With the improvement of social level, we all know that the average life expectancy of people in the past was very short, and now 80 years old is a "young adult". However, there are advantages and disadvantages behind longevity. For example, when people reach a certain age, their physical function declines, and illness is a common occurrence, which any family can't bear. Nowadays, young people not only have to bear the pressure of family life in the garage, but also worry about suddenly receiving a phone call from their parents at night.
Recently, I received a private letter from a netizen, which truly reflected the topic that most people care about now. In order to protect privacy, I will take the protagonist of the story as an alias.
Letters from netizens
My name is Jessica Hester Hsuan, and I'm 34 years old. I've just been married for a few years. This year, my mother-in-law suddenly moved into ICU. In order to meet my mother-in-law, I spent all my husband and wife's savings. What is even more chilling is that my mother-in-law has no pension, social security and savings. Many people know that living in ICU ward is equivalent to burning money every day. After struggling for a few days, our savings soon ran out. The doctor told us that the follow-up needs a lot of money. My husband was so anxious to borrow money everywhere, but it was still a drop in the bucket. Perhaps anxious to save my mother, my husband actually had the idea of the wedding room we bought together.
For a self-made family like ours, now the house is our last and only destination. Once it is sold, it is really homeless, because we don't agree on this matter.
He thought I was selfish and scolded me angrily: "What is the situation now? What would you do if it were your parents? "
I was very angry and said, "I will, but don't forget how your parents treated me and my children when I first got married?"
About this matter, we should start from the first year of marriage. At that time, our married husband had nothing at home, which can really be described as poverty. I just want him to be nice to me, and the rest can be done slowly. We made enough down payment on the house by our own hands and bought a bungalow in the county.
Just started to mortgage the house and got pregnant again. After all, we are getting married at an older age, and giving birth at an older age is a dangerous thing in itself. During confinement, I really hope my mother-in-law will take care of me and let me help my husband reduce the pressure of life. But once my mother-in-law didn't care about my confinement, and later she didn't help us with the children, but she was preoccupied with her brother-in-law's family.
My brother-in-law has just been married for less than a year, and my daughter-in-law is very good at being a person, so my mother-in-law naturally likes her better. I really fell in love with the young couple and even let us lend money to my brother-in-law to do business.
I can only take care of my children silently for my mother-in-law's attitude. I know my husband was really hard during that time, and I was not idle at home. I find some manual labor to supplement my family every day, and I sleep less than three hours every day, but I always believe that as long as two people work hard, everything will be fine.
Who knows that the brother-in-law who doesn't know how to do business soon lost all his money, and her mother-in-law talked to us again and asked us to help him pay off his foreign debt. Who let our family be the boss? Because of our brother, we have to pay to help solve the problem.
I will always believe that people who are willing to work hard cannot have a bad life. It was not until the children entered the first grade that our family's life was restored to the previous calm and life began to improve slowly. The mortgage is also finished. In order to improve the quality of life, we bought a new car a few years ago.
However, fate always tests our family life with twists and turns, which is why my mother-in-law is seriously ill and admitted to ICU.
Many people will definitely ask, don't worry so much, isn't there a brother-in-law? I mean it, hehe. When people who can't count on it at all start looking for him to find a way, they just look like they have no money, as if he is not one of their own. A husband who has been honest since childhood will certainly not let his mother go unnoticed, and will be kind to her even if she loses everything. In fact, I can understand my husband's feelings, but the house was bought by the two of us, and it is really not up to one person to decide. With my brother-in-law's attitude, my thoughts are more determined.
I absolutely don't agree to sell the house. But my husband's attitude is very stubborn and he needs treatment anyway. With the money gone, he can still earn. If his mother is gone and his family really breaks up, he will blame himself for life.
Tell the truth, think about what my mother-in-law did to me before, and the more I think about it, the more unhappy I am. Even if I sell the house, can my mother-in-law be cured? This is anybody's guess. Don't be empty until the end. Children and families will eventually suffer.
Maybe many people think I'm unreasonable. Finally, he offered to choose divorce. At present, all the property is divided equally, the child is left to me, and the rest he treats his mother.
When I heard his proposal, I was like a bolt from the blue. We survived from naked marriage to hard work, and now we have to end this marriage because of my mother-in-law's medical problems. I am really helpless, even if I am too reluctant, I have to think about it and agree to his divorce proposal. Maybe it is the best choice for two people to go their separate ways.
Often in marriage, there is no novelty between husband and wife, and many things are really not done well.
I'm really not a woman who loves money, but my mother-in-law loved me too much before, and I know my husband is good to me. I married him in spite of my family's opposition, and now I'm divorced.
Whether to go bankrupt to see a doctor for her mother-in-law is really a difficult choice between morality and reality.
Here I want to say to my mother-in-law: "Good is rewarded with good, and evil with evil." There are many situations like this. Sometimes don't judge them indiscriminately. Maybe many of them are unconscious. For such a mother-in-law, I used to treat my daughter-in-law like this. Why should I ask others to be nice to you in my later years?
To be kind to someone who has hurt himself, you may need the heart of the Virgin Mary. Unfortunately, there is a normal heart in the world. If you are good to me, I will be good to you.
Thinking from another standpoint, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are unrelated relatives and have no responsibility and obligation to treat each other well. It's just that this kind of affection needs communication and maintenance.
Many times we discuss: "Should a mother-in-law take care of her pregnant daughter-in-law? Should the mother-in-law help her daughter-in-law with her children? " Come to think of it, these are mutual. This is the difference between "mutual affection and duty"
So as a child, I really want to know how to respect the elderly. After all, filial piety is the first of all virtues, and it is not easy for a mother-in-law to understand her daughter-in-law.