Success is the dream of countless people, but what is life like after success? They are empty, lonely, bored and anxious. Shu is the chief trainer of Guangzhou Simple Management Consulting Company. He described the lives of some successful people and said, "It feels like living in hell".

However, this is not necessarily a retrogression of life, on the contrary, it is a precursor to further improvement of life.

Maslow, a master of humanistic psychology, divides human needs into five levels: first, physiological needs, such as sex and diet; Second, the need for security; Third, the need for attribution; Fourth, the need for respect; Fifth, the need for self-realization.

Shu said that most successful people have met their needs in the first four floors, and it is difficult for them to meet the contents of these four floors. Is that them? Empty, lonely, bored, anxious? The most important reason is because? Did you get everything you wanted? . Next, they will develop to the level of self-realization, that is, solving successful people? Life confusion in the post-success era? The only antidote.

However, on the road to self-realization, successful people face huge cracks:

? To succeed, the rules of life they master, such as power, control and conquest, are external;

? To realize self, we must master the internal laws.

However, because the external aspect is too successful, successful people often ignore the importance of internal rules. It is easy for them to think that since they have reached the pinnacle of society, the law of life they have mastered is the most correct, even the only effective key.

How to deal with this fracture in the post-success era is the key issue for successful people to realize themselves.

? There are three propositions in life: the relationship with oneself, the relationship with relatives and the relationship with society. ? A Dongguan entrepreneur, Mr. Hu, who did not want to be named (all the successful people in this edition are pseudonyms, and some identity details have been changed to respect the privacy of the characters in the text, so please don't sit in the right place) told reporters:? Compared with ordinary people, successful people just solve a proposition better? Relationship with society. They just have more social resources. If they think they have solved all the propositions in life, then they will ignore the other two propositions and encounter a lot of trouble. ?

Mr. Hu once owned two processing plants and an IT company. He concluded that among the rich people he knew, he did not envy anyone, because almost all people faced the same four problems:

Before emptiness, what they care about most is success. Now, they have succeeded. As a result, life lost its direction. I got everything I wanted most. What else do I want?

Lonely money has a great influence on intimate relationships, and many people can't handle this problem well. Moreover, after their success, their trust in interpersonal relationships has dropped sharply, and they can't tell whether their relatives and friends care about themselves or their own wealth. As a result, their husband-wife relationship, parent-child relationship and friend relationship have all changed, thus losing the most important emotional support of intimate relationship to a person.

How many billionaires does Mr. Hu know? The original sin was that they took advantage of the law. They are worried that their supporters will fall and their wealth will be deprived.

"Anxiety", eating, drinking and having fun, etc., have brought enough happiness and can no longer satisfy them. Or, they look for extreme excitement, such as taking drugs, such as competing for lovers, such as gambling. Otherwise, they feel the inner impulse of self-realization, but it is not easy for them who are used to the external evaluation system to find a breakthrough in self-realization. Therefore, they are often troubled by inexplicable anxiety.

? Five negative emotions that plague China's billionaires?

1. Depression:? Not interested in anything?

Zhang Li, a 3 1 year-old Sichuan boss, owns three factories, mainly producing clothes and shoes. His business is in good condition, and he is estimated to be worth tens of millions. He is a typical self-made successful person.

However, more than a month ago, Zhang Li entered the Sunflower Psychological Counseling Center. He told consultant Hu that he didn't know what he was living for, and he seemed to have lost interest in everything. Even, he didn't know why he came to see a psychiatrist. "Maybe, I just want to talk to someone."

Zhang Li was born in rural Sichuan, with two younger brothers and one younger sister. His family is poor. When I was in the third grade of primary school, my family couldn't afford the tuition for a while and almost dropped out of school. He doesn't like studying, and he has set an ambition since he was a child? Be sure to make a lot of money and show it to others. ? Because of this ambition, after graduating from junior high school, Zhang Li came to the Pearl River Delta to work hard. Several partners came out with him, but Zhang Li never contacted them, and he didn't go home, because his goal was? After I earn the first sum of 6,543,800 yuan, I will find them and treat them well. ?

Four years later, Zhang Li, who was only 2 1 year old, earned the first 1 10,000 as he wished. Go home with clothes on? On my birthday, I invited the villagers to watch an American blockbuster and held a feast for everyone who wanted to come, which the villagers had never seen before. Probably spent tens of thousands of dollars. No one has ever given me a birthday. This is my first birthday in my life. ?

