When the mountains and rivers are clear and everything is revived, I always think of the poem "It rains a lot during the Qingming Festival, and pedestrians on the road want to break their souls", and then my mood becomes heavy. After two unforgettable losses, I felt the fragility of life and even lamented that life was like paper.
My father has always been very concerned about my studies, and before he died, he told his mother, "Don't tell Qiang about me, he will graduate soon." Hearing the news that I was admitted to the provincial judicial school, my father was so excited that he didn't sleep a wink all night. The next morning, my father went out to buy trotters and watermelons to comfort me. My father was still ill, but he insisted on accompanying me on my first trip. He asked for leave from the hospital and took me on the train to Hefei. On the train, my father and I sat side by side, watching the scenery and chatting all the way. Near the provincial capital, it is about the wee hours. Father's dark skin turned yellow in the dim light of the carriage. He said, "it's good to be at home for a thousand days, but it's hard to be outside for a while." When you are alone, you should take good care of your body. "My father hasn't read many books and often complains about his situation in the company. With the growth of age and physical discomfort, he was transferred from the first-line workshop to the warehouse, followed by the warehouse manager and finally the doorman. Only when my father talked about work did I see that this father, who has been so kind that he won't even scold his children, has a personality. On the day of completing the admission formalities, my father was ready to go back to school. At the school gate, my father looked dignified and said to me earnestly, "Call me ..." 1992 On the first day in Tomb-Sweeping Day, my father, who had just turned 50, left us forever. I didn't know at home and didn't even see my father for the last time.
I was at my grandmother's bed when she left. I caressed grandma's wrinkled hand and felt her weak pulse fading away. I remember that in the second day of junior high school, the weather in Tomb-Sweeping Day was exceptionally fresh, and the mountains were covered with azaleas. My senior classmates asked me to dig bamboo shoots. His preaching seemed to make me smell bacon and bamboo shoots, and we slipped into a bamboo garden. Bamboo gardens are full of vitality and bamboo shoots are everywhere. I broke off the first one and was found. My grandmother accompanied me to the team's criticism meeting. Grandma who was criticized didn't blame me. She came home and told me the story of spitting nipples. It is said that a child who stole fish got deeper and deeper because of his mother's connivance, and was finally sentenced to death. Before the execution, he hated his mother's son and bit off his mother's nipple. Grandma used popular language to let me deeply understand the truth of "don't do it with small evils". My father's early death accelerated grandma's aging. The 73-year-old grandmother, who was alert and observant, was arched by the blow and her eyes were full of melancholy. Tears will flow when the wind blows. When the unit issued the uniform, I specially wore it home to show my grandmother. My grandmother touched my body and hat badge again and again and said excitedly, "My family is strong and promising", and tears came down. We formed a family and had children one after another, which rekindled my hope for grandma's life. She works for us indoors and outdoors every day and never seems tired. However, one day, my grandmother fell off the wooden ladder and was unconscious. The doctor said two options for us to choose, one is conservative treatment and the other is surgery. I chose the former for my grandmother. The family stood in front of the bed, quietly waiting for the old man to leave.
One is that children should be filial and respectful, and the other is that elders have given us life and a happy life. We can only choose the way to die for them. Young me, I can't hide my inner pain. I wrote to the head teacher in Hefei. The teacher wrote back and said, "... after all, we all want to grow up, but the cost of growing up is often so heavy." Filial piety and good work and life are the greatest comfort to my father and grandmother. " Every year around Tomb-Sweeping Day, I will find this yellowed letter and read the words written by the teacher softly, and my eyes are always hazy.
Peach blossom and pear blossom are in bloom for the second time, and they have arrived in Tomb-Sweeping Day again this year. In this season of flowers, I try to change my mood. But a recent class reunion made me hard to get over it. Twenty years after leaving school, we have changed from ignorant teenagers to today's women and husbands. The joy of reunion after a long separation makes us feel that time is like water and life is like a song, but there are also deep notes. A female classmate's article is so well written that the teacher often reads her article as a model essay in class. There is a saying that I still remember, "It is the mother's pain that brought us into this world". Moreover, she died young before she could repay her mother's childbirth and experience the taste of being a mother. We mourn for her. It seems that, like a heavy heart, Tomb-Sweeping Day's peach blossoms and pear blossoms are destined to open in memory of the dead.