By xiaohoulky

A long time ago, when there was no one in the world. At that time, only animals killed each other every day, and the big ones ate the small ones. There is only one way to survive, and that is to ascend to heaven. ...

The first fairy in the animal kingdom probably knew the rabbit (the jade rabbit of Chang 'e) ... in fact, it wasn't. At that time, there were two monkeys from Longdong Mountain, one named L monkey and the other named Y monkey. The story goes like this. ...

They all ascended to heaven at the same time. Why do people only know rabbits, but not those two symmetrical monkeys? Listen to me slowly. They have been good friends since childhood. They saw that the killing between animals was too cruel, and they didn't want their friends to be killed in the future, so they went to the unknown fairy cave to practice together. (The Unknown Fairy Cave is halfway up the Unknown Mountain. The Unknown Fairy Cave has always been a place where animals cultivate into immortals, so why don't animals cultivate? Don't they like being immortals? Would you like to be eaten? Don't! In fact, it takes hundreds of years to cultivate immortals, but the life span of animals is limited. If you can't cultivate immortality, you will end up depressed! Then why did they dare to go? In fact, just looking for a young drifting pill can prolong life. It is said that this pill is hidden in an unknown fairy cave, but no one has ever seen it ...)

After a few days of travel, the three finally came to the nameless fairy cave. It's already dark, so I live in a cave. The next day, after washing, three people groped in the cave to see where the young drifting pills were hidden. After a few hours, Monkey Y called and said, "Come and see ~ ~!" The monkey and the white rabbit ran over and asked if they had found any clues.

Y monkey: "Yes! Look, there are footprints here ~

L monkey: hmm ~ ~

The white rabbit Y monkey heard the monkey L hum and asked in unison: Do you know the clue? !

L Monkey: No ~ ~ I know ~ ~ Tao = =! !

White rabbit y monkey: (sweating ~ ~) I don't know. Well, what a fart ~ ~ What a waste of expression ~

L monkey: = =! I just want to express that I know there are footprints here ~ no other meaning, you think too much ~ ~ (shake ~ alas)

Rabbit: Talk back! ~ I ~ hit ~ ~ hit ~ ~! ! ! I saw a monkey spewing out from the mountainside, and a star flashed in the sky. )

Y monkey: .............................................................................................................................................................................

Rabbit: hmm ~ ~ Let's eat something first and discuss it later.

Y monkey: what about l ~ I don't know what happened to it ~

White Rabbit: Don't worry, you won't die ~ Last time you used more force than this time, you are still alive ~

Y monkey: (pour ~ # #! ! )

So the white rabbit and the Y monkey went out to look for food ~ ~ After several hours, the L monkey finally returned to the nameless fairy cave ~ ~ humming a tune (why do I always get hurt ~) and looking at the cave ~ ~ Why did they disappear? Was it eaten by ~~ wild animals ~ ~

Monkey L: I cried with my head in my arms ~ 555555 ~ (At this moment, Rabbit and Monkey Y just came back and peeped outside the cave)

Xiao Bai ~ Xiao Y, why did you leave me alone ~ ~ ~ Do you know? ~ I can't live without you ~ ~ (Little Rabbit Y: moved ~ ~) What's the point of living without you ~ ~ (Tears) You still owe me four bananas and five peaches, and I didn't eat at noon ~ ~ How can I live without washing my clothes ~ ~? (turn black! ! ! )

Monkey: I suddenly found two black shadows in front of me ~ one is a rabbit and the other is a monkey ~ (Oh, no ~ ~! )

Crash ~ ~ ouch ~ don't start ~ ~ ouch ~ ~ just fight! !

Black-faced monkey: Where were you just now?

Angry rabbit and Y monkey: Stare at L monkey with sharp eyes and say: Look for food! !

L Monkey: What do you think of those footprints?

Y monkey: I don't know ~ maybe you need something printed on these footprints to appear? !

L Monkey: I think there must be a young drifting pill hidden under these footprints. People who hide medicine must be afraid of being discovered, so they dug a big hole and put things in it, but they didn't feel at ease, so they stepped on the ground, so there were so many footprints ~ ~ You think I'm a genius ~ ~ Wahaha! !

White rabbit y monkey (# #! ! ! Left forehead three vertical)

Rabbit: If so. People who hide medicine must be as stupid as you!

The monkey said, stop! ~ After a while ~ ~ Oh, yes ~ ~ I just found a book at the foot of Wuming Mountain, which said, "It's nine o'clock in the afternoon."

Y monkey said: (fluttering in the afternoon) Does the name sound like a series of novels? ~ Is that all for the ninth book? ! This author is really amazing!

L the monkey said: I don't know ~ ~

Y Monkey: Did you find anything from one to eight?

L Monkey: No ~ ~ I only saw one ~! I picked it up.

White Rabbit: Such a strange name? I have read so many novels and never heard such a strange name. Looks like the content should be very good. Let me have a look.

L Monkey: I saw him take out a book from his waist ~ ~ Dangdang held it up ~ ~ I saw that it said "Juvenile Drifting Pill"

White rabbit y monkey (= =! ! Very speechless) said: This is what you said that menstruation flutters to nine o'clock in the afternoon?

L Monkey: Yes! I didn't see it! ~ still ask! ~

White rabbit (Khan): I want to tell you that it says "Youpiao Pill" ~ not "Piao Jiu in the afternoon …

L Monkey: Really? ~ Same ~ Same ~ Hehe ~ Uh ~ Isn't that what we're looking for?

Y monkey: Yes!

White Rabbit: Open it.