The tension of being a multimillionaire doesn't require much for life. Living in a two-bedroom house; He doesn't pay attention to diet, so he is satisfied with a pickle rice cooked by his mother. None of them are famous brands; Yes, it's a car of more than 200 thousand.

Zhang Li's girlfriend Qin Xiao is also a fellow villager, two years younger than him. They have been together since they came to Guangzhou 10 years ago. Zhang Li said that he never cheated on his girlfriend, but she often made him sad. Qin Xiao loves to enjoy and play, and has sex with other men, but every time she apologizes to Zhang Li, Zhang Li forgave her.

For relatives and girlfriends, that kind of tension is too easy to say. It's just that for my father, tension is very resistant. He refused to let his father come to Guangzhou, but let his father stay at home alone and send him 500 yuan's living expenses every month, which is undoubtedly true to him? Nine Niu Yi hairs? .

Do you feel happy after your success? I don't feel nervous at all. On the contrary, "my career is getting bigger and bigger, but I am getting smaller and smaller." Did he explain? Small? Is it? Small? The meaning of. He feels more and more useless. What's the point of making so much money? In this self-doubt, his mood is getting lower and lower.

In 2002, intense depression attacked nervousness. He didn't go out and contact anyone. A month later, his mood improved again. But from then on, every once in a while, depression will recur. Now the frequency is more and more frequent, and it will be repeated every two or three months. Not long before seeing a psychiatrist, he shut himself up for a whole week, not going out, not answering the phone, not talking to his mother.

Dr. Hu said that nervousness is a typical depression, and the emotions are all gray. Without bright colors, nothing can arouse his interest. He once went to Macau to gamble and tried to test his endurance through the ups and downs on the gambling table. As a result, he found that he didn't care how much he won or lost. After discovering this, Zhang Li also lost interest in gambling.

Dr. Hu described it this way: he is calm, calm and indifferent, just like a desert, a desert without any wind. ?

2. Lost: I have never lived for myself.

? Successful people often find out in the end Shu said, Success is not the life they want, which makes them very depressed. ?

Wang Fang, 40, is a city near Guangzhou? Call the wind and rain? Characters. She is the first general manager of a five-star hotel. In the early 1990s, she entered the profiteering real estate industry and accumulated a lot of wealth, with assets exceeding 100 million.

However, she said to Shu, "this life of drinking all day?" Not the life I want at all? . A few years ago, she began to think,? What am I living for? I have never lived for myself. I have lived for my parents, husbands, children and employees all my life. "

Wang Fang said that she is willing to think of anyone, and her subordinates always praise her and say that it is difficult to meet a boss like her. She also tries to keep a balance between family and work. However, this balance was broken. Two years ago, my husband filed for divorce because he couldn't stand that his wife was better than himself. After the divorce, her ex-husband who shared a lot of her property soon found a younger and more beautiful wife.

This is a great stimulus to Wang Fang. Since then, Wang Fang has fallen into extreme distrust of men. Although there are many suitors, she always suspects that they are for her wealth, not her people, so she has never accepted anyone. ? It's nice to be alone. ? Wang Fang often comforts herself.

Now that it's successful? Not the life I want at all? So what kind of life does she want? Wang Fang's answer is that, for example, flower shops, bookstores and dry cleaners can make a living, and they are very relaxed, and they will not let their husbands stand the divorce because they are too strong.

3. Complain: What happened at home?

"The woman succeeded, and her husband couldn't stand it. When a husband succeeds, it is easy to complain about his wife? Can't keep up with the situation? . Luo Gang and Mrs. Luo are like this. " .

Luo Gang is now the boss of a group company in Guangdong, only 42 years old, with assets of hundreds of millions.

When I was young, the Roches were a perfect couple. Luo Gang is a graduate of Harvard University, and Mrs. Luo is a double bachelor in Peking University. She used to work in a department in the State Council. 10 years ago, after the rapid development of Luo Gang's career, Mrs. Luo gave up her enviable job in the State Council and became a housewife, devoting herself wholeheartedly to the education of her husband and children. And because she came to the south from the north, there was no communication, and Mrs. Luo's social circle became narrower and narrower. In the end, her husband and son became everything to her. She is strict not only with her husband but also with her son.

