First, use new feelings to save your predecessor, which greatly hone your mental state and mental control ability.
If you want to get back together completely, you must follow the premise that she has ended this relationship, so that your relationship with you will be strengthened again, so all you can do is "wait" to improve yourself and establish a comfortable relationship.
Until something goes wrong with her new feelings and the enthusiasm of her new feelings fades, she feels relaxed and comfortable when she is with you, and the time to go back will be great.
Every relationship will have problems, and every relationship will enter the running-in period, which is only a matter of time. If you are willing to wait and improve yourself, you will eventually get results.
When others have new goals, you can still contact each other, but you must keep the same popularity as each other so as not to make others feel pressure at work. If she has contacted you completely and actively, then you should live your daily life well, improve yourself, and then wait for an opportunity to break the ice.
Second, if there is a third party, we must pay attention to the following matters in communication:
1, don't try to compete with the new target market.
If your ex has a new goal, she mentioned in the whole process of chatting with you that her daily life has been very good, and the new goal is very concerned and caring for her. Don't gossip about new goals at this time, be objective and rational, otherwise your predecessor can only think that you are gossiping. Do I need makeup to save my ex-boyfriend?
At this moment, you should say "you seem to be having a good time, I pray for you", and even praise the new goal with your predecessor to build up the feeling that you are a team.
What will happen if you do this? For your ex, you seem to have completely learned to let go of the old feelings and even empathize with them, which will make her feel that you are completely harmless. However, for the new goal of the predecessor, most people will care about the interaction between the other half and the predecessor. After all, you have been together for such a long time, especially now that you are mainly in control of her feelings, it is very easy to make his psychological state explode.
But in fact, you really interfered with their feelings, and you even praised him with your ex, saying that you regretted not cherishing it. This makes you completely convinced of social morality. When a third party wants to communicate with his predecessor and expects you not to associate with him, it is easy for his predecessor to feel that the new goal is narrow, and there are likely to be some quarrels to speed up the completion of their feelings.
2. Wait for the new relationship to go wrong.
When the new love is over and the running-in period is over, it is very likely that the ex and the third party will gradually have some disputes. It is time for us to take further action.
Because you were together, you probably know her best among the people your predecessor knew. It's very easy for her to complain to you when there is something wrong with her feelings. At this time, your response should be not to gossip about the third party directly.
take for example
Ex: My other half keeps asking me to reply to messages in seconds, but sometimes it's really busy. I hate it. You: That's normal. After all, your standards are so good. I think he's just worried about losing you, which is actually quite likable. Haha, it's still you: actually, nothing will happen to me. After all, your popularity and personality are really good. He should also feel lucky to be with you. Understand him a little more.
If this happens more than once, remember to change the tangent rule, that is, to hold up the ex's side of highlighting the gains and losses of the third party in language, so that the ex feels that he has a higher position in the new relationship and their feelings are unbalanced.
Then wait until you lose your feelings, and then your chance will come.
3. Write a separate joint letter
The purpose of this letter is to express your mastery of your predecessor, but you also want to let go and pave the way for the relationship between WeChat friends.
Post this letter on your own community marketing, and it is best for relatives and friends of the other party to see it. Try to get public opinion on your side, and you will gain the moral high ground.
Finally, note that this move can be applied during the breakup period, but it is recommended not to apply it during the self-adjustment period, otherwise your mental state will easily explode.
In addition, if we make a scene when we break up, it's hard to see what we all know. I suggest not to paint it again, otherwise it will make you fake.
The risk of applying this trick is very high. After all, everyone should see it online, especially in their direction. In fact, it is difficult for other people's relatives and friends to guarantee that the wind frequency will definitely blow on you, but its return is also very high, so you must carefully evaluate it before applying.
The format of the document is marked "Give her next job" and then explain the common problems when 10- 15 takes care of her, which is best to impress her predecessor.
