Freud once concluded in his most pessimistic period: "In human beings, sex is a function that gradually declines." Actually, as long as we don't let it wither, it won't wither. Most of their troubles are temporary. Any emotional influence can interfere with her orgasm, and once the problem is eliminated, the orgasm will inevitably recover immediately. ● What is frigidity? Sexual apathy refers to women's imperfect sexual response. Including all kinds of situations in which the sexual response is below normal, from completely avoiding contact with the opposite sex to occasionally failing to reach orgasm. The word' frigidity' is easily misunderstood, and people think it was created by men. Why? Because this word shows that the person who coined it didn't know much about women's sexual structure, it confused some abnormal symptoms of women's sexual response with diseases. In fact, every woman doesn't want to live that cold life, and her indifference is mostly caused by objective factors beyond her control. In addition, the meaning of the word' cold feeling' is clear-it means that women don't understand amorous feelings, and it also means that men are rejected. In fact, this is not right. It may be more appropriate to use the word' orgasm disorder' instead. Anyway, all women who are called apathy suffer from this common disease. More importantly, this statement will no longer contain preconceptions or accusations. ● How many kinds of frigidity are there? Like impotence, women's orgasm disorder can include obvious impotence and even more subtle symptoms, which look a bit like excessive sexual desire. The crux of orgasm disorder (O.I.) lies in the poor connection between the brain and vagina, just like the loose line of a telephone. Sometimes the phone can't get through during the call; Sometimes, information can be conveyed, but it is disturbed; Sometimes you dial the wrong number; Sometimes the bell doesn't even ring. What if the bell doesn't ring? This is 100% orgasm barrier. In any case, a woman's sex organs are insensitive. Women with this problem are not interested in sex and everything about sex. Her family and friends misunderstood her and called her a "grumpy old maid". Of course, she has been wronged, and her orgasm disorder is 100% due to serious emotional problems. We should regard such women as people with emotional problems. ● How did the climax obstacle come from? Like other emotional troubles, its roots are often deeply rooted in the patient's past years. Psychiatrists found that none of the women with this disease grew up in a warm and safe family with the care of their parents. Most patients have suffered serious emotional injuries in their childhood and later years. When they become adults, their every move will inadvertently reveal the indifference and loneliness they encountered in their childhood. If a lively five-year-old baby becomes a bitter and withdrawn old lady, she must have experienced many misfortunes. Unfortunately, emotional problems often deeply affect women's views and attitudes towards things. ● Why? ● Sexual intercourse is just a special social relationship. A woman must have had general social activities with a man before having a skin-to-skin blind date with him. Emotional frustration will deeply affect a woman's character, and also obviously and dramatically affect her sexual mood. Emily is a good example. Her sister Hilda described Emily best:' Emily is only thirty-four years old. But, doctor, if you see her, you will think that she is more than this age. She teaches history in a junior university, and most of her students think she is at least forty years old. What is more pitiful is that she is a gentle and kind woman. She took care of her father for ten years until his death last May. Father is a difficult person. She has no interest in men. She is eccentric, and men are seldom interested in her. Her dress is also a problem. Of course, she doesn't have to wear a mini skirt, but no one in the school wears a skirt longer than her knees. I can't persuade her to wear lipstick in any case. The saddest thing is that Emily is actually a good woman. What other activities does she engage in besides teaching? No activity. After her father died, she was cut off from the outside world for most of the time. Occasionally, a man asks her out, but she is not interested. I never understood how she had changed so much. When she was a girl, she was alive and kicking. At that time, I thought she was getting married before she graduated from high school. "Emily finally came to the psychiatrist's office. She said it was mainly to please her sister, because her sister is the only person in her life who still has emotional contact with her. I don't know what Hilda told you, doctor. I'm not interested in sex anyway, and I don't even want to talk about it. If you want to talk to me about something else, I'm all ears; I'm sorry if we talk about sex. "Hilda is right. Emily looks beautiful, but her old-fashioned hairstyle and untidy clothes make her look much older than her age. If you don't want to talk about sex, let's not say a word at all. How can you be so unhappy? Emily sighed and said, "I didn't know my unhappy