Dandan:

Your signature has already told the answer. Many things have pros and cons, and "pain and happiness" is an incisive summary of life. .

Looking deeper, what is the purpose of life? Some people seek fame, some seek profit; some seek happiness, some seek excitement; some like to follow the rules, while some are dissatisfied with the status quo and want to toss... It can be said that pigs push forward and chickens dig backwards, each has its own way of living.

From a psychological perspective, people live to meet the psychological needs of the current environment. When you are hungry, you need to eat; when you are sick, you go to the hospital; when you are lonely, you find friends; when you are ignored, you want to be taken seriously; when you are rich, you do charity and give back to society, etc. The key word here is "current environment". In other words, what is the wish you most want to realize here and now? Or what is the wish you are sure you want to realize in the future, right here and now?

Every time people do something, they have their explicit or implicit motivations and needs. Things can be roughly divided into three categories: one is daily things, such as washing your face and mouth and going to sleep; the other is important things, such as finding a You can make a lot of money by signing contracts for projects; the third is fun things, such as singing karaoke, playing ball, and getting beauty treatments. The reasons why people do this or not do that have their underlying logic and reason, and blindness is rare.

Dandan, the same goes for you. There must be a reason why you fell in love with the general manager. The rewards you get will, of course, satisfy your inner needs. As for what exactly is the demand? You may be as clear about investment and financial management as you are, or you may be like a mute marrying a bride - you know everything but can't tell. There is a strong motivation in your heart urging you to do this. If you don't follow this motivation, it will make you feel even more uncomfortable. In other words, if I advise you now: Stop it quickly, don’t play with fire, be careful to burn your hands! You may be unwilling and unable to bear it.

Doing something even though you know you can't do it - not giving up until you reach the Yellow River, or even reaching the Yellow River. This is a weakness of human nature. Regarding your current embarrassing role, let’s analyze it more superficially and compare the differences between mistress, lover and mistress.

The mistress refers to the third party who intervenes in the stable relationship between men and women. The two may not have a financial relationship, and the man may not be married; they are financially independent, and their appearance may not be the most beautiful thing in the world. They care about emotional rewards and the ultimate goal. They are being "righted up" and forming a new family while destroying the existing family; the mistress can have children for the sake of a man; a man with a mistress is not necessarily rich; the relationship between the two is to accompany each other for half the journey, and often "the sea of ??suffering is boundless, but when you turn around, you will find a shore", Have something to say when breaking up.

A lover means that one or both parties have a spouse, and the relationship between the two transcends body and money. They do not sell their bodies for money, nor love crazily for love; they care most about the person in front of them, not him (her) No, it is irreplaceable; the lover can start a family and start a business normally, not caring about the form, only caring about the content; not interfering or harming the happiness of the other person's family, and unwilling to destroy the existing life; the lover does not need to have children, but cares about the world of two people; the relationship between the two is companionship Walking through life, "Ask what love is in the world, and it will teach you how to make love in life and death."

A mistress refers to a young and beautiful "beautiful woman" who is kept by a man after he already has a legal wife; she is not financially independent and regards their relationship as "work". She has clear goals, is very rational, and is a little girl. They come for money; it is good if they can be "righted", but they do not necessarily have to drive away the "big breasts"; a man with a second wife must be rich; the second wife can give birth to a man's children for money; the relationship between the two is to go together for a long time. Cheng, a "settlement fee" is required when breaking up.

Dandan, I wonder if you have any new feelings after reading the three interpretations? In fact, it doesn't matter which category you put yourself in. What matters is whether you can accept your behavior and whether this behavior conflicts with the mainstream values ??of society.

If a person does not accept his or her behavior, then he or she will definitely have inner conflicts, which is equivalent to endocrine disorders; if a person accepts himself or herself, but his or her behavior does not conform to social norms, he or she will also be lonely and miserable. External disharmony is equivalent to a person being in a harsh environment where mosquitoes and flies breed.

In addition, Dandan, I need to remind you that falling in love with the general manager satisfies the demand, but this "demand" channel is not the only one. It can also be satisfied through other channels, and perhaps other channels will not be entangled. , no shadows and full sun, try it!

Zhuhai Bangda Psychological Institution-Chief Psychological Counselor Cao Zeneng