As the saying goes:? Rather than listen, say it. ? In other words, only by listening can you really speak; Only by listening can we better understand each other and promote effective communication and exchange.
Once, an emissary from a small country came to China to pay tribute to three identical gold people. The emperor was very happy. However, while the emissary of this small country paid tribute, a question emerged: Who is the most valuable of these three gold people?
The emperor thought of many ways to ask the jeweler to check, weigh and watch the work, all of which were exactly the same. What shall we do? The messenger is still waiting for a return. Great country, even this little thing can't be solved?
Finally, an old minister who was about to retire said that he had an idea.
The emperor invited the emissary to the main hall, and the old minister confidently took three straws and inserted them into the ear of the first gold man. The straw came out of the other ear. The straw of the second gold man fell out directly from his mouth, and the straw of the third gold man fell into his stomach without any noise. The old minister said: the third gold man is the most valuable! The messenger was silent and the answer was correct.
Although all three gold men have their own values, the third gold man is the most valuable because he is good at listening to other people's opinions.
This story tells us that the most talkative person is not necessarily the most valuable person. God gave us two ears and one mouth, which was supposed to make us listen more and talk less.
Listening is a very important skill in interpersonal communication in the workplace. If you are a good listener, you will find that others will naturally be attracted to you.
Wayne is one of the most popular people Robin has ever met. He is always invited. He is often invited to parties, luncheons and speakers of Kiwanis International and Rotary International, and plays golf or tennis.
One night, Robin happened to go to a friend's house for a small social activity. He found Wayne sitting in the corner with a beautiful girl. Out of curiosity, Robin paid attention for a while from a distance. Robin found the young lady talking all the time, but Wayne didn't seem to say anything. He just smiles and nods occasionally, that's all. A few hours later, they got up, thanked the host and hostess, and then left.
The next day, when Robin saw Wayne, he could not help but ask:
? I saw you at swanson's house with the most charming girl last night. She seems completely attracted to you. How did you get her attention? ?
? It's simple. ? Wayne said,? Mrs swanson introduced Joanne to me, and I only said to her, Your skin is really beautiful, even in winter. How did you do that? Where are you going? Acapulco or Hawaii?
Hawaii. ? She said,? Hawaii is always picturesque. ?
? Can you tell me everything? ? I said.
? Of course. ? She answered. We found a quiet corner and she talked about Hawaii for the next two hours.
Joanne called me this morning and said that she likes my company very much. She said that she wanted to see me again because I was the most interesting conversation partner. But to be honest, I didn't say a few words all night. ?
Did you see Wayne's popular secret? It's simple. Wayne just asked Joan to talk about herself. He does this to everyone ― what about others? Please tell me all this. ? This is enough to excite the average person for several hours. People like Wayne because he cares about them.
It can be seen that the greatest value of paying attention to other people's conversations and showing them your friendliness and interest is to win people's hearts, make them feel connected, share weal and woe, and increase trust.
In the process of conversation, if you listen to the other person patiently, it is equivalent to telling the other person: What you say is valuable? Or? Do you deserve to make friends? It means you are interested in each other. At the same time, it also makes the other party feel that their self-esteem has been satisfied. As a result, the speaker's feelings for the listener went further. He can understand me. ,? He really became my bosom friend? . In this way, the spiritual distance between them is shortened, and they will get along well as long as the time is ripe.
Therefore, being good at listening is one of the indispensable qualities of people, and it is also a necessary prerequisite for interpersonal communication. Learning to listen can correctly and completely hear the information you want, and it will also give people the impression of serious and practical respect. Consider the problem from the other side's standpoint.
Interpersonal communication in the workplace is a science. In the process of communication, proper use of empathy can make communication smoother and easier to achieve the purpose of communication.
Empathy is very important in interpersonal communication in the workplace, because we can't think and respond correctly without understanding each other's positions, feelings and ideas. What exactly is empathy? Actually, is it? Do you understand? Other people's thoughts and feelings, stand in each other's position to see the problem.
There is such a little story:
A pig, a sheep and a cow are kept in the same corral. One morning, the shepherd came in to catch the pig, and the pig howled loudly and resisted fiercely. Sheep and cows hate pigs' howling, so they blame pigs together. What are you arguing about? He often arrests us, and we don't yell. ? The pig replied:? His arrest of you and my arrest are completely different. He only wants your hair and milk to catch you, but he wants my life to catch me! ?
This is a fable that vividly illustrates a simple truth: it is not easy to understand others. Of course, fables are fables. What it needs is simple, thorough and strong contrast. In reality, judgment is much more complicated.
In real life, everyone plays a certain role in society. In the process of communication, people all appear in a specific role. I have long been used to seeing other people's behavior from my own point of view, and my understanding is one-sided to varying degrees. For example, in many shopping malls, customers think that salespeople are not doing their duty, but salespeople think that customers are always looking for trouble; Leaders feel that subordinates do not obey management; As a subordinate, I feel that my superiors don't understand the actual situation. Because of different roles, there will always be conflicts between people, and they can't understand each other, resulting in communication barriers.
If you want to overcome this communication barrier, you should put yourself in the other person's shoes. How would you feel if you were in the other person's position? Only in this way can we reasonably understand each other's behavior and attitude.