appearance would be so conspicuous!" " She tried to speak, but she began to cry. She wiped her tears with a dozen pieces of toilet paper. After drinking a cup of tea, she finally spoke again. I can't explain it. Fifteen years later, I seem to be drying up. At first, I tried to get rid of this feeling-you know, I tried to date and find something new, but it didn't work. I always feel that every man is pursuing one thing-sex, and I am afraid of that. "I thought you didn't want to talk about sex!" Oh, it doesn't matter. Since I'm so unlucky, it doesn't matter what I say. Emily received psychotherapy to cure her root causes: depression and anxiety, plus a strong sense of guilt. She gradually realized that for more than ten years, she had been subconsciously trying to put the fear and disappointment of her girlhood in her immediate life. Soon, she began to pay attention to her dress and appearance again and went out on a date. She stopped picking men who made her depressed, and she became young and lively again-even younger than her actual age. After six months of treatment, Emily eloped with the vice principal of the school. After the honeymoon, she went to see her psychiatrist. Doctor, I came to see you today. I want to tell you how happy I am now. I don't know what effect psychotherapy has on others, but your treatment has brought me a miracle that nature can't do-it has made me a real woman. "For women with 100% orgasm disorder, the only effective treatment is psychotherapy, because this disorder is caused by psychological worship, and sexual difficulty is only a manifestation of emotional depression. How old are the women who are too old to receive this treatment? From a practical point of view, no age is old. As long as women are interested in finding the crux and overcoming it, it is valuable to receive psychotherapy. Of course, the older the patient is, the more difficult it is for her to enjoy the fruits of treatment. However, occasionally, after treatment, women in their fifties and sixties actually have the first activity in their lives. People who have just accepted new sexual concepts will also suffer from orgasm disorder. ● How can it be? Every thirty years or so, there will be a so-called sexual revolution in our society. In other words, the younger generation will sooner or later abandon the sexual restrictions imposed on them by conservative parents and teachers. They think they are fighters of sexual freedom, rather than following the shackles of that set of stale moral concepts, breaking through barriers and rushing to the goal of sexual freedom. Unfortunately, they overlooked two things. First, they didn't know that their parents had set off a revolution in the past-they called it the' turbulent twenties'; Their grandparents also crossed the barriers of the past-that era was called the' carefree 1990s'. Obviously, the younger generation always resists the moral standards followed by the previous generation. Basically, this is a social problem, which is often solved easily. If every 40-year-old mother with a solid marriage can trap her 10-year-old daughter with her code of conduct, the world will become boring. Fortunately, mothers usually can't trap their daughters. Besides, twenty years later, today's girl will become a mother, and she will do the same to her daughters. If the daughter doesn't understand this process, she will definitely get into trouble. Many 18 to 25-year-old young people are usually passionate about the belief in sexual freedom, but sometimes the brain will cut this line before this information reaches the sexual organs. In fact, it sends two kinds of messages on the same line-one is:' All goes well! Do what you want! Sometimes another message is louder. It warns, what if you are pregnant? "Does he really love you?" Fear during sexual intercourse can't reach its climax, and guilt during sexual intercourse can't reach its climax. ● Why can't fear reach its climax? People's sexual intercourse is dispensable, and they can't live without sexual intercourse; Only when other more important desires are satisfied will people pursue sexual satisfaction. Diet, shelter and a minimum sense of security are the first items. When human beings encounter any form of threat, they are instinctively ready to take action. The first thing you can't get is an orgasm. Secondly, men may become unwilling to lift, and then both men and women will completely lose their sexual desire. If a 19-year-old girl is confused about whether she should, it will prevent her from reaching orgasm during sexual intercourse. A 25-year-old female secretary is divorced and has two children. She may be worried about getting pregnant again ('Did I forget to take birth control pills today? ) and can't reach orgasm. Another well-known factor is the so-called "vaginal compromise". Many unmarried and sexually active girls often have two opposing forces in their hearts:' I need sexual satisfaction! I want sexual satisfaction! However, the old ideas still in their hearts are shouting:' premarital sex is wrong! Leave your virginity to your husband! Because the brain can't compromise these two opposing ideas, it leaves things to the