Reading this book makes me deeply reflect on myself. In the past, my self-esteem for children also revealed a little ridiculous.
But as long as we look back a little and even find a park to see the way parents treat their children around us, we have to admit the fact that the cruelty of adults to children is frightening!
We are strongly involved in the children's world, turning a blind eye to the children's efforts and even being indifferent. Children often arrogantly hinder the development of normalization in a self-righteous way, so that they are often called willful and even become psychological obstacles.
I am worried and angry about the children's situation shown in the book, but I have to admit that the present situation of education in China is strikingly similar to that when The Secret of Childhood was published. What have we been doing in the past one hundred years?
Self-righteous thinking that they know everything, arbitrary definition of everything, do not agree with the hard work of children under dictatorship. I can't have the slightest sympathy for their painful struggle or their efforts to save themselves, and think that this is growth.
But are all experiences really necessary? Are they all really beneficial?
Or is it just the arrogance and laziness of adults?
When expressing my regret, some friends don't care, and I am also rethinking whether I have made a mountain out of a molehill.
But I can only say that children are no small things.
Of course, the adult world is the indifference to the children's world and the oppression that the other party can't resist. Usually, tyrants don't admit their ignorance.
However, we should not be too hard on ourselves. It is difficult for a person who has been evaluated since childhood and doesn't know what real freedom is to give his children real love at once. Some of them are arrogant, mysterious and cunning. This is part of my introspection. I used to brag.
Children are the hope of mankind, but few people really realize the importance of children's rights and psychological development. They regard children as private goods and think that adults are the shapers of children. The fact is that without children, human beings will fall.
There is such a passage in the book that is particularly touching:
Why do children get up early in the morning, go to their parents' room, overcome their fear of darkness and want to see that lovely person? If it's not because of love, what is it?
Who will love us wholeheartedly without reservation, no matter how many times we push him away?
Children are people who arouse us to pursue truth, goodness and beauty, and angels who inspire us to know ourselves, know ourselves, accept ourselves unconditionally and love ourselves. It is God's most precious gift to every parent.
In fact, the book "The Secret of Childhood" points out the direction, and it has been clarified in the first part:
There is a principle:
There are three basic conditions to meet children's development:
For the second point: it is really difficult to do it without a trace of utilitarianism, and we need to stay awake at all times.
Yesterday, the small house wanted to make chocolate biscuits. I was urged to make cookies between studying, writing, reading, preparing lunch and playing with my children, so I subconsciously thought: just do it.
In order to meet the children's hands-on needs without delaying their own affairs, I asked the small house to prepare utensils, master the progress by myself, weigh and stir, and even go to the supermarket to buy fudge by myself. I only shoot at the critical moment.
Finally, mix the dough together, and when you plan to finalize the design, knead it into a ball in a perfunctory way and press it with your thumb. But the little house picked walnuts that he didn't like, and made them round and lovely. By contrast, mine is too shoddy ~
I was a little anxious to see him pick out all the walnuts and shape them slowly. I can't help but want him to do what I want, and immediately warn: then I'll go to dinner first ~
I sat at the table, eating, watching his focused back, and after another 20 minutes, I was particularly moved.
I used to let him do it himself, but the purpose is very strong: it can cultivate his independent ability and make him proud. But that's still based on my own feelings, instead of being full of appreciation and love as I am now, watching my life work hard and glowing. These two properties are completely different.
This book makes me regain my confidence in my children's self-discipline, self-confidence, voluntary and conscious growth and development, and also makes me more clear about what I should do and what I should improve.
These people are also beneficiaries of Montessori education:
This month is a time for me to reflect and examine the parenting process in the past seven or eight years. Perhaps it is because the growth of mind in recent years has finally made up for it and made up for the lack of personality. When I begin to be complete, I can look back more objectively and see the mistakes and correctness made by my children in the process of growing up.
I am a person with a strong sense of purpose. The small house is just full moon, and I have taken him around, traveled and ran with my backpack. ...
But every time there is a clear destination, it is up to me to decide when to start and when to end. Although he has free time to play in the middle, the big frame adapts to him according to my rhythm, not mine, which does not meet the needs of children's development, and I believe the actual situation will be more serious than I thought.
This point has not shown a particularly big deviation so far, but in the process of my own growth, especially my understanding of education has become more and more profound, and I regret my original mistakes and omissions.
Looking back, I can only say that there is no absolute right or wrong method, and even I may use it faster and more accurately than the average person, but the problem lies in my lack of love, mostly out of responsibility.
The sense of responsibility urges positive actions, which is very worthy of respect. The problem lies in parenting. The more you take responsibility, not out of love, the more you take the initiative, the more you want to solve the problem, and the more you deviate because you are wrong.
It's sad, but it's true. This is the importance of initial heart. This is why we should constantly pursue selfish desires. Only when we have a clear conscience can we pay in the way that children need. Because if you follow your conscience, everything will happen in the right way.
It is worth mentioning that many people are covered up by various selfish desires because of their past experiences, especially their childhood experiences. There is no way to avoid removing them, and there is no way to cover them all at once. Therefore, there is no need to blame yourself for being wrong from the beginning. Just work hard now and in the future. Let misfortune end with me.