The sign of a domestic violence man: it is easy to get out of control at home. Many people think that men with violent tendencies tend to get out of control easily, which is an impulsive character. But in fact, I have seen many men who are impulsive outside and may fight at any time, but they never touch their wives' fingers when they get home. Some soldiers and career-oriented strongmen are domineering and easy to get emotional outside, but they just don't touch their wives when they go home, so when looking at men, we can't classify emotional loss as one type because there are differences. Men who are prone to domestic violence are the most dangerous ones who are "easily out of control at home". You can observe that men who suddenly rage at home and scold their wives, men who smash things at home, and men who take it out on their wives at will are basically prone to domestic violence. Why is there such an obvious difference between losing control and losing control at home? Very simple, because for men, there is often a place to do things. Those who are easily out of control outside, they can tell what is the contradiction between the enemy and ourselves. They are impulsive outside in order to get benefits at home. There are foreign enemies outside and our own people inside. On the contrary, people who are out of control at home have lost their position and don't know who is one of their own. They are the most selfish. For these people, as long as they have feelings, even their parents dare to kill. What does your wife do? The second symptom of a domestic violence man: drug abuse, gambling, sadism, severe alcoholism and other addictive habits. I always say that men with addictive habits can't have them. These bad habits include drug abuse, gambling, sadism and heavy drinking (don't generalize if you don't smoke). Why can't I have it? Because these addictive bad habits will change a person's personality, lose control of emotions and distort personality. Some people have a good temper when they first fall in love with you, but even if they have these bad habits, they can't have them. Because these bad habits can't be quit, it is almost inevitable to change a person's character. In one case, a girl married a man who likes gambling. At first, they had a good time, but the more he gambled, the more he lost. Finally, he was in a bad mood, out of control, and beat his wife at home. Since then, domestic violence has become a behavior habit. As long as a man loses money, he goes home and beats his wife. His wife tried several times to get a divorce, but all failed. She was chased and beaten, followed and beaten, and finally had to hide in a domestic violence shelter to get rid of it temporarily. More than 25% of domestic violence comes from personality distortion, and addiction almost always leads to a person's personality distortion, which makes the incidence of domestic violence surprisingly high. If your boyfriend is addicted to gambling (vicious), taking drugs, or has a sadistic tendency, then the possibility of domestic violence in the future is very high and must be avoided. Male symbol of domestic violence 3: moral bottomless pit What is a moral bottomless pit? Do bad people have to beat their wives? Not necessarily. Some people who break the law, even murderers and criminals, may be good to their families. Some people steal just for their families, while others break the law just for their children. They break the law, but it's not that morality has no bottom line. If a person doesn't even care about his family, he would rather sacrifice his family for his own benefit. When he is happy, he can hurt his relatives and make them suffer. Then this person is a moral bottomless pit. At home, no matter who is angry, there are times of excitement. But how can you control yourself from hurting your family? What is the controlling force? It is the basic moral bottom line and a person's basic control ability. If this person ignores his family and always treats his loved ones like dirt, completely cold-blooded and heartless, disloyal and unfilial, then when he is excited, hurting his family becomes a common occurrence, and domestic violence is simply a weapon for him to vent his emotions. In other words, he doesn't love his family at all, nor does he love his wife and children, so of course he will hit you if he is unhappy. Mark 4: Self-respect for life. There is another type, that is, men have super self-esteem and self-esteem is stronger than life. Finally, the implementation of domestic violence is to maintain self-esteem. When a man values face more than life, the people around him must be in danger. Because just a little rumor can break this man's defense and make him regard you as an enemy. The fifth symptom of domestic violence men: personality distortion and mental illness. The last point is medically recognized. Mania, depression, schizophrenia, menopausal psychosis, all of which may bring the influence of domestic violence. These diseases can be recognized by medicine and easily distinguished in normal life. For girls, find a normal boyfriend, not an eccentric boyfriend. Finding a cheerful and lively boyfriend, rather than a gloomy and difficult one, can also effectively avoid these problems. What deserves everyone's vigilance is that domestic violence is always gradual. At first, this kind of person may just lose his temper at home, but slowly, he starts to do something lightly, then slaps, and finally he can do anything when his emotions get out of control. If you have a conflict with your partner and it is irreparable, don't lose heart. You might as well add an assistant to your emotional teacher and ask her to help you arrange a counselor who is good at solving emotional problems. First analyze the emotional problems and give you professional advice. Psychological analysis of men in domestic violence 2 There is such a pair of parents who often quarrel in front of their children. Children have done commendable things, but they have never been affirmed; If you make a mistake, you will be laughed at. So the child becomes unconfident and weak. Being bullied at school and experiencing campus violence. Children can't complain to anyone, can't trust their parents, have a strong defensive mentality, and won't trust others easily, so they have no friends, no one to trust and talk to, and all the joys and sorrows can only be digested by one person. So, after a long time, the whole person became withdrawn. In the unbearable loneliness that ordinary people think, they live quite comfortably, but they hate getting along with a group of people. People with this personality can easily find a sense of similarity and identity from gentle and lovely women who are also lonely and indifferent. However, the unfortunate