Source | Live as much as possible (WeChat official account: wanqingdepingtai)

A few months ago, my mother told me on the phone that Aunt Susu, a neighbor of my hometown, seemed to have something to ask me, but she was embarrassed to ask.

When I was a child, I was vulnerable to others' malice because of my poor family, while Aunt Susu was kind and gentle and didn't like to gossip. Growing up, she gave me a lot of care.

So, when I went back to my mother's house, I took my little nephew to her house and asked her if she wanted to see me.

While doing the work at hand, she smiled shyly: "well, I just don't know if it will bother you." If it bothers you, forget it. "

I said nothing, you tell me first, if I can do it.

I said after listening, it's not difficult. I'll make it for you in a few days. She asked me repeatedly, is it really not too much trouble

I said no, don't worry, I am a person who can do what I can.

She smiled happily: "That's good. I struggled for a while. I don't know if I want to find you. I told you the last time I saw your mother. Just don't bother. It doesn't matter if you can't do it. Aunt still appreciates you. "

I gave her a reassuring smile, and after two days, I helped her do it. Aunt Susu thanked me very much.

I'm a little heartbroken Now that I'm over 30, where do I need these foods? But I knew it was a gift from her and a way to express my gratitude, so I made my little nephew hold back.

It wasn't long before I forgot about it. The other day, my mother told me that another neighbor wanted to see me. I didn't ask anything. After hearing the name, I refused directly.

My mother continued: She listened to your aunt Susu. Last time you helped Susie, she was very grateful and mentioned it from time to time, so other neighbors also knew!

I regret in my heart: I forgot to remind Aunt Susu that I know she means well, but only she knows it.

I said, what if I knew? I don't want to help anyway!

My mom says it's not good. Are all former neighbors. It is unreasonable for you to help one without helping the other. Then she won't know that she is angry from embarrassment! Either you didn't help, one helped and one didn't help!

I said: there is nothing wrong with me. If it doesn't make sense, I will help if I like it, and refuse to help if I don't like it. As for whether the other party will become angry from embarrassment, that is not what I should consider.

My mother also tried to convince me that if I refused, I don't know how the other party would slander me behind my back.

I said impatiently, I never care what they say. Anyway, I don't want to help.

If my mother hadn't mentioned this neighbor, I would be busy with so many things every day now, and I might not remember it. But now that she mentioned it, I can't help but think of some small memories.

I remember the summer vacation of grade five and six in primary school. I moved a recliner to look at Duke Lushan borrowed from the bookstore under the eaves. My neighbor Shi Shiran came to my house and looked around. She saw my mother washing clothes on the other side and said to her:

"Just let your daughter do the laundry. Isn't she on summer vacation?"

My mother said, "I have to let her wash it." Since the holiday, I have been reading every day, but I still can't move when I eat. Do you expect her to wash clothes? "

My neighbor gave me a look and said, "So you let her? If I want it, I will. If I don't listen, I will fight. If I fight, I will listen. "

The mother, who never knew how to protect her children, said and did: she was protected by her grandparents, and when things were wrong, she ran to seek asylum. How could you possibly have a chance to beat her?

She said confidently: Her grandparents can't watch it 24 hours a day. Are you afraid that you won't have a chance to learn your lesson?

My mother is finally a little uncomfortable: then she hasn't done anything, can she not hit her blindly?

I thought she was bored, so I moved the recliner to the other side and told her by action that I really didn't care about you.

The second thing is that after I was admitted to the university, I was the first girl in our community to be admitted to a good university (after me, every year).

In those days, my family came and went, mostly asking how many points I got in the exam and which school I was going to. I look on coldly to see who is sincere and jealous, and think about human nature when I am bored.

That day, she and Aunt Susu came together. Aunt susu said as soon as she came in, love is really disappointing. After studying in Shanghai, she became a big city person.

My neighbor curled her lips and said to my mother, Your daughter never remembers you when she arrived in Shanghai. If you ask me, girls don't have to read too many books. If they read too much, they will be wild. Let her get married early and call later.

I sneer and ignore her, sometimes curious about her emotional intelligence and malice. Some people want to sow discord, and they often pick it when the parties are not there, and she likes to sow discord in front of both sides. The only thing I can think of is: maybe I don't exist for other provocations!

My mother said, if she is admitted, I can't help but let her study, can I?

She is very dissatisfied with my mother's attitude: then you don't have this daughter! Besides, how old will she be when she graduates? Get another master's degree and I'll be an old maid.

Aunt mr.zhou couldn't help saying: Now girls are getting married later and later, which is not what we used to be, especially in big cities.

Another time I was impressed that I just found a good job after graduating from college. I saw her when I came home. She was very excited to see me, and she looked like a gossip: Do you have a boyfriend? When will you bring it back to have a look?

Because I had a bad impression of her, I didn't answer and ignored her. She felt greatly insulted and said to my mother, what is your daughter's attitude? Don't even talk to her? No husband will like her personality, so be careful not to get married in the future.

I suddenly turned around and smiled happily: I was worried that my in-laws would not want me, but as long as I saw you, I was full of confidence. You are wanted. What am I worried about?

My mother naturally knows these things, but she still wants me to promise that it is not difficult for you to say them.

Yes! What she wants to help is really not difficult for me, but I don't like it in my heart! I don't want to compromise my heart for irrelevant people.

After thirty, it seems that I don't want to please anyone anymore, and I don't want to fight for a good reputation.

Just like the watch buying incident in yesterday's article, several readers suggested: Since the other party doesn't know what price you want to buy a watch, you can ask her, is the brand around 1000 ok? If the other party says they don't like it, can you ask her for another 2 ~ 5,000? If it still doesn't work, do it. ...

Some readers said: I understand people who buy watches very well. Sometimes I just don't want to see it myself, and I don't know how to find a style. They just let you see them and almost buy one.

Indeed, if I am willing to do as they do, maybe I will get a "warm", "considerate" and "educated" evaluation.

However, I don't want to endure extreme impatience in my heart, but also have patience and try to communicate with people who can't communicate. The meaning of those praises is not as good as my precious time and pleasure.

After the age of 30, my heart is getting stronger and stronger, and other people's comments can easily control my emotions;

After the age of 30, my heart gradually became clear, knowing what is the most important and what is the second. I won't give others a good evaluation, but I will try my best to cater to it.

After the age of 30, things gradually become clear, knowing what is worth doing and what is not worth doing, and not being exhausted by details.

After the age of 30, I have learned to choose and stop pursuing the situation that everyone likes me. I just want to have a clear conscience.

After thirty, I think women should live like this:

-End-

Late love, a million-selling author, the founder of Yunyixuan Jewelry, is committed to women's self-growth. The new book "The more self-discipline, the more freedom" is a best seller, and the masterpiece "Be a just right woman", Weibo: the nest of belated love, public platform: live as much as possible, ID: wanqingdepingtai.