Anxiety often occurs. I'm worried that I can't keep up with others' footsteps, and I'm worried that I'm growing too slowly to keep up with my imagination.
So I began to "invest in myself crazily", set up various flags, make various plans, pay for various classes, listen to various audio ... and charge. I thought this way would make me grow faster, but the truth is: I often finish before I start, or stuff it in my head like a swallow, and I'm not sure if I have digested it. There is a kind of body that can't keep up with the maturity of my soul. This is not an exaggeration, because that's how I used to spend it.
I think there are two extremes about people's pursuit of growth. One is to be content with the status quo and muddle along without you. Why do you have to hurt yourself? The other is the despair of success or recognition, running hard, the more anxious you are, and it seems that you will never reach the desired state, and finally it is no different from standing still.
Sometimes we often judge right and wrong as experienced people or bystanders. I often ask myself, is this really the case? Do people who stay where they are really not growing up? Do people who run hard really have an effect? I don't want to speculate on this answer. Everyone has his own value scale, and I think the parties know best.
Growth is a process of constant transformation. I always think that growth itself is a game, and the most important thing is to compete with yourself. Perhaps in a very short time, we are used to comparing ourselves with others, such as "whose children study well" when we were young, "who was admitted to a prestigious school" when we grew up, "who was admitted to a prestigious school" after graduation and "whose salary is high" after two or three years of work ... It seems that there will be active or passive comparisons at each stage. In the short term, it may inspire us to make changes and let us adapt to the surrounding environment more quickly, not to mention the actual effect. The coordinate point as the target reference is always changing, which often makes us dream.
As an individual, I want to analyze it from this unchangeable reference point. In the long run, I seem to think that this competitive frame of reference can stand scrutiny, and it won't make you short-sighted and confused, because you have an unchangeable algorithm. This contrast is more worthwhile, interesting and challenging.
One of the most frequently heard words before, "You can't succeed, but you can't help growing up". On the other hand, who doesn't want to succeed? It's just that happiness comes too suddenly and you always have to stand up, and growth is the stepping stone to "stand up".
According to my own thinking and reference thinking summary:
First, learn to take and gain a sense of relative security.
The ultimate goal of growth is to gain a sense of security. Of course, you must know that there is no absolute sense of security in this world. Although it is painful to know the truth, we accept that life is a difficult journey. If we don't suffer here, we will grow there.
Second, the painful experience, continuous trial and error, bear the price to get yourself out of the world of self-paralysis, and decide to 100% control your own destiny.
Thirdly, about life and death, you know that as a human being, this mortal body can't escape from birth and death, so it is inevitable to experience it in every experience of life.
The worst situation in this process is that it is unacceptable, and then it will break the jar and even drag others down. For example, because of despair, people are depressed and want to commit suicide, and people around them have to spend energy to deal with it.
The best situation is just to learn to be calm after accepting it, sit tight and be unbearable, but try to maintain dignity. If you can think about what you can understand in this process and pass it on to others and future generations, it is also a valuable experience of those who have experienced it (of course, you can not refer to it).
In other words, any kind of ownership requires relative efforts and continuous acquisition, which is the essence of growth and self-game.
Whether you work hard or not, I believe you have your own measure.
You are the answer to everything.