"The woman was pregnant for 8 months. When I came home and didn't want to wash the dishes, she cried. Can I get a divorce?" This question was automatically pushed by Zhihu, and I opened the link curiously. I didn't expect the onlookers to unanimously support that the subject must divorce.

The most praised and ranked first answer is:

Leave, you must leave, after all, you can't stand it before you have a baby. Eight months pregnant, the woman experienced morning sickness that could vomit up bile, backache caused by the heavier and heavier children in the abdomen, out of shape, long spots, stretch marks, obesity and ugliness, urgency and frequent urination, insomnia caused by pregnancy, no hairdressing, no makeup, no high heels, no playing with mobile phones for too long, and no sitting in front of the computer.

A woman abandons health and beauty, and is willing to bear the pain of class 12 to give birth to a child for you, but you make your wife cry because of a trifle. You are really a man.

Another answer is:

Leave, you must leave, the woman is not worthy of you at all! I let you wash the dishes after eight months of pregnancy. Then if the baby is born, she still has to look after the baby. Do you still have to cook and wash clothes? This must be separated!

you should find a kind of wife who makes money to support the family, does all the housework, is gentle and obedient! Only such a woman deserves you! Like your present wife, you should divorce her immediately. After all, you are so excellent that she won't wronged you!

Some netizens even analyzed the ideological roots of this topic. There is such a sentence in the subject's question:

"I am really desperate. My parents spent 17, yuan to get married, which is basically all the savings of the old couple. It is like this to marry a wife later, so that my mother can take care of us so far and still be wronged with me." This netizen analyzed that this is the reason why the subject asked the f * * king question. After all, the wife was paid by her parents to marry back and pass on the incense. Now she is pregnant and she is in conflict with her mother. I don't want to wash the dishes, but she still cries and can't stand it.

In essence, he has always been a mother's son, and he has never been a wife's husband or a child's father in mind. If you want a divorce, please leave quickly. How can a man who can't accommodate his wife after 8 months' pregnancy face the conflict of children's educational concepts and daily chores in the future? Be a good mother's baby. The roles of father and husband are not suitable for you at present.

Second, let's look at this pregnant mother's expectations of her husband

In fact, in real life, this kind of baby boy is not uncommon. Because of pregnancy, I have been in close contact with pregnant mothers recently. When we are free, we can talk about our feelings during pregnancy and the experience of prenatal examination, and talk about all kinds of discomfort and physical reactions during pregnancy.

pregnant mother a recently showed me a letter she wrote to her husband, and put some emotions that she usually had no chance to say and no place to vent to the pen. With her consent, it is made public as follows.

Child's father:

There are some things that need to be made clear before Erbao is born, so it is necessary for us to put it straight, rather than hiding anything.

1. Your filial piety is your freedom. Don't take us with you.

When the waiter served boiled fish in a restaurant last night, your parents asked the waiter to pour out the oil inside, and the waiter said that the pepper inside had been fished out and was ready to eat. They still insist that there is too much oil in the boiled fish to pour out, and the waiter will not pour it out. They will pour the soup in the boiled fish into another empty plate by themselves, and then ask the waiter to take this full plate of soup away.

you don't speak at all and let them act. If I want to pour the oil, you must stop me. Last time I had dinner in this restaurant, I ordered good food late, and the children were always hungry. I asked you to rush the waiter, but you just looked at your mobile phone and didn't lift your head. You answered rudely, just waited, so why rush?

your attitude at that time affected my mood all night. So they can do whatever they want, but not me. It's just a trivial matter to pour oil, but it can be seen that this is your freedom. You should take what your parents said as the truth, and don't impose it on me and my children. We are independent people.

2. About the care and division of labor after the birth of Erbao.

In the past few years, I have been struggling to give birth to two treasures, and even now I have become an elderly woman. Why are you entangled? The two years after Dabao was born left a deep shadow. As a father and husband, you didn't take up your due responsibilities and obligations. Later, I also got over it. Anyway, it was better to have two children than one before I made up my mind to have one.

From this stage, you have performed well and fulfilled your previous promise. After I got pregnant, you basically took on the tasks of cooking, washing dishes, cleaning, and sending the children to the remedial classes, except for complaining when sending them to the remedial classes. I don't want to bring up the old sesame seeds and rotten millet when Dabao was born, but I'm also worried about the recurrence of the old things, so we'd better plan and divide the work between the two after Erbao was born, and you should write about it first.

3. Grandparents have no obligation to look after their children.

The previous generation didn't have the obligation to look after the children. Since I decided to have two children, I just want us to bear it ourselves. Although the personal practice of bringing Dabao alone a few years ago vividly explained that "if you want to grow old quickly and have a child, bring it yourself". I still got over my scar and forgot the pain, and embarked on the road of having a second child without hesitation.

My grandparents can help me in the future, and I welcome them with both hands. It's okay if you don't come to help me, but don't make excuses. No one is a fool by using "I'm difficult to serve" as an excuse not to look after the children.

Don't interfere in our lives, don't interfere in children's education, and don't say different opinions in front of children. You can discuss them in private. Children report more classes and are more tired than usual on weekends; It's so small, so many things are put in the child's brain, so don't continue to say similar words in front of the child.

Now that the children are in Grade Two, they have not enrolled in classes of Chinese, Mathematics and English, but now they have only enrolled in arts and sports. Do they know the education situation in Beijing? I went to kindergarten when the boss was less than three years old, that is, I took care of the baby while working alone, and there was no old man to help me look after it. On the issue of children's education, why do they dictate and judge by their heads?

don't rummage through my things. I'm in charge of my family. When and when did I go to your house? I rummaged through everything. Again, your filial piety is none of my business. Don't interfere with me and my children. Over the years, I have managed to cultivate Dabao's study and living habits, and it is easy to fall short.

Finally, I hope we can reach an agreement on some important family issues before Erbao is born, so as to reduce family conflicts.

III. Testimony

I remembered what a colleague confided to me before. When a child was born and needed to be looked after, her mother-in-law talked about her independence and told her the western theory, which meant that the child would become an adult after the age of 18, and parents had no responsibility to take on any obligations, including looking after the next generation. In the fast-paced life in Beijing, she had to go to work after maternity leave, but she asked her parents to look after the children for three years until she was sent to kindergarten.

When the children are older, it is relatively easy. When they enter the kindergarten, they only need parents to pick them up every day, instead of pestering people all day. At this time, her mother-in-law appeared, saying that she missed her children and began to come to Beijing frequently from her hometown. Her husband's rhetoric also changed. "I said before that no matter (children), can't I change my mind?" In this regard, this colleague is speechless.

When I was a child, I took my children to read a picture book to the effect that a rooster wanted to bake bread. In the process of planting wheat, harvesting, grinding flour and baking bread, he asked a rabbit, a pig, a dog and a fox for help, but they refused the rooster for various reasons. When the delicious bread was baked, the rabbit, the pig, the dog and the fox all came and wanted to share it with the rooster, but the rooster refused. Yes, where did you go when you needed help? Now that you have the fruits of victory, you have no right to share them.