People in our country have visited sex education abroad. A comrade of the Beijing Youth League Committee who came back from an inspection tour in Sweden told reporters about sex education in Sweden. They observed a lesson for Swedish pupils. The students in this class are between 9- 12 years old and belong to teenagers who have not yet entered adolescence. The teacher first drew two symbols on the blackboard. One symbol is the cross at the top and the circle at the bottom. Another symbol is a circle below and an arrow above. After the painting, the teacher asked the students: What do these two symbols mean? Students answer: The front represents women, and the back represents men. The teacher said that the answer is correct. There are men and women in the world, and there are boys and girls in our class. Now please answer: as a boy, what advantages do you think a girl should have; Similarly, as a girl, what advantages should a boy have in your eyes? The students began to scramble for answers, and the teacher wrote his or her answers on the blackboard. Girls' answers are written next to male symbols, and boys' answers are written next to female symbols. Girls want boys to be brave, strong, responsible and have a sense of humor. Boys want girls to be gentle, beautiful, smart, clean and so on. After answering this question, the characteristics and differences between men and women are written on the blackboard. The teacher asked another question: If a girl has a boyfriend, will you tell your parents about it and introduce him to your parents? Similarly, if a boy has a girlfriend, will you introduce her to your parents and other friends? After the students made such and such answers, the teacher gave guidance. She said that when you have normal contacts with friends of the opposite sex, you should tell your parents about it instead of keeping it a secret from your parents. ...
The impression given to China tourists is that sex education in Sweden has shifted from sex physiology education to sex psychology education such as gender roles.
China tourists see that in Sweden, there is no concept of "puppy love", and the school does not object to the communication between students of the opposite sex, which is normal. To the surprise of China people, in the sex education class of middle school students, comics have been used to teach the relationship between men and women in a relaxed and humorous way. This is also impossible in the university classroom in our country.
Behind sex education in Sweden, there are a series of measures. In this country, there are counseling centers for teenagers, and young people can take the contraceptives they need at will without being monitored or asked. What they say to young people is this: You have the right to solve your sexual needs, but you shouldn't have children you don't want. This tolerance is also a last resort. When teenagers' sexual consciousness has awakened, you can't suppress it. It is better to be tolerant and set the last line of defense on "trying not to cause consequences". The essence of tolerance is protection. While strengthening positive education and guidance, Sweden has also opened a "green channel" for girls who are pregnant unexpectedly. Pregnant girls can receive physical examination, termination of pregnancy, treatment and psychological guidance in the "channel". The whole process is confidential to the parties. But tolerance does not mean connivance. Obscene publications that are publicly issued and sold are never allowed to be sold to minors. That kind of publication is required to be placed in a higher place where minors are not easy to see and get. If a minor asks to buy pornographic publications, the seller must refuse, otherwise, once found, the seller will be severely punished.
It is understood that Sweden is a country that developed sex education for teenagers earlier. At the beginning, there was a heated debate about whether to have sex education. Opponents believe that teenagers' sexual consciousness is a sleeping lion, and once awakened, the consequences are unimaginable; On the other hand, people who advocate sex education believe that this lion is awake and you can only take corresponding countermeasures. The result of the argument is self-evident. At first, this country only focused on young girls. But they soon found that it is not enough to educate only girls, and there are also problems for boys! So they strengthened the education and guidance for young men: how to respect each other, how not to create trouble for each other in normal communication, and so on. Active sex education and guidance for teenagers, coupled with the implementation of a series of measures, have reduced the phenomenon of teenage pregnancy and sexual crimes. ■ Practice of Beijing No.25 Middle School
Some schools, such as Beijing No.25 Middle School, have taken the lead in developing sex education for teenagers.
