I smiled and said you were worrying too much. If a girl wakes up again, she will be very sad in the end. And a hundred heartbroken times can't make you indestructible.

city

Text/Lin Daxue

( 1)

She found the corner of the cafe and took out a cigarette to light. She told two boys in the same trade that it was hidden here and smoking was not easy to be caught by acquaintances.

I burst into laughter with a thrush. She didn't look over because she didn't think we were acquaintances. But we all know her. As soon as she came in, someone at the table whispered, look, Lin Liangyu. Thrushcross and I looked up at once. She was still thin, her skin was still white, and she had more amorous feelings. She is a senior one year older than us. I think there is no one in the only middle school in this small town who doesn't know her.

That was a long time ago. 1997? I just entered high school, and she is already a sophomore. From grade one to grade three, she has been in the limelight in this school for six years. Minister of Literature and Art Department of the Student Union, song and dance host, the article was beautifully written, and finally he was admitted to a foreign language college with excellent results. At that time, she loved to laugh and was a rare girl without affectation. Many people greeted her when she left school, and many girls in our class chased her and called her sister Cool Language. At that time, I secretly made up my mind to make her my goal, but I always kept my head down when I saw her.

I know her later news. When I was in college, I went to a bar to sing, not "singing and laughing", but formed a band with a group of boys wearing worn jeans. After graduation, I worked as a translator and went to an advertising company. There is a column in a magazine. She wrote all the big and small things in her life, with a light tone and a sad mood. I can imagine her smoking and typing in front of the computer.

I always meet her several times when I go home during the Spring Festival every year. This town is very small, and people of the same grade know each other more or less when they are studying, and they can get acquainted without names. If you stand at the busiest intersection for five minutes, you are bound to meet acquaintances. All our acquaintances know Liang Lin's language.

Obviously, she thought the scenery of that year was a thing of the past. She curled up in the big sofa and chatted with two boys in the same industry, unaware of how many ears were standing happily. They also talked about middle school and the boys who chased her. She rolled her eyes and said, Come on, I'm old, why are you still coming to me to settle old scores?

By the way, one of the boys, Wang Lefei, is also the man of the year on campus. At the moment, he sat beside Liangyu Lin and said with a smile, you look no different now, walking through the corridor of the teaching building with a ponytail.

It's enviable to be so favored. Liangyu Lin was silent.

(2)

When I was a freshman, I fell in love with thrush's brother Shen Xingruo. He is a year older than us and a classmate of Liangyu Lin's. Every time he plays basketball, I drag a thrush to watch it. When I go to thrush's home to do my homework, he will throw two lollipops through the study, lean against the door and say, "Thrushcross, Bao Xiao is beautiful, and her grades are better than yours. Don't you feel ashamed to stick with her? "

I blushed and bravely responded: Are you implying that I will come to your house less in the future?

He smacked his lips and walked away: at this age, he was mean. What should he do in the future?

I was so angry that I shouted in my heart, Shen Xingre, I am only one year younger than you. If I fall in love with you in ten years, you will even think that I am too old.

Thrushcross doesn't know my mind. She is the kind of girl who is completely naive. She dragged me into Shen Xingre's room and peeked at his diary, which was full of cold words.

I told Thrushcross that your brother is in such a good condition that he likes being chased by others!

Thrushcross opened his mouth wide: fear, puppy love, my mother knew that she was killed by a stick.

Yes, we are all good students. At that time, high school students were not as taken for granted as they are now, and all the little feelings were hidden in their hearts, sweet again and again. Three years in high school is fast. I said to myself, I want to go to the same university as Shen Xingruo, and I'd better bring a thrush.

Will Shen Xingruo and Liangyu Lin be admitted to the same school? I only know that on the eve of the college entrance examination in Liangyu Lin, the boy who lives opposite her home wrapped an apple in paper and threw it into her window. The note says that you are as cute as an apple. I wish you a smooth college entrance examination. Liangyu Lin was too surprised to open the window again. Shen Xingruo's evaluation is: naive.

