Soon after chatting, acquaintances saw that the clothes were wet and there was water oozing out, so they subconsciously touched them, which was very cold. Ask why.
The miser replied, "I haven't been feeling well recently and I broke out in a cold sweat."
Many years ago, a remote mountain village just had electricity, and every household used light bulbs. An old lady somehow turned off the light and blew it like a kerosene lamp for a long time, but it still didn't go out.
She said to herself, "This new thing is really good, windproof."
A jeweler panicked and rushed into the police station to report the case. He said to Pol.ice, "Just now, a container truck came to my shop, the door opened, and an elephant ran and ran out of it. The beast broke the window glass, stuck out its long nose, rolled away all the pearls, pearls and jewels, then got into the container, and the car drove away, drove away, and drove away!
The rigorous policeman asked, "Did you get a good look at the gangster? Is that an African elephant or an Asian elephant? "
"What's the difference between them?"
Pol.ice explained: "Asian elephants have smaller ears, while African elephants have larger ears."
The jeweler shouted, "My God, haven't you ever robbed before?" It has socks on its head! "
4. Do you like sleeping beauty?
Yes, but I've never slept.
5. An old farmer went to the county to buy a mobile phone. When he entered the store, he asked, "How much is a catty of mobile phones?"
The shopkeeper secretly pleased, and such a fool? Too much trouble to quote one by one? The mob waved and said, "5000 kilograms, take whatever you want!"
The old farmer chooses a high-grade ultra-thin machine and weighs it, 220, 1000 yuan.
The shopkeeper regretted it and pushed his machine, but the old farmer dismissed it: "Want to cheat me as a junk dealer?" Those are obviously refurbished machines, and the configuration is not good. Even angry birds can't play! "
6. The boss of the company is really awesome and has a little secret; The department manager is very amorous, taking two … milks to China; The director of the department is not stupid, with his lover's recharge card; Generally, employees have empty pockets and communicate locally with their wives.
7. You are not a hero until you reach the Great Wall. When you arrive at the Great Wall, heroes will not suffer immediate losses. Don't hit the south wall, don't go back, hit the south wall, but the wall is pushed by everyone; Never die until you reach the Yellow River. When you get to the Yellow River, you can't wash it if you jump in! Trouble will not stop, the most important thing is happiness.
8. Wear cloth, be a vegetarian, and find a wife to do housework at home.
9. Ten years of hard work, only for Tsinghua of Peking University, but finally admitted to Beida Jade Bird.
10, fishing for three days, surfing the internet the rest of the time.
1 1, talent+material+wealth = new ideal man.
12, people cry tragedy when they are unlucky. When you are unlucky, call the cabinet, which is full of tragedy and tableware! !
13, rich people have no talent, and talented people have no money. After years of hard work, I found the unity of the two; I have neither money nor talent.
14. The tortoise is hurt. Find a good friend snail to buy medicine. Two hours have passed and the snail hasn't come back yet. The tortoise scolded anxiously, "If this boy doesn't come back, I'll die!" " "At this moment, a snail's voice came from outside the door:" You said I wouldn't go! "
15 A prisoner escaped, and the police officer asked, "How did he steal the key?" The soldier replied, "He didn't steal it. He won it at cards. "