multifunctional organ-vagina, which leads to (almost) guilt-free sexual intercourse and occasionally fails to reach orgasm. Sexual intercourse' crime' immediately has a' punishment', which is orgasm disorder. Vagina plays a dual role, both as a judge and an executioner-this is a perfect compromise. Perfection means that if you don't object to that cruel and unusual punishment. ● Why is it cruel? ● There are two reasons. First of all, this scene is like the punishment of Phrygia King Tan talos. According to Greek mythology, Tantalus was punished by standing in the water with his chin high, and his mouth was very thirsty. Every time he bowed his head to drink water, the water retreated and wouldn't let him drink. Those women with orgasm disorder will know how King Tantalus suffered. There is nothing more painful in the world than the climax coming and suddenly passing away. The second (and most tragic) punishment is unnecessary punishment. An adult with normal body and mind has no reason to constantly punish himself for violating the moral standards that a ten-year-old child should abide by. It's too much for middle school girls to have sex three times a week (although some middle school students really have sex so frequently), but it's unreasonable to oppose a 22-year-old girl having sex three times a week and having abundant sex hormones. Every form of sexual behavior has its most suitable time and place. If a woman has not had sex at the age of 22, what age should she wait? Do we have to wait until we are sixty-five? But wouldn't it be better to wait until after marriage to have sex? ● Maybe so. But just like her Chun Qing excitement, taking a cold bath every night is not necessarily better for her mental health. The most important thing is to remember that sex is a legal thing, and the continuation of human beings depends on the persistent coitus of men and women regardless of all obstacles and obstacles. The instinct to carry on the family line is irresistible. The urgent task is to standardize sexual life in a certain circle, so that both men and women can get the greatest sense of security and satisfaction. For most people, that circle is marriage. However, in case you can't get married for some reason, the only choice is a physical life without marriage. No form of sex life is so boring that it is not worth exploring its possibilities. ) ● But what do people in society think? In fact, 98% people in society don't care much about other people's sexual behavior. The remaining 2% people probably won't have the courage to take the same action if they stare at others all day. If our society monitors whether everyone is promiscuous, as those defenders emphasize, these defenders will not have more and more new life to guide and reorganize them day by day. Fear of making mistakes is the biggest obstacle to sexual pleasure and orgasm. For adults, sex is not a bad thing, unless guilt during sexual intercourse will lead to more theft. A woman who has suffered from it can prove the above truth more accurately: Johnny is a flight attendant who grew up on a farm in Iowa, USA. She has the mature appearance and elegant figure of a 23-year-old girl-she (almost) knows how to use the money. Doctor, I don't think I need to lie to you. She crossed her legs and pulled the feet of the miniskirt-there was no need. I have everything a girl wants-an exciting job, completely unrestrained, and there are enough men for me to choose from every day. "But I just can't seem to get-I mean-what I really dream of …" Tears mingled with the makeup on her face. Have you ever had an orgasm? Never. The harder I work, the worse it gets! I seem to be getting farther and farther away from the climax. I'm afraid I'm not interested in that if this continues! Tears washed the makeup off her face. Whether she understood it or not, when she climbed into a new environment with a jet, her subconscious repeatedly reminded her of the moral code in her hometown in Iowa-the moral code she learned from her mother long before she saw the plane. With her professional wisdom and understanding, she gradually found that the boudoir training taught by her mother fifteen years ago may not be applicable to her present life. At that time, she was wearing a dress sewn in a flour bag. Now, her clothes have gone out of the stage of leather bag, and her personality and lifestyle have surpassed the moral norms of leather bag. After she understood this truth, it was no longer difficult to reach orgasm. She finally got married happily. At Christmas, she wrote to her doctor and said,' Although I was a stewardess, I didn't really grow wings until I went to your clinic! ● Is frigidity possibly due to physical defects? Structurally, female reproductive organs may be one of the safest objects in the world today. Every part of the organ is equipped with substitutes to prevent mistakes. But even so, there will be problems occasionally, and unless it is repaired in time, sexual intercourse will not reach its climax. The biggest physiological obstacle of orgasm is hymen. If this film is really naughty, it can really make people do it! If a woman's hymen is thick and tough, it can prevent the penis from