It is not terrible for a woman to lose her virginity and heart. The terrible thing is that she has no amnesia. ...
People always like to treat facts as jokes and then cover them up with jokes!
Everyone thinks he is unique in the world, so there is no uniqueness in the world.
5. Living is boring, which proves that the imagination is too beautiful, the imagination is too beautiful, and it proves that there are too few experiences and too few experiences, so living is boring. ...
6. In fact, the more dangerous/exciting/beautiful/touching love, no matter what the outcome, everyone wants to experience it ~
7, people face death from birth, what is trouble? ...
8. An unforgettable love is like a tragedy that is stopped halfway. It is not sad because of the sad ending, but unforgettable because it didn't wait until the end. ...
9. Facing life, some people strive to be the most beautiful in their limited lives, while others are doubling their lives and approaching the return. ...
10, some people you can't get because you don't understand greed, and some people you will lose because you are too greedy. It is difficult to be a man, and it is even more difficult to be a woman. It is even harder to be a woman who can grasp greed!
1 1. A naive person must have a dark place.
12, as a woman, you should actually trust men. It's like wanting to believe that world peace will come, even though, you know, there is a constant world war now.
13, the best way to see if a man loves you is to see if he has brought you into his world and his life.
14. Dissatisfaction is a suspended substitute, which makes people have the desire to climb up constantly in comparison.
15, women must choose: it is not safe to be with the man they like; It is unhappy to be with a man that a woman doesn't like.
16. There are two kinds of contradictions in the world that will never be reconciled: one is class contradiction, and the other is mother-in-law contradiction.
17. When one door of happiness closes, another door will open. We often stare at the closed door, but turn a blind eye to the open one.
18, the advantage of marriage is that you always have a place of your own, but the problem is that you can only have this place forever.
19, beauty can only provide eyes for others, but it may not bring happiness.
20. Men who require 20 points love themselves 100 points, and men who do not require 100 points love themselves 20 points.
2 1, the person you love desperately may be the least worthy of love; The person you love with reservations may be the cutest.
22. If a woman wants to live a better life, she should still take the road of inner masculinity and outer femininity.
Never frown even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.
wisecrack
1, pieces, no paste head. If you can't cross the river, don't complain that your crotch is full of water.
3, people die than people, and goods are thrown than goods.
4, Wowotou stepped on a foot, no good cake!
I have never been a soldier or a bandit!
6, the weasel lays down the mouse, a nest is not as good as a nest.
7. When a crow falls on a pig, no one should say who is black.
8, itchy skin is not terrible, terrible is itchy heart!
9. It doesn't matter if your head is empty. The key is not to get into the water.
10, the meat on the belly will only be thick, not thin.
1 1, garbage export, export garbage.
12, the weight is like a chicken's ass, and it is growing every year!
13, I would rather hit the wall than face the wall at home.
14, you boy, you are really crazy, and your breath is bigger than beriberi.
15, once the seas dried up and the rocks crumbled, but it was difficult to get together and disperse.
16, learning the sea is endless, and there are shortcuts in Shushan.
17, I looked at you yesterday, and my eyes still hurt.
18, 30 cents to buy two rotten eggplant, expensive and cheap is not a commodity.
19, as a typical failure, you are too successful!
20, radish eggplant a basket of vegetables, whose children do not love.
2 1, I can't get it, and it didn't take much effort to get it!
22. Whoever delays me for a while, I will make him regret it for life.
23. Sleeping is the best tool to test a teacher's teaching level.
24. There are no constant promises, only endless lies.
25. Baidu can't find the 30-degree smile on your mouth.
26, don't pull so far, who is sure that you can live to that day.
27. What is your vital capacity? You can blow cow B so big.
28. I have never been cheated, because no one has ever cheated me.
Whether cycling is fashionable or not depends on whether you are really poor.
30. When sows can climb trees and pigs think so.
3 1. My ideal is to be a bather of human soul.
