinking water and knowing whether it is warm or cold. I want to ask you, will you not scream when you are scalded by hot water?

114. When I need you, you are not absent, but you don’t care; therefore, when you need me, I don’t want to, but don’t care.

115. The more knowledgeable you are, the less you care, the more experience you have, the less you complain, the more leisurely and hypocritical you are.

116. Sometimes it is heart-breaking to discover that people who are prettier than you are often smarter than you.

117. It is better to remain silent and make people look like a fool than to speak and prove that you are.

118. If you are sick, you treat the disease, but don’t come to me. I am not a veterinarian.

119. You can’t even control what time you go to bed, yet you still want to control your life. Your problem is that you can understand everything, but you are lazy!

120. When there is a lion chasing you, you don’t have to run faster than the lion. You only need to run faster than others to survive.

121. Problems that can be solved with money are not problems, but how to make money is your biggest problem.

122. You are neither Sun Wukong nor the Supreme Treasure. You are just one of the people under the city wall, watching other people's love, chewing your own youth, and living like a dog.

123. You can love the wrong scum three or five times, but you cannot love the same scum three or five times.

Taking the wrong path may be due to bad luck, but always jumping into a pit is a sign of poor IQ.

124. If roaring could solve problems, donkeys would rule the world. This is the most classic sentence I’ve seen this year. ——Control your emotions and speak softly.

125. There are no real fools in the world. Don’t try to be clever with anyone. You can’t make progress unless you are exposed, and you can’t step down if you are exposed.

126. If you are well, you will have a spare tire until you grow old.

127. Sometimes you don’t know what despair is unless you try hard.

128. My life goal is to own my own house in Beijing when I am thirty. Now I'm halfway to my goal: I'm thirty years old.

129. Do you think rich people are as happy as you imagine? You are wrong. The happiness of rich people is beyond your imagination.

130. Pay attention to details and start with small things, because you can’t do big things.

131. Nothing is difficult in the world, as long as you are willing to give up.

132. The person I love is an unparalleled hero. One day he will marry someone else on the colorful clouds.

133. Do you think Zhao Mosheng is really stupid? Have you forgotten that he and He Yichen were admitted to the same university.

134. Only after you work hard will you know that the gap in IQ is insurmountable.

135. If he replies to you instantly, it only means that he is playing on his mobile phone.

136. Don’t worry about things that can’t be solved today, because they still won’t be solved tomorrow.

137. Your best efforts may not be as good as others' casual efforts.

138. Don’t expect to lose weight. Bajie has traveled thousands of miles and has not seen him lose weight, and he is also a vegetarian!

139. Don’t believe the fairy tale of Cinderella. If the shoes really fit, they would not fall off at that time.

140. If you like someone, confess it bravely. Maybe you can also know what spare tire size you are?

141. If you don’t go out for a walk, you will never know how comfortable it is to stay at home.

142. No matter what we do, we must use all our strength to absorb milk. Anyway, there will be no milk to eat if we keep it.

143. When you feel ugly and poor, don’t be sad, at least your judgment is still right.

144. Failure is not terrible, the terrible thing is that you believe this sentence.

145. Stop losing weight. You are ugly not just because you are fat.

146. When God closes a door for you, he will also pinch your brain.

147. God is fair. If he gives you an ugly appearance, he will definitely give you a low IQ so as not to make you look uncoordinated.

148. If you like a girl, start studying hard now, find a good job and earn a lot of money in the future, and give her more money when she gets married.

149. Do you know why beauties have had a bad life since ancient times? Because no one cares how long ugly people live.

150. Nowadays, parents allow their children to participate in various interest classes since childhood, in order to prevent their children from losing at the starting line. However, as everyone knows, some people are born at the finishing line.