This is the responsibility and obligation. As Japanese psychologist Yasuhiro Gu said, "Love can even be a child, but marriage is an adult. For the naive, getting married is a burden. Marriage must be moral, responsible and have strong practical ability. "
People in love can get rid of all vanity and sophistication, regardless of the constraints of all realistic conditions, and reach a certain realm of detachment and freedom. However, marriage must face and accept the social reality: dealing with "daily necessities, vinegar tea" every day, often visiting both parents, and caring about the growth and future of children. Therefore, married life is inseparable from the pragmatic spirit.
Since two people are married and become husband and wife, they should understand, respect and tolerate each other and learn to share their hobbies. If it is not handled properly, friction will occur. The way to get a happy marriage is mutual respect and understanding, and * * * pursues spiritual life and emotion. nine
Andy is a photojournalist and his wife Liu Ye is a tour guide. Before marriage, both of them often ran outside because of their work, so they made many friends and had their own life circles and hobbies. Andy likes playing chess very much and often fights with his friends. Willow, on the other hand, is a superb dancer and a frequent visitor to the ballroom. When night falls and neon flashes, she will take a brisk step and dance with her partner.
After marriage, the young couple still kept the habit of being single and kept their own living space and freedom. In his spare time, Andy often leaves his wife to play chess with his friends, and Liu Ye often dances alone in the ballroom. At first, both sides felt very comfortable and relaxed, and each had a world to wander around, and it would also present a state of "distance produces beauty".
However, after a long time, contradictions arise. His wife Liu Ye sometimes wishes her husband Yang Zi could stay at home with her all the time, but she often doesn't know where her husband is, so her life begins to pass quickly. On the other hand, Andy gradually complained that his wife wore colorful clothes to the ballroom every day. Although she has no doubt and jealousy, she can't hide her guess. The gap between husband and wife is getting bigger and bigger, and the days are no longer calm, and they begin to hide and surge.
Faced with this situation, the clever Liu Ye didn't nag and cry like many women, let alone make a noise or "go back to her mother's house". Instead, she began to seriously analyze and study the problems between them.
She found that her husband played chess quite well and held a high position among his chess friends. She thinks her husband's main interest is chess. As long as she learns to have fun in his leisure time, she will not be abandoned by her husband.
So Liu Ye prepared a chessboard for Andy at home and asked him to teach himself to play chess. At first, she didn't even understand what chess was, but after learning from her husband, she actually became a better chess player. This greatly stimulated Andy, and the couple often played several rounds. In addition, Liu Ye also arranged an elegant chess table at home, so that Andy often invited some friends to play chess at home. Slowly, instead of running outside all day, Andy stayed beside his wife and played chess around the stove.
At the same time, through the whole process of this matter, Andy also understood his wife's good intentions and benefited a lot from it. He thought, since his wife can share her hobbies with him, why can't he share her hobbies? Therefore, Andy also worshipped his wife as a teacher and asked her for dancing skills. They often go to dance halls together, and Liu Ye's dancing partner is fixed on one person by men of different ages, that is, her husband. After a long period of integration and adaptation, the couple became closer. At home, they challenged each other at chess and broke through the limits of life.
Share benefits
A couple, if they can enjoy everything, whether it is a piece of bread or an idea, can make the relationship closer. On the contrary, if couples often focus on their children or work and have no interest in life, they will gradually find that they can enjoy less and less.
Therefore, husband and wife should try to participate in some activities together, such as mountain climbing, traveling, gardening, community work and so on. Learn to share each other's hobbies as your own and you will find endless fun between you. Sharing lover's hobbies and entertainment is an important factor in the success of marriage.
In life, some people's hobbies are often closely related to their jobs, which are special interests caused by specific occupations: artists like to watch art exhibitions and collect various ethnic handicrafts; Photographers like to wander between mountains and rivers; Musicians are keen on concerts.
In this case, sharing your lover's hobby is a strong support for his career, so you should take the initiative and do your best to cultivate this hobby. In life, some people's hobbies have nothing to do with their careers, but are purely personal hobbies: some wives like to listen to Yue Opera and husbands like to listen to Peking Opera; Some husbands love sports, and their wives are crazy about music. Some husbands love movies, while wives love novels.
For these different hobbies, in order to take care of your lover's emotions, you might as well make some concessions and enjoy them together. As soon as interests and hobbies are close, they will enhance the common language of both sides and be conducive to the development of feelings. Husband and wife should adopt a positive attitude, so that their interests and hobbies can be coordinated and complementary, and they can share happiness.
Mutual understanding and respect
It is important for couples to understand each other. If you can respect and understand your lover's interest in work, study and life, it is the greatest support for your lover and the most effective emotional investment. Affirming the lover's hobbies means affirming the lover's aesthetics and life interest, which is a real mutual appreciation.
In daily life, if one spouse has a strong interest in knowledge and the other pays more attention to practical interests, although they are irrelevant, they can complement each other as long as they respect and understand each other. The former can often be encouraged by the support of the latter, while the latter can share the joy brought by the former's achievements. Although they have different interests, they can have the same fun. Respect and understand your lover's interest, but also actively induce adaptation.
Mutual induction can make lovers consciously accept their hobbies, that is, consciously infiltrate their interests into their lovers; Adaptation is to be as close as possible to your lover's interests subjectively. If husband and wife can actively adapt to each other's hobbies, their feelings will inevitably deepen.
However, most young couples often lack this attitude. They don't take the initiative to adapt to each other's interests, but adopt the attitude of "well water does not interfere with river water". You engage in your interests, I engage in my hobbies, and the result will only make each other's interests farther and farther in the opposite direction.
While letting your lover accept your interests, you should not only adapt to your lover's interests, but also actively cultivate your hobbies. Some wives often complain that their husbands spend most of their weekends in stadiums and other recreational activities instead of staying at home with her.
Every * * * sound between husband and wife, every kind of sharing, is a good way to enhance feelings, is considerate care for the lover, is the embodiment of sincere feelings. Sharing a lover's hobby is the best interpretation of "love", an appreciation and an affirmation. In this way, marriage has an extra guarantee.
In fact, in the face of this situation, instead of complaining at home alone, it is better to go out and enjoy happiness with my husband and put aside loneliness. Even if you don't have any interest in watching the game at first, you often watch it with your lover, and in the process of "watching", a volunteer commentator enthusiastically explains it. Maybe you will gradually become interested in the game.
We know that stress will definitely bring many bad problems or symptoms to our body and mind, but sometimes appropriate stress is not necessarily a bad thing. From many successful people, it can be proved that pressure can mobilize a person's enthusiasm, tap a person's potential, make him successful and become a person with ability and backbone. They can turn "pressure" into "motivation", just as mussels can turn gravel that troubles them into pearls.
A person who has been frustrated repeatedly but is indomitable will be more likely to succeed than a person who has always been proud of the spring breeze. So stress is not necessarily a bad thing, and people will be stressed when they are alive. Because no one is immune to stress, whether you like it or not, stress will accompany you every day.
These so-called pressures are not imaginary diseases, but refer to the emotional and physiological nerve reactions of individuals to important situations, people or things that they are unable to cope with. Events that make people react to stress are called stressors. When people are under pressure, the brain will secrete hormones such as adrenaline, which will flow to all parts of the body through blood vessels, thus causing physiological reactions. heart