32. Who says tofu can't kill people? Try changing frozen tofu next time.
The early bird catches the worm, and the early worm is eaten by the bird.
34. People like you can only live two episodes in one drama!
If you go first, don't blame me for betraying you.
God will certainly forgive me, because that's his profession.
37. Don't look for me if you have nothing to do, and don't look for me if you have anything to do.
38, the world is so wonderful, but I am so impatient, not good!
39. Pregnancy is just like pregnancy. It takes a long time for people to see it.
40. To tell the truth, people are all black and blue. Those liars were covered up before the resumption.
4 1, seriously anti-Italy, Phoenix Satellite TV interrupted TV series when playing advertisements!
42. Unfortunately, it was lost when it was time to lose, and it was not lost when it was time to lose.
43. After studying for more than ten years, I think it is better to mix kindergartens!
44. Happiness is a comparative level. You can only feel something at the bottom.
45. Only by looking at others severely can we see their shamelessness.
46. There are many ways to destroy friendship, and the most thorough way is to borrow money.
47. Your future depends on your dreams now, so go to sleep!
48. God said: Don't forget to take an umbrella when you go out. I will water the flowers later.
49. After this village, there is no such shop. After eating this steamed stuffed bun, there is no such stuffing.
50, holding the child's hand, I know that the child is ugly and full of tears. If the child doesn't go, I will go.
5 1, some idol dramas are too pure and really have no acting skills.
52. No matter how bad the mud is, as long as it turns to the wall, something can always stick.
Wear other people's shoes, go your own way and let them take a taxi to find it.
54. Besides love, there are radishes in other people's fields.
55. Life is sometimes like a computer. If it collapses, it collapses. It's not negotiable.
56. The highest state of shameless people is that they are completely unaware of their shameless.
57. Have you been thrown three times at birth and only been caught twice?
58. Asshole is the continuation of dreams and the embodiment of ideals. Come on for Asshole!
59. Say it out loud if you love me! Hate me and hide it in your heart all your life!
60. God, did you share a room in summer and winter? This kind of weather! .
6 1, the recent work is not outstanding, the performance is not outstanding, and the lumbar intervertebral disc is a little prominent.
62. Marriage is the grave of love. I love more. I want to sleep in the grave.
63. Not many people wash their hearts, but there are feet all over the street. Virtue is rare, and beauty is everywhere.
64. Sleep is an art, and no one can stop me from pursuing art.
65. I try to lose weight every day except during meals. You still say I have no perseverance?
If your ugliness can generate electricity, nuclear power plants all over the world can stop.
67. Do you think I will watch you die? I'll close my eyes!
68. Football in China is April Fool's Day every day. It is fake to spend tens of dollars to watch a game.
69. The world is a giant doll machine. I just want to see you through the window.
If I become a personnel manager, the first thing I will do is to promote myself to the boss.
7 1, you can live like a pig, but you can never be as happy as a pig.
72. The old ladies on Naihe Bridge have sold Pepsi. How can I forget you?
73. Life is like an electrocardiogram. You want smooth sailing without ups and downs, unless you die.
74. I know all banquets must come to an end, but at least I want to eat well at the banquet!
75. A knowledgeable person is exquisite in all directions, a knowledgeable person is wise to protect himself, and a knowledgeable person is bleak all his life.
76. The most romantic thing I can think of is that you are getting older day by day while I am still young.
77. Life is short because you forget it when you are alive and suddenly realize it when you die.
78. My name is him in my girlfriend's mobile phone. After breaking up, I became it.
79. When they are in love, they promise to get married again in their next life. After marriage, they often suspect that destiny takes a hand's love was made in a previous life.
80. Praise cows, because I care about milk. Praise the sheep because of the aftertaste of mutton.
8 1, the only criterion for me to test whether a person is sexy is whether he eats much or not, and whether he eats well or not.