In the second paragraph, I wrote "To my ex" to admit that I have done a lot of mistakes and learned a lot in my feelings. Finally, it shows that everyone wants to let go and wish her happiness. She likes to ask how much you love her and will keep asking and asking. Please take the trouble to respond to her predecessor:
This relationship has brought me a lot of experience. After getting along for a long time, I rushed forward diligently, hoping to make you live better in the future. Finally, I found that I gave up the present, but I couldn't get the future I needed. I'm sorry I ignored you these days. I understand that you are a person who must be warm. I really love you, but I forgot to water our love and make you sad. I hope you can take care of yourself and cope with the hardships outside. I also hope that you can persevere, be a man's spiritual harbor at present, and let him be free and diligent for their future.
After this letter comes out, you don't need to contact your predecessor to see how she reacts. If she has a positive response to you, the interaction is not bad, and you can use the "good friend recovery method" to save it later.
Third, the practical skills of saving the predecessor with new feelings
For the ex with new feelings, there is a very useful compound method. The "nurturing and killing" of reviving the world teaches you to save the ex with new feelings.
We were all long-distance lovers, and then there was a third party. Not long ago, that is, the first two sundays of separation, we also had a p-friend meeting. He _ I broke up because he thought he couldn't stand a long-distance relationship, and then a more active girl was better for him. The two of them are very close now.
But at that time, I agreed with him that I would go to his big city until my senior year as an intern, and then he spoke very well at that time. In these two weeks, everyone suddenly lost all contact, but on the fourth day, everyone suddenly had a little contact. Their contact was back to the initial ambiguity, and then he clearly proposed to be a P friend.
I don't think this seems appropriate, so I also explicitly proposed to eliminate that kind of contact with him, and then he agreed. It's just that sometimes he deliberately pulls me out.
I am still tenacious in front of him, so I feel that many times he tells me about him and I even encourage him. I also taught him how to chase that girl and so on, so he probably thought I was really put down, and I was at ease with him and told me almost everything.
I would like to ask whether the cold storage method should be applied, or whether it should be maintained like that, or whether the cold friend return method should be applied?
You are on good terms with him now. You are really like good friends, so his suspicion of you is extremely low. Even I think one thing is that you let the other person learn to let go of his guard. This is a very suitable area for everyone to study and train.
In the case of chatting with him, you still enjoy chasing a third party. I think this way is very helpful to eliminate the previous vigilance of the other party, because others will think that you really should learn to let go.
Therefore, if you have a third party now, and then the other party is suspicious or strong about you, it is also a way to eliminate the other party's vigilance, which is worth learning. This is also the first point.
Well, you have been promoted to an effective position now, but the problem now is that although he has long been suspicious of you, he has not felt anything for you. He is more like your good friend now.
We need to make some changes in this link gradually, and then let him think that you are suitable for couples.
But now you encounter many obstacles.
The problem of foreign love
Because you are in love in a foreign country, it is very likely that for him, the expression of his love or the way he feels love is great, and one of them may be waiting, waiting physically.
Sometimes this kind of company doesn't even need to interact with him. You just need to be with him, and you will feel deep love. Some people will. For example, you often meet some lovers. They are all in the coffee shop or at home. They have no interaction with each other at all, but when I feel him around, I think they are deeply in love.
This thing of foreign love can actually be reproduced. It's very simple, for example, when the other person is in the shower, you turn on the video on your mobile phone, and then you do your thing. Another convenience is to take a bath, as if that person is beside you, across the display screen. He was taking a bath when you were working in front of the computer, but you two seemed to be together.
I have met this kind of lover, and most people will think that they are blind, but it is actually more meaningful. According to this method, you can simulate the feeling of two people living in the same room, so you don't have to underestimate this kind of party, which is especially helpful for long-distance parties.
So in fact, you are already effective good friends with him now, and you can do similar things sometimes, and then you are even a little ambiguous because you have already had sex.
For example, if you are undressing, you are showing your more open side and interacting with each other, then you are like good friends, but there is a little ambiguity in this link.
But you still have to remember to keep your boundaries, because I just mentioned from your question that you used to be P friends, and we want to be a standardized person with boundaries, so in your norms, couples should not have sex before dating.
So, communicate with each other according to your norms, but in the link of classmate relationship, you can do some seduction and teasing.