When their college entrance examination ended, I rolled around happily. Liangyu Lin went to Guangzhou, and Shen Xingre chose Hangzhou. I told Thrushcross how beautiful Hangzhou is. I have never been to Hangzhou. Have you been watching the legend of the new White Snake? We are going to Hangzhou, too. In the future, you will fall in love by the west lake, and it will be glorious to say it!

Thrushcross's mother is also very happy, because her son has been admitted to the key points. She earnestly said to Thrushcross: Learn more from Bao Xiao, and you will be admitted to this school in the future. Xiaoruo can still take care of you.

I smiled cunningly: Auntie, we can definitely get in.

(3)

Then things went as smoothly as I thought. Thrushcross and I continue to be good classmates and sisters in Hangzhou. If Shen Xing were still my senior, I would always feel some burning and murderous eyes when he accompanied us to the cafeteria for dinner.

But I suddenly don't like him. This unrequited love did not come naturally, but ended inexplicably. I can suddenly hold his eyes and laugh loudly with him, and ask him for help directly when I am in trouble. Sometimes he is like my real brother. I ran out to date the boy in my class, and he knocked on my head and said to go back to the dormitory early, not like those girls who climb the wall in the middle of the night. When Thrushcross began to fall in love, he also told me: Look at Thrushcross more. One day, this girl will cry, and then you will go shopping with her for dinner, and then tell her that it's nothing, and she will grow up crying.

I said you really trust me. Can I come to you for comfort on the day I cry?

He said you were precocious. You fell in love with those little boys and didn't play with them. Don't think I don't know. You killed several elementary school brothers of our high school basketball team that year, didn't you? Be careful, don't force them to go to the roof to drink at midnight. It doesn't matter if they are frustrated. If they fall, they will make a big fuss.

I smiled and said you were worrying too much. If a girl wakes up again, she will be very sad in the end. And a hundred heartbroken times can't make you indestructible.

He looked at me thoughtfully and suddenly said, Do you know the language of Lin Liang? Do you think you are like her in some ways?

I said, wow, it's an honor.

He smiled: I put my foot in my mouth. I shouldn't have said you looked like her. I can only say that you look like her.

I said that I had a high understanding, so I knew the minds of girls, so I didn't catch up with Liangyu Lin. Too many competitors feel inferior?

He said, well, don't you have any classes today? I went to play ball.

I looked at his back and wondered where all the deer had gone. How delicate the feelings of youth are. If it is light, you can only feel this power, but you can't control it. Of course, I never told him that we peeked at his diary. Later, we realized that it was a great sin, kept silent and assumed that we were innocent.

(4)

Do I look like Liangyu Lin? Someone said.

Although she is only one year older than me, she has become my predecessor. Some people say that I look like Liangyu Lin, with praise in my tone. I accepted it with a smile and didn't want to correct it.

Both her influence on me and her influence on me. Although I never want to be Liangyu Lin to please him, I will do something more difficult to attract his attention.

When they were in the third year of high school, I was making a school magazine, printed a thick stack and distributed it to all classes. Every time I take the initiative to give them placement, I look at Shen Xingre when I take the door, and then I secretly look at Liangyu Lin. Sometimes she just looks at me and her mouth slightly rises, but this kind of smile is just a habit for her, and she never remembers my appearance seriously.

There will be boys whistling and booing, and some will take advantage of physical education class to come and see me outside my classroom. There are always several girls in each class who get such treatment. When they saw me coming in with a stack of school magazines, they cried, Zhou, the article is well written. The people around you burst into laughter. I put the school magazine on the podium and smiled and said, where is the joke? Then turn around and go out. The people inside laughed louder.

At this time, maybe I am like Liangyu Lin. The difference between us and thrush is that we have understood the subtle feelings between the opposite sex since childhood, and we know what kind of expressions and words should be used to respond, neither frivolous nor clever. Some people will say that we are arrogant, which is not necessarily a bad thing. A girl should always have something to be proud of.

There is a mountain behind our school, which can be reached by climbing over the low fence. There is almost our amusement park, and the mountains are connected with each other. Students who skip classes can run far along the mountain, while we like to read books nearby. In autumn, it is all soft hay. Few people go except for the final exam. I like to go to school early at noon when the sun is fine, and it is not bad to climb mountains, read books and sleep.