82. Buying a computer without broadband is like being a monk without eating.
83, the book has its own Yan Ruyu, I want to have sex with many women or keep proper relationship and study!
84. I want to find a man like King Kong to stand in the tallest building in America and give me a plane.
85. Actually, I can't tell jokes, but someone always asks me to tell one, and you laugh before I tell it.
Boss, is money really that important to you? You talked for more than three hours and didn't leave a penny behind?
60 funny witticisms _ classic funny witticisms
1 Women are only good at makeup, while men are good at camouflage.
Don't digress so far, who is sure that you can live to that day!
A woman's belly is made by a man, and a man's belly is made by a man. The former is due to fertilization, and the latter is due to alcohol.
A true warrior dares to face his own face.
Many people think they are thinking when rearranging their prejudices.
6 work, take a step back, fall in love, take a step back, and people go to the building.
I bought an inch monitor to make my mistakes look smaller!
The pledge of eternal love is a heavyweight commitment, which often embarrasses mountains and seas.
When I came to the end of my life, I found that I was left behind by others, which was my blessing!
Everyone is singular ... when he comes ... when he leaves. ...
1 1 If eating more fish can nourish the brain and make people smart, then you should eat at least one pair of whales.
12 how do girls pretend to be pure? When you speak, change all my words to my family. It's that simple!
There are too many helpless choices in life.
Society, like rivers and lakes, always makes people involuntarily and insincerely.
14 is interested in getting married, but not in falling in love.
15 has a bright future, but there is no road.
16 don't think that you are strengthening the whole earth just because you insert JJ into the ground.
17' s lover is a crocodile and may swallow you up at any time;
The secretary is a turtle, which tastes delicious but can't be tasted every day;
Eldest sister-in-law is a goldfish, but she can't eat it.
Wife is salted fish, how long will it take.
18 You said to wait for me. You did it. You found someone to wait with.
19 come with me, I'll take you to sleepwalk!
In the process of practicing dance, every experience is unforgettable, with blood and tears, and it is difficult to write!
2 1 man, man, leave women alone.
You are not allowed to smoke or drink.
You'll be happy when she bothers others one day, won't you?
When bored, look in the mirror and say, handsome boy, you are so handsome!
The anger of mediocrity, grab the land with the head.
It is not necessarily a virgin who cries and hurts, but a man who seduces.
25 going to kindergarten, losing innocence;
I went to primary school and lost my childhood;
In junior high school, I lost my happiness;
In high school, I lost my mind;
I went to college and lost my pursuit;
After graduation, I lost my major;
Work, lose your edge;
Fall in love and lose your mind;
Mortgage, lost a lifetime;
Married, passion is gone;
Doing business, losing the bottom line;
Go abroad and lose your ancestors;
Weibo, the luxury of losing privacy.
Marriage is a piece of chewing gum, which not only loses its flavor, but also sticks to the teeth.
27 remember what to remember;
Forget what should be forgotten;
Change what can be changed;
Accept the unchangeable.
Hey, girls nowadays really have no taste!
They said the internet was fake, and I laughed as if the reality was true.
I don't know whose daughter-in-law is in my bed, and my daughter-in-law doesn't know whose bed she is!
3 1 House prices are getting higher and higher, and there are fewer and fewer good men.
You comb your hair and put on sesame oil, and wander around all day. When I see a girl, I want to get stuck. If I am not careful, I will become a blind stream.
As a very traditional man, I have always adhered to the ancient monogamy and polygamy.
34 people is a big one. When you meet someone you like, your first feeling is fear.
35 pure, a fiction. Chaos is a beauty.
Adults are uncomfortable, but comfortable is not an adult ~ ~
37 experience of rolling in officialdom-you can tell from a distance that you are flattering, but from a long time you can see that there is something fishy about people.
What I envy is not the young couple, but the husband and wife who help the old and bring the young.