L monkey: (open the book of juvenile drifting pills)

Y monkey: What's the matter? What does it say! !

Monkey: (stroking his beard) Hmm! ~ ~ ~ ~ mmm! ~

The white rabbit asked anxiously: what's the matter ~! Say it! ! ! Anger!

L monkey: high ~ really high ~ ~

The white rabbit is angry: say it quickly ~

L monkey (a little scared): I said ~ I ~ ~ too abstruse ~ ~ I can't understand it! ~ flash (disappear)

White Rabbit: It's really fast ~ Forget it ~ y Monkey, look.

Y monkey: (picks up the book) hmm ~ ~ I don't understand it either ~

The little white rabbit is surprised: what ~ even you can't understand ~ ~ let me see.

White rabbit: I see ~ ~ I finally know why no one has found the juvenile drifting pill ~

L Monkey (I don't know where it came from): Oh ~ Tell me about it.

Y monkey:++!

Rabbit: How dare you show up! ~ Forget it ~ ~ Tell you the truth ~ It's all written in English ~ No one can understand that strange thing!

L Monkey: Oh ~ What does it say?

Rabbit: (reading while watching) That's what I said. Because I don't want the young drifting pills to fall into the hands of people who don't know the goods, I wrote down all the hiding places and how to take them in English ~

L Monkey: Where is it?

The rabbit looked (= =! ! ): those footprints ~ ~ ~ below ~

Y monkey: (sweating)

L Monkey: I told you! ! (I waved my bangs in front ~ ~ I am so confident when I say soft! )

The white rabbit roared: Stay away! ~

Y monkey: = =! I'm going to dig the baby pills ~ ~

A few hours later, a box was finally dug up, and the three men opened it, which just contained three juvenile drifting pills.

L monkey asked: He Fu! (How to take it)

Rabbit: Send water!

Y monkey: What water? (What water)

White rabbit: Mountain spring.

Y monkey: for example!

L Monkey: Nongfu Spring ~ ~ Nongfu Spring is a little sweet ~ o ~ leaves

Rabbit: Are you kidding? You advertise! !

L monkey: I can't help it ~ the author said that the funds were not enough ~ ~ so I took some advertisements ~ Tell him if you have any questions ~ ~ I want to hang them out for a long time! !

Who has a problem with me? !

White Rabbit: No ~! I feel very honored under your wise leadership.

Y monkey: no ~! I feel very honored under your wise leadership.

LKY: OK ~ OK ~ Keep writing ~ ~

So the three men walked out of the cave, found a stream and ate the juvenile drifting pills casually. Everyone is very happy. After a while, monkey l said, how to practice after eating young drifting pills?

Y monkey: …

White rabbit "... (looking at each other ~ stunned! )

L Monkey: You don't want to tell me that you don't know, do you? ! ~

Y monkey: I really don't know what to do!

White rabbit: I'll see if there's anything written in the book ~ hmm ~ ~ After persuading the juvenile drifting pill, I can immediately ascend to heaven and become immortal by practicing a spell called "Immortality". To practice this spell, you must find a book called Introduction to Tao. And this one is hidden at the foot of this mountain, under the third tree. There seem to be only three trees down there ...

L monkey: then let's hurry ~

So the people came to the foot of the mountain and dug up the Introduction to Tao, which is divided into three volumes, male repair, female repair and shemale ~

Rabbit: Let me see ~ ~ l monkey, you and Y monkey cultivate men. You pay attention to reading ~ two people, I'll read that woman ~

L Monkey: No ~ ~ I feel ~ ~ It's good to be a woman (blink ~ blush ~ ~)

Y monkey: forget the shemale there. !

Rabbit: pull it out ~ shoot at the target ~ the nerve is abnormal ~ I don't know why the author made the man so pitiful! ~

Monkey L: Gee, I wouldn't have done it if the author hadn't received the advertisement from the plastic surgery hospital! ~

Everyone: Alas ~

After eighty-one difficult's training, the three men finally got the word. At this time, a beautiful woman fell from the sky, and it is said that she came to see the fairy.

Beauty: Hello, everyone! ~ I am a newspaper magpie from the sky. Congratulations. Now that you have become an immortal, heaven has decided to arrange a job for you in heaven. Come with me ~

So they went to heaven and met the Jade Emperor. At this time, the Jade Emperor asked the two monkeys, "Who is the Monkey King?" .

L Monkey Y Monkey: It is said that he is a relative of our family ~

Jade Emperor: (I am a relative. I wonder if there will be another big scene one day. That would be terrible ~ forget it. Give them simple jobs) hmm ~ ~ too old gentleman ~ ~

Too old gentleman: what's the matter ~ boss!

Jade Emperor: There are three new workers here today ~ ~ I want two of them to be apprentices at your place ~ You must practice hard (eyes: pack up your things and get out if you have two more eyes ~)

Laojun: It's really ~ ~ (such a severe task ~ ~ It seems that I have to take precautions first ~ ~) Monkey, come with me to the recession palace later ~ I'll arrange tasks for you ~

Monkey: ok ~ what's the salary in January ~

Jade emperor: 2000 ~ a month.

Monkey: You have to pay on time! ~ the state has a policy ~ the wages of migrant workers cannot be defaulted ~ ~! ! !

Jade Emperor: I see ~ ~ Go ahead ~ Chang 'e ~

Chang 'e: Here ~ What's up, boss?

Jade emperor: the rabbit gives you ~ ~ salary seems! ~ retire ~

So two monkeys and rabbits began their paradise life ~ ~ ~