Before 1990s, No.25 Middle School was a notorious "chaotic" school. Among the students, there are fights, smoking, hanging out with people outside the school, and boys and girls sneaking around together ... All kinds of unhealthy trends happen from time to time, and the juvenile crime rate ranks first in Dongcheng District. In the early 1990s, the school rectified the school spirit, and at the same time incorporated adolescent sex education into moral education. They carry out sex education in a planned way according to the different characteristics of junior and senior high school students' physical development. There are "boys' classes" and "girls' classes" in the first grade of junior high school, which mainly teach physiological structure and physical health knowledge. In this class, students can understand the law of human development, the development of their own sexual organs and the changes that will take place. On the second day of junior high school, boys' day and girls' day were held. The theme of "Boys' Day" is "Be a successful man" and the theme of "Girls' Day" is "Be a modern new woman". Boys invite fathers, girls invite mothers, experts and scholars, students and their parents to discuss, explain and consult together, and combine sex education with psychological character and social responsibility education, so that boys and girls can understand the expectations of society for different gender roles of men and women and be accepted. Senior high school students' physical development is basically completed, their sexual development tends to be mature, and their sexual impulse is strong. In view of these characteristics, the school has set up a "marriage and love course", inviting experts to explain what is friendship and love and what is marriage and family from a sociological perspective, correctly handling the relationship between boys and girls, and establishing a view of marriage and family that conforms to social moral standards. Through such a series of education, the school spirit of No.25 Middle School has undergone fundamental changes. The crime rate in this school has been zero for nearly ten years.
Marry a jade calendar, and smash a gold tax on the day.
According to the marriage law, the woman's life is set in the profit-making period first, and the man's life is used to match the election period.
The female life is good luck, and the moon is full and the emperor stays, and the season is not suitable.
Five in one, six in one, and then use. Looking at the date and year carefully, Zhou Tang was a husband and a woman.
This day must not be a wedding day. There are many taboos about marrying gods and ghosts. Two virtues and three wonders are being removed.
Suzaku is isolated from the sky, avoiding death and retiring, and there is no day to get tired of the month.
Tired of the period of no aunt and no profit, I hanged myself and was lucky all day, and the wonderful jade emperor died in vain.
The sea can't marry an arrow blade, Suzaku Tiande solves it, Tiangou Baihu and Suzaku,
Only when the nobles ascend to heaven, the real husband is the star and heir of heaven, so don't rush to work every day.
If a man is full of yang and a woman is pregnant in the vagina, she will be hurt if she tries to hold on. When he entered the house, he was forbidden to bury his children.
Clouds are blunt and outspoken, and if they push red, husbands, heirs and stars will die.
All three words are the most appropriate, the father reduces the child and swallows the fetus, and the two virtues are three strange.
Abortion is wrong, so don't avoid it in the process of choice. What can you save by killing your husband and woman?
It's not too late to save your wife after the arrival of God's rescue husband, and it's not too late for your nobles to meet three strange things.
Teachers will get this secret, killing husbands and women is unscrupulous, and killing the moon is really harmful.
The god of food is angry with many children, and the female life likes Lu and the same branch, and the master is noble and prosperous.
Keywords three virtues and three wonders, the ability to solve problems, the secret of jade calendar,
Immortals have taken refuge, and a good choice is the real opportunity.
On the application of choosing a day to get married
There are many theories about the use of marriage and the choice of marriage. In short, we should take Gan Kun as the first choice, and Gui Lu as the memorial arch to kiss men and women. Remedy and search, husband and star grasp the order and cooperate with each other. The method of choosing a date depends on the four pillars, and the husband, the star and the heir are prosperous, which is wonderful. The husband, the master and the rib are all Zhu Ji! Don't take the trinity, the five-in-one and the six-in-one Tian Tian Yi Tian De Yue De Tian En Tian Xie Ji and other lucky stars. Avoid four corners, four corners, husband's value and wife's value, that is, the first day, the seventh day, the fifteenth day, the seventeenth day, the twenty-third day and the twenty-fifth day of each month, as well as the ugly sea, the poor moon and the tired moon. But in ancient times, Lu's lessons about marriage were refuted according to the number of yin and yang, and it was wonderful to make the best use of everything!
The theory of choosing a day: Suzaku enters the palace
Suzaku enters the palace, you can't move, and it's not appropriate for Quekun to get married. It's better to build a bed and repair a well in the palace.
Don't doubt the right or wrong of the disease. If you quit logging in to Antang and repair the door, you should avoid leaving Kun.
It is unfavorable to repair the kitchen by shaking the ditch, and the method is to arrange the mountains and palms.
Put Jiazi into the palace, and if Ugly B avoids logging in Xun Palace, the rest will be pushed together!
Marry a new person who chooses a date and sit on the lucky side.
Jia Girl: She lived in a coffin for a long time. She is a descendant of root B and entered the grange.
Yi Munv: If you are a descendant of Party C, Party A will live a long life and everyone will be old.