Others laugh at me for being crazy, and I laugh at others for not being able to see through it.
There are no graves of Hao Jie in Wuling, no flowers, no wine, and no hoes to plow the fields.
Why don't you take me with you when the earth rotates?
4 1 Give you a gift with the heaviest amount of feces since there was feces. You will eat a catty and be full. If you feel that the amount of feces is not enough, please help yourself!
If we can't finish writing the documents, our youth will be consumed.
There is a dragon on the left and a white tiger on the right. Mickey Mouse is tattooed on the shoulder.
I'm not afraid of death. I'm afraid that no one will love you as much as I do after I die.
Where is the beauty?
On the plane. In high-end buildings and villas. In the top compartment. In a luxurious private room. In the super shopping area.
Looking at your streamlined body, I want to burn my body, open your unopened seal, insert my own stick and suck your crystal liquid. Cool! Ghosts; Sprite
What should I do after 47 days? We'll talk later! ! !
Bajie, I'm fighting the goddess Chang 'e, and I'll meet you in Gaolaozhuang later.
49 melatonin said that if you don't go to cut class today, you will skip professional courses.
Hui Renbao said he fled, and I also fled.
Dabao said you escaped today?
Hao Di said that everyone's escape is the real escape.
Colgate said that our goal is that no one will attend classes!
Life is like being raped: resist or enjoy;
Work is like whoring: if you can't do it yourself, let others do it;
Society is like masturbation; Everything must be solved by your own hands!
5 1 Find a serious wife and a punctual lover.
52 little three, remainder division.
I admire that I can find 12' s ex-girlfriend who broke up with her through Google!
Time is like cleavage, as long as you squeeze it, there is always some!
55 low-key male show high-profile, high-profile signs of being beaten.
People invented clothes to hide their shame, and then took off their clothes because of fashion. -the relationship between civilization and clothing.
You have the right to remain silent, and everything you say will be recorded.
You can find a proxy server. If you can't afford it, the network will assign one to you.
58 Four Sorrow in Life:
After a long drought, there is a drop of rain;
When you meet an old friend in a foreign country, you are a creditor;
Wedding night, next door;
When nominating a gold medal, dream.
Don't squeeze into a world where you can't get in. It's hard to humiliate yourself for others. Why bother?
It's good to know what you are.
Interesting one-liners
1, girl, do you look up and don't bow your head, and don't shed tears on the dog easily? 7-day National Day holiday is not enough to express my love for my motherland. One month is enough.
I will fight with you if I love you, otherwise, why gamble with tomorrow's youth.
4. Living wastes air, dying wastes land and wasting RMB at home.
5, heart to heart, heart to heart, how do you treat me, I will treat you! From now on! Sweet mouth is hard. Stay and roll. Either endure, be cruel or get out.
6. River God: Son, which one is yours, this golden axe or this silver axe? Woodcutter: Neither. River God: What about this iron axe? Woodcutter: Not really. Give me back my diamond axe. River God: I won't give it.
7. If it rains, let it kill me!
Customer: May I try this orange? Vendor: No. Customer: Then how do I know if your orange is sour? Vendor: You can watch me eat and see if this orange is sour through my expression.
9. You are Tarim Basin, and I am Pacific Water Vapor. I traveled a long way and tried my best to get close to you, but I couldn't reach your heart.
10, old people can't fight, children can't fight, women can't fight, and men fight to the death.
1 1, men are not jealous, and their feelings are not rich; Women are not jealous, and families are not harmonious; Children are not jealous, and their studies are not progressing; Old people are not jealous, and the more they live, the more confused they become; Everyone will be jealous and society will progress; Be confused and be smart.
12, in the workplace, I should be like Conan, with a domineering attitude of letting others die wherever I go.
13, not everyone can live a low-key life, and the basis of low-key is to be high-key at any time.
14, pink lamp, very much in love, catering, disgusting.