After graduating from college, almost every time I go home on holiday, I will go to that mountain specially. I ran into Liangyu Lin once. She sat there chatting with several former classmates, and when I passed by, I heard her sigh with emotion about the days when she was studying here. I think, every time I meet her on campus, someone will whisper, Look, Liangyu Lin. A person smiled. This town is really small.

(5)

I thought I would know Liangyu Lin one day. We have so many acquaintances in such a small place. However, I didn't expect that Liangyu Lin and I would be invited on Shen Xingruo's birthday on the fifth day of the first month. I haven't seen him celebrate his birthday.

After graduating from college, we all stayed in Hangzhou to work, and Liangyu Lin moved to Hangzhou two years ago. Hangzhou is a treasure trove of feng shui. Some people say that the West Lake is gold instead of water. Thrushcross's parents bought them a house to live in in Hangzhou. I sometimes go to eat and drink and live alone in the city. Only a few people think of buying food and cooking when they are having fun. Thrushcross changed her boyfriend after graduation, and her feelings are stable. Like many students, she has plans to get married. I talked about some love, but it ended in nothing. Even Shen Xingre began to sound the alarm for me. He said that flowers will never bloom. I retorted that so did you. Don't let me see your bald day. He said boys can't be the same. At the age of 30, I can still fuck a 20-year-old little MM. What about yours?

I remember that I want to tell Shen Xingruo that I am only one year younger than you, and one day you will think I am old.

Apart from several reunions of a group of old classmates who work in Hangzhou, it seems that he has little contact with Liangyu Lin. Of course, I didn't peek at his diary again. Maybe he didn't keep it long ago. I don't know what kind of Liangyu Lin is in his mind.

Shen Xingruo never invites everyone to dinner on his birthday. In high school, I tried to secretly fold a thousand paper cranes as a birthday present for him. Fortunately, I gave up this naive idea in order to be admitted to the same school as him. After I went to college, I completely forgot his birthday until his invitation.

There were not many people that night, and a table in the hotel box was not full. When I came in, he was waiting inside alone. I said Shen Xing, if your popularity is really bad, no one will give you a gift, right?

Liangyu Lin came with a beautifully wrapped box. I opened my mouth wide for her appearance and this seemingly thoughtful gift. I turned my head and exchanged glances with thrush, thinking there was gossip to study.

Lin Liangyu looked at the thrush politely and said, is this your sister? Thrushcross said yes, I met you in the coffee shop the other day, and later I learned that your cigarette is called national beauty and fragrance.

This time it was Liangyu Lin's turn to be surprised. She smiled and said that smoking is not a crime. Just don't let the elders know, or you'll be killed with a stick.

I began to wander again, thinking that Liu Hai, a silly thrush at that time, said, puppy love, my mother knew that she was killed by a stick.

When we were young, the gap of one year old could be far away, so we became children and always looked up to our seniors and sisters. Now, we can finally talk and look at each other as equals. Lin Liangyu and Shen Xingruo said that this is the week.

(6)

Oh, you are. This is the first sentence that Liangyu Lin said to me, which undoubtedly made me feel a little high. She is wearing a pair of beautiful boots, wrapped in a perfect calf curve. Once she performed a solo dance on behalf of the school, and all the lights were on her. We audience were very excited. She should be a dancer, someone around me said. But Liangyu Lin doesn't want to be a dancer. These are just fragments of her feathers, which make her look more beautiful and brilliant and can't dominate her flying direction.

She was standing right in front of me. I don't want to be too enthusiastic. I just smiled at her and sat down. During the dinner, she spoke loudly and laughed impudently. If Shen Xing pours her water and vegetables, she pretends to be a considerate gentleman. I sent a text message to Thrushcross, saying that your brother's flattering energy would make your mother sad. Thrushcross laughed out loud, while Lin Liangyu turned to Shen Xingre and said, Your polite attitude makes me disabled.

Wow, she can read minds.

Later, I learned that Liangyu Lin had nothing to be proud of knowing Zhou. It turns out that this dinner is not paid by Shen Xingruo, but by Tommy. Tommy is tired of years of wandering and used to seeing the flowers and plants in the city. He thinks that the girls in his hometown are relatively simple and it is best to work hard together in Hangzhou. So he said to Shen Xingre, is Zhou, who is one year younger than us, very close to your sister?