charging forward. Every time the penis touches the hymen and bounces back, the hymen becomes more swollen and painful, and even the most impatient virgin has to stop. Stubborn hymen is the burden of modern civilization. In a primitive society, the older women in the tribe broke the hymen with a pointed stick when the girl had her first menstrual cramp, saving all the trouble. ● What should modern women do if they encounter such difficulties? She had to imitate the old way to clean it up once and for all. Go to the hospital, wrap the sheets, take some sedatives, lie down and let the doctor do hymen surgery. The doctor will make a cross-shaped incision on the hymen with a stainless steel scalpel, which is the first half of the operation. The operation in the second half is the most important. Just like piercing ears, this kind of cross stitch must try to keep split. About a week after cutting, after the pain disappears, the husband or boyfriend should use any suitable tool to open the crack. Be sure to have frequent sexual intercourse in the first six weeks, remove the residual film, and make the vagina completely smooth. ● Is this the only trouble that the hymen can cause? ● No, the hymen will not only make men worry about whether it is perfect, but also cause other troubles. On the vaginal wall of women over 40 years old, the place where the hymen used to grow (assuming that their hymen is responsible for a long time) may be inflamed. At this time, instead of a few residual hymens, a thick cocoon called "(hymen mound)" is attached to the vaginal wall. This mound is like a guard, guarding the lower wall of the vaginal opening. It hurts when the penis gnaws at this mound. The treatment is to treat the cause of caruncle, that is, estrogen deficiency. ● Will young women suffer other kinds of cold reception? ● Maybe. Perhaps the most common obstacle to orgasm (usually a temporary obstacle) is what most people call "honeymoon coldness". It takes some time for the two sexes to achieve coordination in the subtle and intimate behavior of sexual intercourse, and they will be disappointed if they want to reach the climax during their honeymoon. Even if the wedding night is not the first time for two new people to share the same bed, the complexity of the wedding and the anxiety and tension of coping with this scene will ruin the climax. Sometimes things are worse than this. Miss Su will tell you what happened to her: I almost burst into laughter in retrospect, but I really thought it was the end of the world that night. After the wedding, tea and dinner, Tony and I entered the hotel near midnight. After we talked for a few minutes, I took off my clothes and went to bed. This is our first formal indulgence. I mean, before we got married, we often played together, but we never insisted. Then he also went to bed. We are both very excited. He kissed me all over. I held him to my side, but he suddenly froze. I don't know what's going on-I'm a little scared. Then he said, "Did you bring it?" I asked him, "What to bring?" He said, "Condoms. You don't want to get pregnant tonight, do you? "Oh, he forgot to bring it. God knows, I don't even have that thing. We finally decided, like it or not, that the arrow had been injured and had to be sent away-at least that's what we thought at the time. However, he just can't get in. The harder he works, the sadder I feel. I want to help him. I tried for a long time, and it was painful, so I had to stop. It's already three o'clock at midnight. We rested for a few minutes, and he found some vaseline in the bathroom. He put some oil on it and I gritted my teeth. He finally went in, which we thought was natural. At this moment, I suddenly felt a little strange, thinking that he had broken through some obstacles. But then I thought that my period was coming, so I told him it didn't matter whether I came or not. When he pulled out his penis, his semen came out, which is what happened that night. By the time we go to bed, the sun has already risen. "This is the worst night of my life!" I really have nothing to complain about. That period only came for three days, and after three days, we both recovered from the panic. After the honeymoon, everything was satisfactory-Tony and I made up for the loss that night! Sue's experience is a special case. Although these embarrassing things happen together, they are not common. In fact, it is very rare that the wedding night can be as harmonious as expected, but there is no need for newlyweds to stick to it. Just like anything else, sexual intercourse has an adaptation period. Men and women must learn to adapt to each other's reactions. Sometimes, they should give up unrealistic dreams-in order to achieve perfection. ● What is an unrealistic dream? Commercial rendering, such as movies, calligraphy and painting, television, etc. Both describe copulation as two innocent bodies that blend perfectly with each other and then reach a wonderful state of ecstasy. This is possible in theory, but the general sex life is not so ideal. If a woman dreams of the pleasure when the penis enters the vagina, she is doomed to be disappointed. Sexual intercourse can be wonderful sometimes, but