15, one day Xiao Ming was reading ancient Chinese, and his father asked him what you were doing. Xiao Ming said: Ancient prose (volume). Dad: Huh? Xiao Ming added: Ancient prose (volume). Then I beat Xiao Ming up.
Every time I see a thin person in the street, I want to give her some meat because I have a kind heart.
17, there is no swearing in the world. Do more homework and have everything.
18, wearing the tide, the tide is not mainstream, wearing sexy, sexy is sitting on the stage.
19, Bajie, don't think you are a night pig standing under the lighthouse.
20. A good wife will never ask her husband to buy her this or that; A good husband will never wait for his wife to talk before buying.
2 1, teacher, if you ignore the bell again, then we will ignore the bell.
22. I haven't held hands for a long time, and even a pickled chicken feet feels gentle.
23. If a man is fined for illegal parking, he will quarrel with the police and the woman will persuade him. If a woman is fined for parking illegally, she will have an argument with the man around her, and the police will persuade her.
Flowers are scattered, dreams are awakened, and there is only you in that life, and it will not dissipate in this life.
Some men are as smart and changeable as the weather. Some women are as stupid as the weather forecast. She can't see the change of the weather.
26. Brother, is your nickname Gao Qiu? I'm completely pissed off by you.
27. The most beautiful words in the world are not that I love you, but that your tumor is benign!
28. If I were a farmer in the world, the next Bill Gates would definitely be me.
29. I haven't heard from you for a long time, and I feel very distressed. I thought of death, and I cut my pulse with potato chips; Hit you on the head with tofu; Jump over buildings with parachutes; Noodles.
In class, the teacher asked the students to make sentences with sadness. Xiao Ming stood up and said without thinking, there is a river in front of my house, and I am so sad! Teacher: I'm even sadder!
3 1. If it's wrong to have money, I'd rather make the same mistake again.
People living in some areas are too poor. It rains there almost every day!
33. A knowing smile, a comforting word and an unnecessary hug are enough.
34. The car should be downshifted and the speed should be appropriate. When you step on the accelerator of the clutch, hold it in neutral position, quickly lift the clutch, add appropriate empty oil, then step on the clutch and change to a new gear, and the clutch slowly lifts the oil to keep up.
35. I really feel that some people are embarrassed not only in appearance, but also in their bones.
36. In fact, we are all three good students. Our three virtues are: having a good time, eating well and sleeping well.
37. In spring, you planted a girlfriend in the back hill, and in autumn, you are cuckolded everywhere!
38. The tragedy of life is that when you want to do anything, you only have a knife.
39. When you grow up to be this bear, you have no money, no savings and no house, so don't fall in love. Why force yourself and embarrass others.
Remember to smile when you meet lightning, because that's the sky taking pictures of you.
4 1, I fool around with mice every day to let cats and dogs rest, which is also a sign of caring for small animals.
42. She is mine. Do not touch her! If it is damaged, you can't pay. If you feel cute, forward it!
43. You pretend to be cold after every exam, because when others are arguing about whether the answer is A or B, you can't figure out why you chose C.
44. One person won 5 million. Find his girlfriend and tell her I won 5 million. Let's split it! Girlfriend moved to nod! I haven't seen anyone for a few days, and the woman cursed: I thought this grandson would share the money with me!
45. My dad touched my head today and said, I believe you will lose your head one day.
46. This morning in spring, I woke up carefree, got up early and ran in the morning, and promised to meet a handsome guy.
47. The sky has not given me any great responsibility, but it still hurts my heart and bones.
48. Love forever, the seas run dry and the rocks crumble, and heaven and earth are integrated. These are all lies of love. I just need to hold your hand until the last second of my life!
49. Don't hate people who speak ill of you, because they let you see yourself in another way.
There will be many unexpected things in this world. For example, do you think I will give an example?
5 1, you and I don't need any trivial things to prove the weight of care, just a self-evident tacit understanding.