I didn't know Tommy before. For three years in high school, my eyes were fixed on Shen Xingre. Of course, I have also received some love letters. I will read them carefully and will not tear them up to make a fool of myself. I just put them with other letters, and I will never verify whose signatures are.

Tommy's fine. Tall and thin, the kind I like. He speaks humorously, but unfortunately, I can't laugh. Only Liangyu Lin and Thrushcross will join his jokes, and their jokes are as low as each other's.

Tommy said, have you heard the story of marksmanship? Lin Liangyu and thrush opened their eyes wide, but I laughed for the first time.

He said that three men were better marksmen and pulled a girl to stand under the tree. The first man took an apple and put it on the girl's head. Bang, apples are scattered all over the floor. He blew the muzzle calmly and said, I am Zorro. It means he is Zorro. The second man took a grape and put it on the girl's head. Bang, the grapes are thin and broken. He also calmly blew the muzzle and said, I am Bond. That means he's 007. I thought, this third person must not have put some sesame seeds or something. As a result, he moved a watermelon, aiming left and right, and bang-the girl's head was thin and broken. Everyone on the side was so scared that they ran over and shouted, "Murder!" He also calmly blew his gun and said, "I'm sorry.

I laughed so hard that my stomach hurt. I said, "Oh, little Shenyang". Laugh every time you look at it. Although your performance is a bit inferior, your recitation ability is good.

Tommy said, Zhou, I can still make you laugh.

(7)

If Shen Xing invites me for coffee the next day, I might want to know what I think of Tommy. I said this town is just a coffee shop, full of classmates. The sun is really beautiful today. Let's go behind the school.

I am selfish. When I was a child, I fantasized about studying in the back hill with Shen Xingruo. When I looked up, I could see the bright sun and his face, and the hay behind me spread all over the floor. Although that feeling no longer exists, how much I miss those times.

I said Shen Xingruo, you are a good man, and you have a mole on your face as a matchmaker.

He said you don't know how many love letters I blocked for you before. The love letters of those elementary school brothers on the basketball team are so rotten that I am embarrassed to pass them on to you. The famous talented women in our school can't read these letters.

I said you went too far. If you hadn't sent me a love letter, you should have told me earlier. I can look better if I count the admirers.

He said you still have this hobby.

I sat on the stone and laughed loudly. You don't need talent to write love letters, Shen Xingruo, so what kind of love letters have you written? What kind of love letters have you written to Liangyu Lin?

He said, Who told you that I wrote a love letter to Liangyu Lin? It's a cliche.

I continued to laugh: Who among your first-grade boys hasn't written a love letter to Liangyu Lin?

It turns out that Shen Xing really wrote a love letter to Liangyu Lin. A few months before the college entrance examination, he carefully put it into a review question bank similar to "college entrance examination sprint 100 days". He said, Liangyu Lin, we are graduating soon, and we have only been classmates for a few days. He said I like you, and if you do, I hope you can put your ponytail down on your shoulders when you come to school this afternoon.

After lunch, he ran to the classroom early and waited. When Liangyu Lin came, her hair had just been washed and hung over her shoulders. After a class, her hair dried up and tied back into a ponytail.

Shen Xingruo said, I don't understand it. I was a little angry at that time. I wrote down my name generously at the end of the letter, but I never dared to talk to her generously again. He said that Lin Liangyu is really a special girl, and my stubbornness made me choose Hangzhou as my college entrance examination volunteer.

I said, Mr. Shen, this story is quite sensational.

(8)

You see, Lin Liangyu is such a clever girl. I envy her. Not because she received a love letter from Shen Xingruo, but because she gave such a beautiful response. If I had received that letter, I might have put on my hair as a virgin.

I said Shen Xingruo, if you think about it now, you will only feel what a wonderful year it was. Aren't you looking for answers again? Look at your later best friend, who is over one year old. What gift did Liangyu Lin give you yesterday?

He said, please, we are discussing your problem now. Tommy is 24 years old and filial to her boyfriend, which is worth considering.

I curled my lips: Don't underestimate me. I still want romantic love. Isn't this a great ideal? Tommy, he just thinks he's old, so he grabs one after another.