Fire girl C: Sitting on the descendants of Roots, you will live a long life, and Party C will be old.
Ding Huonv: Take Party B to live a long life, be a descendant of Party A, and benefit from it.
Native girl: She has lived in a coffin for a long time. If she is a descendant of Party C, she will enter the arena. ..
A woman born and raised in China: with descendants, C is rich and expensive, and Ding Yiweng is embarrassed.
Geng: Fang Kun's descendants, Geng people live a long life, and they are old and yellow.
New Golden Girl: Sit in Geng Xin and live a long life. Gui Kun's descendants are all old.
Ren Shuinv: Descendants of Zuo, Kun and Gui Yiwenggui.
Guishui female: If you are a descendant of Party A, you will live a long life, and Party B will be old.
The invitation day, one of the "Six Gifts", used to mean that the man's family chose the wedding date and prepared gifts to tell the woman's family for approval. Nowadays, the wedding date is mostly agreed by the families of men and women. There are many taboos among customs in the choice of wedding date. ;
As the saying goes, "a pawn cannot be redeemed, and a woman cannot be married." The wedding date is generally proposed by the man first, and rarely requested by the woman. The date of marriage is the most important thing in marriage, so you must choose good or ill luck. According to the Records of Chinese Folk Customs, in the old days, in Nanjing, "if a man wants to get married, he must first send a man and a woman to the Star Family as a memorial to protect them from aggression and punishment, and record in all Khmer Rouge languages when the couple took a bath, where the water poured, when the couple got into the sedan chair, when they got married and who they avoided, which is called sending them to the sun." Bai people also have this custom. According to the investigation of Bai social history, Bai people "choose their luck when they get married". When holding a wedding, it depends on whether it is a white tiger pressing the house or a white tiger pressing the bed "; If the white tiger presses the house and presses the bed, you can't get married, you can only choose another auspicious day. " ; g[x[
Let the astrologer calculate the auspicious day of the zodiac and draw up the wedding date, that is, to believe in the astrologer's calculation and believe that the auspicious day calculated by the astrologer is the real auspicious day. This is the support and maintenance of folk beliefs for superstitious activities. The theory that astrologers talk about in order to distinguish themselves from ordinary people is no longer a popular belief, but a "talk" that caters to popular beliefs and transcends them. It is bound to make people unable to master themselves and maintain the possibility of self-existence. Therefore, we only talk about the views and taboos about the good or ill luck of the wedding date in folk letters.
In which year is the wedding gift arranged, the common people are particular about it. Generally held in normal years without special circumstances. Many areas of the Han nationality avoid getting married in spring.
A year without spring, that is, a year without beginning of spring Day, is called "widowed year" in some places. The word "widowed" in "widowed" is a taboo in the wedding period, which makes people think of words such as "widowed", "widowed" and "widowed lonely", which is obviously unlucky.
Some places still believe that "widowed people will get married and have no children", and some have no descendants. This meaning may come from the lack of the word "spring". The word spring means that men and women love each other. Words related to the word "Spring", such as Chun Qing, Chunyi, Chunxin and Huaichun, also have this meaning. Because ancient marriages were held in spring. "White Tiger Yi Tong Marries a Girl" says: "What is the spring of marriage? In spring, heaven and earth communicate, everything begins, and yin and yang also cross. " If there was no beginning of spring in that year, the people would think that there was no spring, so the handover between men and women was not allowed, otherwise the handover would result in "no children and no daughters", so it is forbidden to arrange the marriage within this year, but one year earlier or one year later.
If there are two beginning of spring Days in a year, the situation will be different in different places.
Some areas think that this year's marriage is good, which means "double spring and double happiness", so there has been a wedding climax. Other regions think that it is not good to get married this year, which means "double happiness". Too many things are lewd, pornographic or indecent, which are not desirable. Moreover, ordinary people always prefer stability to adventure. In an extraordinary year like two spring days, it is best to make peace. So some people deliberately avoid getting married this year.
Similar to the meaning of two "spring" in a year, there is also a custom that a family is forbidden to hold two marriages in the same year in the Han nationality area in south-central China. Roommates can't go in and out in Xiangtan for one year. A family or even several families sharing a room cannot marry a daughter and a daughter-in-law this year, otherwise it is considered unlucky. This is also out of the scruples of "smiling".