Why do you mention this in particular?
It is because you just mentioned that this was something he felt very serious at that time, so if you can gradually prove that foreign love is the same in the process of being good friends, you can achieve a lot of practical results of waiting, and he will gradually get back together, because this may be of great value to him.
Then there are several equally important items that I want you to consider.
1. What is your stop loss point? For example, how long do you want to work hard to get back to this relationship?
2. How much risk do you want to take to recover? In fact, your situation may be remedied quickly, but it is very risky. Naturally, we can also make long-term overall planning and take the route slowly.
The risk and length of this period will determine the way you want to use it and what you want to do for it, because if you are willing to save this period for a very long time, you are likely to get rid of the situation of foreign love at some point after graduating from college in the future.
If you really want to make it long, you can really make it back slowly here and make good friends with him throughout the process. I just don't know your state of mind. Is it possible?
Because sometimes he associates with a third party, you can be unhappy, you can get more and more uncomfortable, and your mental state and mentality will be hurt. So you have to weigh this thing yourself, whether you can have strong enough inner support to fight hard.
The important thing is that hard work doesn't mean that you will succeed in the future, because if you stay in this link for a year or two, but you haven't changed during this time, he won't be able to have feelings for you after a year or two.
I broke up with you because I have no feelings for you now, and naturally I have no feelings for you after a year or two. The same is true of the problem of foreign love I mentioned. If you can't handle this problem for a long time, how can he feel this way about you?
So don't ignore this kind of problem in the whole process here, because some people will think that I won't have a chance until the future because I am a classmate now. Actually, it's not like this. You need to change it in the whole process here, and then you can implement a "nurturing and killing" method in this link.
Use the "nourishing and killing" in recovery to recover.
Let me explain to you first:
Hedging refers to three ways to control the price of a single stock or securities in the financial market, and then complete the concentration of assets or securities from scattered speculators to very few controllers. Raising, covering and killing are three different personal behaviors, and they make three different postures at different stages.
Maintenance: refers to keeping the price of securities in line with the expectations of most speculators, so that most speculators can continue to make small profits and attract more and more speculators to join.
Set: refers to the change of standards, that is, under the condition that there are enough and widespread speculators involved, the price of securities is contrary to the expectations of most speculators. Immediately, it is mainly manifested in some small-scale deficits in speculators' accounts.
Kill down: refers to the strong change made by the controller when the standard changes greatly, which is contrary to the expectations of most speculators. Immediately, the main performance is that speculators have a large deficit in their accounts and even have to withdraw from the sales market.
The whole process of cultivating and killing is similar to:
Let him get used to your place first, and when you think he is infatuated with you, suddenly tell him that I really can't contact him like that anymore, and I have to leave.
Setting: Your departure is likely to become his obvious pain, which will force him to make a decision. At that time, the other party will probably realize that you are very important.
Kill: Then you should prepare to leave in advance. He may have missed your point before. In order to better satisfy the painful feeling now, he is leaving you, so he must make some gestures. It's easy to push him to save you at this time. He will come and get back together with you.
If you take action at the right time, you are likely to succeed. If this move is to succeed, it is important that you make such a departure rule at the right time, which is naturally risky.
What is the right time? That is, you need to distinguish between what opportunities to say and what to say. For him, he jumped. Jumping means that he is probably used to your link now, and he may not have any obvious idea of saving it, but we are going to pull into this gap.
Suppose there is a boundary between a good friend and a couple, and we all expect him to reach a jumping point when his situation is closest to this line, so that you can make this exit, so that the probability of him bypassing the couple's area is high, and you can succeed.
A detailed analysis shows that you are good friends with him now. What opportunities does he have to jump over?
For example, after you finish school, you can live in the same city with him, and then at this time you clearly put forward such a rule. Because you are in the same big city, many problems of your values have been solved, and then it is very likely that you really can't stand it now and really have to find other goals.
Do I need makeup to save my ex-boyfriend? At this time, the other party may think that the previous problem is gone, but now he realizes that he really feels the same way about you, and he probably wants to clearly put forward the compound rule.