52. Brothers are like brothers and women are like clothes. Anyone who touches my brothers and sisters will strip his clothes!
You can live like a pig, but you can never be as happy as a pig.
54. The advantage of news simulcast is that even if you keep changing channels, you can watch a piece of news completely.
55, diaosi and Gao Fushuai kiss the goddess, the former is pa! The latter was snapped up.
56. When you see someone you like on the road, you will immediately start the loading mode.
57. He ignores you. He may have been scalded by water and knocked on the corner of the table with medicine. He was taken to the hospital and the ambulance had an accident. Forget it. How can he chat with others?
58. Being single is not difficult. The hard part is dealing with people who try their best to make you end your single life.
59. When a same-sex pouts at you and pretends to kiss you, you avoid it and you lose! The most effective thing is to kiss him too! He won by avoiding you. If he didn't avoid me, I wish you happiness!
60. I heard the meanest thing a girl said to me: you are not worth washing your hair!
6 1, what is happiness? Happiness is that cats eat fish, dogs eat meat, and Altman beats small monsters.
62. I still have a message in my mobile phone saying that I like your words that I didn't send out.
63. Don't spy on me with mysterious words and don't look at me with suspicious eyes. You should know me and trust me. My love for you will remain the same in this life.
64. If you don't eat what's in the bowl, just eat more in the pot.
When will you invite me to dinner? I'll go out and buy you a bag of crispy noodles later.
66. I found a mouse pad yesterday and wanted to get a computer. What did you say was missing?
67. Some people fall in love, some people drive to see the sea at night, and dawn is the future.
68. You should remember that no matter what we are unfamiliar with in the end, a red envelope can go back to the beginning.
69. There is a dime on the ground that you don't pick up, and there is a dime on the Internet that you rob crazily.
70. The best wishes are not written on greeting cards, but in the remarks column of transfer.
7 1, it is not terrible to meet a group of hooligans on the internet, but it is terrible to meet a bunch of rogue software.
72. You were tanned in the bright sun in the south, and I was frozen in the cold night in the north.
Although I don't like seafood, mermaids are acceptable.
74. Keep your initial warmth and sunshine, which attracted me most at the beginning.
75. Playing mahjong with three girls, they said they wouldn't play with money, so I said, take out what you have. As a result, I won three packs of sanitary napkins, two packs of paper towels and a bottle of Fuyanjie.
If I can, I would like to spend every minute of my life with you, but now all I can do is miss you every minute!
77. Baidu checked how Mi won the first place. The best answer is that his girlfriend was finally molested.
78. Marry the Tang Priest when you grow up. Fight if you can, or eat him if you can't.
79. It's not that I don't fold the quilt, mainly because I miss the past, or I like the quilt that I slept the day before. I have to raise this living habit problem to personality cultivation.
80.i am a man. You must not challenge my bottom line, or I will revise it.
8 1. Once I came home, my uncle beat me up and said that you were absent from class. I waited for you in primary school for an hour, but I didn't see you. I cried and said to him: I am in the first grade!
82. It is suggested that the country replace the chair used in class with a swivel chair that is the same as China's good voice. If students think the teacher speaks well, they will turn around and listen.
83. When a man doesn't belong to you, let you sigh what is perfect, and when he belongs to you, let you sigh what is true.
I know you don't love me, but I miss you like a flood.
85. Only you cherish my feelings, understand my heart and accept my love.
86. I have thought about the words "special efforts", but I have only achieved the first four.
87. Only a liar is sincere in the world, because he really cheated you.
88. Have fun when you should play, and sleep well when you should study. Are you the same?
89, such a big wind, girl, my hair is really all kinds of postures, all kinds of swings, all kinds of surges and all kinds of waves.
90. There is only one earth, so everyone should cherish it. I am the only one on the earth, so everyone should love me.
9 1, this scene came alive at the end, not the whole city, not the country, but everything to me.