childhood has planted twisted seeds in his heart. It always finds a place to vent, so that people who have been oppressed since childhood can make up for this psychological gap by bullying others, and find the missing pleasure from the pain of abusing and bullying others. Therefore, in the face of "animals" who look "weak", once they are in a particularly bad mood, or the other party does something that makes you particularly disgusted, the abuser will break through the moral shackles and abuse. Seeing each other in pain will produce a kind of pleasure that has been missing. Motivation-demand From a psychological point of view, there is motivation behind any behavior of people. So motivation itself is also the expression of this person's inner needs. Because there is a certain demand, there is a corresponding behavior. Besides eating and sleeping, there is a motive behind any language and behavior of people. Once this kind of motive has evil characteristics and becomes the impulse to satisfy people's crimes, then no matter how exaggerated the behavior is, it will become the root of an evil motive. People's behavior will be influenced by social values. Most normal people will restrain themselves and hide their inner dark psychology. And some people, when their values are distorted or their behavior is out of control, will have some abnormal motives, which will lead to extreme behavior. Such as self-mutilation, domestic violence, abuse, and even murder. Among the 270 million families in China, nearly 1 100 million married women have suffered domestic violence; Among the prisoners, 68.6% female prisoners have experienced domestic violence. Some people want to get rid of murder and get pleasure. They can find emotional outlets in this evil behavior. Such as domestic violence, human abuse, animals and so on. There are also seemingly rational motives behind these behaviors that ordinary people cannot understand. These behaviors also express people's psychological demands. Such behavior let them vent their unhappiness and gain satisfaction. This kind of behavior may also be strengthened in several behaviors, forming a connection, thus alleviating one's substitution imagination and out-of-control emotions. There are generally two situations of abuse: the first is that you are under too much pressure and inadvertently find that abuse can relieve your pressure, and accidental behavior becomes a habit; The other is that the individual has suffered violence or cold violence and can't fight back against the abuser, so he chooses to attack a life weaker than himself. Through abuse, I feel the power of personal strength, and some people will share it to let more people see their abilities. Outside criticism will not arouse their guilt, but will get strange excitement. The louder the accusation, the more excited they are. Of course, it doesn't really work to relieve your heart knot in this way. After excitement, they often fall into loss and pain. When abuse can no longer meet their own needs, they will fall into a more painful situation. If they accidentally find other alternatives, they will start a new round of self-destruction. Although the excuses given for some abuses are unacceptable, in their view, they can excuse their violation of moral standards. According to Freud's instinct theory, it is an instinct for people to fantasize about death or do things related to death. It is an opposing force in the development of life and represents a destructive, aggressive and self-destructive driving force lurking in human life. When its energy is thrown outward, it shows destruction, attack, provocation and so on. When throwing inward, it shows self-punishment, self-destruction and so on. The sadistic maladjusted instinct will be satisfied through this part of the ID. Subconsciously, they want to destroy everything that can be abused. However, they also restrain their behavior through social norms, making them realize that if they abuse people regardless of their targets, they will be severely punished by law in addition to being condemned by their conscience. In the end, they follow the principle of reality and adjust their behavior. Therefore, based on this, every domestic violence man, in his mind, just thinks that his domestic violence is a feature that can control his emotions-"I can control the scale." On the other hand, they have to be aware of their own motives and deal with public opinion, so they will feel very anxious. This requires them to take some behaviors that meet their own requirements and conform to moral norms to control this emotion. We call this method a self-defense mechanism. You may think that domestic violence, cat abuse and child abuse are abnormal enough, but in the abuser's view, this kind of behavior is much better than other more excessive behaviors (such as killing and self-abuse). They believe that this self-defense mechanism belongs to the scope of rationalization and can accept their own behavior. They will make excuses for their actions in their hearts. For example, they will think: my own wife (my own family, pets), I have this autonomy, and no one can blame me. And therefore, indulge in this kind of abuse and kill life to get pleasure. If you attack them for this criticism, they may feel wronged. There are so many bad guys and murderers, don't you blame them for attacking me? In their view, they are absolutely innocent and there is nothing wrong with their personality. To some extent, these abusers still have a certain sense of conscience and morality, so with proper guidance and adjustment, they may recover to become a mentally healthy person. However, if left unchecked, the end result is likely to be a sadist or a murderer. Almost all psychopathic murderers will have the experience of torturing and killing small animals in the early stage of personality formation. Hidden narcissism People can feel the violent man and generally have hidden narcissism. In the study of the relationship between narcissism and self-esteem, implicit narcissism and self-esteem are always negatively correlated. Therefore, the fragile can't accept themselves and feel useless; On the other hand, there is an idea that "I am actually unique". A sense of conceit In fact, men who have domestic violence are extremely narcissistic. This kind of narcissism belongs to recessive narcissism. Therefore, the closer people are, the more indifferent, selfish, sensitive and aggressive they feel. On the other hand, the hidden narcissist's own sensitivity, fragility and inability to trust others will also bring pain to himself. I like to choke my lover by tightening her neck. Seeing her painful expression will give my brain a special pleasure. My solution is how to treat her after waking up and how to treat myself.