sexual intercourse is, after all, a mutual agreement between two people's minds and bodies. Like other human behaviors, it also has its boundaries and inevitable defects, and high expectations often lead to disappointment. If a couple can't have one or two, or even one or twenty, satisfactory sexual intercourse, they still have 7,000 opportunities for improvement in their later marriage. So, the problem of frigidity often solves itself? Unfortunately, this is not the case. Sometimes both men and women do their best, but things get worse, which may also be because of ignorance. Wendy has been married for six months. She is twenty-four years old. She went to see a doctor because she couldn't get pregnant. In fact, things are much more complicated:' You know, Ted and I are eager to have children. There are only two small holes in our house. I hope to have a big family as soon as possible. "Oh, it's a little early to worry about not getting pregnant after only six months of marriage. Do you use contraception? What is contraception? Doctor. With this question, the doctor guessed the crux of their problem. When you have sex with your husband, you don't feel anything, do you? Wendy. Wendy shook her head hard and tears welled up in her eyes:' I don't even know what I'm doing! Sex life should not be so boring. Just-just different! Fortunately, it doesn't hurt as much as it did at first! The nurse prepared for her examination, and the doctor finally confirmed his suspicion. Wendy's hymen is still intact-in fact, Wendy is still a virgin. Her urethra is cracked-there's no problem putting your index finger in it. As far as sex life is concerned, Ted and Wendy are actually in the dark. Ted got off on the wrong foot from the start. Because Wendy thought that sexual intercourse would definitely cause pain, she burst into tears and didn't complain. Over time, the urethra will naturally yield, but this is not the way to get pregnant. The doctor performed a hymen incision for Wendy and pointed out the maze for them. Three months later, the good news came. Hymen closed, plus the wrong door-this is enough to cause sexual apathy. Are some women's sex organs born different, so that they can't reach orgasm? ● The correlation between the structure of sexual organs and orgasm may be minimal. For example, women without clitoris, vagina or even artificial vagina can reach orgasm. ● Are some women born without these sexual organizations? ● Yes. A few women have incomplete clitoris and vagina development, and some women have toxic tumors that must be removed. Whether born with defects or removed, these women can still reach orgasm. Plastic surgeons invented a technique. They can transplant the epidermis on the inner thigh to a cylinder to create an artificial vagina, and then sew the artificial vagina in the position that the natural vagina should occupy. Our bodies are very adaptable. After many sexual intercourse, the original thigh epidermis is no longer epidermis, and gradually has various characteristics of normal vaginal wall. Even more amazing is that within six months, about 70% of women with artificial vaginas often reach orgasm. The neural network around the vulva is very dense, and any stimulation to the vulva can cause orgasm. Every woman can always achieve her goal as long as she has the heart to reach orgasm. So why do so many women fail to reach orgasm? Because they are the victims of inner resistance. If a woman has a bad relationship with a man (husband or boyfriend), she often can't express her feelings. Her husband may be a reliable long-term meal ticket, but he is indifferent to her sexual needs. She may be intellectually satisfied with what she has and put aside emotional emptiness. But subconsciously, her feelings may silently resist. The concrete manifestation of this resistance is the behavior of suppressing orgasm. Angela is like this. Here is her confession:' Alex and I have been married for ten years, and I still don't know what to do. I tried my best to reach the climax, and now I really want to give up.' The worst part is that I have nothing to complain about. Alex is very diligent and has a good life. Most women want him to be their husband. But doing it with him (I know I shouldn't mention it) was good at first, and then suddenly got cold feet at the critical moment. I have hardly had an orgasm in seven years. You said that most women would want Alex to be their husband. What about you? I'm beginning to wonder if I want to. Every weekend, we visit his mother. He looks like a child in front of his mother. He almost forgot my existence, and his mind was full of his "little mother". I just hate her! Angela blushed and put out her cigarette violently, and her knuckles became pale and bloodless. After several conversations, people found that Angela not only "hates her", but also hates Alex's mother. In fact, she turned her mind that could have been used to make love with Alex to hate her mother-in-law. The sacred image of Alex's' little mother' has never been mentioned between two people-Alex is forbidden to mention it, so Angelica can only use her sexual organs to resist in bed-subconsciously. She bears a grudge against his