There is a child whose head looks like a brick, and all his classmates laugh at him! He went back and asked his mother, "Is my head a brick?" Mom says you can take pictures by the well! So the child came to the well, put his head in, and heard someone shouting, "Don't throw bricks at the people above!" "

2.

A student went to see a doctor. The doctor checked and said, "It doesn't matter, just an injection."

The doctor wiped the students' arms with cotton wool three or four times.

Thinking that he was seriously ill, the student asked anxiously, "Doctor, is the problem serious?"

The doctor said seriously, "classmate, it's time for you to take a bath."

3.

The commander ordered everyone to report to the opposite mountain.

The first person is late. He said, report to the captain! I ride a bike, and my bike is broken. I changed my car and it broke down. I rode a horse and it died. I'm leaving!

The second person was late, too. He said, report to the captain! I ride a bike, and my bike is broken. I changed my car and it broke down. I rode a horse and it died. I'm leaving!

The third man was late, too. He said, Report to the captain! I ride a bike, and my bike is broken. I changed my car and it broke down. I rode a horse and it died. I'm leaving!

The fourth man came up and said, report to the captain! I ride a bike. My bike is broken. I change trains. ...

Before he finished, the commander shouted loudly, "Don't tell me that the car is broken and you ride a horse. Come here if the horse dies!" "

The fourth person who was late said, report to the captain! No, there are too many dead horses on the road to drive. ...

4.

In a dormitory of Shenzhen University, classmate A is playing StarCraft, and Huawei recruiter B walks into the dormitory.

B: Hello, classmate. I'm from Shenzhen Huawei. This is the introduction of our company. Can you take a moment to look at it?

Can't you see I'm busy?

(b waits for a while ...)

Look around, classmate. Our company pays well ~

I don't study very well. I failed several courses!

B: That's all right. We guarantee that you can all pass the make-up exam and get your diploma ~

A: I failed Band 4!

B: That's all right. We are sure that you can pass the graduation smoothly ~

Classmate A had no choice but to sign the contract because it didn't affect playing games. . .

5.

The company organized a trip to Huangshan Mountain. When I passed a toilet, my colleague wanted to go in and take a nap. It happened that several foreigners followed him. I hadn't waited outside for half a minute when my colleagues ran out in a panic.

"So soon?"

The colleague replied with a sad face: "Alas, I really can't get away!" Avoid first, avoid first ... "

6.

A novice went to collect usury. He took out the IOU and said with a smile: It is written clearly in black and white, and you owe my boss 1 10,000! Do you want to default? !

People really don't have that much money, he threatened: hum! Don't blame me for not reminding you! If you can't pay it back tomorrow, your house will be just like it-he took out his lighter and burned the loan. ...

7.

In order to prove that spiders' hearing is on their feet, a university graduate student did the following comparative experiments:

1: College students put a spider on the experimental platform, and then shouted at the spider, and the spider scared away!

2. Say that finish, college students caught the poor spider back, put it on the experimental platform, and cut off all the spider's feet!

He yelled at the spider again, and the spider stopped moving!

This proves that the spider's hearing is on the foot!

8.

There is a new kind of wine in the bar. In order to attract customers, a sign was set up at the door, which read: whoever can complete our three tasks with a bottle of our new wine will drink it for free in our store for one month!

An alcoholic tried it, and a bottle of it staggered and asked the boss what his task was. The boss said to him:

1. Skip the brazier we gave you.

Pull out a bad tooth for the hippo in the zoo opposite.

Go to the fourth floor next door and meet all the requirements of a widow.

So the drunkard started to do it. ....

He jumped over the brazier easily.

Then I went to the zoo and went to the hippo. The bar owner stood at the door waiting for him, only to hear a scream from the hippo inside. The boss thought: this guy is really good!

After a while, the drunk came out drunk. He asked the boss: where is that ... that ... woman who wants to have her teeth pulled out ... again?