He smiled: Tommy and Liangyu Lin are on their way. Tell him later.

Do I have so much leisure to talk about Liangyu Lin? Your classmates are getting married now. How many boys should ask her for her last farewell before marriage?

He laughed and said that you were too mean, but years ago, he really looked for her. He had set the wedding date for March, and he didn't tell Lin sarcastically that Fan had some feelings as if he had unfinished business.

If Shen Xing thinks he is humorous, I can hear jealousy from his words. When Liangyu Lin and Tommy came, they brought two decks of playing cards and several bottles of beer. Tommy opened the bottle cap with his teeth and said, let's drink to our alma mater.

Playing cards and drinking have been done many times on this hill. In spring, the mountains here are full of azaleas, which are freely open beside the roundabout path. Bamboo grove is the coolest place in summer, so we can sleep with a mat. The hay in autumn is soft and warm, and it often snows in winter, which makes people feel distressed at every step.

Liangyu Lin said that in the future, the four of us will buy this mountain together, and the house will be built on the top of the mountain, so we don't need to lose weight.

(9)

After returning to work in Hangzhou, Liangyu Lin and I became good friends because there were often four people. Thrushcross and her boyfriend continue to be close, and it is easy to see the figure.

I smiled and sarcastically said to Shen Xingre and Lin, how did you hook up again? This isn't too old-fashioned for a class reunion, is it?

If Shen Xing says, please don't use such vulgar words, now I'm trying to catch up, it depends on my performance.

Gee, I'm surprised that Shen Xing can become such a dog's leg.

Liangyu Lin later told me that she actually liked Shen Xingre from the first year of high school because he was "good at math". She laughed: At that time, we would like a boy because of his grades.

At that time, she never felt the need to say she liked it. Girls are very sensitive, of course, she will know Shen Xingre's concern. She never thought about whether to be together or when. She never worries about secret love, because the person she secretly loves is staring at her. When she was in college, she wanted to write to Shen Xingre, but he never sent a letter, so she couldn't find someone to ask for an address. She is too proud to know his address from others. Later, Wang Lefei began to pursue her. She didn't mean to be caught between a pair of good friends. Slowly, she had another chance to fall in love with others.

She said that I sang in bars when I was in college, and I especially liked Rulu at that time. I sang "I am not a casual flower" on the stage. Guitarist is my boyfriend. He is one year older than me. He likes playing the lonely prince. His voice is soft and deep, and the way he plays the guitar is fascinating. We spent all the money we earned on traveling. I thought I had found a wandering singer. Later, he went abroad and was not down and out at all. I think my dream is shattered.

I laughed so hard that the whole cafe was shocked. I said, come on, you're going to be down and out if you haven't heard of the mate selection conditions.

Going around, she said, I didn't expect to be with Shen Xingre again. Probably in the third year of work, I was drunk once and suddenly thought of Shen Xingruo in the taxi. I cried with my little sister in my arms. I said that my youth was gone and I could no longer have such beautiful feelings. That was the only time I lost my cool in front of people.

I was sarcastic, and we will be better again.

She said, Zhou, we will go home during the May Day holiday. Let me show you something.

( 10)

There is no progress between Tommy and me. Shen Xingruo and Lin ironically make up for the past time. He likes to drag us out at three o'clock in the middle of the night and wander around the West Lake like wandering souls. When the four of us were alone, Tommy and I kept a proper distance and didn't want to get any closer.

I am 26 years old. How afraid I am that I will never get a good relationship again. I told Tommy that I wanted to get rid of evil. When I was a child, I didn't know how to make waves. Now I am a beneficial insect. Liangyu Lin and I are different. She has amazing power in everything, so she does everything so beautifully.

She was born as a magnetic field, infecting people around her. When she is happy, I will inexplicably feel that life is beautiful. When she is sad, I will be sad with her. Our little sadness began to be related to homesickness. How strange! I have been living alone since I graduated from high school. I never miss home. My mother misses me every day. I've been used to living alone for a long time, but I'm beginning to miss that small town.

Liangyu Lin said that this is one of the symptoms of getting old. She said, I think our town is like a castle. Just go in when it's raining and windy. It's always bright and warm inside.

