Category: Speech-Tang

Mr. Li Ao has naked confessions: extensive reading, a huge pen, being in charge of accusations, not hesitating to go to jail, challenging taboos, disdaining kitsch, many friends, many enemies and a girlfriend. "More girlfriends" is enough to show how good Mr. Li Ao is at picking up girls.

Look at how Mr. Li Ao wrote a love letter to the heroine of the movie Out of the Window (Li called her "H"):

Dear "H":

When will you come to see me? Let me show you what a real man is.

don't think that the men you met or kicked off are men. They are all not. They are just "male animals".

You have never met a real man. You only see many "male animals", and you think those "male animals" are men.

what a poor beautiful woman!

I want to revise your definition of "man" for more than 2 years. I feel so sad when I see you with those fake men.

why don't perfect women meet 1% men? I want to investigate this answer thoroughly. I want to get this answer from you.

don't laugh at me for being conceited and arrogant. If you meet me, you will fail.

ao 1964, 8, 4

Dear "H":

Waiting for your call, it seems that there is a sailor drifting on a desert island, waiting for a lifeboat. -so eager, and so slim.

but what if we wait? It may be a "thief boat" and you are a "female pirate".

I'm going to be tortured and punished for hard work on the boat.

I will shout "Dear H" in my mouth and scold "Damn pirate" in my heart.

sometimes I really don't understand why women torture men. Life is so short that it's too short to have fun all day, and it's not enough to have a candlelight night outing. Why waste your life scheming? Waste time Play a trick on one?

...

There is a typhoon blowing outside the window, and I am so lonely.

oh, 1964, nine, nine. After waking up.

Dear "H":

I sent you back last night, took two tablets of Doriden and barely slept for four hours. I woke up at four o'clock this morning and have been working. It's almost ten o'clock now.

it rained this morning, and it was so gloomy and dreary. I miss you so much, so lonely.

have you recovered from your illness? I'm really worried. You should listen to me. If you still feel sick, go to see a doctor. For fear that you might meet a "romantic doctor", I worked hard for a while and cut a bunch of advertisements for "female doctors" for you, hoping that you would send money. They should give me a tenth of what you paid in your red wallet as a commission.

Tolstoy, the author of War and Peace, in his other masterpiece Anna Karenina, there is a passage describing a male doctor treating a female patient. That girl will cry again after being treated! It's wonderful!

But on the other hand, it is also very troublesome for male patients to see female doctors. It is no wonder that in 1813, at the meeting of county doctors in Russia, a member suggested asking a female doctor to walk.

I'm "stupid" now: I really shouldn't study literature and history, but I should study engineering and medicine. In that case, when you are healthy, I am an engineer; When you were sick, I was a doctor, so it would be nice to have a fling!

Open your mailbox, but close your heart. O！ "H", you are a woman who should go to hell more than me.

Li Ao, who is always "passive" (except in bed), wrote

1964, 9, 28, Monday

Dear "H":

I went to bed at four o'clock this morning, but I missed you so much that I couldn't sleep ...

But I thought of the briefs made in the Philippines, and I laughed again. How big it is! You must live to be a hundred years old to grow up to such a big ass!

But you won't live to be 1 years old, and you are "unlucky". I will cooperate closely with you on this point-I am also short-lived.

Besides, it's not necessary to live to be 1 in order to grow a big ass. What should I do if I grow too hot and my ass is too big to fit in the coffin? You have to order a curved coffin.

I think the coffin style is the most conservative thing, and it should be improved. One of the directions of progress is that coffins should vary from person to person. For example, for a hunchbacked person, the coffin should be oval; A one-legged person, the coffin should be made to lack a quarter of the shape; For a person who is short of hands, the coffin should be made into an 8-shape; For a chubby person (such as Professor Dong), the coffin should be made into a round shape, and a round shape should be attached to hold his chubby motorcycle. As for myself, I'm going to put a microphone on the coffin-to call names.

as for you, my beauty, you should design some patterns on the coffin, at least "and" a handful of "big three yuan" on the coffin. In this case, even if you are "a beautiful woman with a bad life", you won't "die unsatisfied"

At the same time, a hole should be opened next to the coffin, so that a hand can be stretched out to count as a "fan". Let's see how much money we won.

It's 9: 4 in the morning. I'm going to leave the hotel and walk in the library. Take the sightseeing boat back to Taipei at 7: 3 tonight-I know the place "H".

ao zhi 1964, 9, 13