According to the Survey of Social History of Bai Nationality, the earthly branches of Bai nationality in the year of marriage are the same as those of boys and girls in the year of birth. If they are the same, they can't get married. If this is the zodiac, that's where it belongs. I can't get married in any year, probably because I am afraid of hurting their "core monuments of life." Furthermore, according to the order of territorial branches, twelve years is a round. It is impossible to get married at the age of twelve, so men and women are forbidden to get married at the age of twenty-four, thirty-six, forty-eight, and so on.
In terms of avoiding the wedding year, in addition to the taboo of "happiness rushing to happiness", there is also the taboo of "fierce rushing to happiness". According to the social and historical survey of Dehong Dai people, Dehong Dai people are forbidden to hold happy events within one year after the death of their immediate relatives and elders. It is considered that holding a wedding during this period is extremely disrespectful to the deceased. More importantly, it is considered unlucky to get married during filial piety. In the future, there will be fewer children, it will be difficult to grow up, and family luck will not be smooth. This custom is also found in the Han nationality and some other ethnic minorities.
However, in some areas, some people still intend to get married in mourning. According to the Records of Yiyang County in the Republic of China, "A common custom has a fierce wife, which is called filial piety and indecent assault. But there are two reasons: first, the family is poor and frugal, and the quality is the same; One, because Uncle menstruation died and was short of people, he lost his life and changed his fortune. " This custom at the cost of marriage is said to have existed in the Song Dynasty. Although it is not ethical, there are reasons. More importantly, I'm afraid it's out of the psychology of liking and hating for luck. It can also be seen that, in the final analysis, it is the embodiment of the people's intention to seek good fortune and avoid evil.
After the year is decided, there is still a month taboo. It is advisable to get married in some months and forbidden to get married in other months. According to the "History of China System": "In ancient times, September to the first month was the wedding date; Mid-spring, especially not faint. " According to legend, men and women in the Zhou Dynasty got married in mid-spring moon. Shi Mei, the official of Emperor Li Zhou, said, "The mid-spring moon will bring men and women together. So sometimes, runners can't help it. " There are folk beliefs and customs in later generations that link the appropriate month of marriage with the genus. In Dingxiang county, Shanxi province, people think that chickens and rabbits are suitable for marriage in the first month and July; Snakes and pigs are suitable for marriage in March and September; Horses and mice are suitable for marriage in June and December; Cattle and sheep are suitable for marriage in May and November. Dogs and dragons are suitable for marriage in April and October; Tiger monkeys are suitable for marriage in February and August. In the old society, the Han nationality and some other ethnic minorities thought that the twelfth lunar month (some people said it was after the 23rd of the twelfth lunar month) and even the New Year was the time for immortals to go to heaven. In a word, this is the most suitable time to get married, and every day is an auspicious day. In fact, from the perspective of social production, the twelfth lunar month to the New Year is the slack season, which is very natural and reasonable for China society, which is dominated by agricultural economy. On the contrary, in May, July and September during the busy farming season, the Han, Wa and other ethnic minorities are forbidden to get married, saying it is a "bad month". There are many ghosts in this period, which is not suitable for marriage. If you get married, it's unlucky. In fact, in May, July and September, the weather is hot, food is perishable, people are tired, and livestock are prone to illness. It is also reasonable to try to avoid holding a wedding during this period. Similarly, Dai people are forbidden to get married for three months after September 15 of the Dai calendar. These three months are called "into depression" period. During the three months from entering the depression to leaving the depression, the old man will worship the Buddha once every seven days. This period is in the rainy season, so the production is busy and the preparation is not easy. During this marriage, the masses will say that new people are like cattle and horses, like dogs, and they don't know the season and will become dogs after death. Now, although this taboo has changed a little, some young men and women get married because of their deep love, or because they are pregnant before marriage, but after marriage, they still have to sacrifice wine and meat to the village and invite the whole village to have a meal. Otherwise, people will think that they have violated the village ghost, and when diseases and other disasters occur in the village in the future, the married people will be responsible. There is a folk custom in Taiwan Province Province, and it is forbidden to get married from April to September. As the local proverb says, "April is the day of death, May is the wrong day, June is the month of marrying a certain (wife), July is the month of