I said that's because you are the princess in this castle.

She smiled: Later classmates and friends were always different from those in middle school. We grew up together. We were all in front of them. There was a heavy snow at home before the Spring Festival. I missed it because of my holiday. When I got off at night, the snow melted. That night, Wang Lefei drove me to the mountains to see the snow. In the deep cold night, I sat in his car and was moved by the thick snow on the tea trees all over the mountain.

She said that Wang Lefei didn't like me for a long time, but she didn't, so she was unwilling and just attached to the past. She said Tommy really likes you. He told me that he stuffed a love letter into your drawer as early as high school, but he didn't sign it.

I wanted to ask her about Shen Xingre's letter, but I opened my mouth and didn't say it after all.

( 1 1)

I'm clamoring to go home before the May Day holiday. The man I like texted me at his bachelor party before marriage. He said he would say goodbye to all the women I loved who loved me tonight.

I was greatly insulted when I saw the message, and I realized for the first time that I was just one of many women.

It's too late to see him, and I don't want to make trouble. I didn't stand up. My eyes betrayed me. Once, he leaned over my ear and said, you are the smartest and most special girl I have ever seen.

I think that Shen Xingre also said the same thing about Lin Liangyu, and there are ripples in my heart.

I haven't told anyone about it, just like I had a crush on Shen Xingruo. Sometimes I feel ashamed of my feelings and wait for them to disappear one day.

Our only date is to see a play. I wore a light gold dress, and he sent me a bunch of roses, just like shooting a soap opera in Hong Kong and Taiwan. One is a celebrity, and the other is the second sai-jo. His car is really convertible. When I went to school on the main road, foreigners jumped in without opening the door, and I immediately smiled.

My eyes moistened as soon as the play started. I feel sad when others laugh. This is the relationship of getting old. With the growth of age, it is more and more easy to hurt spring and autumn. It's terrible. Seeing beautiful things is easier to be sad than seeing sad things. They always remind you of those shining days in the past, and of the men who looked at you carefully.

I haven't been on the stage since I graduated from high school. Actually, I need these. I have had some romantic stories, even more touching than drama, but I can't catch them anymore.

I think even if a story doesn't have a happy ending, it doesn't prevent it from becoming a good story. Even if you don't tell others, it won't prevent it from growing in your heart. I can accept that this man is not with me, but I can't accept that he classifies me in a frivolous tone.

I said to myself, Zhou, every relationship you have can be beautiful. You don't want the man who cherishes you, but now you can't guarantee who you can rely on.

I told Lin Liangyu that rape blossoms are in full bloom in March and April, so let's go home some weekend.

If Tommy and Shen Xing decide to drive back with us. Originally a 7-hour drive, we stopped at a place with good scenery and drove for 12 hours. I like this kind of freedom, which is not difficult to get, just depends on whether you do it or not and your mood at that time. I feel very young, because I can enjoy it wholeheartedly.

( 12)

Some boys cherish me, in this town. For example, Wang Lefei took Liangyu Lin to see the snow, and with some sensational narration, it was a youth movie that made people laugh and cry.

After we left here, the warmth began to be scarce. People you meet later will not agree, such as Shen Xingruo and Tommy. If you want to go home, we will accompany you.

Tommy said that the first time I met you was when you were wearing a white skirt. Many friends I met later said that the girl they secretly loved was wearing a white skirt.

Of course, there will be all kinds of unknown plants in the camera, which will make the girl in white dress look childish.

Maybe I am not such a girl anymore, but when I return to this city, time sometimes goes back.

Liangyu Lin took me to the back of the school. She said, I said I want to show you something.

She stood under a tree and smiled, just like a little girl in a white skirt in the scene where the sun shone through the green leaves. She said that if Shen Xing wrote me a letter before the college entrance examination, I would put it in a box and bury it under this tree. 10 years have passed, do you think it is still there?

I suddenly wet my eyes and said, this is really a thrilling story. I said it's a pity that there is a mismatch in the story. I once found a dead cat hanging on this tree on this mountain.

Then we doubled up with laughter. Have you ever held my hand under the tree? Please don't blame me if I break free and run away.

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