Dear grandma:

How are you doing in heaven? I miss you so much, I want to hold you, tell you a lot about my feelings, and talk about what is happening around me. I really want to tell you how much I miss you, miss you, and care about you.

Today is Valentine’s Day. I don’t know why I think of you again and cry for you again. I remember the last time I shed tears was on Christmas Eve in 2001, because it was on Christmas Eve of that year that you left me and passed away from this world. I can't remember how long you have been gone, as if all this happened yesterday, and I don't want to accept it.

Grandma, my dear grandma, your every smile, every move, every word and every deed always comes to my mind. I remember that when you were happy, you would bask in the sun outside and introduce to a few old men and women that this was your granddaughter. You would proudly tell them how old she was, where she went to school... and where she went to class. . When you are unhappy, you always blame yourself, saying that you are dragging us down and it would be better to leave early. I never let you say these words, never let you leave me alone, because you are my greatest courage to live. I love you more than my parents, you know? However, you still left, taking my heart with you.

In the days before you left, I stayed with you, watching your father feed you stewed eggs and the doctor giving you an intravenous drip. I saw the changes in your body every day. You used to weigh a few pounds, but now you are just skin and bones. I'm so surprised how you, who have always been afraid of pain, can endure a few sore spots on your body. Maybe you are in too much pain to tell us that there are deep holes dug by you on the wall. Maybe those holes are your actions to relieve the pain and cannot control yourself. My father and I went to the drugstore to buy you medicine. Maybe we already knew that these would not help you. Since the hospital can't take you in, we can't and don't want to let you continue to hurt. Maybe this is the only way to relieve your pain. Find a way. Apart from these, Dad and I really don’t know what to do for you. The night before you left, I saw that you could no longer swallow the stewed eggs that your father cooked for you. I was anxious to ask my father not to feed you anymore, and tears fell from the corners of your eyes. I saw it. I held back my tears and wiped it for you. I felt happy for you in my heart, but I was also worried that I couldn't express. Grandma, can you feel it? I slept very uneasily that night, and in my daze I heard your rapid breathing over and over again.

The next morning, you still let go. Through the small window, I saw your body dressed in red shrouds by your family. At that moment, my mind went blank and I could not face you in red clothes. Suddenly, I was afraid of the color red for the first time. I stood beside your bed. I remember crying when my father asked me to say the last words to you. I couldn't tell you, couldn't face your sleeping face. I remember I said that grandma, you haven't left yet. You haven't left yet, I'm looking at you, wake up soon... Did you hear these words?

When I said goodbye to you for the last time, I saw you being pushed out with makeup on. I couldn’t believe my eyes.

I became a little sluggish, and it took me a long time to come back to my senses after my father said goodbye to you. I stood by your side for a long time and refused to leave, you know? Once again, when you were pushed away by others, I knelt there and watched you go away. Did you see that? If time could be turned back, no matter how long or short it is, I would like you to come back and listen to you tell me about your past again, proudly talk about the glorious achievements of the children around you again, listen to your witty words again, and watch again I see your smile...

Grandma, how are you doing now? What has become of you? I really want to see you again, stroke your soft white hair again, hold your weak hand again, look at your kind and kind face again, and talk to you... I miss you, I miss you, my dearest and most beloved grandma, come back...I am waiting for you here...

My granddaughter who will always love you

Yours sincerely, Yueyue