marrying a ghost, and August is the month of marrying a landlady; The dog's head is heavy in September, and it dies when it dies. "The reason why we say' April is forbidden' is because' April' and' death' are homophonic, so we can't put an auspicious day in April, so as not to cause ominous associations and become ominous." Bad luck in May is due to the homonym of "May" and "Wrong". May is a bad month, so this month's marriage may have "bad luck". There is also a saying among local people called "Marry a certain ruling poison in May", which is also based on the Dragon Boat Festival on May 5th, commonly known as "ruling poison festival". "Married for half a year in June" is because June is equal to half a year, and people are afraid of the omen of "half a year's husband and wife", fearing premature widowhood or divorce, which will cause misfortune to one or both parties. "Marry a ghost in July" is because July is commonly called "Ghost Moon". This month, some ghosts from the underworld will flock to the dead to beg for food. In the age of believing in ghosts and gods, people are afraid of offending ghosts, so they dare not get married within this month. "Marry the landlady in August" is because the local August 15 is the day of offering sacrifices to the landlady. If you get married in August, you are afraid to marry a landlady. It is said that the landlord is henpecked and afraid of his wife. So, if you get married in August, I'm afraid you will be afraid of your wife in the future. In September, the dog's head is heavy, even if he dies, his husband will die. "Nine" is homophonic with "dog" and is often used as a curse. There are also non-proper relationship men and women who are called "dog men and women", so the local people taboo the word "nine". September is the solar term in the first frost, and "frost" is homophonic with "mourning", so they are worried that they will get married this month, and they will either be dead wives or husbands in the future. On the surface, the taboo reasons mentioned above for Taiwan Province Province to avoid getting married from April to September are considered from the perspective of good or bad luck, but in fact they are based on the relationship between busy farming and climate change. Taiwan Province Province 10 to March is the low season, and April to September is the peak season. Moreover, the weather is hot from April to September, and typhoons and rainstorms are changeable, which often disrupts people's normal living arrangements. If a storm happens on the scheduled wedding day, or the weather is particularly hot, it will affect the normal wedding, affect people's festive mood and bring people trouble. Of course, for such an auspicious wedding, this is an ominous sign, so April to September will become the "taboo month" for marriage. !
The anniversary of sb's death
After the wedding month is selected, there are still days to avoid. Han people and many ethnic minorities have the custom of avoiding one-day marriage and marriage. As the saying goes, "men". Marriage is a happy event for both men and women. If it is a single day, it means bad luck, so choose two days. In some areas of the Han nationality, getting married on July 7th is especially taboo. According to the records of Pucheng County, Shaanxi Province, "On July 7th, women were welcomed to avoid festivals." This custom is related to the legend of the Weaver Cowherd. According to legend, the Weaver Girl is the granddaughter of the Emperor of Heaven, who went down to earth to marry the Cowherd privately and was forced to return to heaven. Weaver and Cowherd can only meet once a year on July 7th. People avoid getting married on July 7, which also reflects people's good wish that their children will never be separated and be happy after marriage. In some rural areas, it is also forbidden to get married on the fifth, fourteenth and 23rd day of the fifth lunar month. In many places, there are some special reasons to avoid getting married one day, all in order to avoid evil and seek happiness. It is forbidden to use the date of birth of both men and women at Bai weddings. If men or women are horses or mice, they can't get married on the day of horses or mice. Li people choose the wedding day to avoid tigers, monkeys and cows. According to the "Qing Codex", "Li people have no constitutional documents and do not know Jia Zi. However, when they get married, they will also choose an auspicious day. Its method: According to the zodiac, calculate by hand, and the selected day coincides with the selected home. Or clouds, tigers, monkeys, cows, Li people think evil beasts, so it is good to avoid them. " Hani people are forbidden to get married on the day of solar or lunar eclipse. People think that if you get married on the day of the eclipse, you will have six fingers, twins or a missing mouth, so it is regarded as a taboo.
Most of the taboo customs listed above, such as avoiding the year, month and day, have been abolished, except for a few areas that still have reservations. Now that we are married, the countryside is still busy with farming and has more leisure; In cities, most of them are held on national holidays such as May 1 day, 1 month1day, and around the Spring Festival, and the time is mostly calculated by the Gregorian calendar, so the old taboo on the choice of wedding date has lost its effectiveness of binding people. Although some old people can still remember some taboo customs about choosing a date, they often give up their opinions because young men and women don't care.