1. Funny fight classic joke "Master Wang, I heard that you fight with your sister-in-law, and you are always beaten?" "Well, to tell you the truth, my wife has no free medical care, and she is badly hurt. Unlike me, seeing a doctor costs money. If she breaks it, she will be reimbursed by the government. " Two buddies drank too much and went to KFC for dinner. The beautiful shop assistant asked, what do you want? The elder brothers said: stew a fish! As soon as the beauty saw that she was drunk, she asked her brother behind her what she wanted. My buddy came over and said, one fish is enough for both of us!
2. Every day when I laugh on the Internet, my uncle walks into the bank and rushes to the counter, causing dissatisfaction among other customers for some time. The tour guide quickly stopped him and said, "Grandpa, press the number." Grandpa paused, then gave a thumbs-up sign: "What a big bank, it's really professional!" " Then close to each other's ear and say, "The heavenly king covers the ground." The security guard had no choice but to help the old man press a queue ticket. The old man thought, You scared me to death, but I was right.
3. Classic bride anecdote, the prospective bride chose a diamond ring. The bride asked the middle-aged salesman, "Is there anything that needs special attention to protect this ring?" The salesman smiled kindly and said, "The best way to protect it is to soak it in dishwashing water three times a day."
As soon as I got home, my daughter-in-law brought me slippers, took my briefcase and told me to sit on the sofa and have a rest. Tea is ready on the coffee table. You can eat it at once. I was so scared that my legs were weak that I knelt on the ground at that time: Daughter-in-law, did I do something wrong? You can hit me and scold me. I am timid. Don't frighten me to look up at my daughter-in-law, she keeps winking at me.
Miss Wang has a unique memory method. Every time he meets something new, he thinks of something he is familiar with. On one occasion, Mr. Wang temporarily went to a class to replace him. When asking questions, a student named "Malinshu" thought of "potato". Two months later, Miss Wang came to this class as a substitute teacher. When he wanted to ask the student again, he couldn't remember his name. After a long pause, he said, "Potato classmate, you answer ..."
6. Xiao Li, the chef of the canteen, handed me a report on applying for a raise: "Director, I will get married next month, but this salary is not enough. . . "I said," I understand. I'll do it. " . . "On the night when Xiao Li's salary increase report was approved by layers, I went to Xiao Li's house to report good news. Xiao Li listened and said quietly to the boys around him, "Thank you, uncle." I said, "That was quick. In an instant, the child can talk. " Xiao Li grinned: "It's three years old. . . "
7. Have you heard such a story? There is a rich man here who wants to get married. He sent a personals. As a result, three women came and he had a choice. He each took 1000 yuan and asked three women to fill the room. The first woman bought cotton at 1000 yuan, the second woman bought balloons at 1000 yuan, and the third woman only bought candles. He used up all his money to fill the room. Finally, the rich man chose the one with the biggest breasts.
After school, a group of children are waiting for their parents to pick them up at the school gate. Xiao Pang: "My father's Land Rover will arrive soon. You can take my car home. " Xiaojun: "My BMW is the best. You can go home in my car soon. " Hearing this, Xiao Pang was unconvinced: "As soon as my road tiger got on the road, no one dared to overtake me, and he would definitely pick me up first. Wait and see! " Soon, Xiao Ming saw his mother riding an electric car and smiled and said to two classmates, "The first one is my car. It seems that' BMW' and' Land Rover' are not as powerful as' Electric Donkey'! " A?vagho?a: "There was a traffic jam. You have to wait a little longer. Don't worry! " "