mother as much as he does. This kind of revenge can be said to be quite satisfactory, but she took advantage of her sexual pleasure. In order to eliminate this inner conflict, we must get Alex's cooperation. He protested at first: "No psychiatrist is allowed to intervene between me and my mother!" After several interviews, he finally realized that his mother had intervened between him and his wife, and he almost dared to break off the relationship with his mother. He goes to see his mother once a month, trying to see her from an adult's point of view, and things are getting better-only when Alex has sex on the eve of going to see her mother will Angela not reach orgasm. ● Are orgasm disorders related to husbands? Almost everything is related, sometimes it is not obvious. Take Allen for example:' Doctor, I don't know what's going on. I tried to do what Jim said and read all the books on sexual skills he brought back. I also let Jim try all the tricks we could think of, but I was numb. "What does Jim think? Oh, he has read a lot of books, and he is not happy with my cold response. He really thinks that if he can't satisfy me, there must be something wrong with him. Whenever he reaches orgasm before me (/kloc-99 times out of 0/00), he is depressed. Sometimes he is too sad to sleep. Allen managed to squeeze out a smile: "I told him it doesn't matter-tell him to mind his own business and leave me alone." . I'm already longing for an orgasm. For Allen, sex is like washing clothes, but it's just a routine, and Jim is so methodical about sex. The truth came out after they talked to the psychiatrist several times. Jim and Allen knew nothing about sex before they got married. As Allen said, "I was at Jim's mercy" because "men are very good at that". As a matter of fact, Jim is a layman, and he really panicked. Their sex life is simply a copy of those sex books. Their sex life can be said to be well-behaved, but it lacks emotional elements. Allen's sexual knowledge is not much better. She just subconsciously blames her husband (she has reason to blame) for his mechanized steps in sexual intercourse. In fact, real emotional communication during sexual intercourse can make up for any defects. Even if the skills are not skilled enough, gentleness and sweetness can make two people reach the point of harmony. After they found that their ways were too rigid, Jim put down his books. Allen no longer felt like an experimental class, but really like a wife. In this way, the climax replaced the constant loss. Jim said afterwards, "To tell you the truth, Allen and I learned more from several carnival experiences than from that pile of books! What will happen if a woman suffers from orgasm disorder but doesn't know that the root of the problem is money? If so, she is bound to be disappointed again and again, sometimes resulting in a' broken pot and rotten stove' marriage (that is, the combination of both parties is defective). Women with orgasm disorder often unconsciously choose a husband who is impotent, and the time he can support is not enough to make her excited-even if he can arouse her lust, she may not be able to reach orgasm. When a woman chooses a relatively defective husband, she will never reach the realm she subconsciously wants to avoid-sexual satisfaction. Sometimes this kind of abnormal psychology can have very unfortunate consequences. ● What are the unfortunate consequences? If this kind of woman thinks that the only way to make her reach orgasm is to find a' suitable' penis, she will take action. This kind of woman is generally called' Hua Dian'. She doesn't know the crux of her problem. She often goes from party to party today and tomorrow, looking for' real satisfaction'. The man who took the knife for her thought he took advantage of her, but he didn't take advantage of her at all, because she was just a victim of mental conflict. When a dissolute woman thinks that the way people do everything has lost its magic, she would rather give up the' exciting' days of continuous sadness and find a person she loves to have a normal sex life. The' magic penis' she is looking for is definitely nowhere to be found, because the key to the problem is not the penis and vagina, but in her own head. ● Has Huadian reached its climax? ● Yes. Huadian is a humorous question. Just like an impotent man, his penis is quite strong when it is useless. The flower dancer may reach orgasm when the opportunity is gone. This situation is often very disappointing. This kind of woman sometimes feels that she has finally found her goal. For example, she met a man who could attract her at a banquet, on the lawn of a cocktail party, or beside a cabin in a ski resort. After a relatively normal reaction for one night (sometimes two, three or several nights), she was overjoyed. After all, her' search' didn't fail, and she can finally calm down and enjoy it. However, trouble is coming, such an unfortunate woman-often in trouble. When her relationship with this man changed from accidental ambiguity to frequent trysts, her brain was working and the climax was drifting away. ● Why is this happening? Because she sees sexual intercourse as a fling. When she and someone