But now, the relationship between the two people has undergone some subtle changes. Luo Gang's career is in full swing. He often cooperates with the most famous big companies at home and abroad and often attends high-level meetings. At this time, Luo Gang felt that his wife's image and temperament were no longer worthy to go in and out of these occasions with him. Mrs Luo realized the change in Luo Gang and reacted violently, because she felt that she had done everything for Luo Gang, and now he was ungrateful.

They are not the only ones who caused this situation. More and more successful Luo Gang became the object of family rivalry. His parents want to control him and watch their son become more and more successful. Mother and child are expensive? Mother-in-law is becoming more and more domineering and critical of Mrs. Luo. Moreover, Luo Gang's brothers, sisters and relatives also joined the war, and Mrs Luo felt more and more marginalized and lonely at home.

However, Mrs. Luo also has her own supporters: her son Luo Fu. It is natural for a mother-in-law to take care of her husband, and it is also natural for a mother to take care of her son. She is getting stricter and stricter with her son. However, Luo Fu is 14 years old and has entered a period of psychological rebellion. She refused to listen to her mother more and more, and Mrs. Luo had to join the competition for Luo Gang again, and the conflict between the giants became increasingly fierce.

German family therapist Hellinger said that children are the protectors of the family. If the family is out of balance, will the children? Sacrifice yourself? Keep the family in balance. Laurence family relationship is more and more disorderly, Luo Fu? Sacrifice yourself? . One day, he suddenly went blind, but when he went to the hospital, he couldn't find anything wrong. Finally, the psychiatrist diagnosed hysteria or Luo Fu's subconscious? Don't want to see family conflicts? . The psychologist pretended to have a specific injection, but in fact it was just physiological saline. Blind? It has been cured. Recently, however, Luo's father complained several times that he had a stomachache and was sweating all over in bed, but the hospital could not find out the problem. He went to see a psychiatrist and was diagnosed as hysterical. Abdominal pain and quilt? Specific medicine? It was cured, but psychologists warned that if their family relationship did not improve, the children would develop into a new type of hysteria.

The child became the patron saint of the family. Now, instead of focusing on Luo Gang, the whole family has turned their attention to Rover.

4. Fear: fear of being deprived of property

"Fear is also a common emotional trap for successful people in China, especially those billionaires. According to Maslow's theory, the physiological needs, belonging needs and respect needs of the rich in China have been met, but the demand for security is relatively lacking.

Their first concern is Ruff. For example, Wang Fang, although she is worth hundreds of millions, is afraid to buy a favorite female sports car, a favorite watch or a famous brand. The reason for doing this is not frugality, but fear of family members being kidnapped. One of her friends, the child, was kidnapped and redeemed a huge sum of money. Fortunately, the child's life was saved.

Secondly, they are worried about being deprived of their property. Mr. Hu said that if you want to have a career in by going up one flight of stairs, you must find a backer, but this is tantamount to giving your own destiny and freedom to the other side, so he will never do this. However, as far as he knows, some billionaires, their? The first bucket of gold? Without innocence, such a rich man is afraid of seeing the sun. They are very worried that if their backer falls, their illegal property will be deprived.

Thirdly, there are some disorderly competitions in China, among which market rules are not the only ones that play a role, while hidden rules play an important role. They are worried that they will be defeated by hidden rules. Mr. Hu said that a real estate agent in a city earned hundreds of millions. The municipal government wanted to develop a relatively remote area and instructed him to invest. Unwilling but afraid to disobey, he had to borrow billions to invest. The loan interest is not low and the pressure is great. Although the municipal government promised that this area would prosper and his real estate would sell well, he had no idea at all and was worried that he would draw water with a sieve.

5. guilt:? Am I a sinner?

Shu said, "Guilt is also a common psychology of the rich in China. In the era of rapid social change, if their money is not innocent, they will know this in their hearts and know that they are innocent, even if they don't say it publicly. Predator? 、? Thief? , so you will feel guilty. This is the original sin of some rich people. "

What if you have fear and guilt? Shu said that the higher spiritual realm has become religious belief, while the lower spiritual realm has become superstition. Another reason why they do this is that they feel that they have not developed themselves. So many opportunities, so much luck, is there an invisible force?

For example, at a Buddhist conference in Fujian, Shu saw two very famous male tycoons as cleaners, sweeping the floor, washing dishes and washing dishes. They think it's a kind of atonement.

;